Persona 3 - The Alternity Paradox, Part II
by Dad of War
Summary: Before he was a Universe, he was a man. And as a man, Makoto Yuki set himself on the warpath against the horrific Dark Hour that had torn his world apart. Yet as the Hour's terrors began fracturing his sanity, Makoto found himself embroiled in a struggle to learn what it truly means to be human in a world of horror and steel. [MakotoXYukari; co-written with Emiya2004]
1. Prologue: I Am Now Become Death

"I want to save her."

"You're already skirting the line between being her aide and being so much more. Your duties here far outweigh your desires there."

"You do realize that you are essentially allowing her to break down."

"And yet she still fights on. Let her. She is the catalyst to Nyx's downfall."

"She is a girl."

"To think she is _just_ a girl is foolish of you. I'm not doing this because I hate her. I am doing this because she needs to obtain the Universe Arcana-"

"At what _cost_? Her sanity? Her _life_? Master, with all due respect, you cannot expect to continue on allowing her to be like this!"

"She is arrogant. Immature. At the rate she is choosing to go, she will prove to be a failure. Five Social Links. That's all she's established within the past six months. One of them is broken completely. Another is bordering on reversal. Another still is already reversed, and all remaining were completely by accident. Her refusal to follow instruction will be her downfall, and she needs to be kept in line."

"She can't fail, obviously - I know she won't. But she will live past this year with emotional and physical scars that will never, ever heal, no matter how many Social Links she'll establish and has already established."

"That...is where you are wrong, unfortunately."

"What is that supposed to mean...? Will she...?"

"Hamuko Yuki is destined to die at the end of this year."

* * *

 **PROLOGUE: _NOW, I AM BECOME DEATH._**

* * *

A rumbling noise came from the golden sky. Then, pounding sounds rang out to accompany the noise.

All the clocks started twitching and convulsing, eventually falling downward into the black abyss. Seeing no other stairs leading downward, I realized that the only way down was quite literally through the darkness. I stuffed the Compendium into my Dimens Jacket and made a go at the newest challenge before us.

I ran off the bridge, everyone else reacting accordingly - meaning they were horrified at my sudden and ultimately reckless act. And I should have been horrified as well. But by the time I realized what a bad idea this was, I'd gotten onto a clock being pulled downward by nothing. By the time I realized that I shouldn't have acted so brashly, there was no turning back.

Black emptiness continued for about ten seconds before a flash of light burst through, like a hole pierced into a blanket.

The light blinded me as the clock I was on continued its dive. My eyelids stung with the light burning into them during my attempts at keeping my eyes safe from the searing glow. When the burn subsided, I opened my eyes and immediately regretted doing so.

Everything was burning. There were almost no structures of any kind. Just rocky, chaotic formations - all of which were ablaze. The fires crackled with the fury of a thousand infernos as I noticed what appeared to be hundreds of _things_ hanging from the aforementioned rocky structures. Mannequin-esque, they were rattling and shaking. With chains wrapped around their neck joints, their skinless, ceramic, and humanoid forms were very nearly burning themselves from the flames.

It had been three seconds since entering this floor, and already I started sweating. After five seconds, I was parched. And after ten seconds, I was getting heatstroke. The clock descended and descended, and I missed a rocky platform that wasn't aflame - but it didn't matter. This was the second floor. And five more people were on the floor beyond this one. The lowest part of this floor was, too, a dark void that appeared to lead into nothingness.

The flames leaving me, the clock continued downward into the darkness. Glad to have emerged unscathed from the flames, I covered my eyes again in anticipation for the blinding light - and I was right. The stinging sensation was now spreading to places the light hit all over my body - and it especially affected my chest area. The light then vanished so suddenly - like a switch had shut it off, and then, I was in darkness. I found something white and without thinking,I leapt onto it.

Rolling onto the platform and feeling my spine meet cold bone made me let out a scream, the clock continuing its trip down to other floors. I struggled and groaned as I sat myself up, stretching to alleviate the pain in my back. I slipped and almost lost my grip, but managed to get my fingers in a wide fissure-like gap. I then pulled myself up, managing to scramble further ahead on the platform and grab onto a white, ridge-like structure.

Surrounding me was blackness. However, lights began illuminating the room.

"Makoto!"

I craned my head upwards and before I knew it, coming down from the skies and crashing down onto the same platform as I was on were my allies. Yukari and Junpei leapt from a single clock down to me, managing to hit themselves against ridged structures of their own. Shinjiro and Akihiko followed, Koromaru alongside them - Aegis, Ken, and Mitsuru diving in last from a third clock.

" _No_ -!"

 _Senpai._

"Akihiko!"

I turned. Akihiko had slipped. He hadn't been able to grab on to anything, and so he was now falling.

 _No, no-!_ I reached into my pocket and tried grabbing the book but he was falling too fast and-

"Aki-!"

Shinjiro managed to grab hold of Akihiko's hand. Quickly, perfectly, he did it. Aegis pulled Akihiko up as well, ultimately saving him.

Akihiko's eyes were like saucers and he was breathing like he had just gone through the most rigorous obstacle course ever.

I moved forward while saying, "Get up quickly, we've got to-!"

"What were you thinking, diving onto the clock like that!?" Yukari got all up in my face as she continued, "You didn't even know it'd lead you down here-!"

"This isn't the time, we'll talk later, for now we have to go...!"

And then I realized just what the room _looked_ like.

It was like a world of dead flesh. Grey and crisp, the walls were lined with gigantic gaps and cracks; watery, oily substances secreting out from them. Horrible _moaning_ noises were surrounding us, from each crevice and open space within the walls. And then I looked below me; we were all standing atop a literal bone bridge. We were atop a structure that resembled very much a gigantic spinal cord, wide enough to contain three people in a row and long enough for an entire country's population to fill the bridge. Jutting out from the sides were giant rib bones that were proportional to the spinal column, but were also narrow enough to accommodate only one person per row.

Floating around the area were gigantic skulls speaking in a language that, somehow, reminded me of broken-up Spanish. However, they did not seem to want anything to do with us, instead opting to make conversation with themselves.

Below the bridge was yet another everlasting darkness.

And then-

 _=/= Yukari-chan! =/=_

I pushed her to my left while I made a break to my right. What had tried to come down on Yukari crashed down onto the bone spotted the object - a blade. It had embedded itself into the ground, and it appeared to be more than seven feet tall.

And suddenly, Pyro Jack came and blasted the blade, the sword actually _screaming_ like it was being tortured. I whipped my head around to see Elizabeth with her Compendium out and open. "Master, I assumed you'd have had yours out by now," she smiled slyly.

Immediately, I felt like an idiot for not doing it sooner, but got myself together just as quickly. I opened the book as a rage-filled roar replaced the pain-filled cries that had blasted through the air, ordering everyone who had an Evoker on them to "Save your Personas for later!" I flipped around about six pages before slamming the book shut and Thor, Orpheus, the Jack brothers, Oumitsunu, and Vetala all burst out and charged forward. I called to everyone, "Who has the Traesto Gems with them!?"

"I do!" Mitsuru replied.

"Give one Gem to each of us," I ordered, and she followed those orders immediately, first giving one to me, then Junpei, then the rest. "If we come across a person, give them your Gem! We have to move fast! Yamagishi, where's the nearest person to us!?"

 _=/= T-twenty meters ahead of you, there's an intersection! After that, go on the rib bone next to you! Then, keep on heading straight! There's someone there! =/=_

"Then let's go-"

"Master, I think you should know-"

Something crashed in front of us, like a black block of hail the size of a basketball. My skull would've been all over the place had I stepped any further. The ball sprouted legs, and Jumpei plunged his katana into it before it could do anything else, burning it to cinders.

"Go, go, _go!_ " he yelled, removing his katana from the corpse and pushing me forward, " _Go_!"

Following up on Junpei's words, I ran ahead. I turned my head upwards. There was an actual ceiling to this place, but there was a _large_ opening crevice in the middle, presumably where we had come from. However, around this crevice were pores and pustules, pulsating and looking like they wanted to burst. One already had, judging from the mass of flesh dangling off right above where Yukari had been.

I took caution to watch for any other falling Shadows that might have tried to attack us. And then I ran. True to Fuka's words, there was an intersection, but it had only appeared in my point of view once I had actually taken a step forward - it was like a glitchy open world game, where the textures and structures would only appear when you would reach a certain distance.

And then I ran forward even more!

 _Right turn!_

Twenty meters were done. The right turn was made. About a hundred meters or so from me, I spotted one of my friends.

He was quite literally strapped by large pieces of what appeared to be cartilage to one a giant skull that was floating in place - and he was glowing an eerie blue. He wore an undershirt along with black jogging pants. He was about three meters away from the edge of the bony, ridged platform taking the form of a gargantuan rib bone.

I recognized his form - "Kazushi!"

I ran ahead, sprinting towards him on the precarious structure, heedless of Yukari, Fuka, and Junpei's warnings - and then I heard a roar, accompanying it a thunderous sweeping noise. And then, I was suddenly falling. A gust of wind had sent me falling down, but I was remaining particularly calm through it all, unlike my companions.

"Makoto!" Yukari cried, to which I merely called out -

" _Thor_!"

My Persona swept down and caught me in his arms, lifting me up into the air so as to have me see the flying creature circling around me that had attempted to send me down.

 _=/= Get its wings! =/=_

Its skin was dried, old, dead flesh - reddened by what appeared to be dried blood. Its neck was five feet long and it had a head similar to a crocodile's - if said crocodile had spikes protruding from its nose. It had bony human hands at the ends of each of its four legs and the tail of a scorpion. It had the body of a lion, and was using rotten wings to keep it in the skies - said wings having a span of eighteen meters.

 _Faster. Kill it now. Make it easier to get to Kaz._ "Everyone get Kaz out of here! I'll deal with this one!"

"Makoto-!"

"Do _not_ question me!" I screamed to Yukari, climbing atop Thor's shoulders so as to get his hands free to use Mjolnir. "Get to him and get him out! Keep on moving ahead without me, if you have to-!"

Before Yukari could object further, the dragon barreled into Thor, sending me flying off. It was yet another unsuccessful attempt to get me falling to another floor, however, because a levitating Orpheus managed to break my fall.

"Thunder Reign!" I shouted at Thor, the blood rushing to my head because of Orpheus carelessly keeping me in the game by gripping my leg right at the ankle.

Thor brought his hammer down onto the dragon just as a furious lightning bolt rained down upon it, a brilliant crescendo ringing off as the bolt grew stronger with every passing second that it dealt damage.

I heard the cries of my teammates down below me - cries like, "What the-!?" and, "My eyes!" and, "Just keep going!" filled my ears.

"Thor! Wings! Off! _Now_!"

Thor then grabbed the dragon by its massive wings, the beast thrashing about and roaring in agony as my Persona continued his onslaught. The dragon then started flying around, crashing itself into the skin walls to get the son of Odin off its back. But Thor was unrelenting.

"Come on! Get off!"

 _Yukari_.

I whipped my head over to the sound of her voice. She was on the skull, Io floating right next to her. The cartilage around Kazushi was growing tighter and tighter around him, and he wasn't awakening at all. The more Yukari tried to rip the pieces off, they would regrow at a faster rate.

"Hermes, burn it-!"

"You can't do _that_!"

"What do you suggest-!?"

Eventually, there was a _crash_ ing noise - the dragon had slammed itself into one of the floating skulls in the room.

Thor, however, had gotten out of it before he could have gotten hit.

As for the dragon, its skull was bleeding and its wings were utterly torn. Red, not black, escaped from its corpse, a fact that I paid little heed to at the moment. I had other things to worry about now. I jumped from Orpheus, back onto Thor's back. I then turned to my friends as the dragon fell into the dark void below us, "Get Kaz free now-!"

 _=/= Makoto, fire attack! Behind you! =/=_

And I felt something _hot_ surging right behind me. I had Thor flip over, keeping my body out of dodge of the inferno - "AGH-!" - but I still had to endure a painful burning sensation on my abdomen. Thor was still corporeal - as I'd hoped a top-tier Persona like he would be -

 _=/= Another dragon behind you again Makoto_ get out of there _! =/=_

\- but a deafeningly loud roar brought me to the sight of another dragon. Or, rather, the gaping jaws of another dragon.

"Vetala!" I shouted within the span of the 0.000002 seconds I had before the dragon would have clamped its massive teeth around my little twig-neck.

The jaws stopped, something keeping them from shutting all the way down. My musclebound bipedal war elephant of the Devil Arcana had managed to stick himself between the jaws like some defiant and fat toothpick, bellowing a cry for battle from his trunk. The dragon, however, simply let out an echoing sound of...amusement, as if Vetala was simply just one more roadblock to overcome before finally claiming its meal.

Until Orpheus zapped into the frame and laid down a _harsh_ blow with his lyre, giving the dragon a splitting headache and distracting it enough to enable Vetala to have a go at his gross, green, bulging tonsils.

My chest was scalding, like a man with no elbows in his arms had tried to serve me coffee while in a rush. To put an end to the dragon burning into Thor's massive chest, I called out for "Pyro Jack!"

Immediately, the burning sensation stopped intensifying. Pyro Jack had come between Thor and the dragon and was now sucking up all the flames like a vacuum. Seeing this new obstacle preventing it from making Thor and me a crisp, the dragon stopped unleashing an inferno upon us and just decided to make an attempt at _eating_ the more fiery half of the Jack brothers.

Which did not work, as the other half of the Jack brothers suddenly landed atop the dragon's head and slammed a mighty fist down upon it - freezing it to an impressive degree. Its head now encased in an ice block, the dragon found itself at the mercy of a smoking, simmering, _seething_ Thor. And Thor lent his mercy - a quick death, punctuated by one sudden and brutal blow to the dragon's frozen skull, shattering it into chunks of ice and sending its corpse down into the abyss below.

I let out a cross breath, turning to the other dragon. Vetala was now hanging by the mandible of the creature, black blood coming down onto him from the beast's throat. Orpheus was atop the dragon's head, slamming his lyre down upon his skull persistently, as if he were an annoying headache. "Thor," I murmured. "Back."

The Son of Odin floated over to the other dragon's thrashing, wild body, and in a motion so quick that even I couldn't follow it, sundered the dragon's spine with one smash from Mjolnir. My other Personas escaped the fray - Orpheus flew off to Yukari and the rest of the party while Vetala dove down in pursuit of Orpheus. I decided to have Thor finish the job with yet another mighty swing of his hammer - this time, to the dragon's skull.

Already dead, the dragon descended into the darkness, just missing the rib bone bridge by a meter or so.

"Have you guys gotten Kazushi out of there yet!?" I screamed, paranoid for other attacks and craning my neck in pretty much every direction.

"Negative!" Junpei called out. "This thing is too tough to-!"

"Fine!" I exasperatedly groaned. "I'll have a look at-!"

I stopped. I blinked. I looked around. I lowered my jaw. _Wait. What?_

"Yuki, what is it?" Mitsuru, upon seeing my suddenly dumbstruck expression, exclaimed, putting her Evoker to her head.

"Elizabeth." _Where'd she go!?_ "Elizabeth-!"

"I would recommend for all of you to take cover, now."

I whipped my head around to see Elizabeth - right on Thor, next to _me_. "When'd you get there-!?"

"Pixie." She clapped her Compendium and out came the smallest of my Personas. She flew up about two meters as Elizabeth then warned, "You all had better duck."

And a purple ball of death floated far, _far_ above Pixie as I widened my eyes in horror, Thor charging downwards with me and the attendant in tow. " _EVERYBODY_ _GET DOWN_!"

I closed my eyes and covered my head.

A wave of light blasted away the air, and the heat was so deathly my back felt scorched - despite the Dimens Jacket not being damaged at all. The volume overtook our screams of terror and shock as the wave continued for another five seconds. Rumbling noises grew louder and louder as sounds of things being set on fire accompanied those noises. I let out a scream of my own amidst all the chaos and continued doing so for three seconds after the blast died down. Thor, thankfully, had managed to get me and Elizabeth out of Megidolaon's range, and I was just shaking both inside and out, terrified.

"What was that!?" exclaimed Yukari as she frantically got up to her feet on shaky legs, " _What was that_!?"

Junpei was keeling over, looking like he wanted to vomit. Akihiko and Shinjiro just widened their eyes, appearing to have witnessed the whole thing, judging from their expressions. Ken was in Shinjiro's arms, holding Koromaru as he trembled in sheer fear.

What looked like _hundreds_ of burning, unrecognizable Shadow corpses were now coming down upon us, falling apart and slamming onto the platforms we were on as we just sat there in awe. There was a _huge_ hole in the place where the ceiling had used to be, and clumps of flesh and meat were falling as well - thankfully, not on us. We didn't need any more trauma.

"What...Elizabeth...," I murmured out. "What did you...what'd you just...?"

"That is a Megidolaon at full power, Master," she said, settling on the nape of Thor's neck as I gripped his shoulder even tighter. "The Personas in this Compendium resemble yours _in appearance_...they are far stronger."

"...Can I keep it when this is all over-?"

"No. It is mine," she smiled. "However, we shouldn't think of such trivialities now. Get to your friend-"

 _Gimme the book!_ I grabbed the book, which was still in her left hand - and my fingers ended up electrified. And yet, I had Thor equipped. Which meant that this was electricity enough to stagger _even Thor_. "AAAGH! Why-!?" Little did I know that I was now falling due to my lack of a grip on Thor's shoulder, but Elizabeth caught me before I knew it.

"I have to give you permission. Just go and get your friend." She still kept a smile, infuriatingly enough.

"Gah! Why can't it ever just be easy for once!?" I got down from Thor once he had placed himself on the floating skull, and ran over to Kazushi while shaking my hands free of the numbness that had suddenly grabbed hold of them. He was still lying on the ground, sleeping peacefully. It was like he hadn't even heard all of the carnage that had just taken place around him. "Kazushi!" I tried grabbing at the vines of cartilage trapping my friend, before stopping myself and exasperatedly calling on Thor - "Zap him."

"Wait, _what_!?" Yukari cried out, obviously terrified. "You can't-!"

"It'll just be a small bolt don't worry." I said that so fast that no commas are necessary.

"Yuki-!"

"Vines only! _Now_!"

Objections to my admittedly thrown-together plan were hurled at me from all across the board. But in my usual state-of-being when faced with this kind of harrowing situation, I cared less about how everybody was going to wring me for this and more about how if I wasn't going to do anything, Kaz would die.

" _Makoto_ , _no_!"

Just as Thor was going to make the smallest bolt of lightning he possibly could make, Elizabeth stopped me with a simple hand on my shoulder. "Wait," she said to me, as calmly as anyone could be in this situation. "I have an idea."

I did nothing but blink in anticipation, sweat beading down my head as I relented. Thor lowered Mjolnir, and I stepped backwards so as to let her pass to Kaz. With a motherly spring in her step, she moved forward, gazing down upon my entrapped classmate with a comforting sort of air around her. It was then I made out words: "What are you doing...?"

"Hush," she breathed. She then laid her hand on Kazushi's bare, exposed forehead for about three seconds. And then a blue light blinded us for about a second. Before we could even react, the tendrils wrapping around Kazushi unfurled in the mere presence of this light, never rearing up again. Appearing above Kazushi's body was a door to the Velvet Room.

I knew what this was. "No. No. You can't do this." I knew what she was planning - what Philemon was planning. "You can't do this to them-"

"Makoto, what-?"

I whipped around to Junpei, "They're trying to give Kazushi a Persona!" And at that, everybody just let me do my thing. I turned back to Elizabeth. "You're not going to draft them into this war!"

"Using the Velvet Room is the most viable option at this point," she replied to me with a neutral face and a cold voice. "Five minutes have passed. Six, maybe - seven at most. Only one out of the twelve, you've reached. At this rate, you'll save at best _half_ of the hostages here. You have no choice but to use the Room to save these people."

I didn't know what to say in response. Morosely, I turned back to my companions, all of whom looked like they didn't know exactly what to say, either. "Guys...? Anyone?"

Yukari and Junpei turned to each other and then averted their eyes from everybody else. Mitsuru had her hands folded, and her head was hanging low. Ken was staring up at Shinjiro, hoping to look to him for guidance, but Shinjiro himself just had an ill scowl on his face. Akihiko put his arms at his sides and pursed his lips, breathing heavily. Fuka wasn't saying anything. Koromaru looked curious as to the suddenly downbeat atmosphere, and Aegis was busy reformatting her arm cannons.

I blinked again. This time, slowly. I turned back to Elizabeth, my heart weighing thousands of pounds, and I weakly murmured, "Okay."

* * *

"I've put doors to every one of your friends," Elizabeth told me, after exiting the Room. "All you need to do is get them in the Room."

"Can't we count on that Philemon guy to do it for us?" Junpei complained, rightfully so.

"He cannot. He's done enough already."

"Because of course he has," I spitefully, bitterly groaned. "He can fix this all right now, if he would just-"

"Doing any more than what he has done already would be the equivalent of strapping a million anvils to a person's back," she defensibly shot back, but with a tinge of venom at the word "he."

"Really, now?" Mitsuru raised an eyebrow, slightly in derision, slightly in sincere curiosity.

"Yes," Elizabeth closed her eyes. "Really."

But I knew, even at this, that we still would not have enough time. We would still have to _get_ to the people to send them into the Room. And still, at this rate, that would take a while, especially with all the Shadows in here. But Elizabeth. She had a Compendium. So did I, but I had to stay here. To protect everyone. And she had stronger Personas. That Pixie was just one of the many.

And so, a new plan formed.

Elizabeth turned to me, her eyes open now. She gave a weak, broken smile. A small, almost unnoticeable one. And then it hit me. From this small, seemingly meaningless gesture - it hit me. She knew what I was thinking. No, she had planned for me to have this thinking pattern all along. I widened my eyes. "Do you happen to have a Persona that can have a carrying capacity of seven people and can endure a _lot_ of damage?" I asked the question with a voice even the destitute would find pathetic.

"Not yet," she bluntly explained.

I nodded dumbly. "Okay, then. Please get one." She nodded and immediately began flipping through the pages of her book. I then proceeded to say to everyone - all of whom were questioning his thought process at the moment - what I had conjured up in my head, "New plan: split up into the groups I instructed you to form to watch each other's back earlier. Ignore every Shadow. Make a beeline for every path Fuka says has a person at the end. We stay on this floor. Elizabeth goes down to the lower ones. She gets everyone else from the lower floors into the Room. We get them in there from here."

They all nodded apprehensively. Understanding of the situation. Accepting of their jobs. Acknowledging that the decision I've made was what was the most efficient at the moment. She and Philemon were working for this to happen. To get all my friends and give them Personas. The bile in my throat was enough to make me retch at the notion. _My friends are going to end up with Personas, and it's all my fault. They'll experience the Dark Hour until next month, when we all finish this - but until then, they'll have to live with_ Personas _-_

"I think I should get more than one big Persona for this job," Elizabeth said as she continued flipping through.

 _...I'm done._ "Alright, just-" I turned and saw something amazing.

Two pairs of cards fluttered out from the book and the components of each pair merged into each other. White light then enveloped the room and we were forced to cover our eyes again. However, within a second, the light faded into the darkness the room had always had - but now, above Elizabeth, were two giant dragons.

One of them was golden. Its body appeared more than a hundred feet long, and shone like the sun. The air around it was burning simply because of its presence - and its eyes blazed with determination, spirit, and an alarming aura of power. The other dragon was a deep red. It had a black underbelly and four massive wings, each one appearing to have a length of fifteen feet. It towered beside the golden dragon, but was not as large as its more bright counterpart.

"What in the...?" Yukari breathed out, taking several steps back.

"I'll explain everything to you when this is over, trust me," I said to her. "J-just-"

"Kohryu," Elizabeth pointed to the golden dragon, "Samael," she pointed to the red one. "Are these two big enough?"

I nodded slowly to Elizabeth.

I re-explained the plan with all these new Personas in-line, for the sake of making things utterly clear. "Elizabeth will use her Personas to go and save the hostages while we keep Shadows from her. She'll use Kohryu and Samael to pick people up and she'll have them Velvet Room their way out of here." Junpei's eyes lit up. Akihiko nodded his head in understanding of the situation. Yukari seemed fearful, but readied her bow. Aegis had just finished restocking her ammo supply. Amada's eyes flashed with some semblance of hope, before lifting his spear up. Shinjiro lifted his axe and put it over his shoulder. The dog barked. Fuka said nothing. Mitsuru's eyes...were steely. "What matters isn't the elimination of the Shadows! Is that clear!? Only fight when absolutely necessary! Just keep on running! Are you guys ready!?" They all readied their weapons and got their summoning devices out."Then let's _go already_!"

And they scattered.

* * *

"Whoa...wait, what...?"

"Welcome to the Velvet Room, my dear young man. My name is Igor. I am delighted to make your acquaintance."

"The Velvet...what?"

"This is a realm between dream and reality. Mind, and matter. You will be staying here until my master has decided to send you out."

"This...is a dream, then?"

"Yes."

"Well...uh...this place looks neat. I, uh, guess - you sure this is a dream? 'Cause...it...feels like it is, but it isn't - _what is going on where am I holy_ -"

"Kazushi Miyamoto, I have a question to ask."

"Huh-? Who's -!? Wait...why do you look like _me_?"

"Because I am you. And as your self, I need to ask you a question."

"Wait...what _is_ this? What's going on here-?"

"How would you like to save the world?"

"...This dream is starting to sound pretty awesome."

"It won't be a dream soon enough. It'll be a nightmare."

* * *

 _ **A/N:**_

* * *

And so it begins. Again.

As longtime readers can see, I've made changes to the original fight scene (yes, altering things even in The Alternity Paradox), in the hopes of creating a whole new experience to kickstart this rollercoaster of destruction and mayhem.

This is where things get dramatic.

Hope you all stick around for the ride, 'cause it's gonna be a really bumpy one.


	2. Arcana CHAOS

**ARCANA CHAOS.**

* * *

Of course, it had been completely out of character of me.

The Incarcerator of Death who would give no quarter to any who would _dare_ oppose him and would turn from being stone-faced to rabid in the blink of an eye. Now, bending over to the will of this golden-eyed bellhop. Granted, she had just blown up dozens of Shadows right before our very eyes, but I had kind of made a reputation for myself of not caring about sizeable odds.

The whole team knew this. And yes, they would have called me out on it. But, either out of pity for my sudden willingness to put the lives of several innocent people completely out of our hands, because they knew I wouldn't make this decision unless I was just _that_ desperate, or simply because there were no other feasible options available, they kept quiet. Yukari didn't want to keep quiet. It was obvious. The way she gripped her bow, the way her hand twitched at her Evoker, the insecure eyes, the quivering lips. And all these things reminded me of how much I had not changed.

I told myself to ignore the reminder. Five seconds after I had given the command to head out, they all ran to where their paths needed to take them. Elizabeth headed down into the darkness, riding atop the golden Kohryu while the blood-red Samael followed suit. Aegis was slightly apprehensive about the whole "leaving-me-behind" deal, but I eventually persuaded her to let me go.

Elizabeth was going to save those in the lower floors by herself. Ken, and Junpei were not Wild Cards, and so Aegis had to go along with them to bring in the firepower. Shinjiro, Akihiko, and Mitsuru all had experience under their belt, and they had the dog's savage nature as a side bonus. On my end, I had a Compendium packed with Personas ready to fight, while Yukari had a single Persona fit for healing. The teams were as organized as they could have been, in a situation like this. Fuka barked out directions to Mitsuru and Junpei's groups, Yukari watching them move on ahead in silence. She turned to me.

I lifted my head up, slightly, my tired eyes staring into her now ambiguously-expressioned ones. I pursed my lips and averted my gaze. I wanted to apologize. I could no longer ignore the reminder. Not when she was looking right at me. Not when she deserved better. I turned to her, resolute, _Surely I need to tell her that I_ \- I stopped when she nodded. Not timidly, not rapidly, but succinctly.

I paused. She opened her mouth in a ginger fashion before deciding to keep it shut, her eyes giving way to the sheer amount of apprehension she was trying so desperately hard to seal inside herself. It would have been better if she had decided to tell me just how much she did not want to stay here. She looked like she was accepting an invitation at Death's Door, one handed by me.

I wanted to apologize. I wanted nothing more but to say that I was sorry for almost putting Kaz's life in danger, but I realized that wouldn't be sincere. Because a big part of me still stubbornly believed that I had no choice. No, I didn't believe it, even - I just didn't want to live with the truth of what I had almost done. I averted my eyes and started moving, murmuring out a "Come on-"

I stopped talking. I turned and stared into my left hand, the one Yukari had taken into her palms. Mine was like sandpaper, I thought, compared to hers. Rough and dry, seasoned with years of forgotten tragedies. I then took a closer look at her hands, and discovered, to my surprise, that they appeared just as callused. Marks from the string of her bow had caused creases within her palms, and her nails were slightly bitten. "We're not leaving anyone behind."

And so arrived the foolish, idiotic, childish, naive, impossible-for-one-who-has-seen-as-much-as-I feeling that the hands wrapping themselves around mine were hands I wanted to hold for a lifetime. I wanted to say to her, reasoning that the Shadows were going to be the death of me regardless of my survival this night, "I love you." But I couldn't, and so I didn't, because I knew that concentration would then become an issue for her.

She maintained her grip on my hand for five seconds before holding it even tighter. I turned up to look at her, only to see her eyes focused on the hand she was holding. Her hands were shaking, now, and her formerly apprehensive eyes reverted back to their ambiguous state.

"I - promise," I stammered out, my voice cracking. "We'll do what's right. This time-"

 _=/= There's a Shadow coming down right above you-! =/=_

"Thor!"

Immediately, Thor's hammer met the Shadow, and it was at that moment that I realized exactly how large it was. The creature was flung about what appeared to be fifteen meters beyond Thor, and would have sunk into the darkness and left us well enough alone - but there were golden things underneath it emerging, flying, and coming right at me.

 _=/= Get out of the way! =/=_

"Makoto, no-!"

And I failed to dodge one of them, as it wrapped itself around my head. My screams and my thrashings about were futile, and everything turned black.

* * *

It was the Dark Hour. But I was no longer in Tartarus nor Monad. I was standing at the back of Port Island Station. And Ken was there, alone, with his spear, looking as if he was waiting for somebody. That somebody arrived. A looming figure with long hair flowing from beneath a thick, black beanie, Shinjiro emerged from the darkness, a grim look in his eyes and a suspicious stiffness to his legs.

Neither seemed to recognize me. I tried to move, but I couldn't - again. Once more, I was trapped, a viewer of what was definitely bound to be a horror show. My chest knotted as Ken gave a scowl and turned his voice cold.

"You came...," Ken said, his voice strained but somewhat _excited_. Shinjiro did not make a response to this, so Ken decided to continue on, "I'm surprised you abandoned the operation. Do you know why I asked you to meet me here? Two years ago today...October 4th. That was the day my mom died here. They called it an accident... but it wasn't. I saw the whole thing." He pointed his spear accusingly at Shinjiro, who didn't budge an inch, even at the hostile tone of voice Amada had taken on, " _You murdered her_!"

My heart fell from my chest, upon hearing this revelation. But as I was still processing this information, Shinjiro, despite everything, stayed as stone-faced and cold as ever. He stood his ground, not even flinching as Amada brought the blade of his spear closer to his neck. The blade was touching Shinjiro's Adam's apple, and yet my senpai remained like a gargoyle.

Unsatisfied with this reaction, Ken spat, "Since then, it's been one bad thing after another...and all I get from people is sympathy, no matter where I go. What's the point in living...?" The grip on the spear loosened somewhat before tightening to an even fiercer degree than before. "I even thought about killing myself...but Mom wouldn't have wanted that. That's why I decided that I had to find her killer - _you_!"

This couldn't have been real. I was just seeing things. This was just something the Shadows were doing to me _somehow_ \- _I, I can't - this can't be real. No. Where am I? How did I get here? Why am I seeing this!?_

I didn't understand how any of this was even happening. Nor did I want to find out. I wanted to get out of this - whatever this was. This was not going to end well for anybody involved. Ken's eyes were bloodshot and the look on his face was a look that I never wanted to see on a child. And Shinjiro seemed all too welcoming of this notion of dying at the hands of this little boy.

 _Wait. Calm down, Makoto. This...is probably just some illusion. This can't be real. Shinjiro and Ken were with you when you entered this miserable place, how could this be real-?_

* * *

 _"Years ago, we had another recruit. He was one of the most reckless Persona-users Akihiko and I had ever seen."_

* * *

 _...Wait. Oh, God, no._

* * *

 _"On October 4, 2007, a Shadow invaded the city. He went off to fight it, but...it overtook his mind."_

* * *

Without even thinking, in remembrance of the whole confrontation, I murmured out, "There was..."

* * *

 _"...one casualty."_

* * *

And then it a million things at once were all making sense now. _God, please, no, don't let this be true...!_

"You said once that you wanted to forget what happened on that day...," Ken growled. "So, when I found out it was a full moon today, I knew I had to confront you. Today, Mom is watching over me." Ken smiled my smile, the one I would have during a slaughter. "I'll make you remember what you did to her! I'm gonna _kill you_!"

Shinjiro still was unmoved at the sight of Ken readying his spear, as I tried to move with legs that weren't there and slap the spear out of Ken's grip with hands that weren't there, either. But what Shinjiro said next stunned me.

"Do it." At this, both Ken and I immediately tensed up, and I didn't even have a body to be tensed up with. "I won't stop you. You're right... I wanted to forget. That's why I left the group, and tried to suppress my power. But...," he turned his head to his feet and his stance loosened up considerably, "nothing I did could erase the memory...and now, I find myself here - the last place I want to be."

Ken's mouth dropped, and sweat was beginning to bead down his temple. But Shinjiro registered this not, and continued as if it was for his own sake. "It's my fault. This is what I deserve. But...let me give you one warning.

Ken was sick of people patronizing him, and he repeated in scorn, "'Warning...?'"

Shinjiro's eyes were hard. He said gravely, "If you decide to take my life, you'll end up like me. Just remember that."

Ken laughed a fake laugh in an attempt to keep himself calm and steel himself for what was bound to come. "Is that supposed to change my mind...?"

Shinjiro turned his back and closed his eyes. "Even if all you have now is hatred, one day you'll regret it.

Ken's expression contorted into hate. "Shut up! Th-that's a load of crap!" But I knew that he knew that Shinjiro was right.

Yet, somebody appeared to follow a different sort of logic. "He is correct."

Shinjiro and Ken both reacted in kind, turning cautiously to the sound of that cold, indifferent voice. Emerging from the darkness was a man without a shirt. His arms were wrapped in tattoos, and he had hair stretching all the way down to his shoulders. He had gleaming yellow eyes and a smile which was calm yet challenging, unfeeling yet taunting. He appeared slightly familiar, and then I recognized him as the man who had attempted to lock us in during our battle against the Chariot and Justice Shadows, during a past full moon.

 _Takaya._

"There is no reason for him to feel regret...that is the nature of revenge. Is it not permissible to kill those who are themselves killers?" His words echoed throughout Ken's being, but the boy simply shook and trembled at the sight of the man. Shinjiro grunted and glared at the vile presence smirking at them. "The loss of Chidori has posed a bit of a challenge for us...but, we cannot simply ignore your meddling." He pulled out a revolver, one that looked like it was a fifty-cal.,"Do not fear. This life is but a stepping stone. Salvation shall be yours..."

Shinjiro turned back to Ken, who was visibly shaken up by the fact that this frightening man was now pointing a freaking _elephant gun_ at the both of them - but more so at the tall, dishevelled young man who had the blood of an innocent on his hands. But said young man turned back to Takaya, not with fear, nor with rage - his mouth was a hard line, and his glare softened with uneasiness. "So...you're...?"

"You cannot defy fate. You shall die...whether or not it is at the hand of this boy," Takaya grinned. "You've been taking those pills for some time now...you don't have much longer."

 _Pills...pills...wait._ I remembered. Weeks ago. Akihiko, Shinjiro. They had spoken about pills. And...side effects. _Persona suppressants are...!?_

At this statement, Ken visibly shook. "What's he talking about!?

Shinjiro appeared... _anxious_? A rather acerbic expression painted Shinjiro's face, and I couldn't tell if he was freaking out or trying to kill both Ken and Takaya with his gaze alone.

"You know I speak the truth," Takaya laughed. "Your death is imminent."

"What does he mean...?" Ken lowered his spear and started dropping his gaze like he had lost all purpose. His skin turned pale, his eyes turned dead, and his knees turned into twigs. "You're going to die...? No matter what I do?" A biting expression crossed his face, and his despair soon turned into blind rage once more. " _That's not fair_! All this time! I've been _waiting_ for this!"

Takaya just continued spouting exorbitantly-worded statements that hammered in just how much Ken's struggle had been in vain. "The cause of death is not of importance. Besides, the breath of life is faint in you as well, child. After killing him, you were planning to join him, were you not?"

My eyes - if they were there - widened, and I turned to Ken, whose mouth couldn't form the words to speak. Shinjiro's face twisted from rage to sorrow to horror to sorrow again, and he closed his eyes before turning back to Ken, absolutely stricken with yet another unreadable expression. Viewing this expression brought Ken to tears as he brought his hands up to his face and staggered back, dropping his weapon.

 _Oh my God. Please, what is this?_

"Since you are both destined to perish," Takaya turned the pistol over to _Ken_ , "allow me to do the honors...a slight change in timing shouldn't matter too much."

And immediately, Shinjiro rushed over to Ken, and in a blur, a gunshot was fired. Red streaked the air and a pained scream howled throughout the night. Guts and blood flew out in abandon as the wound tore open his stomach and insides. Crimson and floppy things fell from Shinjiro's stomach as he lost his voice and started just laying there, on the ground, dying in agony.

I couldn't look away - it was as if I was viewing a car crash; it was horrible and unsightly, but I just couldn't part my eyes from it. I felt like I wanted to cry. I wanted this to just be some vision, but everything felt so vivid and real. The blood smelled like blood. The air was polluted with the stench of smoke, emerging from the barrel of Takaya's gun. There was a corpse there, in front of me, and it was my senpai's.

Ken, however, was safe. He had been pushed out of the way. But the blood seeping and pouring out from Shinjiro's lifeless corpse made the sight so much worse for him. Aragaki's eyes were without light, having faded. He had died before he had hit the ground. Ken did not react at all, a stony expression crossing his face. When reality hit him, he let out ahorrified scream into the night, and pushed himself backwards with his bare hands, before his back hit the wall.

Ken covered his face with his hands and wept. He keeled over, looking ready to vomit.

And all Takaya could do was muse on his gun. "This is a S&W 500. A fifty caliber magnum. It's the most powerful production handgun, and one of the few used to hunt African large game." And then he turned back to Ken. "Now then...with what life you have left, answer me this...there is one like Chidori among you, is there not? This has enabled you to locate and defeat those we wish to protect. Now tell me...which one of you is it?"

" _Ken_!"

I ran to put a stop to this.

* * *

"Get it off him!"

"It's stuck! Come on, get - off!"

I opened my eyes to find it staring at nothingness - a streak of blue seeped through a line, and I was hearing familiar voices shouting. I realized that something had been wrapped around my neck, my shoulders, my face, my head. Frantically, I pulled at it, until-

The sound of metal blasting apart and tech shutting down did wonders. Removing the clingy object from my form, I took in massive gasps of air while coming to the realization that, yes, I was in the Velvet Room again, and I wasn't necessarily alone.

I tore my eyes away from the golden spider-like corpse to find myself meeting Yukari's face again.

"Makoto...!" Her face was painted with worry, and upon seeing me again, that worry had been replaced with relief.

I only realized now that I had been sweating like a pig. That, and there were now what appeared to be _eleven_ blue doors, instead of the six I had seen before. "What happened...?"

"You were attacked. That Shadow beneath you had wrapped itself around you, and - and - I got to the door Miyamoto had been sent through, and the Shadow just...died on contact - _don't ever scare me like that again_ -!"

"Makoto! You're alive! Thank God!" Before I could even react, Kazushi - _still_ wearing his track uniform - got me in a bear hug.

"K-Kaz...!"

"Wait - oh, man," he tore himself away from me, "no offense, but dude, you stink."

I blinked. "Really, _that_ 's what matters to you right now?"

A scream sounded out from one of the blue doors in the Room, and we all turned to find that very same door closing shut.

"Huh...? H-huh!? Where...where am I now...!? Where the hell, where the hell, where the hell, where the hell...!?"

The person who had been thrown into the Room ( _and_ was now frantically looking in every direction and having a massive freak out), I recognized. "Kenji-?"

He turned to face me, and he looked like he'd aged a thousand years. He was wearing old-looking, plain yellow pajamas and his hair was messier than my room had been before I cleaned it up. "Makoto?" Kenji immediately recovered, getting himself up off his feet and right over to me, "Makoto!? Makoto - Makoto - what is going on here. Man. I'm like - I just saw a monster with freaking eyes on its eyes and nipples on its nipples! What is _happening_!?"

"W-we'll explain everything to you at the end of all this!" I told him. "We can't talk right now! I have to focus on getting the others out of here!"

"W-wait, - others!? You mean - there's more trapped in there!?"

"Kenji, you gotta calm down!" I told him this, even though I _knew_ it was a ridiculous notion. He had seen a Shadow for the first time in his life, and he didn't even have a Persona - of course, he'd freak out like he was. Considering how S.E.E.S. reacted to Thanatos, I'd have been surprised if he hadn't gone a little nuts. He seemed to share my sentiment.

" _What do you mean, calm down_!?"

"Kenji, dude!" Kazushi exclaimed. "Y-you're here, too? Man, this dream's getting weirder and weirder..."

"You think this is all just a dream?" Yukari cried in disbelief. And slight envy.

"K-Kaz!" Kenji walked over at a brisk pace to Kazushi, still not of sound mind. "How did - how'd any of us get here!?"

"Don't look at me! I-I just got here like five minutes ago!"

And suddenly, Yukari grabbed the terrorized boy by the scruff of his neck, and gave him a mighty slap right across his face. "We. Will explain. When all of this. Is over. Calm down."

And Kenji stopped talking, staring into Yukari's _very_ exhausted, _very_ tired-of-all-this eyes for five seconds before meekly looking at the ground and nodding.

"AAGH - _AAARRGH_!"

That new scream brought our attention to another door standing in the Room. One that had been open for a few seconds, again, before shutting up just as quickly. Flat on his back, this newcomer to the Room was someone I had defeated back then, in a particularly energetic Kendo tournament.

"H-Hayase!?" Tomochika screamed. "Y-you were in there, too!? Oh, man - your nose...!"

Mamoru Hayase was wearing a black undershirt with baggy pants. His nose was bleeding, and he looked drained of all energy. I didn't know why this was the case, and I frantically checked his body for any more injuries, but there didn't seem to be any more other than his nose, and so I was calmed slightly.

"Urgh...," Mamoru groaned, placing a hand over his nose in anger. "My head...what's...going _on_?"

Tomochika stammered, making his way over to the once-undefeated Kendo champion, "Y-you okay, man? I-I mean...well...uh..."

"Hayase, are you alright?"

Mamoru recognized my voice. He blinked and sighed, pushing himself up as slowly as possible. "Yuki...? Makoto Yuki...hey," he then sat himself up, "do you have any idea where we _are_...? Or...am I dreaming...?" He managed to stand upright by the time he had finished that statement.

Kazushi snorted. Yukari stroked her forehead. Kenji sighed gratefully and I told him, "No, I wish you all were, though."

Hayase stared at me blankly. "Maybe I've just gone crazy..."

"I certainly hope not...," Kenji told him. "That wouldn't be cool..."

I laid my hand on his shoulder and said, "You're not crazy, you were just in Hell for a bit. If you let me and her-" I pointed to Yukari "- take it from here, trust me, it'll all be okay."

"I don't think that makes it any better, really." He tiredly shook his head. "What's going _on_...?"

Yukari groaned. I told him, in her place, "We will explain _everything_ once this is all over. Right now, like I said, you, Kenji, and Kazushi all have to stay put in this place and wait for us. Because going out is a suicidal feat, unless you..." I widened my eyes and immediately checked for the Velvet Room door which led to Tartarus' lobby, hoping it would have been there. It wasn't. _Drat._

"Unless we what?" Kenji asked, freaking out again. "Unless we _what_!?"

"Had a plan, not gonna work, sorry about that," I succinctly explained. "J-just stay here. Yukari and I have to-"

Another door blasted open, and we all darted our eyes over to the new entrant. She was dropped unceremoniously from wherever she had been, a blue glove briefly showing itself to us. Wherever floor she had been in must have been cold, as a wind not unlike a blizzard's forced it's way through the open door and only stopped when Elizabeth shut it again.

I, Kenji, and Kazushi immediately ran over to the girl who had been dropped here; her skin was pale, she was wearing a simple nightgown, and she looked _far_ too different without her glasses.

"Fushimi...?" Kenji couldn't believe his eyes. "Why was she _in there_...?"

"You know this girl?" Mamoru asked him, quizzically looking at Chihiro.

"Sh-she's a student at our school...," I said to Mamoru. "She works with me in student council..."

"Wait, you're in student council, Makoto?" Hayase asked me.

"Well, yeah, but...doesn't really matter all that much now...," I mused, keeping my focus on Chihiro and checking for any injuries. Thankfully, there weren't any.

Kenji then blinked and turned to Mamoru, "Wait, since when'd you start referring to him by his first name? You both met, like, once. During a tournament. Which he beat you at."

Mamoru rubbed the back of his neck. "We hung out a couple...times...after..."

I reached out my hand to touch Chihiro's forehead, only to whisk it away reflexively. "She's _cold._ It's like she's been stuck in a freezer."

"You serious!?" Kazushi exclaimed. "Wh-what do we do!? What can we-!?"

"Remove your jacket!" Mamoru told him, and he followed.

Another door opened, and while this was a very good development - as people left and right were being saved - this whole thing with people barging in at inopportune times seemed kind of annoying.

"Oh, come on...!" Mamoru ran over to her before turning to Kenji, "You! Stay with _that_ girl! I'm going to help out with this one!"

"O-okay!"

Mamoru knelt down to tend to the new teleportee, and I followed him to check on the latest hostage. This new person wasn't cold, not like Chihiro. She had somewhat pale skin, dark hair, and a mole on her face. She was dressed in a black nightgown which had a bunch of spots on it as designs. That made her seem rather old-fashioned as well. She was still breathing, and still managing to sleep in. _Good thing Saori's okay._

But then she was slowly beginning to open her eyes. Hayase blushed slightly, maintaining his gaze. She awoke and brought her attention to the dark-skinned boy whose eyes were stuck on her. He, flustered, muttered an, "U-uh...you okay...?"

"What...?" she sat up and rubbed her eyes, "Where am I...?"

"That's a pretty long story...," I sighed.

"Yuki?" She turned to me. "Well...I guess I can wait - wait, what happened to your nose!?" she concernedly demanded, after having drifted her gaze over to Mamoru's bleeding nostril. "It - where'd you get that wound...?"

"I, uh..."

She placed her hand over his nose, "You might risk infection-! Wha-!?"

"H-huh!?" Green light flared up from the girl's fingers onto Hayase's nose, repairing it. Bit by bit, the wound started to disappear. In five seconds, it was gone completely. "How'd you...?"

"I...I don't know...," Hasegawa said, staring deep within the callouses of her hand.

I turned to Yukari. She was _just_ as horrified as I was. I put a hand to my mouth as I remembered, and when I remembered, I started losing it again.

"You're very welcome."

My eyes widened at the sound of that voice. _My_ voice. I turned. There he was. He stood imposingly in front of Igor, whose expression was hidden from view, his face buried within his folded hands.

Everybody turned to the new presence in the Room (although Kazushi seemed unenthused), unaware of what they could possibly do next. He stared at us with an unreadable expression with his hands behind his back. I gave a monstrous glare at the masked man and clenched my fists, Yukari visibly tensing up at my rage. " _You_."

"I advise you all to rest for the time being," he told us, mostly me and Yukari. "You all have a role you'll play tonight, and you need to be at your best."

Hasegawa asked Philemon, her eyes like saucers, her voice no louder than a whisper, and her eyes fixed upon Fushimi. "Did you...put us here, in this place?"

"Well, yes, but the Shadows had a part."

At that unfamiliar term, they were all back to not knowing a thing. "'Shadows-' what does that mean?" Mamoru groaned. "What is any of this-?"

"Shadows are perversions. They are the stains humanity leaves upon the subconscious world, born of malice, lust, pride, and the like. They are abominable monstrosities that threaten this very world. And I have given you all the power of Persona to help achieve the goal of ridding the Earth of them."

At this, they all reacted in varying yet similar ways.

Hayase just gave a frown and shook his head, unable to find a reply to what Philemon had just told him yet unwilling to simply remain silent. He balled his hand up into a fist - like me - not knowing exactly _how_ to feel. All he knew was that the situation was getting stranger and stranger. Kenji's terror faded into confusion and mental disarray. At the mention of "Shadow," though, he had seemed fairly unsettled.

Saori spoke up daringly, surprising (and impressing, by the looks of it) Mamoru, "So, then..." She stood up on trembling knees, still trying to process everything that had been thrust upon her. "How did these 'Shadows' bring us _here_?"

"Kidnapping, simply put," Philemon told her. "It is a complex thing to think of; it involves rifts in-between planes of existence. It will be too long to explain. The point is, you have been kidnapped from your homes and placed here by the Shadows in order to be hostages."

"What do you mean, 'hostages!?'" Kenji shouted. "Why would they need _us_ to be hostages!?"

"Because they know who is going to rescue you," Philemon replied, his smug eyes trained on my furious ones. "You see, there are others before you whom I had given the power of Persona to. One of them is by far a particularly _exceptional_ user. He not only has the power to control multiple Personas, but also demonstrates a will to fight not many humans can replicate. You all know him. And he knows all of you. That is why you are here." The situation was beginning to dawn on them, breaking them, making them cold, but Philemon continued on, "There are other human beings trapped within the tower at this very moment. Others who know him, like you. One of them is a little girl no older than ten." That just drove a knife into their hearts. "And he cannot overcome this alone. Even as he fights alongside companions just as experienced in combat as he, he cannot succeed. That...is where you all come in."

"Okay, you're just raising even more questions-"

"He wants us to fight...," Kenji interrupted Mamoru. "Didn't you see those...monsters...?"

Mamoru looked confused for a second. And then confusion gave way to remembrance. Remembrance gave way to fear. Fear grew into terror, and terror was where he stayed. He turned to me, "You know what he's talking about. You said you and that girl over there-" he nodded over to Yukari, "-would fix everything. You're...fighting those monsters...?" I averted my gaze, unable to say anything in response.

Except this. "I'm the one who can control multiple Personas."

Kazushi raised an eyebrow, "What...is a _Persona_...?" And then a dark-skinned girl fell, from yet another door, right across from him. She was wearing purple pajamas and striped socks. Her hair, which would often be seen as a bun, was now flowing freely. She, aside from a slight bruise on her cheek, was fine. And unconscious. "Y- _Yuko_!"

"I suppose I should show you what a Persona is. After all, you've earned that right."

"You _monster_ -!"

Mamoru got up, off the ground, and turned to me. His eyes were similar to mine on bad days. "Okay, would you _please_ tell us what's going on!? Where are we!? What happened to us!? Where are our families!? Our friends!? Why...?" Mamoru's voice then turned, from accosting to pleading. "Please...where are we...?"

Kenji and Saori turned to Mamoru, surprised by his sudden outburst. But they, too, were thinking the same thing. I knew they were. They then placed their eyes on me; accusatory eyes, but at the same time questioning. I closed my eyes. I didn't want them to know. But Philemon had other plans.

"Out there is a time that should not exist. It lies in-between each day, a silent transition. During this Dark Hour, the moon turns a bright and sour yellow. The skies turn green, like dead grass. Water turns into blood. And normal human beings turn into coffins." They all looked at Philemon like he was spouting nonsense, but sensibly, Mamoru looked like he realized that with everything that he had seen within this short amount of time, it couldn't have been _infeasible_ , what was being spoken.

"Wait, s-so, they're literally coffins?" Kenji asked him, still unable to shake all the strangeness of the situation off. "Actual, like - _really_ , coffins?"

"Standing upright," he replied calmly. "Thankfully...I've made it such that you people aren't normal human beings anymore."

Hayase blinked. He then took a step back, minimally shaking his head before asking, "What...have you done to us?" On his face was a textbook example of forced composure.

"Those who can enter this Hour are capable of summoning creatures straight from their psyches. These creatures are called Personas."

"So...these...Personas are from our minds?" Hasegawa asked, if only to help clear things up.

"And your souls," he told her. "Think of a Persona as a mask you wear to shield you as you brave hardships in the world. Everything you are - your thoughts, your feelings, your unconscious desires, your conscious desires - all of it, is encapsulated into a Persona. For example."

Blue cards blared into being from above Yuko and Chihiro.

" _AAGH_ \- what!?" Kazushi pushed himself out of the way in response to the sudden glowing card floating down onto Yuko. Hasegawa, unsure of how to react, simply stared in an act of fairly morbid curiosity at the card making its way down to Chihiro.

I couldn't stop what was to happen. Rather than slowly, the cards were falling at a particularly quick rate. The cards then shattered.

"What-!?"

Bright blue surrounded both Chihiro and Yuko as their eyelids pried open to reveal blank white. They convulsed for half a second, having had something akin to a seizure in that brief moment of time - a moment that, despite their best attempts, did not go unnoticed by the people in the room.

Soon, the two whom Philemon had given new Personas rose up from the ground, their limp bodies being carried into the air by an invisible current, the blue lights coursing all around them. After the bodies had risen to a height of three feet, Chihiro and Yuko's true selves emerged.

Out of the Justice's skull emerged a being dressed majestically in a simple white robe, one that glowed with a fire that was so bright these new recruits of mine had to shield their eyes. Yet, the smallest glimpses they could catch of the Persona were glimpses upon one of the most _achingly_ beautiful creature that had ever come to the world. I voiced my aggravation with the brightness by giving a loud but brief exclamatory noise, but the Persona paid no heed to my cries and introduced itself. _**"Thou art I, and I am thou. From the sea of thy soul, I cometh. I am Eirene, the Hand of Paradise."**_

Out of the Yuko's head came a woman with golden skin and golden hair. Her blue eyes were surrounded by a silver mask with wings decorated on its sides. She had light armor on, but looked fit for battle nonetheless, as she was dual-wielding two silver blades. Her white cloak billowed in the wind as the flaming steed she was on gave a triumphant neigh. _**"Thou art I, and I am thou. I come from the sea of thine soul, and I hail myself as Valkyrie! Hand of the Forgotten Dead!"**_

And then the two creatures vanished. As quickly as they had come. Their masters then fell to the ground, the others in the room being too stunned to catch them or being too preoccupied with trying to save the people trapped within the tower.

" _Those_ are Personas. I've given each of you one, and it is completely up to you on whether or not you would wish to use them. I highly recommend that you do so, but not right now. You all need to rest. I will let you out at a proper time."

"That's what you've done to us...?" Mamoru could only murmur out. "You...to all of us, you...?" Saori and Kenji, having gotten over the initial shock of seeing Personas for the first time, went over to the two bodies in the room. Hayase glared at him and continued, "Where are we _now_? What is this place?"

"This is the Velvet Room. It is a room which exists between dream and reality, mind and matter. But beyond this, is Tartarus. The Tower of Demise. The Land of the Condemned. Where Men Enter Alive, and Return Dead."

"I hate you." I said that, and it echoed throughout the place. Everyone was stunned at my statement. I was just absolutely pissed off, and I didn't care who knew it.

"There is no choice," he stoically, monotonously interrupted me. "You know not what will occur when you reach your final battle against the Shadows. You will need all the help you can get."

"I am _not_ going to let you do this to them!" I screamed, to which he scoffed in disbelief.

"You, of all people, should know that you cannot rely on virtue to win a war! Do you know how much blood you have sacrificed to get to this point? How many injuries you and your friends have received? Would you like to know the _decades_ by which your lives have shortened? If you had no healing Personas, the only things holding you together would be bandages and staples and _tape_."

"You shut the hell up right now-"

"You have no right to berate me on my own morally ambiguous deeds when people have fallen into comas because of you! Just minutes ago, you were willing to zap your friend with a lightning bolt from _Thor_! You don't care about right or wrong. All that matters to you is keeping blood off your hands. And that is a useless effort, because your hands have been drenched in gore for _ten long years_."

"Because of _you_!" I ran up to him and punched him right in the face, to which he fell to the ground.

"Makoto, whoa!"

"Oh, no."

"Dude!"

"Yuki!"

"You _ruined_ my life!" I screamed.

"Without me, you wouldn't even _have_ one!" he spat back.

"I'd _rather be dead_ than live with the crap you put me through!" I grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and choked him. "You terminated my sister from time itself! You drafted me into a freaking war! You decided what would happen to me since day one, and had me put up with whatever you wanted to throw at me next because I would have grown stronger! And now, you _dare_ -!?"

" _You_ chose to fight in this war," he calmly told me. And I froze. So he continued. "You were given the choice, remember? To fight the Shadows or not...you chose to because you wanted to avenge your family. But later on, you wanted to just avenge yourself. Do _not_ attempt to tell me that you had no choice." Unable to think of anything to say back to him, I let him go. Breathing heavily, I hung my head low, uncaring of all who were watching me. He coughed. "Your sister would have ended everything, had I not intervened. There are things much larger than you or even I, Makoto Yuki. You think you've seen everything? No. You've seen less than a millionth of what the Sea of Souls has in store. In fact, you've seen only half of what the Shadows have in store for you _tonight_."

My eyes widened. "What...?"

"Allow me to show you just how small you are."

He snapped his fingers.

* * *

 _She was now in a land of lava. All around her were molten red liquids pouring out from holes in the rocky walls, burning waterfalls spraying down onto floors made of gold and steel. The fumes would have not harmed anyone, really - if a human were to inhale them, the only real repercussion would be nightmares for the next fifteen days. Nightmares which would become progressively worse and worse per day._

 **"You're here?"**

 _Elizabeth stared at him. She took in a deep breath and let out an intense exhale. She was staring down a naked man, her height. He had long, platinum-blonde hair, and his face was concealed by a black, featureless mask. He had dark veins popping up all over his body. And he was carrying a glowing, gray-haired young boy with a tired scowl on his sleeping face._

"Please...stop," _she begged pitifully._ "You don't have to do this. Philemon let me here so that we could retrieve you..."

* * *

"I had made a deal with Elizabeth," he said to us. "Aiding you wasn't the only objective she had at the moment. She had another - one which held top priority for her. I had allowed her to do this, precisely to retrieve _him_. This prodigal son of the Room."

* * *

 **"Hmph. If he had cared from the start, none of this would have happened,"** _he growled._

"It wasn't his fault...he had no choice, but to...," _she held back the tears,_ "please, come home. If you do, we'll...we'll...you - you shouldn't be like this. He'll kill you."

 **"Philemon's already lost-"**

"I wasn't talking about Philemon!" _she yelled, grabbing him by the shoulders._ "You are hurting his friends. You haven't seen him - the things he's capable of. At this point, he's-!"

 _He slapped her hands away,_ **"Let him kill me. In the end, will it matter if he does or does not?"**

"I can't let you do this! You have to let his friends go free! If you don't - you'll never be able to-!"

 **"I don't want redemption!"** _he bellowed._ **"From Philemon...a blessing is the same as a curse. He'll take away your champion as well. You know this. And yet you follow him, like the dog you are."**

"Please...!" _Elizabeth wept, putting her book to her mouth,_ "Don't do this...! Don't make him destroy you!"

 _He laughed, taking pleasure in seeing her tears fall._ **"Not even for _me_ , would you sacrifice your status as a lackey of humanity. How utterly predictable of you, sister."**

* * *

I widened my eyes and repeated that last word. " _Sister_...?"

Philemon said in response, "Theodore. That was his name. He had once been an assistant of Igor's, like Elizabeth. He'd been meant to aid Hamuko Yuki in her journey, just as Elizabeth had been sent to aid you in yours. However, the most peculiar thing had happened. Foolishly, he had asked requests of the fragile-minded girl. It was his form of compromise; to provide social support whilst still remaining true to the boundaries set by the Velvet Room."

The implications hit me, and my eyes widened like saucers. "Oh, no."

"However, he had never intended for budding feelings for the girl to enter his heart. He'd begun to love her, despite her growing insanity, and he had wanted to save her from the horrors she had endured and had been about to endure. But under me, he couldn't find in himself the courage to rebel."

I turned to him in horror, my chest hollowed out. "I see."

"It was when I'd had her erased from time that he had snapped. Selling himself to one whose name I dare not mutter. And now, he is on a higher plane than even the two Shadows who had placed your friends in this precarious situation."

* * *

"Theodore, please!" _she cried._ " _Brother_!"

 **"If you are not willing to stand by me, then break."**

 _A whirring noise erupted from Theodore, and a blinding explosion enveloped the landscape. Elizabeth screamed out, and the boy Theodore carried_ vanished _-_

* * *

The vision ended.

"That was Odagiri-senpai!"

"Is he dead-!?"

"Oh, no. God, please. What is this!?"

I begged Philemon, " _Is he dead_?"

But he did not answer me. Instead, opting to give more diatribes. "I was and still am a harsh being. I admit this. I do what must be done, when it must be done. I do not permit empathy. The fluctuations within the Sea may have had something to do with this - I had never been this impersonal to previous guests. Even to the Sun of Souls...despite the events surrounding him which I had played a hand in. The Velvet Room residents are very much like children; and Igor and I, their weary caretakers. The most innocent out of the three siblings was Theodore, the youngest one."

I hunched over, my hand on my mouth. Absolutely terrified.

"He'd always had this awkwardness - this innate sense of wonder which was easily exploitable by his sisters. Theodore's eyes, while very sleek and sharp, had a sort of guileless shine to them. His hair had always been slicked back to show his forehead, and it was painfully obvious that he did this to look, in his words, 'impressive.' He'd fumbled about with words when nervous or excited, attempt a show at intelligence when it would instead show his naivete, and was well-versed in making exceptionally eloquent pieces of poetry - mostly ones about love. His sisters were as enthralled by the idea of love as he had been."

Everyone else began looking terrified as well. The situation of how dead we all were became apparent, in all its finality.

"Love was something he had craved - he was in no hurry to find it, however the mere thought of it would take him. The passion one would feel solely for the purpose of an ideal, the intense ordeals lovers would end up facing which would lead to their bond becoming ever stronger, the will and effort to strive for another's happiness even at the cost of your own - this is what Theodore was so enraptured by. He knew not that for even as love crowns you, so he shall crucify you."

And just like that, the situation became a trillion times worse. I stared at Yukari, who couldn't stop her eyes from moving all over the place. Her eyes then met mine, and we speechlessly just looked at each other for the longest time. The situation had gotten a lot more complicated.

* * *

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

* * *

REMOVED FUKA'S INVOLVEMENT EARLIER DUE TO PLOT HOLEZ


	3. Philemon: Arcana CHAOS, Part II

Her mind was just full of questions.

That girl with the yellow eyes - who was she? That man with the mask - the enigmatic blue doors, what were they? He seemed to be at the very least familiar with them all. But she cast all her concerns aside for another time, because he didn't seem in the mood to answer any kind of question. She just now stared at him in fear. Like she would often catch herself doing. This time, she wasn't even trying to hide it.

He wasn't livid, like she had expected him to be in this kind of situation. He was tense, yes, but then who could blame him? He opened his mouth, and his lips quivered, but he clamped it shut again and averted his gaze. His shoulders slumped, and his eyes were just...hollow. He looked trapped. The more cynical side of her dismissed his disposition as fake, but the more loving side of her couldn't bear to see him like this.

Suddenly, he started moving and muttered, "Come on-" in a voice too weak and hoarse to be his, and at that, she couldn't just _stand there_ and made her way to him, softly gripping his left hand. She kept her eyes on his, and he looked both surprised and confounded at what she had just done.

She had wondered for a time why she couldn't just leave him to his own woeful self anymore - and now, the answer was as clear as day. This boy - this temperamental yet stone-faced, psychotic yet caring, powerful yet _empty_ boy - she had understood him not, for the longest time. And now, she did. His misdeeds were not justified because of this - not in the slightest. She knew this - he was certainly not _blameless_ in the matter of placing Narukami in a coma.

But she understood now - _now_ , more than ever - that he knew this truth as well, and hated himself for what he had done.

She noticed the wear and tear on his palm and fingers - aged, creased, decorated in little lines - his hand resembled that of a war veteran. Her hands had little difference from his, she realized, and then she managed out a solemn, "We're not leaving anyone behind."

A little, ragged gasp emerged from Makoto's mouth. It was quiet, unnoticeable to any who weren't good at paying attention to detail - even he didn't hear it. She did. His eyes softened, and just for an inkling of a second, she saw, right in front of her, a human being who was desperately trying to keep despair from swallowing him. When the moment faded, he reverted back to his stoic facade, and she tightened her grip on his hand.

And so arrived the stupid, untrue, pathetic, manipulative, only-seen-in-children's-books-and-movies feeling that she had once believed she couldn't possibly have for _someone like him_ \- in full force.

"I - promise," he stumbled in his words, his voice betraying his fear. "We'll do what's right. This time-"

 _=/= There's a Shadow coming down right above you-! =/=_

"Thor!"

Makoto's iron will returned and he called out his Persona's name with a voice powerful enough to bend steel. His sudden change from borderline broken to terrifyingly commanding took her by complete surprise - and before she knew it, a blow from Thor's hammer had saved both her and him from being crushed by the new Shadow.

But she couldn't react in time to the golden things emerging from the underbelly of said Shadow - and how one of them had wrapped itself around Makoto's head.

She didn't hear Yamagishi's yell, only managing out a terrified, "Makoto, no-!"

* * *

 **PHILEMON: ARCANA CHAOS, PART TWO.**

* * *

"Whoa...wait, what...?"

He stirred and darted his eyes everywhere, obviously perplexed at the sight of the massive elevator he had been transported to. Igor then decided to pleasantly introduce himself, as he always did, as I stood behind Miyamoto. "Welcome to the Velvet Room, my dear young man. My name is Igor. I am delighted to make your acquaintance."

Miyamoto blinked in confusion, tilting his head slightly. "The Velvet...what?"

Igor repeated what he had told Makoto Yuki months ago, keeping that same jovial tone of voice he'd always had, "This is a realm between dream and reality. Mind, and matter. You will be staying here until my master has decided to send you out."

Taken aback with the rather verbose vocabulary, Miyamoto rubbed the back of his head and reiterated what he had managed to gather from Igor's statement, "This...is a dream, then?"

"Yes." Blunt was Igor's response. Signalling my turn to respond to the newest infantryman.

"Well...uh...this place looks neat. I, uh, guess - you sure this is a dream?" The Chariot couldn't have been more confused. But, confusion slowly began giving way. "'Cause...it...feels like it is, but it isn't - _what is going on where am I holy_ -"

I cleared my throat, "Kazushi Miyamoto, I have a question to ask."

"Huh-? Who's -!?" He turned to me, surprised at the sudden presence in the room looking just like him. "Wait...why do you look like _me_?"

"Because I am you," I responded simply. "And as your self, I need to ask you a question."

Of course, he responded not with any form of immediate acceptance to the ridiculousness of all of this. "Wait...what _is_ this? What's going on here-?"

"How would you like to save the world?"

Kazushi Miyamoto was nothing, if not a challenger. Once, battle had not been a matter of life and death, but sport, to one such as he. This, he had always known...until recently. Until the man he had called his brother had opened his eyes. But this was all a dream, he believed. A dream without a wounded leg to keep him subdued. He smiled at the prospect of this. "...This dream is starting to sound pretty awesome."

"It won't be a dream soon enough. It'll be a nightmare."

He became confused. "What are you talking about-?"

Suddenly, somebody barged in the Room, through one of the extra doors.

"Wait, what-!?"

What appeared to be an oversized, mechanical, golden arachnid of some sort wrapping itself around a teenager's body appeared, making muffling noises as it crashed to the ground and thrashed about.

"Help me," a female voice suddenly uttered, bringing Miyamoto out of his shock. He recognized that voice - the voice of Makoto's girl!

"T-Takeba-?"

" _Help me_!" she screamed at him, "It's stuck, I can't get it off!"

"Wha - okay! Uh, hmm." He really had no idea what to do, except pry at it.

The Lovers had assumed that the being strangling Makoto at the moment would have fallen apart or at least shut down upon nearing proximity to the Velvet Room - like how the tendrils that had surrounded Miyamoto had entreated upon the arrival of the Velvet door - and she was right. However, the creature was too stubborn to die at the moment. But it was going to die, and I estimated its death was to be in five - no, ten seconds.

"Get it off him!"

The Chariot had his hands on the creature, now - "It's stuck! Come on, get - off!"

The sound of metal blasting apart and tech shutting down. The steel spider made a small burst of an explosion before dying from being in the Room.

Four seconds. Almost got that right.

Takeba had undergone a freakout when Makoto was ingloriously put out of commission, and to see him pry the mechanical cretin off of his own body - him breathing like he had been underwater for extended periods of time - was more than a relief to her. "Makoto...!" She had almost slapped him silly in anger born of worry, but decided against it, remembering that he had gone through enough at this point.

Makoto murmured, his eyes on all the doors suddenly in the Room, "What happened...?"

Happy that her friend was _not_ strangled to death yet at the same time _livid_ , Takeba replied, "You were attacked. That Shadow beneath you had wrapped itself around you, and - and - I got to the door Miyamoto had been sent through, and the Shadow just...died on contact-" then she just became livid, the "happy" part disappearing, "- _don't ever scare me like that again_ -!"

"Makoto! You're alive! Thank God!" Of course, Miyamoto was glad to find that he wasn't alone in this awesome dream of his. Now, he had a companion by his side! A sidekick! Someone to aid him in this awesome journey to save the world! Naturally, like the hero he was, he wrapped his companion in a tight hug, securing his own role as compassionate leader.

"K-Kaz...!"

"Wait - oh, man," he then suddenly tore himself away from Makoto, "no offense, but dude, you stink."

Makoto blinked in disbelief. "Really, _that_ 's what matters to you right now?"

* * *

The two groups had split up. Iori's group had stayed on the upper parts of the spinal-cord bridge, while Kirijo's group had gone to the lower half.

"Wha-!? Kenji!"

The Magus's shout brought the boy and the android to a halt. The latter turned right. It saw a blue glow suddenly emerge into view, and bathed in said blue glow was a classmate of theirs who had a fondness for older women. Unconscious and shivering. Behind him stood a luminous, ominous blue door.

And he was on yet another floating skull, across from the end of a gigantic rib.

"Kenji!" Iori then stared running over to his classmate, but then - "What!?"

A giant butterfly was now swooping down upon them. It had a long, gangly, three-pronged tail, thousands of human eyes on its face, antennae wrapped in barbed wire - and in the place of where spindly black legs would normally be, hawk talons were. And it was really, _really_ fast. "Oh, come on-!"

Before anyone else could say anything in response, the android downed their heads while it did the same.

 _=/= It's weak to fire and physical attacks! Resists everything else! =/=_ the detector cried. She had worried over Makoto earlier, but since Takeba had sent him through the blue door - a supposed haven - she put her concerns for another time. Of course, she was freaking out, but - there were other things at hand that were important.

Makoto would have prioritized saving the others' lives. All she could do was trust that the Elizabeth woman's arrival was good, and Makoto seemed to think so. That...had to be good enough for her.

"Aegis-!"

"Iori-san, Amada-san, I suggest you both keep your heads down," she said, as its Persona split open its helmet to unleash an overly-massive machine gun.

"Oh, sh-!"

Deafening rattling noises drowned out any other sound in the room - with the exception of the loud, pained cry emitted by the monster fired at. _Still_ managing to fly, though, the giant butterfly was alive, but severely wounded. Black blood escaped its many perforations, but it slowly began rising on broken taloned feet, its giant, twenty-foot wingspan exposing holes and gaps that were giving out smoke and hissing with burns.

Junpei cursed, remembering how tough these Shadows were and why Makoto had prioritized getting everyone to safety. He brought the boy to the side and hid by a large, bony ridge along the spinal cord they were still on.

"Ken! Throw that guy through the door!" Iori ordered as the android was still managing to fire into the giant butterfly, which was now "flying" in place due to the android's Persona drilling right into it. "Aegis and I'll keep you safe!"

"B-but what if I don't make the jump!?" Amada was unaware that the giant butterfly was now falling into the lower floors - not dead, of course.

"Just _go_! You'll be fine! I promise! I said I'd keep you safe! Use your Persona!"

"I-Iori-senpai-!"

"Listen to me, you're not a kid anymore!" Iori grabbed Ken by the shoulders and shouted that in his face. "None of us are kids anymore! This is all grown-up stuff we signed on for, Amada! We all gotta take a risk! No one ever said this job was easy!"

The boy was crying now. "Senpai, _I'm scared_!"

Regret filled Iori's heart as he realized that he was chastising a ten-year-old for being scared during a life-and-death situation. But he pressed on, "So am I! But things right now aren't the way we want them to be, and it can't just be fixed with the snap of a finger!"

I snapped my fingers.

A blue light flashed from above the boy's body. Iori looked up to find a glowing blue card fluttering down onto the Magician. And Tomochika's eyes suddenly widened. They exposed nothing but white in the place of pupils, unnerving the Magus.

A being with a white cloak flashed above the Magician for a split second before Fuka cut in, _=/= From behind Tomochika-san! Th-there's something coming! It's weak against-! =/=_

It arrived and bit down on the being with the white cloak, destroying it before it could truly form. Tomochika let out a mangled scream, his eyes returning to normal.

"Kenji!" Iori exclaimed in terror - and before his brain was able to even process a description of its form, Junpei had Hermes fire a blast of flame at the small creature chomping down on his friend's true self.

It didn't _kill_ the thing, but it did drive it off Tomochika's body - even sending it down the butterfly's path. Iori was lucky the flame had made it that far. Lucky, and grateful.

" _Ken, make the jump now_!" Junpei roared.

"I-I don't know if I can-!"

"No time! Just _go_! You can do it!" Iori sometimes understood why Makoto would do things so drastically life-threatening to others - it was _so much_ easier to do. Makoto would have just thrown the boy to the skull.

But, fortunately, Iori did not have to do that.

Ken Amada had seen things no child should ever have seen, endured things no child should ever have endured, and experienced feelings that he should have been too young to even know were real. Yet, he was a Persona-user, so all those things were little more than standard procedure. He had chosen this life; I had simply given him a nudge in this direction.

He was terrified, having now realized that looking down from the giant bony bridge was a _massive_ mistake. But he also knew that not making this jump would be a bigger, more painful one. He stared down at the barrel of his gun in fear and hesitation - not too long ago, had he considered committing murder-suicide. The more deathly implications of his role as a Persona-user became ever more apparent.

Seeing his senpai in action troubled him massively. That was why he had decided to give up his petty grudge on Aragaki. And it was exactly _why_ -

"Persona!"

-he needed to do this.

 _=/= There's another one! A-and it's...! Oh... =/=_

And just in time, because something massive and truly, remarkably strange was marching on the bone bridge, coming right for the three of them. The sound of a stampede reigned supreme, and a cacophony of trumpets sounded out the arrival of this new foe. It was remarkable that the bone bridge had not shaken in the slightest under the weight of this creature's heaving, thundering steps.

"What the...?"

Junpei didn't hear the Magician awaken. He didn't hear Tomochika's scream, nor did he see the boy's extremely exhausted and mortified expression upon successfully making the jump to the skull - with Nemesis' help.

"F-Fuka!?" Junpei called out, over Tomochika's screams, "Weaknesses on this thing!?"

 _=/= It can resist damage against physical attacks and elemental attacks. It's only vulnerable to light and dark attacks. =/=_

Junpei and the android just readied themselves, hoping to make the strange creature they were now battling die as quickly as possible. "Come on, give us a break here..."

The new creature in question was about as tall as two storeys. A pillar-like creature, it had a beehive for flesh and six elephantine legs with which it lumbered around violently. It had several thousand eyes all over its form, and within those eyes appeared to be more eyes. Imagine those little plastic bags containing goldfish - except now instead of a single goldfish taking up space, there were thousands of eyeballs, with a singular moving pupil over all of them.

Its golden skin had gross pustules and wart-like growths popping in and out in a seemingly never-ending cycle, reverberating constantly and sending ripples throughout its form. On what could be described as its back were sixteen hose-like structures resembling elephant trunks, except mechanical and bronze. They emitted smoke, blaring out a noisy, incoherent screech that sounded like angels being strangled.

It had tentacle-like formations on the top of its form, and on the ends of its tentacles were thousands of fingers. Somehow - _somehow_ \- the bridge was not giving way, underneath its mass. The creature marched forward, the bone bridge remaining as still as ever.

Amada simply made his way over to the screaming Magician and told him, "If you wanna wake up from this nightmare, _go through the door_!" before pushing him with all the strength someone of his age and stature could muster.

Which was a surprising amount.

 _=/= Push it off the bridge! =/=_

"Palladion!"

Red blood sprayed from the giant monstrosity as the android's Persona drilled into the Pillar, mortifying an already-stressed out Magus before he could even summon his own Persona.

The creature, despite being drilled into, was not expressing any pain - it was not wailing in agony, nor was it thrashing about. Its millions of eyes simply stared at the android's Persona in seeming disbelief. However, to make it bleed was a tertiary objective. Fulfilling the primary objective was going to be a much bigger hassle.

Iori, however, saw the android's struggle, and had his own Persona aid in the effort to topple the Pillar. Even this was not enough. The Pillar remained unamused, and looked like it was waiting for something interesting to happen. But then, the Pillar itself decided to do something interesting of its own accord, seemingly bored at this meaningless conflict.

In a sweeping motion, it used ten out of its seeming hundreds of tentacles to knock the Personas away from it. Iori's Persona was not strong enough to withstand the blows and was swept aside. The android's Persona remained steadfast. Despite being rather damaged from the attack.

Iori's spine and shoulders were in terrible pain, but he grit his teeth and was fully prepared to have Hermes return and aid the android - however!

A bright circle of light flared up from the side of the Pillar. The side currently being drilled into by the android's Persona.

"Aigis! Get your Persona outta there right now!"

The android followed orders, and the Pillar looked puzzled for an instant. Before a burning sensation hissed away at its flesh, and it realized the magnitude of what was to happen to it-

" _Hama_!"

Before the Pillar could even move, an explosion of white burst from its side, and it let out a cry of extreme, immense pain. Elemental attacks indeed had no effect on the creature, and neither did physical ones. The boy's Persona, Nemesis, was capable of such feats like light attacks. Which was a mighty help indeed.

Streaks of blinding, searing light flashed from the beast's form, its bellow of agony descending into the cries of madness. The android and the Magus took this as a chance to strike, and their Personas dashed forward, preparing to topple the tilting behemoth in front of them.

"Good job, Ken!" Iori exclaimed, feeling adrenaline rush through his form.

* * *

Just as quickly as the door opened, the door closed, and Kenji Tomochika was now under the defense of the Velvet Room.

"Huh...? H-huh!? Where...where am I now...!? Where the hell, where the hell, where the hell, where the hell...!?"

 _What was that where am I is this a dream God what is this someone help me someone save me I just can't break free they smell my brains what is going on-!?_

Tomochika's subsequent mental breakdown after seeing that particularly strange Shadow was understandable, if amusingly erratic. Makoto, however, was not so amused. "Kenji-?"

"Makoto?" The terrified young boy immediately jumped and dashed to the first person he could feasibly recognize in this whole mess, "Makoto!? Makoto - Makoto - what is going on here. Man. I'm like - I just saw a monster with freaking eyes on its eyes and nipples on its nipples! What is _happening_!?"

* * *

Mitsuru Kirijo sighed. She wiped the black blood off of her rapier with impatience; there were still other people stuck on the floor, and that Elizabeth woman had disappeared without a trace. She didn't like putting her faith in people she had never met before, but seeing as how things were just _that bad_ and how the woman and Makoto had some sort of a connection - _and_ how the latter seemed rather "enthusiastic" to have her join the team - she had no choice but to ask questions later.

Not helping matters was her incrementally-increasing mental exhaustion. To save time and resources, Yamagishi had been left to observe both Yuki's and Iori's groups, while she would use Penthesilea's detecting abilities for her own...and the process had been wearing her out. Stress seemed to be a factor in weakening her Persona's abilities. She was level-headed enough (a life under Takeharu Kirijo did that to you), but she wasn't an android. She was beginning to thaw under the pressure, and she knew it.

The door nearest to her group was about what looked like a few dozen meters away - on what appeared to be a gargantuan coccyx. It was the end of the bridge, but there was nothing beyond but a wall of meat. But right now, while they could, they had to take a breather. No use in rescuing civilians if you're too tired to rescue them. She and her companions hung around a ridge of bone from the gigantic spine, the skulls aimlessly floating around them now just as easily dismissed as birds in the sky would be. There were no rib-like protrusions with which they could stand on or leap to another skull on.

All they had was this single portion of a massive and ridiculously long bridge - basically, they were sitting ducks. They had no choice but to be.

"You okay?" Akihiko asked Kirijo, Shinjiro having a coughing fit behind him as the dog curiously wiped the black gunk off of his snout, resting snugly on the vertebrae.

"Akihiko, don't ask that question when it's obvious what the answer is," she responded, not removing her eyes from the blade as the napkin she had brought with her became progressively darker in color.

Akihiko decided not to give a response of his own to that. He turned to Shinjiro, "How're you holding up?"

Shinjiro briskly nodded, a hand on his mouth and an annoyed look in his grey eyes.

Akihiko was dismayed. The effects from the suppressants were still showing prominently. He _still_ had to endure long coughing fits, and his spine was arching inward more and more by the day - although that part was partially due to his friend's overall gloomy disposition. However, the fact that his friend had continued wearing the _same_ dark, heavy coat during summer was a sure sign of his body temperature being unable to regulate itself. For, no matter how depressed a person could be after a mistake, one would _not_ wear a dark, thick coat as Shinjiro did during the _summer_.

Shinjiro himself felt worse than he had felt in a long time. The skin around his stomach had gotten pale in the morning, and remained a pale color even up till now. There was this terrible itching feeling he had around his shoulder blades, like insects crawling inside his flesh. He felt intensely cold in the chest, and his left index finger was slowly numbing. His body wasn't handling withdrawal very well. The fact remained that he was strong enough to keep on fighting, but there was this incredibly foreboding feeling that he couldn't ignore nor even name-

Before he could even register it, Aragaki had been pushed to the side by Kirijo, narrowly missing an attack which would have critically damaged him. He nearly slipped off the bone ridge if not for his quick reflexes - he grabbed onto a thick crest from the bone, but his legs could not lift themselves to any surface.

He dropped his weapon - his massive axe falling into the abyss down below.

The spinal cord remained still, unshaken by the sudden impact.

She wasn't too exhausted to be caught by surprise by another attack.

And it was an attack from a gigantic hand. It had clawed talons for fingers and had skin tougher than marble. Despite this, the hand actually wore armor - on each of its fingers were regal shields emblazoned with Hierophant masks, and descending from the palms were huge tassels that resembled chains.

The Star summoned his Persona, and so did the Empress. The High Priest found himself to be surprisingly weak, however. He had tried to pull himself up on his own legs, but they refused to support him. His arms were getting tired, as well.

 _Not good. Not good at all._

And the hand was prepared to fully crush him and the Empress who remained at his side.

"Polydeuces!" A roundhouse kick sent the Shadow out of range of the two it had attempted to crush, and the Star just called the both of them out on their stupidity, "Guys! You kidding me - Shinji, get up!"

"Can't!" Aragaki shouted back. "I...I can't...get up..." _No. Not now. Not now!_

His grip loosened. The crest was slowly slipping from his hands. His palms were numb and both of his index fingers felt like they wanted to curl into themselves uncontrollably. A shot of pain blasted through an artery on his left arm, and he let out a stifled cry of anguish in response.

"Shinji!" cried Akihiko.

But!

Aragaki's fall was halted, thankfully. By a floating, gigantic, three-headed dog that had its middle head biting down on the High Priest's collar.

The dog gave a quick yapping noise, and Aragaki sighed in earnest.

I snapped my fingers, seeing their plight.

"What-!?"

A blue card flared up a _significant_ distance from the group.

The card quickly fell right into Hayase's grip, and despite being mostly awake, the way his dead hand crushed it was amazingly groggy. However, the moment he crushed it, he felt rejuvenated. His body floated to the air, carried by an undercurrent of bright blue light. His now-white eyes burned with a spirit they hadn't burned with in a long time. A being clad in blood-red robes and wearing a _shogun_ helmet rose out of his skull. Hayase sleepily stared at the being that had emerged from his head in awe.

 _ **"Thou art I. And I am thou. From the sea of thy soul, I cometh. I am Futsunushi, Master of Blades and Conquest."**_

Futsunishi also bore a blade larger than ten men.

Hayase then darted his eyes to the giant hand being trying to crush people _right in front of him_ and immediately took several steps back while letting out a helplessly horrified scream. And from that scream, Futsunushi gave his attack.

The Personas of the veterans brought themselves out of range, because there was a giant, golden fist coming down upon the hand. The hand was not destroyed by the blow. However, Hayase's Persona had managed to land a significant amount of damage.

Which the Shadow was not happy with.

Sanada saw this and reacted accordingly.

"Mitsuru! Drive the thing away from him!"

His friend endured the oncoming headache which resulted from Penthesilea head butting the Shadow out of further range of the boy - as the Star himself charged straight towards the Navigator, who retained that tired, bored gaze-

-right up until Sanada pushed him face-first into the blue door right behind him.

Kirijo, however, in her pain, detected the returning giant hand and called out for her comrade - " _Akihiko_! Dodge backwards-!"

* * *

"AAGH - _AAARRGH_!"

The Star closed the door just as quickly, unaware that he had just run Hayase's nose into said door.

"H-Hayase!?" Tomochika screamed at this new person in the Room, having just remembered his name. "Y-you were in there, too!? Oh, man - your nose...!"

Makoto immediately checked for injuries of any kind on the lad - aside from his newly-reddened nose - settling down somewhat once he found none at all.

Hayase was still _very_ groggy, but was now mildly aware of his surroundings. The fact that his nose had been injured may have had something to do with that. And now, he had a splitting headache. Which had always happened, if he were to be suddenly woken up. This would have annoyed him, but he was far too exhausted to be annoyed at the moment.

"Urgh...," Mamoru groaned, placing a hand over his nose in anger. "My head...what's...going _on_?"

Tomochika stammered, making his way over to the once-undefeated Kendo champion, "Y-you okay, man? I-I mean...well...uh..."

"Hayase, are you alright?"

Mamoru recognized Makoto's voice, tiredly pushing himself up off the ground. "Yuki...? Makoto Yuki...hey," he then sat himself up, "do you have any idea where we _are_...? Or...am I dreaming...?" He managed to stand upright by the time he had finished that statement.

He hadn't been completely asleep before Sanada had pushed him into the Room. He had seen some weird imagery - but no image too _tangible_ had formed in his mind. So, the logical conclusion was that the strange-tasting yogurt he'd had before tucking in was granting him some weird dreams.

Makoto told him, as his friends reacted in varying ways, "No, I wish you all were, though."

* * *

Elizabeth was out of the detector's range. Being neither human nor Shadow certainly helped. She was on the fifth floor of the Monad block of Tartarus. And it was a snowy landscape. Literally, just snow. No trees, no clear blue skies, no mountains or land formations...just snow. It was a blizzard. One of the harshest any being could endure. That was the reason why there were few Shadows on the floor floor, and why the few she had found were miserably frozen.

Despite not having nerves with which to feel cold, an unnatural chill made its way up Elizabeth's inhuman spine. Frost was gathering on her eyelashes and on some strands of her hair. Her exposed shoulders were beginning to freeze up as her ears became quite...crusty. Samael was biting down on a frozen Shadow's statue of a corpse while Kohryu waited patiently for Elizabeth to make her next move.

She dug her hands into the snow and snatched up a hostage. Thanks to the wards, the cold hadn't affected said hostage too much. But her skin was beginning to become pale, and she was missing the glasses she'd so often use on her outings with the Fool.

Elizabeth smiled. She then brought the girl to the door, and in a simple heave, pushed her inside the Room. The door closed immediately after what was done had been done.

"Quite a few more to go..." She stood up and gazed determinedly through the snow. "Please...please tell me...you're still here. Oh...why can't I see you?"

* * *

The girl was dropped in the Room, shocking the little band of misfits.

"Fushimi...?"

* * *

Aragaki was groaning, a painful churning noise coming from his stomach. Although it couldn't be seen, there was a purple welt on his abdomen. Cerberus carefully laid him on the bridge, and Shinjiro kept a grip on a now-apparent crack. He didn't seem to care that he had dropped his axe when he had fallen the first time.

" _ARRGH_!" Akihiko was _punched_ fifty feet away by their dexterous foe, his ribs breaking apart at the seams.

"Akihiko!" Kirijo screamed, summoning her Persona. Penthesilea caught the white-haired boxer in her arms, but her body lit up with alarm, as if warning her master. Kirijo's senses returned to where _she herself_ was, and how _there was an object coming down onto her-_

A _clash_ ing noise. Kirijo turned. Aragaki. He, while still atop the canine Persona, had his own shielding the Empress from the blow. To put it mildly, he was painfully but forcefully wrapping his fingers around his summoning device just to make this situation work. "Get to Aki-!" he blurted out, screaming, groaning, straining. Castor's chest was dented, and so was his own. Punch after punch was landing on his Persona's form, and all he could yell out through the pain was, "Focus on healing him!"

Kirijo was slightly worried, as Aragaki was now putting himself in danger, but he pushed her away from him. "Do it! I'll be fine!"

She nodded swiftly - _I'm so sorry. -_ and ran over to Sanada, who was making hacking noises and gurgling up blood. She hated how her Persona couldn't adapt as well as she could to stressful situations. She couldn't even sense this one's weaknesses...!

The dog was quicker than most, so it was a given that its Persona would be able to run past the creature's attacks, the High Priest remaining on Cerberus' back. Shinjiro began cursing his own body. _No, not now! Don't do this to me_ now _! This isn't the time!_ He was experiencing withdrawals. For Akihiko's sake, he had decided that he would abstain from taking those useful yet crippling medicines. But the effects the withdrawals were having on his body were impossible to endure. Now, he was coughing up blood. A new development. Along with this development, he had a _splitting_ headache. He'd had a feeling earlier in the day - the feeling something awful was going to happen tonight, and so far, his instinct had proven right.

He growled, but then he heard it.

 _=/= -gainst flame attacks! =/=_

A barrelling orange light.

The hand was now caught on fire, and before it could let out an agonized scream, Polydeuces decided to take advantage by smashing it down with a double axe-handle-

 _=/= Th-there's another hostage! Junpei-kun, turn right! =/=_

And Kirijo cursed herself for her inabilities yet again. In her stress, she hadn't even caught wind of another hostage - one floating atop yet another wandering skull, right above her. _Stupid, stupid, stupid-_

The Magus, on the other hand - "Got 'er!" - was having the deadliest field day of his life. But a field day nonetheless.

Castor joined efforts with Polydeuces in the proceeding beatdown of the burning, scorching hand.

Hermes, with Iori on his back, opened the door, hostage in his gargantuan arms.

* * *

Hermes closed the door, having thrown the hostage inside the Room.

"Oh, come on...!" Hayase straightened up immediately, his exhaustion having faded completely. He even began barking out orders, right to the Magician, "You! Stay with _that_ girl! I'm going to help out with this one!"

"O-okay!" Tomochika nervously and insecurely nodded, freaking out but understanding of the fact that he now had a duty to fulfil.

Neither of them were happy about their current predicament in the least.

Tomochika was still debating on whether or not this was all just a dream. It was quickly becoming apparent that it wasn't. And if it wasn't, then this was just a plain terrifying situation with far too many unknowns for his own good. Was he ever going to see his family again? Ms. Kanou? Junpei, or Waku, or Hatagai - _Rio?_ Would he ever see her again? The realization of how many people he had taken for granted was hitting him, and he wasn't sure how he was going to take it.

Hayase, however, with a calm and collected demeanor, focused on the task at hand. All thoughts on family and friends had to take a backseat, at the moment. Right now, whether or not this was a dream, people needed help. People like the Hermit, whose eyes were now opening.

Hayase blushed slightly, maintaining his gaze. _She...looks pretty cute when she's waking up - wait, you can't think about things like that right now! You should be thinking about if you'll ever see your family again, if you'll ever get out of here, if something - her hair smells nice. Huh -_ focus _!_ Hayase blushed slightly, maintaining his gaze. She awoke and brought her attention to the dark-skinned boy whose eyes were stuck on her. He, flustered, muttered an, "U-uh...you okay...?"

"What...?" She just sat up and rubbed her eyes in response. "Where am I...?"

"That's a pretty long story...," sighed the chronically-depressed Wild Card in the Room.

"Yuki?" She turned to him, surprised at his sudden appearance. "Well...I guess I can wait - wait, what happened to your nose!?" Yes, it was rude to suddenly change the topic, but Hayase's nose was just _so unsightly_ that she couldn't ignore it. "It - where'd you get that wound...?"

"I, uh..." _Did my nose really get_ that _banged up?_

She placed her hand over his nose, "You might risk infection-! Wha-!?"

"H-huh!?" Green light flared up from the the Hermit's fingers onto the Navigator's nose, quickly repairing it. The empowerment was a success. "How'd you...?"

"I...I don't know...," Hasegawa said, staring deep within the callouses of her hand.

The Lovers and the Fool immediately started tensing up, to put it mildly, once the reality of the situation returned to them. And so, I decided to reward them with my presence.

"You're very welcome."

Makoto, on the other hand - " _You."_ \- was not pleased. Understandably so.

* * *

"Kohryu, left. Samael, right."

The two Shadows attempting to consume Elizabeth were both gigantic, wheel-like creatures with kaleidoscope-like patterns spanning their innards, Hanged Man masks in the middle of them. Those same Shadows were now being torn apart rather unceremoniously. And to think, they'd just appeared.

Lucky for the latest hostage that she had been lovingly placed atop a rock, in this drearily snowy landscape.

* * *

"Y- _Yuko_!"

I shrugged, ignoring everyone's surprise at the sudden new entry into the Room, "I suppose I should show you what a Persona is. After all, you've earned that right."

Time had an interesting way of working in the Velvet Room. You may spend eight hours in the Room when in the real world, you might be gone for a minute. Likewise, you may spend a thousand years on Earth, while only spending a day in the Room.

Realms of the psyche were so much easier to manipulate time-wise, even for one such as I. Now, there were as many as were needed to spur Makoto and his allies onward to victory this evening. If I were to let their arrivals proceed as they would in real-time, we'd have lost the remaining hostages by now. I had to make this quick. My form was becoming like glass - I couldn't endure much more of this. What had to be done, had to be done now!

Makoto screamed in disdain at me, "You _monster_ -!" unaware of my own troubles.

But the Navigator pulled himself to his feet and turned to the Wild Card, interrupting him - "Okay, would you _please_ tell us what's going on!? Where are we!? What happened to us!? Where are our families!? Our friends!? Why...?" His roar then turned into a whimper. "Please...where are we...?"

The Hermit was trying to absorb all this information and maintain a calm disposition, an act which she wasn't succeeding at in the slightest. Her ever-so-blatant fidgeting gave her uneasiness (for lack of a better word) away. Nurse duties under Edogawa, she could handle. But this was cosmic nightmare stuff that she had strayed away from ever being associated with since after reading just one Lovecraft story.

The Magician was much more unstable. All of this was terrifying him, yes, but the fact that he was around friends stemmed the tide. Somewhat. Yet the implications of Makoto's involvement led to someinterest on his part on _what he had anything to do with this._

Both eyed Makoto suspiciously, yet neither bore ill intent. They both just wanted answers. Makoto closed his eyes in shame, trying to will all of this away. He was unaware that the Lovers was watching all of this unfold. He was unaware that her heart rate was climbing, her fears were coming alive. She was bearing witness to his newest deterioration and she wasn't able to stand it.

But I pretended not to notice, and put Makoto at an impasse. "Out there is a time that should not exist. It lies in-between each day, a silent transition. During this Dark Hour, the moon turns a bright and sour yellow. The skies turn green, like dead grass. Water turns into blood. And normal human beings turn into coffins."

Every newborn soldier looked at me in _supreme_ confusion. Hayase, the most intelligent one out of the three, came to the conclusion that, _Yes, this sounds pretty legit after putting literally_ everything else _into consideration_. He was quite fit to be a leader in the eyes of his rivals and even schoolmates (to a degree), but was nowhere near _my_ standards for such a role. He was not one who could easily accept being saddled with responsibility. Too bad for him, especially now.

"Standing upright," I told him. "Thankfully...I've made it such that you people aren't normal human beings anymore."

The Navigator blinked. Restrained, yet visibly terrified, he stammered out, "What...have you done to us?"

"Those who can enter this Hour are capable of summoning creatures straight from their psyches. These creatures are called Personas."

"So...these...Personas are from our minds?" Hasegawa asked me. This was a habit of hers.

"And your souls," he told her. "Think of a Persona as a mask you wear to shield you as you brave hardships in the world. Everything you are - your thoughts, your feelings, your unconscious desires, your conscious desires - all of it, is encapsulated into a Persona. For example."

Blue cards blared into being from above the Justice and the Chariot.

" _AAGH_ \- what!?"

Cards fell. Cards shattered.

* * *

"Iori!" Kirijo exclaimed.

"Senpai!" The Magus remained atop his Persona's back, an idea that may or may not have stemmed from seeing Makoto on Thor's. "You guys okay!?"

"We're fine, thanks to your timely arrival."

Their time to rest was over. The Empress was still privately berating herself over not having been strong enough to finish things sooner, resting on the bridge. The Star was now taking in air through his newly-repaired lungs while in Penthesilea's grip. The High Priest was experiencing _feeling_ in his legs once again, still atop the dog's Persona. And Koromaru was yapping happily at the situation, somehow managing to balance himself on the ridge of bone.

"Yamagishi! How many more're trapped on this floor!?"

 _=/= One more. Hurry, you have to get to him! He's - he's at the ceiling! =/=_

"What-!?"

They looked up, and they saw him. Right above the aforementioned giant coccyx, there was a blonde-haired foreign boy dressed in bright blue pajamas wrapped in meat and gore. There was a blue door stuck within the ceiling, to the left of the boy.

"Oh, _no._ "

Aragaki said that because there was a hole to the right of the boy. And out of the hole emerged a gigantic centipede with human heads along the chitin of its form...

"G- _get him outta there_!"

...and it was wearing a Fortune mask.

* * *

"I hate you," said Makoto, much to the shock of everyone in the room. I understood his anger. This is why I used it against him.

"There is no choice." I _knew_ the irony of the situation. Don't sell me short. "You know not what will occur when you reach your final battle against the Shadows. You will need all the help you can get."

"I am _not_ going to let you do this to them!" he screamed.

I scoffed. To _him._ Because I knew that would work.

"You, of all people, should know that you cannot rely on virtue to win a war! Do you know how much blood you have sacrificed to get to this point? How many injuries you and your friends have received? Would you like to know the _decades_ by which your lives have shortened? If you had no healing Personas, the only things holding you together would be bandages and staples and _tape_."

Childishly, he was about to bring his hands to his ears, but settled on a "You shut the hell up right now-"

I stopped him - "You have no right to berate me on my own morally ambiguous deeds when people have fallen into comas because of you! Just minutes ago, you were willing to zap your friend with a lightning bolt from _Thor_!" I didn't care that the people aside from Takeba did not understand what I was saying. I didn't care that Takeba herself was breaking down over remembering Makoto's deeds. I didn't care that Makoto himself was murderous again. "You don't care about right or wrong. All that matters to you is keeping blood off your hands. And that is a useless effort, because your hands have been drenched in gore for _ten long years_."

"Because of _you_!"

Before I even _realized it_ \- and that was an achievement - I was on the ground, and my "face" had gotten sore. Makoto had punched me, and I felt _hurt_. Well, not necessarily _hurt_. More, inconvenienced.

"You _ruined_ my life!" he screamed over the clamors of his friends.

"Without me, you wouldn't even _have_ one!" I spat back to the ungrateful little spod.

"I'd _rather be dead_ than live with the crap you put me through!" He grabbed me by the "neck" and choked me - strangling me like he had the mental image of his sister. "You terminated my sister from time itself! You drafted me into a freaking war! You decided what would happen to me since day one, and had me put up with whatever you wanted to throw at me next because I would have grown stronger! And now, you _dare_ -!?"

" _You_ chose to fight in this war," I told him, unaffected by how his hands were pressing against my throat. I told him this because he knew. He knew all along. But he didn't want to accept it. Now, was the time to bring it full circle. "You were given the choice, remember? To fight the Shadows or not...you chose to because you wanted to avenge your family. But later on, you wanted to just avenge yourself. Do _not_ attempt to tell me that you had no choice." Unable to think of anything to say back to him, I let him go. Breathing heavily, I hung my head low, uncaring of all who were watching me. He coughed. "Your sister would have ended everything, had I not intervened. There are things much larger than you or even I, Makoto Yuki. You think you've seen everything? No. You've seen less than a millionth of what the Sea of Souls has in store. In fact, you've seen only half of what the Shadows have in store for you _tonight_."

His eyes widened. "What...?"

"Allow me to show you just how small you are."

I snapped my fingers.

* * *

She was now in a land of lava. All around her were molten red liquids pouring out from holes in the rocky walls, burning waterfalls spraying down onto floors made of gold and steel. The fumes would have not harmed anyone, really - if a human were to inhale them, the only real repercussion would be nightmares for the next fifteen days. Nightmares which would become progressively worse and worse per day.

 **"You're here?"**

Elizabeth stared at him. She took in a deep breath and let out an intense exhale. She was staring down a naked man, her height. He had long, platinum-blonde hair, and his face was concealed by a black, featureless mask. He had dark veins popping up all over his body. And he was carrying a glowing, gray-haired young boy with a tired scowl on his sleeping face.

"Please...stop," she begged pitifully. "You don't have to do this. Philemon let me here so that we could retrieve you..."

* * *

"I had made a deal with Elizabeth," I said to them. "Aiding you wasn't the only objective she had at the moment. She had another - one which held top priority for her. I had allowed her to do this, precisely to retrieve _him_. This prodigal son of the Room."

* * *

 **"Hmph. If he had cared from the start, none of this would have happened,"** he growled.

"It wasn't his fault...he had no choice, but to...," she held back the tears, "please, come home. If you do, we'll...we'll...you - you shouldn't be like this. He'll kill you."

 **"Philemon's already lost-"**

"I wasn't talking about Philemon!" she yelled, grabbing him by the shoulders. "You are hurting his friends. You haven't seen him - the things he's capable of. At this point, he's-!"

He slapped her hands away, **"Let him kill me. In the end, will it matter if he does or does not?"**

"I can't let you do this! You have to let his friends go free! If you don't - you'll never be able to-!"

 **"I don't want redemption!"** he bellowed. **"From Philemon...a blessing is the same as a curse. He'll take away your champion as well. You know this. And yet you follow him, like the dog you are."**

"Please...!" Elizabeth wept, putting her book to her mouth, "Don't do this...! Don't make him destroy you!"

He laughed, taking pleasure in seeing her tears fall. **"Not even for _me_ , would you sacrifice your status as a lackey of humanity. How utterly predictable of you, sister."**

* * *

" _Sister_...?"

I said simply in response, "Theodore. That was his name. He had once been an assistant of Igor's, like Elizabeth. He'd been meant to aid Hamuko Yuki in her journey, just as Elizabeth had been sent to aid you in yours. However, the most peculiar thing had happened. Foolishly, he had asked requests of the fragile-minded girl. It was his form of compromise; to provide social support whilst still remaining true to the boundaries set by the Velvet Room."

Horror struck Makoto and Takeba, confusion striking the rest. However, Makoto was the first to vocalize something. "Oh, no."

"However, he had never intended for budding feelings for the girl to enter his heart. He'd begun to love her, despite her growing insanity, and he had wanted to save her from the horrors she had endured and had been about to endure. But under me, he couldn't find in himself the courage to rebel."

He turned to me, the look on his face caught between terror and fury, "I see."

"It was when I'd had her erased from time that he had snapped. Selling himself to one whose name I dare not mutter. And now, he is on a higher plane than even the two Shadows who had placed your friends in this precarious situation."

* * *

"Theodore, please!" she cried. " _Brother_!"

 **"If you are not willing to stand by me, then break."**

A whirring noise erupted from Theodore, and a blinding explosion enveloped the landscape. Elizabeth screamed out, and the boy Theodore carried _vanished_ -

* * *

Makoto's classmates all clamored in abject fear. Scattering amongst themselves. Some couldn't speak, others were frantic and begging for answers. Makoto himself was of the latter, " _Is he dead_?"

But I answered back, knowing full well the effect this would have on him and the rest of them, "I was and still am a harsh being. I admit this. I do what must be done, when it must be done. I do not permit empathy. The fluctuations within the Sea may have had something to do with this - I had never been this impersonal to previous guests. Even to the Sun of Souls...despite the events surrounding him which I had played a hand in. The Velvet Room residents are very much like children; and Igor and I, their weary caretakers. The most innocent out of the three siblings was Theodore, the youngest one.  
"He'd always had this awkwardness - this innate sense of wonder which was easily exploitable by his sisters. Theodore's eyes, while very sleek and sharp, had a sort of guileless shine to them. His hair had always been slicked back to show his forehead, and it was painfully obvious that he did this to look, in his words, 'impressive.' He'd fumbled about with words when nervous or excited, attempt a show at intelligence when it would instead show his naivete, and was well-versed in making exceptionally eloquent pieces of poetry - mostly ones about love. His sisters were as enthralled by the idea of love as he had been.  
"Love was something he had craved - he was in no hurry to find it, however the mere thought of it would take him. The passion one would feel solely for the purpose of an ideal, the intense ordeals lovers would end up facing which would lead to their bond becoming ever stronger, the will and effort to strive for another's happiness even at the cost of your own - this is what Theodore was so enraptured by. He knew not that for even as love crowns you, so he shall crucify you."

I had truly felt sorry for what had happened with Theodore. But he had made his choice. It was the wrong one.

I snapped my fingers again, after a very long silence.

* * *

A kilometer-high horse appeared in the land of lava. It had red, bleeding eyes and a mane of black hellfire. It's skin was so dark that the bottomless pits of Hades envied it. Three hundred men could fill its maw. It had a dozen massive steel chains in the place of a tail, and its hooves were large enough to crush entire provinces. Its musclebound legs could enable it to run across an entire planet in an hour.

Mouthed, serpentine tails then emerged from its back, patterned in blood-red spirals. They whipped around aimlessly in the air, each tail screaming out blasphemes with a disappointed, despairing tone of voice. Something white then started to slowly emerge from the horse's throat, only for that white to turn into grey. And then the grey turned to yellow. And soon, it revealed itself to be a decayed human skull.

The Night Horse's featureless mask blended in with the rest of its form. Theodore had truly grown up. Or so he thought he had.

* * *

"God, help us all...," Makoto breathed out, fear once again embracing him.

Takeba couldn't speak, her hands covering her mouth as tears started to well up in her eyes.

Miyamoto and Tomochika had a combined reaction: "What the hell is _that_!?"

Hasegawa and Hayase immediately felt a swell of horror within themselves, but felt enthralled at the sight. Enthralled precisely because they were terrified.

* * *

With one thunderous stomp of his hoof, he created an earthquake. The extremely large mound of rock gave way, bursting open into the lava down below. The Night Horse's hooves were ankle-deep within the sea of flame.

Elizabeth had been saved by Kohryu, who immediately dove down to rescue her. Samael immediately made a dash for Theodore, only to be brought asunder by a casually-thrown Megidolaon.

The light did not blind Elizabeth - beings such as she were not afflicted by what mortals would be - but had to get out of dodge. Kohryu had sent her away from the blast radius - but emerging from the ensuing smoke was the gigantic black horse that Theodore had become, in his folly.

Elizabeth tried summoning another Persona, but couldn't find it in her. Not because she was afraid to lose - because she was afraid to _win_. She _knew_ whose Compendium the one she had in her hands had been. She knew of one single Persona who could just _end_ Theodore there and then, but she - she couldn't.

She remembered all the times they had fooled around - she and her siblings. All the times they had privately mocked Theodore for falling for a _human_ , all the times Theodore had returned to them with grand tales of the outside world, all the times Theodore had spoken of how he worried for his mistress.

All the times they had sung songs together, spoke about what the each individually liked and disliked about humans, bad-mouthed me under the belief that I wouldn't have heard them, childishly and _stupidly_ made questions to Igor about his nose...

Kohryu carried the dazed simulacrum out of dodge, the massive shade of Theodore's giant hoof missing her and landing in the sea of lava. The gigantic creature was unaffected by the heat searing into its hooves, and lurched its gargantuan skull around, in search of his sister.

"Theodore-!" Elizabeth leapt from Kohryu down onto Theodore's head. A truly daring, if stupid move. But she didn't know how else to get to him other than direct contact. "Theodore, _please_! Listen to me! I-I don't want you to die-!"

 **"Have faith in me, sister!"** he laughed haughtily. **"Or do you still believe I'm as weak as I had been before!?"**

"Theodore, would you just get it through your thick skull to _listen to me for once_!?" Elizabeth shouted as she wept. "If you continue on this path, you die! I don't want your blood on his hands-!"

 **"Then do me a favor and _kill him yourself_!" ** Theodore's body lit up, the black color of his massive form turning white for a brief second. Elizabeth had been swept away by Kohryu, again diving in to save her - this time from a lightning bolt emerging straight from Theodore's skull, right where his sister had been. **"The boy destroys everything he touches!"**

"Don't make me fight you, please!" she called out to him a thousand feet away, perched atop Kohryu's head.

 **"You are ashamed!"** Theodore blurted out, and it was uncertain whether he was taunting her or simply angry. **"You still believe I am too weak for the likes of you! I have seen things you couldn't possibly endure, girl! I am the being that will overthrow Philemon's forces!"**

Her emotions reached their peak, and the tears came flooding down her eyes relentlessly, " _Brother, stop_!"

 **" _I am no brother to you_!" ** A purple orb flashed right above Elizabeth, and her eyes widened with fear and realization. **"I will be your curse!"**

Kohryu tried to sweep himself and his current master away from the ensuing blast, but couldn't get out of range in time. The light engulfed him - and before he knew it, he disappeared, Elizabeth now falling-

* * *

"Elizabeth!" Makoto screamed-!

* * *

" _Perses_!"

Closing her Compendium, Elizabeth saw a Titan emerge. His size rivalled Theodore's, and he was coated with molten rock and stone, volcanoes erupting from his spine. He breathed sulfur and ash, and his eyes blazed with flame. His arms were large enough to carry three skyscrapers, his legs as tall as seven elephants. A single one of his toes could could step on an entire apartment complex like it was an anthill.

The only thing he had that passed in terms of armor was a Spartan helmet made of gravel, which had a plume made of phoenix feathers. The sea of lava below him only reached up to his ankles, and he had a musculature that could only be surpassed by that of Hercules'.

The Titan of Destruction had arrived, Elizabeth atop his bald and rocky head. Even Theodore had to take a step back at the sight his new opponent.

In a large, sweeping motion, Perses' fist made contact with Theodore's head, sending the Night Horse in a rage.

* * *

Makoto widened his eyes in shock, Takeba did the same as he, Hayase and Hasegawa both brought their hands to their mouths, Tomochika let out an expletive in awe, and Miyamoto merely yelled, "Yeah, take that, you mother-!"

* * *

"This is what you want!" Elizabeth shouted, holding up the Compendium she had in her hands. " _This_ is what you're fighting for!" Perses then landed a massive _kick_ to the human skull that Theodore's new form had kept, resulting in the skull breaking apart and the Night Horse coughing out oceans of red blood - all of which landed into the lava. "All for the book of a Fool!"

Enraged, Theodore shuffled forward.

He ran a hoof right down onto Perses' musclebound knee, and cracked it apart like it was nothing but a hollow stone. Perses let out a bellow that would have been loud enough to be heard throughout Japan, had he not been in the Monad Block.

Theodore then did it again with another hoof - piercing right into Perses' right shoulder and making it crumble with black magic. The Titan of Destruction let out another pained howl as lava spilled from its form, splattering harmlessly around Theodore's body. Elizabeth barely held on, her fingers defiantly sinking into the large crevice on Perses' helmet.

* * *

 _C'mon, Liz!_ Makoto internally screamed. _Hold it together-!_

* * *

She used her other hand - the one with the Compendium - to summon another Persona to aid in her attack.

" _Deimos_!"

The new Persona broke Theodore away from Perses, and stood between the two combatants.

He was larger than Perses, but smaller than the Night Horse. Clothed in armor fit for a king, he had a Spartan helmet on his head as well, with a plume of wildfire. He had a bronze shield featuring a prominent Λon it, and he wielded a javelin which could run through twenty whale sharks. His silver skin was coated in scratches and decay, as if he were a statue that had been taken apart and put back together again several times.

The God of Fear had arrived into battle.

And in a motion too quick for Theodore to counter, the javelin that I had mentioned earlier had gone through the Night Horse's skull and out the back of his head.

The neigh of the Night Horse was like hearing the sound of infants drowning. Red blood was now pouring down from Theodore's body like water from a pitcher. The spearhead had gone through the throat and tonsils, catching a bit of Theodore's now-black tongue and damaging some of his serrated teeth.

* * *

Everyone tried averting their eyes from the sight, but I was forcing them to continue watching.

* * *

Elizabeth shielded her eyes from what was going on, but silently ordered Deimos to continue his onslaught.

Deimos used his right hand to carry both his shield and the weapon now lodged within the giant horse's skull. He then made a sweeping motion and got from his side a massive blade. It was scarred from battle, like it had fought against a thousand Leanern Hydras - but was sharp enough to cleave through an entire army of experienced soldiers within a second.

And with this blade, he pulled a finishing blow.

* * *

I still did not avert their eyes from the next sight. You can base their reactions on what happened next.

* * *

The sword plunged itself into the side of Theodore's throat, carving a massive hole into it. Slowly, Deimos brought the blade to himself, and the hole in the neck of the Night Horse grew larger and larger. The blood spilling out onto the flaming seas were enough to flood a small village, and Theodore's neck gradually grew looser.

By the time Deimos had brought the blade back in its sheath, the head of the Night Horse had fallen to the lava, and was now gradually melting away into nothingness and gore and boiling flesh.

Still resting atop a wounded and broken-down Perses, it was at this point that Elizabeth wept.

* * *

Makoto breathed a sigh of relief.

However, his friends were not as relieved as he.

This was the world of Shadows and Personas. This was what the Sea of Souls had to offer them. It was horrid. It was epic. It was demonic. It was glorious. It was painful. It was beautiful, still. This was the world I had introduced - a world too horrifying to even imagine, but a world too powerful to ignore.

And the realization of how small they were hit them each. One by one. In varying ways.

But there was one problem.

* * *

The horse's body was still standing upright. Despite not having a head.

A flurry of tentacles then emerged from the stump.

Deimos was wrapped in them, as they entered every orifice they could imagine with a grip strong enough to break Redwood trees. Deimos screamed in horror as Elizabeth gazed on, too drained to feel anything.

More black tendrils then emerged, wrapping Perses and her in their grasp. Elizabeth then gradually began to see black.

In her pain, she just let images of smiles and sadness and anger and betrayal pass her by as she realized, _Is this what dying must be like? Am I seeing my life flash before my eyes? I thought only humans...had that._

 _...did...Mistress Hamuko...experience this...?_

Slowly, Deimos attempted fighting back. He tried slashing away at the tendrils, but his blade would be deflected. His spear was still lodged into Theodore's melting head, and he could not reach at it. His arms were being kept from doing so.

Perses attempted to wrestle his way out of the grip with raw strength, but his efforts were useless. The tentacles merely pulled him in all the same, and he was left bellowing, screaming, weeping flames.

The screams and the thrashings shook the place, exposing more flames and lava spills and almost sending the whole floor asunder into a void of death.

Within twenty two seconds, Deimos' legs were sticking out of the headless Night Horse. Thirteen seconds after that, Perses was brought screaming into Theodore's body. Elizabeth did nothing, willingly and tiredly being taken into the Shadow's form.

A minute later, all three were gone.

And Hidetoshi Odagiri's body was still nowhere to be found.

* * *

Everyone stared a thousand miles ahead in shock.

Makoto, of course, was not happy with this development. "Yukari, we're going back into Monad. _Now_."

 _What the hell!?_ Tomochika interrupted his friend's completely ridiculous notion, "You can't go out there-!"

"We can," Makoto brushed aside his worries.

"He's going to _kill you_!" Hasegawa exclaimed in complete and utter fear. Fear for her kohai, who was willing to risk his life to fight against that titanic Night Horse. "Just - you can't-!"

"What else do you expect me to do!?" Makoto screamed. "We can't fail! Our lives aren't the only ones in jeopardy here! You can't fight, you've just got your Personas! You don't even know what kind of world you've already entered. We're not gonna die - _we're already dead_!" he turned to me, giving me his pointer finger, "Because of _him_!"

"You do realize you could help him out," I told the newborns. Their eyes widened, and immediately, they shifted. Makoto and Takeba, horrified at the prospect, were absolutely speechless at this proposal. Makoto just shook his head. "No, no," he glared at me again. "You are not going to manipulate any of them-"

"There is no other option!" I shouted at him. "Having you save your friends isn't just some _added layer_ the Shadows came up with to torture you. It's a whittling-down procedure. They're planning on bringing you at your weakest point, and then take you out at that exact moment. If you fail to save your friends, they'd win. If you save your friends, they'd still win because by then, you wouldn't be able to stand. There is _no_ choice!"

"There is always a choice!" Makoto shouted back. "There can't always _not_ be one-!"

"I'm willing."

Everybody stared at the Navigator like he was crazy.

"H-Hayase...?" muttered Tomochika.

"I'm willing, I said."

 _What?_ Makoto whipped his head over to Hayase. "Don't say that-"

"I'm willing to fight with you. Against that monster," he grunted. "I don't think you have another choice. The two of you alone can't fight."

"The hell I don't!" Makoto bitterly spat.

Hayase knew when you just had to keep going, no matter what. The prospect terrified him, but there was a certain...boldness he believed he had achieved. He didn't know why he was feeling it, but this all...this chaos...he needed to fight. There were people trapped in that terrible place, with creatures like that Theodore monster. Visions of his family crossed his mind. Visions of his teammates, as well. Thoughts of how he'd never see them again-

"Mamoru," Makoto began, "think of your family! Think of your friends, your whole _life_! If you go through with this, there's no guarantee you'll come back alive-!"

"You think I don't know that!?" Mamoru shouted back, his heart bursting with fear and adrenaline. "You don't think I'm scared...!? Of course I am! But look at that thing! You think I can just turn back, when I know something like _that_ exists!? I _can_ 't go back!"

Monsters like that existed. Monsters like that - they needed to be destroyed. And he had the power to destroy them. He didn't know just what kind of hellish world he had entered, but he couldn't just let this slide! His honor was on the line! What kind of person would he be if he were to turn away from this!?

Makoto pressed, unaware of how Takeba was feeling this whole time. "You've got nothing - you've not even summoned your own Persona! You don't know how to fight!"

Saori Hasegawa had a similar mindset to Hayase's. "We...have to try something, though..."

" _Hasegawa_ , no!" And Makoto was none too happy about that.

The Hermit wanted nothing more than to return home, to her family. To her miserable home life, to her barely-there social life, to a world where she never mattered - because this was all too much. So much was being absorbed into her all at once and it was agony.

But, like Hayase, she couldn't just turn back from this. This was nightmare stuff, to put it lightly. This was her reality coming down upon her - and people's lives were at risk _because_ of this. What else could she do? Ignore it all? Close her eyes, and live with the horror and the guilt that she could have saved people but was driven away out of fear!?

Again!? No! She wasn't going to do that! She wasn't going to let fear take her over anymore! If she couldn't give her life for _this_ , then what could she fight for!? "I'm with him," she succinctly stated, staring at Hayase, who gave an uneasy smile at her. "I'm going to help you. As best I can."

Kazushi Miyamoto and Kenji Tomochika were understandably less gung-ho about jumping into the fray.

Tomochika was petrified, almost comatose. He had seen the truth of everything - and now was caught between wanting to cry himself to sleep and hope that Kazushi was right and that this was all just some stupid dream...but at the same time, something instinctual, something violent, something _real_ was screaming at him, telling him that he can't just let something this big be ignored. The sheer weight of everything was coming upon him and breaking him - and he didn't know just what to do.

Kazushi Miyamoto had long gone past wishing this was a dream. This was all too real. Too ridiculous to be false. His family, his friends, his loved ones - everyone in the world was but an ant compared to the largeness of _everything_ else. he stared at Nishiwaki's sleeping form, weakly stroking her cheek. Never before had he felt so meaningless, so tiny, so...pointless. What of Shuya? If he were to go out there and fight alongside Makoto, he'd never see Shuya or any of his other relatives or friends again. And he wouldn't see Yuko again, either. That thought gripped his heart the most. What could he do...?

"What got into you two!?" Makoto shouted at the both Hayase and Hasegawa. "You'll die out there-!"

"He's gonna kill you, too," Hayase countered.

"I'm not _gonna_ fight him, idiot! There are other people stuck there-!"

And then something like an idea flashed in his mind. It was reflected in his face - for the briefest of moments, he looked like he had just established the Theory of Relativity. There were several Velvet doors in the Room. Doors which corresponded to the remaining hostages! He made a dash to one of the doors and turned the knob!

Only for it to have been locked. By me.

"If you allow me to give these people Personas," I told him calmly, "then I will unlock all of the doors."

He looked like he wanted to cannibalize me.

He then turned to the Lovers, in the vain hope that she'd support him, "Yukari, you've got to-!"

He was horrified upon seeing that she wasn't exhibiting any signs of violent rage towards me, but was slumping tiredly, her eyes averted from his, with her grip on her weapons being rather loose.

This Theodore person was strong enough to defeat the woman who had single-handedly blown up what had seemed to be hundreds of Shadow corpses right before their very eyes. The other members of S.E.E.S. were kept at bay. There were several other hostages in danger. Elizabeth had been their greatest chance to save the others who had been trapped in the Monad Block, but now she was completely out of commission.

At this point, trying to rescue everyone who had been thrown through the Lonely Gates seemed impossible. The best they could hope for was the rescue of _most_ of them. The thought was terrible, disgusting - but what else could they do? What other option was available...?

There was a _kid_ stuck here. Someone already may or may not have died because of Theodore. They'd only managed to save _half_ of all the hostages. Hundreds of Shadows, all of them _quite_ the challenge.

And Theodore _himself_ was out for Makoto's blood.

"...Makoto...we...," she abandoned altogether any thoughts of trying to sugarcoat what she was trying to say. "I don't think he's wrong. If...if they want it..."

"You can't be serious," he begged her. "Please, tell me you're not serious."

"He beat that Elizabeth woman, and he's out for _your_ blood. We need all the help we can get! Everyone else is out there, trying to save the others trapped in this whole mess; we can't _do_ this by ourselves! We need them!"

"You're asking me to give permission to risk other people's lives!"

"You've _done_ this!" she shouted back, stunning him. "With Ken! Listen to yourself - what happened to keeping Ken from joining the team, huh!? Why'd you let him back in, then!? And don't even get me started on Narukami-!"

"How could you _say that_!?"

"Even with Miyamoto, you almost electrified him with a lightning bolt just to free him! But now, when we need more help, you're taking the moral high ground!? When you do horrible things to countenance some greater good, it's okay - but when we do it, you're _offended_!"

"Don't you _dare_ think I made those calls lightly-!"

"But you did," I said. He stopped saying things after that. So, I continued on, "It is so easy for you to denounce your morals. Because, like I said, you don't care about what is right or wrong. You only care about keeping blood off your hands. You don't want to see anyone die, but you don't want to let the Shadows live. Therefore, you are trapped in quite the quandary. Think, Makoto Yuki. Can you truly defeat Theodore _and_ save the remaining hostages without any extra help?"

He growled and clenched his fists. He hung his head low. He trembled for a few seconds, his thoughts ambiguous even to one such as I. Takeba stared at him in fear while the others in the room confusedly and nervously eyed the both of them.

"Oh, by the way?" I told him. "He's coming in. Now."

Takeba's eyes widened in terror. Miyamoto stood up, straightening himself, having fully made his resolve. Hayase breathed heavily and crossed his arms, closing his eyes and trying to force his Persona out of his head.

Tomochika let out a scream, through tears-

But Makoto just widened his eyes and gripped his shredded Dimens Jacket, swiftly unloading from its pocket _dozens_ of blades.

Cutlasses, rapiers, scimitars, shortswords, greatswords, daggers, kitchen knives, swords too large to carry, swords too heavy to swing. Almost every classification of bladed weapon was out on the floor right now, being presented like candy having come from a newly-burst pinata.

Everyone was just dead silent at the sight of this. Even crickets would have taken a stunned silence at this.

"Take up a sword-!"

 _Smash!_

* * *

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

* * *

I am so sorry to all the Theodore fans out there...but really, considering what happened to Hamuko and every other change I've made to the story, I felt this was the only way to take his character.

The reason I'm having the Social Links get Personas is simply: the pace is moving abysmally otherwise. Therefore, I've found that the best possible course of action is to have the Social Links advance as the story does. That, and I just really, _really_ like all these guys. TOTALLY not partly because it's a cool idea. *Looks around nervously*

Although Maya's a little underwhelming, these characters provide some of the best parts of _Persona 3_ \- in fact, I once foolishly ended up _not_ dungeon crawling through Tartarus simply to progress through Kaz's S-Link and drink coffee in the hopes of upping my Charm and getting a date with Yukari. Wasn't worth it, had to restart the _whole game_ upon the Hierophant battle.

The writers played their hand really well with the introduction of the Social Link system. It gives a sense of belonging in the world the game created, and all these interactions work to the theme of the game - how friendship _literally_ is power. The insidious undertones of the concept of Social Linking aside, this is a very welcome mechanic that really helped the game become one of my favorites.

Which is why I'm a little annoyed with this new Cooperation...thing that _P5_ is planning. Along with the concept of the _P5_ characters... "stealing the hearts of corrupt people?"

Anyway, I wish you all a Happy New Year (delayed)!

And LPP3FES is going to come back soon as well.

 **NOTE: EDITED ENDING A BIT.**


	4. Arcana CHAOS, Part III: Abyss

"I'm surprised that you can enter the Room without melting, Theodore," Philemon chided. "Have you grown that much in power?"

There was the smell of sulfur taking hold of the mystical elevator as shards of the Velvet door lay at Theodore's bare, veined feet. His body was burning and hissing, engulfed in fumes. And yet he didn't even seem hurt or damaged in the least. The air burned due to convection, and none of the mere mortals in the Room could stomach the stench strangling them. Our skins almost reached boiling point, before Philemon created another door to replace the one Theodore had broken down.

Trapping us with the beast.

I didn't know who I wanted to kill more.

Everyone kept themselves silent. They couldn't move. They couldn't think. All they were able to do was watch as cosmically powerful forces beyond their understanding went off and did an unusually human thing: banter.

"It's about time you showed up," Philemon taunted him even further. "I was beginning to wonder when you'd finally take your charge this night. What prevented you from killing Makoto Yuki sooner? What, were you delayed?" Philemon's tone was less jeery and more jaded; like Theodore had wronged him. And now, Philemon had the smallest version of a scowl you could ever see on anyone's face. "You were probably saving him for last. Perhaps your absorption of Elizabeth drove you to put things on your schedule a little in advance."

 **"Hold your tongue, whelp."**

"Whelp?" Philemon seemed visibly offended, which I both loved and feared. "Whelp!? I made you, you ungrateful trash! Nyarlathotep must have been desperate, seeing how he was willing to let you serve him! You dare call me that, after absorbing your own sister?"

"She was no longer my sister," Theodore said simply.

"I can attest to that. Someone like Elizabeth deserved a far better brother than you." He didn't respond again. "You know, despite having gained immense strength since we've last met...you're still the emotional little runt at the end of the line. You're a slave," laughed Philemon. "A slave to oblivion. So. What now, Theodore? Are you planning to kill everyone here?"

Theodore silently raised a bony and decrepit finger at only one person in the room. And of course, it was me.

"Wh-what...?" stammered Kenji, whose stunned and terrified expression matched everyone else's.

"It's always been me," I grunted to everyone.

"What?" smirked Philemon. "You don't think you can take on multiple Persona-users at once?"

 **"He needs to die,"** said Theodore, **"more than any other."**

I glared at him, balling my hands into fists. Prepared to do what needed to be—

"W-wait!" Kazushi cut in, stepping between me and Theodore. Guarding me with his arms outstretched. "Why!? Why him!?"

"Kaz!" screamed Kenji.

"Miyamoto-san, step back!" exclaimed Yukari.

Mamoru tried stepping forward, but Saori held him by the arm. Preventing him from making any further progress. He glared at her, desperate and struggling. She would not let go.

 **"Chariot, you do not know what you are defending,"** taunted Theodore. **"A monster, wearing human skin."**

"Kazushi," I throated out, startling my friend, "stop."

"No! I'm not gonna let you take this guy on alone!" cried Kazushi. "I've been in sparring sessions with Makoto! He's helped me out during one of the roughest patches in my life! Guy's not a monster! He doesn't even have a tail! Don't lump him in with you freaks!"

"Kaz!" begged Kenji.

"Kazushi, get out of the way!" I screamed. "He'll kill you!"

Theodore chuckled. **"He's still trying so hard to deny his own monstrosity."**

"You shut up right now!" Yukari exclaimed, putting her Evoker to her head.

Before she was able to pull the trigger, Theodore made another statement which delayed her just enough. His voice was grim and low. **"Do you have any right to say that to me? You were the very first of his teammates to deny his humanity."**

Yukari's eyes sharpened and her expression hardened into a scowl. " _Be quiet_ —!"

Kazushi noticed something before either Yukari or I could— "Takeba, wait—"

Little black thorns, emerging straight out from Theodore's hand. Rushing through the air, like bullets. Within half a second, Yukari's forearm was gored with these dark spikes, and she let out an agonized cry as her Evoker clattered to the ground.

"Yukari!" I cried. Kazushi and Mamoru ran to the sword pile, each grabbing a katana and waving their weapons at Theodore in their best attempts at being menacing. Saori ran over to Yukari, trying to help her out with her wounds. Kenji remained in the corner, utterly terrified. I just screamed, "I'll kill you!"

 **"Yes. You'll try to kill me. You'll swing your sword. You'll try to crush me to a pulp. Living a life of violence and death has worked out so well for you thus far, hasn't it?"** laughed Theodore. **"You can't kill me, however. None of you can. Philemon believes you and these, these upstarts can carve me to pieces? Don't make this situation any more laughable than it already is."**

"Actually, they can defeat you," cut in Philemon. "What they lack in experience, they'll make up for in numbers. I'd wager five minutes before the sleeping ones awaken. Putting into account Makoto's own power and experience, a coordinated attack against you would most likely kill you. If not—" Philemon's face twisted into one of hate, "—hurt you."

 **"You must be joking,"** bit back Theodore. **"Their Personas are nowhere near strong enough to hurt me. Look at them,"** he said, gesturing to the sweating Mamoru and Kazushi. **"They're threatening me with swords when they've never even fought in a real battle. Even Yuki and his companions were scraping by when they encountered The Reaper's Avatars. Have you forgotten what I've done to Elizabeth?"**

"No, I haven't. You, on the other hand, are unaware that you are also immature, self-righteous, conceited, stuck in the past, and prone to whining incessantly like a child," growled Philemon. Theodore just let out a snarl. Philemon grinned, "Struck a nerve, have I? To think...you, of all people, defied the laws of the Velvet Room. All for some girl."

At that, Theodore screamed, **"She was not just some girl!"** He thrust even more spikes at Philemon, only for each one to miss. **"How dare you!"**

"How dare _I_!?" Philemon roared. "You turned your back on the universe for the sake of one girl! One girl who was supposed to save it!"

 **"You took her away from me!"** Theodore screamed. **"You took her away and replaced her with him!"**

He pointed at me again.

"B-back off!" screamed Kazushi.

"Makoto, get outta here!" shouted Mamoru.

"What do you two think you're doing!?" I screamed.

Theodore snarled at me, **"Mistress Hamuko had never rendered anyone comatose! Every act of violence she committed was in the name of saving her allies! But you've done nothing but fight out of your own selfish, petty need for vengeance! And Philemon accepts you over her because you've _made more than five friends_!?"**

He backhanded Kazushi and sent him into the wall, right above Igor's head. Mamoru couldn't even react to that before Theodore grabbed his head and smashed it into the floor of the elevator.

A little "No," was all I could say.

"Oh, God, please," muttered Kenji.

 **"If you had never existed, she'd have lived!"** Theodore shouted, right in my face, as I glared into his black void of a mask. **"If you had never existed—!"**

At that, I'd had enough.

"And what did _you_ do to prevent her from going off the deep end?" I scornfully, disgustedly snarled. Theodore stopped speaking when he heard the tone of my voice. "What did you do to save _my_ sister?"

Philemon closed his eyes and smiled. Yukari and Saori's mouths gaped. Kenji was at a complete loss for words.

"Makoto...!" cried out Yukari. "Don't provoke him!"

"Makoto!" shouted Kenji. "Stop!"

"Yuki!" exclaimed Saori.

I ignored all of them. I didn't care. I didn't want to care. I was not going to take anything from this little gutter trash anymore.

My eyes were the eyes of unrelenting hate. Venomous, toxic to see. They brimmed with bloodlust; any dead-eyed individual unfortunate to catch their gaze would end up breaking down in horror.

Theodore answered like he'd rehearsed it. **"I could not give more than I had already given. As Igor's assistant in the Velvet Room at the time, I had to-"**

"You had a will of your own. You could have left the Room at any time. You could have consoled my sister, saved her, told her that she wasn't alone. But you didn't." I knew that I was pouring salt into the wound, and I loved every second of it.

Theodore scowled, grumbling pathetically, **"I had no choice. It was not-"**

"You had a choice." I knew that Theodore knew that his motives for being so openly defiant were completely fallacious. "You're choosing now to defy Philemon - having defected from the Room you had refused to abandon. You'd always had that choice. So, why only make that choice _now_?"

Theodore was now tensing. **"You know not...!"**

"Makoto!"

I laughed that condemning laugh of mine that I would normally let out during one of my slaughters. "You wouldn't give it up. You wanted to stay true to your duties, but it was all for naught. Philemon took everything away."

 **"Stop talking,"** was all Theodore could say, as he took a step back.

"'Stop talking. Stop talking. _Stop talking_!?' What are you, _five_!?" I shouted at him, kicking him in the sternum.

"Come on!" shouted Kenji. "You're gonna kill yourself!"

I snarled at my opponent, "You wanted to have it both ways. You wanted to stay true to yourself as Igor's assistant, yet you wanted to save Hamuko. But you weren't willing to sacrifice anything. And now she's dead, and you had the chance to save her all along, but you didn't take it-"

 **"I said, stop talking,"** Theodore repeated, his voice whining now.

I gritted my teeth, unable to stomach this disgusting display. "And you hate yourself for it, so you're going to kill me—"

 **"Stop it!"** roared Theodore, sounding like a child attempting to act tough.

I continued on, however, "—you're going to _kill me_ to make yourself feel better! You coward! You spineless wretch!"

 **"You dare—!?"** he grabbed my by my throat, lifting me up into the air.

Yukari exclaimed, " _No_!"

But I gripped his wrists. "My sister was willing to break space-time to save my life, and you're here, trying to end the life she'd tried to save!?" My hands turned white, and I felt something in his arms crack under the pressure of my grasp. "You did nothing to save her! You tried, but that's all you did. Try, and try, and try!" He unhanded me, and so I kicked him again, in the stomach, sending him away from me. "You were too afraid to sacrifice and bear the consequences! And now that you've lost her, now you fight. Only when she disappeared."

Theodore shuffled in his movements. He turned his head to Philemon. Then to me. Then to Yukari. Then to Kenji. Then to all around him. He glanced all over the Room. Like he'd forgotten what he had even been doing.

After a long silence, he just stared at the ground. He laid a hand on his black mask. After four seconds, the mask came off. I saw a face. An actual, humanlike face. He had sleek black eyes, with dark circles under them. There were black veins over his nose, over his eyelids, around his cheekbones. His skin was so pale and pasty that it looked like it was going to fall off at any moment. And his mostly bald head expanded and deflated with every breath he took.

Yukari cringed at it. Kenji looked like he wanted to puke. Saori put a hand to her mouth. Philemon's arms remained crossed.

I maintained my vile glare at him.

"...You had never seen her at her worst," he said, somberly. "I don't think you'd have been able to endure the sight. I saw everything. I saw her best, her worst, her most vicious, her most beautiful. She was a fire - one that burned through even the fabric of space and time. She was the most valuable specimen on this planet - an anomaly, compared to all the drones and liars and dead men walking. She was…precious. So very precious." He closed his eyes, nostalgically. He smiled a sad smile, running a hand through what little hair he had left. "I wanted to support her. I did my best. You may not believe me, but...I did what I could. I did not just try. I did my best to smile, when she would take the time to show me around the city. When she wept, I did my best to console her. It was no good. I knew I was no good, but I hoped that she...she had at least appreciated what I had done for her. I loved her. She loved me not - but...that mattered little. What was important was...her happiness. That was all that mattered to me." He said, his eyes locked on mine. Directly on mine. "And Philemon **_TOSSED HER ASIDE!_** "

"Crap!"

He smashed his foot down onto the floor of the Velvet Room. The elevator shook and trembled and seemed like it was going to crash down on all of us. Yukari and Saori and Kenji. Horror. Despair. Clean on their faces. I turned to Philemon. I nodded firmly. He smirked and snapped his fingers.

I'm sorry, I said silently to everyone, for having given them Personas.

 ** _"LIKE SHE WAS NOTHING! LIKE SHE WAS TRASH! AND HE REPLACED HER WITH YOU!"_** Philemon maintained his pose as the world shook. Igor had a somber, resigned expression on his face. **_"HOW COULD YOU UNDERSTAND HER PAIN!? HOW WOULD YOU KNOW!? YOU'RE STILL ALIVE! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND!"_**

"Then **_make me understand!"_**

I charged forward and again _kicked_ Theodore through the Velvet door he had broken down just a few minutes ago. My leg white, my vision turning grey, and my eyes turning yellow.

I turned to Philemon as I felt my insides being seared just by staying in the Room as he said, "It is done. I shall now fulfill my end of the bargain."

I nodded.

I ran through the door, and before I was truly able to begin my battle with one of the last remaining pieces of evidence that my sister was _alive_ , I heard Yukari call out my name.

" _Makoto!_ "

And once I was out, I slammed the door shut, so as to undo any attempt to turn back.

* * *

 **ARCANA CHAOS, PART III: ABYSS.**

* * *

And then Fuka found me.

 _=/= Yuki-kun!? =/=_

I heard her voice as I stepped into a land of lava. Stone walls, pouring down molten red-hot waterfalls. The world smelled sulfuric and my skin was being scalded by the minute. Sweat was now running down my body almost endlessly. The world was burning my body. Frying me alive. But I ignored it. I ignored the pain. I had to. The monster before me needed to die.

Theodore pried himself up from the lava pool I'd kicked him into. His body was unharmed from the heat. Not even a singe on him. He marched through the lake of fire and pierced his demonic black eyes into mine. A kind of hate in his expression no human could possibly replicate. He then plugged his black mask onto his face, and balled his fists upon returning them to his sides.

 _=/= Yuki-kun, get out of there! He's...he's too strong for you! =/=_

I stood defiantly, _Animus_ in my left hand and my blade in my right.

"Tell me," I began, my voice condescending, "why should a monster like you have the right to cry?"

 **"Because we all bleed. One way or another."**

And as he transformed into his titanic and terrible form, a plan formulated in my head. A million-to-one shot plan. But my only one.

Theodore defeated Elizabeth, despite her Personas being much more powerful than mine. Despite her giving her all. Despite her doing everything she needed to in order to defeat him. But she could not. Because he was her brother. I, on the other hand, wanted him dead. Needed him dead.

Fuka was screaming at me to get myself out of there, but I didn't want to listen to her. I refused to. This needed to be done.

My Personas were incapable of killing him, considering just how _powerful_ he was. Attacking him head-on in a combined attack with Personas of mine would hopefully deal damage, but it wouldn't do enough to outright kill him. The best I could do at this point in time was merely hold him off. If God was willing enough to give me that much.

He wanted me dead. He'd get his wish in less than a fraction of a second, if I wasn't careful. A creature of his size and strength would squash me flat if I were slow enough.

I could hold him off. I could delay him enough for everyone back in the Room to go and save the remaining hostages. Then, I could run through the door and make my escape through there. But then that meant hoping Theodore wouldn't follow me. That meant hoping Theodore wouldn't give chase, and make his way through to the outside world through the Velvet door back in Tartarus' lobby. That meant hoping Theodore wouldn't rampage throughout the city and slaughter thousands upon thousands of innocents out of sheer spite.

And that was far too much to hope for, I realized.

Once he returned to becoming the kilometer-high Night Horse, his red eyes burned into mine. His gigantic frame towered over me, and all I could do was look upon his monstrous and demonic form while trying to quell the fear welling up inside of me. A giant shadow (the type of shadow that didn't start with a capital letter) covered me. Covered the world, it seemed.

And as he growled, as he frothed at the mouth, as he neared his head to mine, as he burrowed his hateful glare into me, I found a way to kill him.

Elizabeth needed to be alive. When she had been absorbed into Theodore, her hands remained on a Compendium containing Personas much more powerful than mine _._ Personas that were more than capable of landing massive blows onto massive Shadows. If I were to find her, I'd find that Compendium and be able to use it to hopefully rip my newest foe apart. Or at least put him out of commission for a very long time.

Meaning that I had to hope that Elizabeth was still alive, that her hands were still attached to that Compendium, and that Elizabeth's Personas were actually going to work this time around.

Again. Far too much to hope for. But I believed that it was better than having everyone else here and risking their lives in trying to stop this beast.

 _It wants me_. _Only me._

And I was going to give it everything I had.

 _=/= Yuki-kun, run now,_ please _—! =/=_

I opened _Animus_ and flipped through every page, before slamming the book shut.

Orpheus. Forneus. Jack Frost. Pyro Jack. Inugami. Oumitsunu. Titan. Tam Lin. Angel. Apsaras. Forneus. Zouchouten. Eligor. Vetala. Thor. Chimera. Even Pixie.

Thor, propping me on his back, raised his hammer. Orpheus lifted his lyre with a placid expression. Forneus' tail crackled with ice. Angel's hands were alit with a blinding white light. Apsaras and Jack Frost made the air cold with their presences alone. Pyro Jack's lantern burned bright blue. Vetala let out a thundering cry, befitting that of a demonic war elephant. Tam Lin unsheathed her blade, glaring at the giant stallion before her. Zouchouten, Oumitsunu, and Titan all got into battle stances. Eligor sat elegantly yet ferociously atop his demonic steed, as said demonic steed whinnied in a glorious call for battle. Inugami swirled around Chimera, whose three heads roared in their rage.

And Pixie floated effervescently next to me.

All powerful Personas. All monsters, in their own little ways. Powerful beasts. But not powerful enough to kill him. Not powerful enough to all land a particularly fatal blow upon him. All of them were capable of hitting hard. What the weaker ones lacked in size, they made up for in strength. They'd fought countless other Shadows before Theodore. Countless other monstrosities. The stronger ones were quite capable on their own. And Thor on his own was a completely different story.

Out from the lava pit rose one of Theodore's massive hooves, capable of flattening an entire village within a second. As it lifted, it slowed more and more in its movements, and I took this as an opportunity to call for help.

"Fuka!" I shouted, making sure to call her by her first name to really get her attention. "Find me a weak spot on this guy!"

 _=/= Wh-what!? /=/_

"Just _do it_!" I screamed, Thor and my other Personas rising up into the air, forced to be quick about things.

After being lifted upwards a _considerable_ distance above me, the hoof stopped at a certain point. Like a roller coaster hitting its peak during one of its rides.

 _=/= Makoto, don't...! =/=_

"This is all I can do, you have to _trust me_!"

The hoof was now plummeting downward at a speed something as gigantic as Theodore couldn't have _possibly_ made in accordance to the laws of physics—

 _=/= Yuki-kun! =/=_

" _Scramble_!" My Personas ran out of dodge, all managing to evade the splashdown of the hoof. Lava and rocks kicked up into the air as my monsters were merely singed by the heat. Thor brought himself and me a sizeable distance backwards.

"Fuka, please, _I need you to help me_!" I begged, a mix between impatience and utter fear of my impending death painting my voice.

 _=/= H-his neck! It's_ — _it's vulnerable! =/=_

 _Of course!_ "Thanks!"

 _=/= Wait, what're you going to—!? =/=_

And I sucked in a gigantic breath of air, before letting out a massive " _CHARGE_!"

 _I know you can hear me._

And in a second, I and my Personas made a massive dash to Theodore's neck. The neck Elizabeth had completely just eviscerated earlier. Orpheus wielded his lyre as if it were a greatsword as he let out a horrific cry of rage. Tam Lin, Zouchouten, Oumitsunu, and Titan all roared like the warriors they were as they barrelled forward. Pyro Jack created a miniature inferno in his lantern while Jack Frost generated a tiny blizzard in his palms, the two of them letting out their own battle cries.

 _I know what I did. What I said. What I will not apologize for._

Inugami blazed as electricity engulfed his form, and Chimera let out an animalistic snarl as he lunged forward with fangs bared. Angel's blonde hair flowed through the air as her white-hot hands grew bright enough to light up the whole world. Forneus swarmed forward, with Pixie on his back, as the two charged an ice and a wind attack, respectively.

 _But this is not about me_ _anymore_ , I told the little boy inside my head. _This is not about either of us anymore._ _Lives that matter more than mine hang in the balance._ Thor's hammer burned with lightning, a thunderous noise growing louder and louder as he and every other Persona at his side charged forward. And I pulled my fist back.

 _I can't let them die. So, please._

We rushed forward so quickly we charred the air, our bodies burning and frying through the land of lava and cutting through the world itself. _Allow me to black everything out._ I screamed as the color white filled my arm. _Allow me to forget myself._

I closed my eyes in pain as the veins in my arms burst open _—_ red and red and red and red and red and red.

 _=/= Makoto, NO! =/=_

I gritted my teeth and I screamed through the pain. You _can kill me. You can crush my insides to pulp. You can rip and tear my body into pieces. You can drive me insane. You can make me bleed. You can destroy the very fabric of my being and make it such that I never existed. Just make me strong._

 _Just...make from me...the **strongest monster you can.**_

And with a rage that could break the sky, a voice that could turn cities to rubble, and a power that could bring all men to their knees out of sheer fear—

"ELI _ZAB **ETH!"**_

—I punched the throat of a giant horse. I and sixteen voracious beasts that were formed from my psyche.

The skull on the front of the Night Horse's neck burst open in a slew of fragments as the creature itself let out an agonized scream, one that sounded like a thousand souls wailing while trapped in the fires of Hell itself. I and my sixteen Personas collectively burrowed through Theodore's throat like we were a drill, slicing and shredding and lacerating through his black insides.

Theodore reared his head up as he wailed and heaved, thrashing about in pain as the seventeen monsters blazing through to his guts rampaged on and on. He hacked and he coughed, black blood bubbling and frothing at his horse-mouth as it flooded down his jawline. Lurching his head downward, he let out a vicious and guttural growl as he bellowed out a great many words in rage. Words spoken in a language I could not understand, a language that I could not bear to even hear.

Theodore had hooves. He couldn't just reach inside of himself and rip me out. There was only one logical thing he could do in this situation.

He made a _hurrk_ sound, and vomited.

Black blood spilled from Theodore's mouth like a dam had burst. Flooding the world. Covering the land in a sea of what looked and felt like tar. Within a few minutes of violent upchucking, the whole of the area was drowned in a sea of thick tar. Having swarmed the land like a flash flood.

Fuka was silent. For a very long time. Just surveying the scene in shock, in awe, and in complete horror. Before she recomposed herself. Before she remembered that I was stuck inside the black tar, somewhere, perhaps dead, perhaps alive. _=/= Yuki-kun! =/=_ she reached my mind, calling out to me. _=/= Yuki-kun...! Makoto, can you hear me!? =/=_

I burst out of the black, bleeding out red from my mouth and my eyes and my arms and my legs with black sludge all over me and my body. Still gripping my Compendium. The only Personas that were able to survive being inside Theodore were Thor, Titan, Oumitsunu, and Vetala. Everyone else drowned in the torrent of the black vomit and the ensuing force.

Indeed, I felt like my body had suffered through a flood in the middle of a typhoon before becoming sucked into a hurricane. My body hissed and bled and burst out blood, small explosions in my limbs and my guts. My eyes were on fire and all I could do was make incoherent sounds that sounded less like words and more like the screams one would make if his heart were ever pierced by a branding tool. I breathed and I breathed, sucking in air and expelling it in desperation as something hot surged in my neck and in my lungs.

 _S **to** p it, **st** op **it, st** op it, that's **enough, that's enough** , that's **eno** ugh **, tha** t's **enough,** STOP IT!_

Fifteen seconds. Twenty seconds. Thirty seconds of pain.

 _Stop it. Stop it._ Please _._

And then I opened my eyes again to find that my skin was its natural color again. I was still bleeding out, however. Still exhausted. Still in no shape to fight again whatsoever. But I was alive.

I turned my head, now on my knees, after having gotten myself a rocky surface that was above the flood. Oumitsunu and Thor, both blackened and bloodstained, each held one person. In Thor's massive hands, Elizabeth. Unconscious. Breathing. Alive. In Oumitsunu's hands was someone else, someone I spent far more time with than Elizabeth. My Emperor Social Link.

"Odagiri-senpai."

 _=/= What...? =/=_

He was lathered in black. His eyes were open. And empty.

I grabbed at him as Oumitsunu set him down on the stone that I'd gotten myself onto, and I brought my hand to his neck. His pulse. He should have been dead by now. He wasn't breathing. His chest was as flat as a board. Flat as a board. Was he alive? Was he still alive? His pulse. His _pulse_. It wasn't there.

I pressed my head against his chest. No heartbeat. No nothing. Nothing at all.

 _No. No, it can't be. God, please._

I pressed my hands down on his chest, unknowing the proper procedure of CPR and only working off my knowledge of films and other media's interpretations of it. Not knowing that I was breaking his chest apart under the pressure. Not knowing that his ribs were cracking and being utterly splintered by my efforts, crumbling to pieces. But it didn't matter.

None of it mattered at all.

"Dammit," I grunted. " _Dammit_!"

He had been only a year older than I was. He had had parents. Friends. A life. A life, in school. He had been _someone_. I'd just gotten to know him. He couldn't have been dead, I reasoned. He shouldn't have been.

"Please, God," I pressed my head to his chest again. Nothing. "Please, God," I kept on applying pressure to his chest, deliberately being deaf to Fuka's sobs. "Come on! Please, I'm begging You, here!"

 _He can't be._ _He shouldn't be. He didn't deserve any of this. He didn't deserve any of this._ _No! **NO!**_ "No, no, _no, NO_ , _ **NO!"** God, please, he didn't deserve any of this! He's just a kid! Like me! Why him!? **Why him and not me!?**_ ** _Why would you let this happen!?_** _Why? Why? I don't understand...!_ I don't understand _!_

 _=/= Makoto... =/=_ Fuka wept. _=/= I'm sorry...I...he's... =/=_

"Don't say it," I grunted, tears falling down my face as well. "Please, Fuka, I...please..."

 _=/= I'm sorry...! I'm so sorry...! =/=_

I knelt there. Defeated and weeping. There was just no point in trying anymore.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to destroy something. Anything. I wanted to break the world into two. I wanted to crush something, _some **one**_ , but I couldn't. I was too exhausted to move. Too exhausted to scream or destroy anything. Too heartbroken to continue.

Hidetoshi hadn't been my closest friend. Not by a long shot. But he had been my friend. He had been one of the first Social Links I'd made during my time here.

The worst part of it all was that I realized that if I had literally never met him, he might have still been alive. If he had never been my friend, he'd never have selected by the Shadows to be taken into the tower. Into the Monad Block. He might have been able to live a fulfilled life. He might have had a family. He might have gone to a special college, gotten a high-paying job, done everything he'd have ever wanted to do in life.

And because of me, all of that was gone now. Erased. Everything he had ever been, was, and would have been.

"It's not your fault."

I lifted my head up.

Elizabeth.

I gazed upon her helplessly, pitifully. Tears streaming down my face. My knees too weak to even prop me on my feet.

"I'm so sorry for your loss," she said, walking over to my left. She knelt down.

"What was the point of putting him here only to take him away so soon?" I seethed at her, the tears just refusing to stop falling and flooding my eyes. "And like _this_...? It's not fair."

She closed her eyes. "I don't know."

We stayed like that, for the longest time. Because nothing else...seemed to matter.

* * *

 _"A man without position, honor, or education...what can he cling to as he struggles through life?"_

 _"...Himself?" I answered, hoping the question wasn't rhetorical._

 _Hidetoshi smirked, "'Sincerity,' a man once told me. Do you want to know what happened to that man? While gathering information for a story, a TV anchorwoman was injured on the job. The executives for the TV station called it an 'unfortunate accident.'"_

 _"I...see." In truth, I didn't, but...I didn't know what else to say._

 _"But when a magazine learned they were hiding something, the execs pointed the finger at the script writer. They said it was the writer who had concealed the truth; he was made into a scapegoat. That man is currently serving time for perjury. It was he who taught me the meaning of sincerity."_

 _"That's...a rather tragic fate."_

 _"Oh, yes indeed," Hidetoshi turned bitter and gripped the windowsill. "In today's society, the weak are preyed upon by the strong. You can't survive on sincerity alone." His grip tightened for a second or so before loosening and turning to me, his disgusted tone of voice turning into a more jovial, friendly one. "As for me, I'd like to build a corporation where everyone is treated fairly. But, to do that, I'd need enough power to make my vision a reality."_

* * *

And then I stood up.

Elizabeth looked at me solemnly as my face hardened and my red eyes sharpened. I turned my head over to the Compendium she had with her.

She stared at it, then at me, her eyes widening and her lips pursing. And when she came to terms with how I was not going to show any mercy to her brother, she nodded sadly, weakly. Limply. "Permission granted."

 **"I'll kill you,"** Theodore managed out, mangling his sentence with a new and abhorrent kind of drawl to his beastly voice. **"I'll kill you all, ruin you, decimate you, eat you, crush you, rape you, rip you to shreds, rain the city with your limbs, eating life** **—"**

" _Wah-wah_ ," I mock-cried, flipping through the hundreds of pages of Elizabeth's Compendium. " _Mommy, he ate my ice cream_." And then I slammed it shut. _**"SHUT THE HELL UP!"**_

Giants. Tall enough to wreck cities. Large enough to invade worlds. Powerful enough to conquer planets. Monstrous enough to be called demons.

What were hundreds of pages gave way to hundreds of monstrosities. Monstrosities with multiple heads, multiple wings, multiple eyes, multiple legs. Monsters with arms larger than the rest of their bodies. Monsters that looked like abominations. It was like the book itself had been a container for Hell's demons, and I'd just let all of them loose. Indescribable things. Indescribable masses. A swarm of nightmares.

They charged forward and before either Theodore or I knew it, he was being destroyed, ripped apart, torn to shreds. The world shook and trembled, an earthquake forming just from the massacre alone. Theodore's gigantic body, being feasted on, being ravaged, being impaled, being dissected, being eviscerated, being utterly ruined. A glorious, chaotic destruction. There was not to be a single remaining piece of him left. Not even a cell of him was to survive.

 _All of him. Destroy all of him._

And as I watched the carnage with nary a smile on my face nor even a hint of mad laughter, the worst possible thing happened at the worst possible moment.

Theodore found a way to fight back.

He roared only one word. One word which was able to end just everything.

 _ **"ARMAGEDDON!"**_

"What—!?"

The world turned into a blinding, burning light, cracking a hole through reality itself, it seemed. Nothingness. A vast darkness, like a black hole. Draining everything. A hole in space-time, one that spoke lies and tragedies, weeping incessantly and screaming unstoppably. And as the air broke and form turned formless, as the hundreds of Personas that had unleashed their wrath were now sucked into the aether, as a gigantic cloud of smoke and void emerged from where Theodore was, I gave a blank stare and was completely willing to let God take me.

And then Elizabeth grabbed me and held me as everything turned white, and black, and all manner of colors.

* * *

"I'm sorry." I opened my eyes upon hearing those two words. And blinked. I was in a kneeling embrace. A one-sided kneeling embrace, one directed by Elizabeth.

I pulled my gaze around. Smoke and soot smothered the air. The world was now a thick gray, everything having gone to ash. Everything having been completely ruined. The walls had stopped spewing lava, the black gunk and the lava beneath it that had flooded the world having completely gone as well. Absolutely nothing remained and Elizabeth and I were sitting on that same rocky landscape, which had been made even more unstable and uneven from the mortifying explosion.

Terrified, helpless, I turned my head to look up at her. "Is he dead?" I asked her, uncaring how she had managed to survive the blast. "Is he gone...?"

"No," she said, after a small period of silence. "He still breathes. He's not yet dead."

I scowled, closing my eyes and freeing myself from the embrace. "Then it's not enough," I raved. And as I marched off to look for _Animus_ and the other book, I heard Elizabeth heave out a sigh.

I turned to her; her skin was pale, and she was kneeling. Clutching at her chest, right where the heart was supposed to be. She saw me, and then the pained expression on her face softened. She stood up, her legs shaky, and she reached into the pocket of her uniform. Pulling out both _Animus_ and her own Compendium.

I went over to her and snatched both Compendiums right out of her hands. Not caring to notice the dark circles under her eyes, or the dullness of her pupils. And I turned back, ready to finish the battle, ready to end everything. I ran. I ran a distance of sixteen feet, before I realized that she had dark circles under her eyes and dull pupils and pale skin and a weakened constitution. I then turned back, and found Elizabeth on the ground.

Breathing faintly.

"Oh, God." I ran back, dashing back, something gripping my heart and my lungs as I made my sprint. "No, no, no."

* * *

 _"Oh, are you feeling unwell?"_

 _"Elizabeth," I began, "where were you the whole time I was here?"_

 _"I had explored this mall and discovered that this place was host to a trinity of fountain spirits! So I had poured all the yen in this wallet into all the fountains I could find!"_

 _As I got up from my seat, she continued speaking to me._

 _"Thank you for the invaluable experiences you have given me today...I consider this mission fully accomplished. This may sound forward, but...I would like to accompany you again, sometime. Here," she handed me a small cheongsam, "is your reward. This allows you to fuse the Persona Hua Po, of the Magician Arcana. She is a charming Persona, combining the looks of a sweet girl with powerful abilities."_

 _"Thank you, Elizabeth," I said._

 _Elizabeth then re-entered the blue hallway and returned to the Velvet Room, vanishing in a bright turquoise light._

* * *

I grabbed her, I held her, I kept her close to me. She reciprocated this at first, pulling me into yet another embrace. "Members of the Velvet Room have a...resistance to these kinds of attacks, Master," she smiled sadly. "We can share this resistance with others. If we so choose."

Then, her embrace turned limp, and she started leaning on me. "E-Elizabeth?"

"Master...will you be...fine, on your own?"

 _God. Please. Not her._ "...Liz...?"

"I didn't just share it with you," she breathed. "I gave everything to you."

 _No. No, please._ "Not you, too." I said, widening my eyes.

"I won't be able to...keep myself any longer," she weakly muttered, her weight now like that of an anvil, and I couldn't help, couldn't help but lay her onto the ground.

* * *

 _"W-what's this!?" Elizabeth exclaimed, interrupting me. "Please watch your step, there's a pitfall just ahead!"_

 _"...A pitfall?"_

 _And Elizabeth, grabbing me by the arm, charged straight for...a manhole._

 _"Here it is, in the center of this fenced-off area," she said. True to her words, there was a giant hole in the ground. It wasn't really a danger though, since there were caution fences surrounding the thing. "These barriers are marked in eye-catching signs which state in bold print, 'do not enter!' Humans frequently crave that which is forbidden to them...do they not? This is a crafty snare, one which goes against the common notion that pitfalls should be hidden..."_

 _"Elizabeth, it's called a-"_

 _"A stairway that tests one's wits and a pitfall that tests one's inner strength..." Elizabeth continued to fawn over the mundane things surrounding her. "Human authorities have a great deal to contend with in their quest to defend the town's law and order. I'm very moved by their plight."_

 _"...Yeah. That's...that's good...," I had no idea how to deal with this woman._

 _But she was cute, I admitted._

 _"Let us continue forth, our thoughts dedicated to the unsung heroes who love this town so very much...," Elizabeth smiled, walking along her merry way._

 _"Alright then," I said, following her. "Where would you like to go next?"_

* * *

"No, no, no, no, Elizabeth, _Elizabeth_!" I grabbed at her hand. "Why...!?" was all I could ask her. "Why would you do this to yourself!?"

"Because...," she, breathing heavily, laid a hand on my shoulder. A hand that was decaying. A hand that was corroding. It was falling apart, slowly turning into dust, into sandy things. "You. Need. To save. This world. For your sister. For your friends...for...me...," she smiled, she smiled, _again_ , she smiled. "For all of us."

"Elizabeth, stop! Don't!" I embraced her. "Don't do this! Don't leave me! Please don't leave me...! You can't die! I can't...I can't...! Not again! Please, Elizabeth!"

"I'm sorry," again, was all she said. "I'm sorry."

"'Sorry!?'" I cried, into her shoulder. "Why are you apologizing!? _Stop it_!"

"I'm sorry I cannot serve you any more than I already have," she weakly heaved out, each word sounding like it took her all of her strength. "I'm sorry I could not be there for you when you need me. I'm sorry for keeping your sister's fate a secret. I'm sorry for never telling you anything when you needed to hear everything. I'm sorry for still... _still_ having to hide things from you...even now...even as I lay here...before you." Tears started welling up in her eyes, and she took a deep breath in. Her face deteriorating. Breaking apart. "I'd have loved to have visited more places with you. I'd have loved to have gone around the city with you."

* * *

 _"Cuisine so luscious that one's cheeks fall off...!" Her cuteness level reached beyond a thousand. On a scale of one to one hundred. "Such a result would definitely cause havoc in reality, but I would definitely like to experience this!"_

 _"Alright then," I began reaching for my wallet, "two tako-"_

 _"That won't be necessary, Master," Elizabeth interrupted me. "I'm sorry for not telling you this earlier, but...I've brought my own wallet."_

Oh no _. She brought out that blue bulging purse that she had with her back when I'd taken her to Paulownia._

 _And it looked thicker than how it had been last time._

 _"Please don't tell me you're buying that many..."_

 _"I've never actually seen a person who has actually lost his or her cheeks," she reasoned. "This must mean that the ordinary citizen cannot easily buy these cheek-dropping meals."_

 _"One package costs only 400 yen," I bluntly told her._

 _"...Oh. Really?" She darted her eyes over to the price listings. Then back at the owner. "W-well then...two packages, please."_

* * *

... _No._ _NO!_ _No, please, God, it can't be, please, no!_

"You still can...," I breathed out, crying again, dying again, "You still can! There's so much you haven't seen yet! I...I, you haven't even visited my school! It's, it's larger than life...! It's got tons of people, great people, people you'd befriend! People you'd...people you'd love to meet!" I frantically said, not even trying to hold back my tears. "I...I, you haven't even gone to the shrine...! You haven't met Junpei or Yukari or Akinari or, or Kazushi! They'd have loved to meet you! I know it...! So, please...!" I pleaded, helplessly, "Please, isn't there anything I can do...!? Can't I...!?"

I grabbed her Compendium and flipped it around, as many pages as possible. Hoping to find a Persona I recognized, a Persona I knew had a healing spell. But as her face crumbled even more, as her body turned to dust in my hands, as her eyes deteriorated and her hair fell out and her nose sank into her face, she put her hand on my cheek and gave it one last hold.

And then she said clearly, more clearly than anything else she'd ever said to me before:

"You can't heal this. Not with spells. I'm sorry. I can't stay with you. Not as I am. But I want you to know that despite our arguments, our disagreements, our lashings out at each other, and our general conflicts...I want you to know...that I would not give up a single moment I had as your servant."

 _This can't be happening. This can't be happening. God, please, this can't be happening._

* * *

 _"Master Yuki, you...you just can't do this!"_

 _Miserably, in a moment of extreme and unacceptable pride, I laughed back, "Why can't I do this? Not like they'd know. I could keep it all to myself."_

 _She looked ready to weep. "If...if they were truly your friends, you wouldn't violate them in such a horrid way. You loved them, didn't you?"_

 _"I thought I did, too. Just do it."_

 _"Master, I cannot allow you to do this! It's...it's wrong and ungrateful-!"_

 _"Ungrateful!?" I bolted up from my seat. "I let myself blow up for those people and I've saved their lives several hundred times over. But all they've ever done for me lately was treat me like crap or worse! And you call me ungrateful!? Besides, I think I deserve it, don't I? They haven't even been through a fraction of what I've gone through. Not even a fraction. If they dofind out, maybe then they'll know how it feels like to be me. How it feels like to be used. Besides, I'm not even considering probing all of them. Just everyone excluding Fuka and Yuka."_

 _"Don't you dare justify what you're - ! This - this is a vile, disgusting, sickening thing you're planning!"_

 _"Elizabeth, I want you to get this through into your thick skull, because you really do need to hear this," I cleared my throat, "I. Don't. Care!"_

 _"Master Yuki...how," Elizabeth choked back a few tears, "how could you?"_

 _"Through a combination of frustration and desperation," I spat. "Now. Do it."_

* * *

"You never should have saved me," I said, to the clothes that once belonged to Elizabeth, to the dust pile that had once _been_ Elizabeth, "You deserved better...you deserved more. More than a monster like me."

* * *

 _Igor's assistant, the blue-clad elevator attendant who resembled a bellhop, left the room with an air of elegance about her - and she had a Compendium of her own. Completely different from mine, this compendium was a stark indigo for its hardbound cover - and the only form of decoration was the outline of an eye on the front._

* * *

"Please...," I said, for the thousandth time tonight, even though it wasn't going to help, even though it was a futile effort, even though Elizabeth's remains had already scattered to the winds, "Please...Elizabeth...!"

* * *

 _She walked over to me and gave a hand over, "Please, don't look so downtrodden, Master. As I've already told you, you look so much better when you smile."_

 _And she gave a smile of her own._

* * *

And I just sat there. Empty. Hollow. Gone. Gripping blue clothes and white ashes, flocks of platinum blonde hair at my feet. Not paying heed to the noise going on behind me, not caring to hear the battle taking place at my back.

Theodore's writhing, shambling, crumbling body was but a few hundred meters away from me. He wasn't dead, not even dying—critically injured, maybe, but I could imagine a Shadow of his caliber coming back from what I'd wrought onto him. I stared at his body as it fell apart. I stared at it for an uncomfortably long time, my eyes not blinking even once.

Who was to say he wasn't going to come back? What if this was my final chance to end him, kill him then and there? To stop him from endangering anyone else?

It was at this moment I realized that someone was tugging on my arm, calling out my name. I turned.

Yukari.

* * *

 _"Well, yeah…um…," Yukari tensed up again, her voice entreating into softness. She kept her legs shut and put her hands on her knees, her eyes then meeting her hands. "I'm sorry about what happened…I should've done a better job of defending you…but your power…," she lifted her head to me, her eyes meeting mine and showing some form of..._ admiration _? "It was amazing!"_

* * *

I didn't know how she had gotten there. I didn't care to know. She was there, however. Just there.

She was saying things I wasn't hearing and looking at me with an expression I wasn't even bothering to register. All I could think about was how dead she and everyone else was going to be if I were to allow this one last chance to vanish. Images flooded my mind of me seeing her corpse flayed about, dismembered, hung out to dry, completely obliterated. Her face mashed into a mirror, shards of glass piercing through her eyes and her brain and her nose and her cheeks. Bleeding from the chest, the sternum. Me, standing over her corpse, blood on my hands. And it was at the peak of my horror that her words finally managed to reach me.

"—snap out of it! Come on! We've gotta go—!" She then stopped talking, because I just ended up staring at her for the longest time. I knew that I wasn't going to get another chance to. "What are you doing?" she managed out, looking around her frantically before returning her eyes to me. "What are you looking at?"

* * *

 _"…we call it 'Persona.' We'll explain everything you need to know later. Sorry I didn't tell you about it before…"_

 _Some part of me was ecstatic to finally find some answers to this miserable mess, but the more prominent part of me took notice of Yukari's sudden bout of nervousness._

 _"I..." Yukari fidgeted uneasily, like she was trying to say something but couldn't find the words._

 _I couldn't be rude and to-the-point now. It seemed important. "What's bothering you?" I asked._

 _"I wanted to tell you that…I'm…I'm sort of like you." Yukari faced me with sad eyes and started, with a somber tone, "My dad died, when I was little. There was a big explosion in the area, and he supposedly died in the blast. Ever since, my mom and I haven't been on really good terms…you're all alone too, right?"_

* * *

 _Dammit._ "I can't." _Dammit!_ "Yukari, get out of here." _Dammit all!_

Yukari's face said it all, but she decided to speak up anyway, "I'm not gonna go without you!" She started tugging harder.

"Yukari—"

"You can't fight that thing!" she yelled in a scolding, explaining tone of voice, "It's too big—!"

"Haven't you seen what I've done to him _already_?" I shrugged her arm away. "If I let this chance go, he's going to keep on coming after us. I'm ending this now. You have to get out, now." I whipped my head around, to Theodore's writhing and gigantesque form.

"I can't just leave you alone here, with him...!"

I told her, "I've got one more trick up my sleeve. I have to go alone," I told her with finality. And that was met with a slap to my face.

"What are you talking about!?" she screamed at me as I stroked my stinging right cheek.

"Don't argue with me." Pathetic comeback, I know, but I literally had nothing else to say. "Please."

"Is this your way of 'making things right again!?'" she continued, and a fire started boiling in me as she said that. "Letting yourself die — is that going to fix what happened to—!?"

I almost raged at her again like I had at Yakushima, but I didn't, because if I was going to proceed with this suicide mission of mine, the last thing I wanted to do to Yukari was blow up in her face. She deserved so much better than that. So, I just interrupted her with, "Don't say that, please — just go, leave — "

"I am not going to leave you here—!"

"Yes, yes you are," I ordered her. "Or else he'll kill all of you."

She looked at me like I'd just said something stupid. " _He_ 's going to kill _you_!"

I almost said _Good,_ but I didn't, because doing so would've made her chew me out even more than she already was. "I'm not going to let anyone else die because of me again. I've got a plan. It will work, I think. You have to trust me."

She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. "You're not even trusting _me_ to help _you_!"

* * *

 _"I never thought I'd be able to tell this to anyone. I was so used to keeping it all inside that I thought it wouldn't matter anymore, even if I did tell someone."_

 _"So, you told me because you figured it would be best?" she questioned._

 _"No. I told you...because I knew I could trust you." Yukari looked rather surprised at that comment. "Trust, for me, is...really hard to come by," I told her. "I trust very few people. Even if I would end up trusting someone, I'd trust them with very little." That time where I'd told Junpei I had a crush on Yukari at the Junes stand was an exception. "But...I have the feeling I can trust you."_

 _"...Oh." Her cheeks turned bright red. "T-that's...thank you."_

 _"You're welcome."_

 _…A slightly awkward silence then reigned throughout the room._

 _"Hey...," Yukari said. "Want to hang at the mall? We could continue talking there."_

 _"What's wrong with talking here?" I asked._

 _"Nothing, but, I have the feeling we both need...you know, a little energy boost right now. And staying here doesn't seem like a good place for that." she replied. "C'mon, it'll be just the two of us."_

 _"...You mean, like a date?"_

* * *

" _You've done enough_!" I said to her, shouting now.

You don't know how much I didn't want to be alone, how much I wanted her with me. How desperately I wanted to tell her three stupid words. I didn't want to risk it, though. If I told her, she'd hate me for the rest of her life. And I knew for sure that this was going to be my final battle.

* * *

 _"Makoto...," I heard Yukari's voice say. "Please...," she sniffled out through baited breaths and a weeping, shaky tone, "don't leave me again..."_

* * *

She opened her mouth once more in an attempt to say something else that would justify her being there with me — but I stopped her. "Months ago, you told me, 'Please don't leave me again.'" She stopped speaking, instead staring at me like I'd stabbed her in the heart. "I won't. I'll come back, I promise."

That was all I could say — all I could think of saying, to persuade her to let me go. And as I cruelly, despicably lied to her, I couldn't help but quiver in the knowledge that I was never going to be able to tell her how I truly felt—

"I love you."

 _..._

My eyes widened, and my heart dropped. I started breathing heavily, confused and scared. Hearing those three words come from her, here and now, was like a massive whiplash. I blinked as something in my brain made itself known with a mighty and powerful—

 ** _*SMASH!*_**

 ** _"The Lovers Arcana hast been fully restored...  
_** ** _Thine bond hast strengthened further from this renewal...  
_** ** _Thou shalt be blessed when thou imbue thyself with the Lovers Arcana..."_**

* * *

 _"There's gonna be a full moon a few days from now."_

 _"Yeah." That was all I could say. I didn't know a more proper response._

 _And we just ended up standing there, in silence, for a while. The sun was beginning to set around us, and a cold air reached our nerves._

 _I wanted to say something - something that would break the silence and bring us back to the happy place I had so desperately wanted us to stay in. But, like Yakushima, words escaped me. The happiness I had thought was irreplacable vanished in just a second, and a cloying mire of regret returned to me._

 _I hung my head low as my hands grasped the rails of the roof. I didn't want Yukari to see my face._ _And then, the unexpected happened._ _Yukari's arms crossed around my chest as she pressed herself up against my back._ _I blinked, and she didn't give me even a second to respond to this because she said words which took all the words I would have said and shut them all out._

 _"I trust you. After everything that's happened...I want you to know that I trust you."_

 _Not knowing how to react, I simply nodded and murmured out, "Uh-huh," with a weak and unstable voice._

* * *

I opened _Animus_. Page one. I opened it without bringing the book up into her face. So she wouldn't see. So she couldn't see.

"Please don't let everything rest on your shoulders," she begged me, gripping me by my collar. "We can help you, let us help you! You're not alone in this—!"

I kissed her.

Mostly because I did return her feelings. Partly because I needed to distract her. "I know. I was never alone," I told her, as she stared at me, as I took to memorizing every single little detail in her face. "That's why I can't let you. I can only hope that one day, you'll forgive me."

"Makoto—"

I closed _Animus_.

Orpheus immediately bolted out of the book and grabbed Yukari, snatching her and sending her a hundred miles away from me. She screamed my name and stretched her hand out, trying to grab me, trying to pull me with her. I knew then and there that even if I were to come back from this alive, she and I would never have anything together. Not a friendship. Not even a relationship.

Nothing less than what I deserved.

And when I turned back, when I ran to my target, when I ran through the smoke and the soot and the thickness of the grey air, I closed both of my Compendiums and was ready to fight once more, ready to kill once more, ready to end everything and make the tower crumble. I was about to end the war right then and there, I felt.

But I didn't know that the war had only just begun.

The world shook. Yet again, the world shook. Not due to clashing monsters or a cataclysmic earthquake. Something more than a monster, more than an earthquake, more than anything the Dark Hour could have ever summoned up from the well of hatred and despair.

Erupting from the ground were massive black arms that crumbled and burned and shouted blasphemes with their existence alone. They grabbed at Theodore's destroyed body and pulled it down, down, down to the bottom of wherever this unholy place was. They were each the Devil's screams, the Devil's laughters, a million ghosts. A trillion people weeping and gnashing their teeth. Worms ripping into flesh and maggots tearing into alive human beings. People with no faces, decayed faces, eyes in the place of their faces. Bones bleeding and screaming and ripping through flesh. The dead coming out from the bottom of Hell itself, for Hell had broken out into the world, humanity's sin drowning the planet in disaster and death and fire and brimstone.

And before I knew it, the ground had broken apart, and I, unable to keep my eyes away from the sheer impossibility of everything, fell into the abyss.

* * *

I awoke in darkness.

Just...darkness.

The world I awoke to was an endless black. However, I was able to see myself. The only thing I was able to see was myself. My body was completely visible. As if there was a separation between me and this blackness. A difference.

I heard nothing in this world, not even an ominous wind. I saw nothing in this world, not even a single speck of light. I looked downward to see what I was standing on, and I found that I was standing on nothing. My legs were just floating on thick air, so to speak.

What I noticed next was that I felt cold. Impossibly cold. Like I was in the middle of a blizzard that wasn't even there. I held my shoulders and I shook, chattering my teeth in the relentless cold.

And then something spoke to me, from the darkness.

 **you are not the simulacrum**

My eyes widened upon hearing the voice. I'd have fallen to my knees, if there had been a floor for my knees to hit. I'd have run away, if there had been any place for me to run to. I'd have screamed back at it, demanding to know what it was...if my voice hadn't disappeared from my throat.

The voice was as loud as forty-four explosions, yet quieter than the softest whisper; speaking with both the vileness of a demon and the kindness of an angel. I do not know how to properly put its tone of voice into words. It was neither male nor female in tone. Neither condescending nor sentimental. Neither hateful, nor loving. It simply...was.

 **human  
you breathe fear in the face of that which is far beyond your comprehension  
yet you gaze upon the abyss and deny the nightmares their fill  
as if you have a say in the matter**

The words swarmed into my ears, like bugs crawling into the lobes, and this sensation only ceased when whatever was speaking to me finished its sentence. I held my head, something inside it violently rummaging and fluctuating. Like the vital signs of a person enduring a heart attack.

 **you are that which stands against the darkness  
** **trembling in horror and yet ignoring it  
another interchangable tool of the Higher Plane  
a Wild Card, perhaps**

Before I knew it, I found myself saying, "And what are _you_?" despite my courage plummeting faster and faster by the second. Perhaps this was instinct. Perhaps this was just me as a Wild Card raging against the dying of the light. Or perhaps I was just running on my burning hatred of Shadows again.

Nevertheless, I spoke with a beyond suicidal courage.

 **you are human  
you are a child  
do not speak as if you know what you are speaking to**

All bravado, all attempts at standing boldly against the darkness petered out immediately after its response. Its voice was still impossibly indistinct in tone, despite its threats being completely obvious. I breathed and I breathed, my hands involuntarily twitching and my legs tensing.

My heart rose into my throat as violently throbbed, the insides of my body rippling with every beat.

 **you are an atom in the face of a multiverse  
spouting whimpers and ephemeral demands  
to something that does not care to hear you**

Jarring, like a whiplash, the voice took a shift into a spiteful and pitying tone. It burned through the air and rammed itself into my ears like it was a sword going through my eardrums.

 **you do not know how many have come before you  
** **believing they had achieved victory  
simply because I was quieted  
** **yet I always return  
** **I always shall speak again  
** **for My voice is Humanity's  
** **and Humanity's voice will always call for a reprieve**

"What are you talking about...?" I weakly spoke, my voice quivering and my will to continue even _hearing_ this monstrous voice any longer fading.

Like a choir of the damned, many other voices like this one rose and spoke the same words. Spoke in the same tone of voice. With every word they spoke, new _things_ emerged in my mind. Things that I didn't even know humans were capable of imagining. I didn't know why. I didn't know how this was even possible.

 **a reprieve of the meaningless  
the temporary  
the physical  
** **the self**

I covered my ears and I snivelled, "What...? I don't understand...! I don't understand, stop it!" I could no longer take it. Nightmares burned into my brain while I was still awake. I saw flames. I saw people I loved dying in ways that were too cruel for me to describe. Thousands upon thousands of burning worlds and crumbling universes, stars disappearing in seconds and galaxies blacking out before I even knew they were there. " _Stop talking_! Please!"

 **in the name of a freedom  
with Nothingness as its banner  
** **humanity is condemned to its freedoms  
** **with their mouths they speak nonsense  
** **with their eyes they see nothing  
** **with their hands they touch dust** **  
**

The voices were now so loud that despite my ears being covered, I heard them so clearly that they might as well have been screaming directly into my brain.

"What are you saying...!?" I screamed, not knowing why I wanted to know the truth. "I don't know what you're saying, what are you _talking_ about!?"

 **the Black Gate shall open  
** **in your hubris** **you will taint your world**

"What...!?" I exclaimed, trying to shout my way over the voices, "What's the Black Gate!? Where am I!? What have you done to me!? _What are you_!?"

 **I am that which speaks with the tongues of a thousand dead Gods  
** **whose form reverberates with the Nothingness of the emptiest Void**

And the voice rose to a crescendo of death and dying things. I understood every word perfectly, despite the words sounding like a mixture of the violent weeping of a baby being eviscerated, the enraged screams of a murderer as he went about disemboweling his latest victim, the horrified cries of a person being raped in every orifice, the mangled wails of innocent human beings being thrown into a trash compactor, and the coldness of tens of thousands of corpses bleeding out an ocean of red rising as high as my waist and stretching across a distance of forty-four thousand miles.

 _I want to go home._

 **I have spoken every war  
** **I have breathed every disease  
** **I am blight given name, the Scourge of the living  
** **I am every drop of blood you have spilt on the floors of this Underworld**

I covered my ears, and my knees gave way. I dropped down to them, kneeling pathetically in what felt like a pool of thick and shallow water. The surface beneath the water was damp and yet rough, something shattering beneath my feet as an impossibly opaque smell of iron forced itself into my nostrils. The vision cleared when I turned my gaze to whatever was below me, and I saw that my knees were in a red pool, a red pool that smelled like iron, a red pool that was thick and warm and hot and fresh.

 _I want to go home. I want to go home_ —

 **I am the bane of the Mortal Plane, the mouth of the Apocalypse  
** **The Death Rattle of the Damned, the Unwanted, the Despiser,  
** **The Idolater, The Violator, The Liar, The Murderer, The Thief, That Which Should Not Be**

And in the blood, I saw babies eating their way out of their mothers' wombs. Fathers turning against sons. Brothers turning against brothers. The skies were red and the planet was in an inferno, everyone and everything crying and laughing and burning in their own personal Hells, indescribable, disgusting, terrifying, the angels would refuse to come and a white sky broke down onto the countless corpses and stars, a Nonsense reigning and raining out throughout the whole universe as droves of souls wandered aimlessly in a cosmic horror beyond all imaginings.

 **I am Ahtu, The Thing in the Yellow Mask, The Haunter of the Dark, God of the Bloody Tongue,  
** **Howler in Darkness, The Black Demon**

— _I want to go home I want to go home I want to go home I don't want this God please no I can't I can't it's impossible it's not right it's wrong I wanna go home I wanna go home I wanna go home I wanna go home I wanna go home I wanna go home_ _I_ _WANT TO GO HOME I WANT TO GO HOME I WANT TO GO HOME I WANT TO GO HOME I WANT TO GO HOME MOMMY DADDY HAMUKO I WANT TO GO HOME **GOD**_ ** _PLEASE I WANT TO GO HOME GOD PLEASE MAKE IT STOP_ _—_**

 **The Crawling Chaos**

 ** _—_** _ **GOD PLEASE MAKE IT STOP GOD PLEASE MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP QUIET PLEASE MAKE IT STOP I CAN'T I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY HAMUKO**_ ** _YUKA_ **_**HIDETOSHI ELIZABETH YUKARI**_ ** _—_**

 **NYARLATHOTEP**

 ** _—and then, I screamed, "THANATOS!"_**

* * *

 **A/N**

shoutout to Changling64 for his suggestions in dialogue


	5. Philemon: Arcana CHAOS, Part IV

"Makoto!"

He slammed the door in her face right as she began her dash to it, her right forearm still not completely healed. She banged on the door with her good hand several times, screaming out his name in both anger and worry. "Makoto, come on! Don't do this! Don't you lock me out like this...!" After the fifth lock, she gave up and kicked the door in rage, her toe now stubbed. "AAGH!"

Hasegawa was busy tending to the awakening Chariot and Navigator, the Magician still helplessly on his knees.

I said to the Lovers, "He can't hear you." She sharply turned to me, her expression resembling a less psychotic version of Makoto's angry face. "And even if he could, he wouldn't listen."

"Let me out there right now!" she screamed.

"While I'd like that, I think it'd be best if you remain here," I said to her. "After all, Makoto Yuki allowed me to give everyone here the power to summon Personas. All you people have to do now is rescue the remaining hostages."

She stared at me with eyes like saucers, "H-he agreed to—?"

"Didn't you catch him nodding, woman?" I smirked, before turning to the rest of the newly-inducted soldiers. "You have all been given the strength to fight against the darkness. Use it wisely. The fate in the world now rests in your hands."

The Magician, the Hermit, the Chariot, and the Navigator all stared at me with their hearts in their throats and their fears come alive. The Navigator and the Chariot were the first to stand.

Kazushi Miyamoto was quaking in his shoes. Afraid. Terrified at the thought of even going after the Shadows. But after what he had just seen? After the fact that his best friend had just gone after that monster? And he had been too afraid to even follow him!?

He turned to Hayase, "You ready, Hayase!?"

Mamoru Hayase had always been ready to answer the call. He was one of the braver men of his Kendo squad, and he had always been willing to fight for whatever he believed was right. Whatever he believed would help others. Whatever he believed would rest his often weary conscience. And he'd always thought that was supposed to be a good thing. "Of course!"

The two of them dashed to separate doors, both of them gaining confidence with every step they would take. Miyamoto was the first of the two of them to call out the three others who were awake in the room. He had an amazingly sharp katana in his right hand and said with the utmost courage he could have mustered in his situation, "Guys, come on! We've got people to save!" before throwing his door open.

The first thing he saw was a gigantic centipede with human heads along the chitin of its form. Each head saying things he did not understand, each head speaking a language that poisoned his eardrums. The centipede was curiously gazing upon the blonde-haired boy wrapped in thick meat strands before it spotted Miyamoto and let out a brilliant and psychotic wail that sounded like a woman being crucified—

He slammed the door shut. After a few seconds of standing still and breathing heavily, Miyamoto turned to me, his posture straighter than ever before. "Uh yeah uh how do we summon our Personas again because I—I don't think I'll be able to kill that thing with a sword."

If these people were to actually summon Personas without accepting their Shadows, things were going to be catastrophic. As much as I despised the thought, they needed to use the mediating tool that Makoto's friends had always used. "The two Personas I showed you earlier appeared for the purpose of demonstration. In order for you all to summon Personas as you are, you must do so in a way that forcibly manifests them into the mortal plane."

"Forcibly manifests...?"

And then someone tapped his shoulder. He turned. Takeba. She had a silver pistol out in her hands and a stern expression on her face as she plainly said, "You guys have to take turns," before turning to everyone else, "First, look through each door. If there's a Shadow there, wait your turn before you use the Evoker. If you don't see any, _don't make a rescue_."

And she said all of that with a voice so exhausted that every conscious human in the room found it in themselves to stand in line.

"You've only five minutes left," I lied. "You'd better get to it."

You can tell how they reacted to that statement.

* * *

 **PHILEMON: ARCANA CHAOS, PART IV.**

* * *

Fuka Yamagishi had focused on protecting her friends from the Shadows. Protecting her friends from monsters. As was her duty. Makoto had told her to focus on defending Iori's team. Makoto had shown himself to be capable enough of surviving alone in Tartarus, in the past. So she had to hope that he was still powerful enough to continue his streak of survival. Even when he and Yukari had gone into the Room and subsequently fallen off the map, she had to stay strong.

But then she spotted him in a land of lava. As he was facing something that was _far_ stronger than he was.

 _=/= Yuki-kun!? =/=_

Makoto Yuki ignored the cries of Fuka Yamagishi as he marched forward into the land, ignoring the pain. Ignoring the blazing fires all around him.

Theodore, marching out of the pool of lava that he had been kicked into, glared at Makoto Yuki like a child. Unharmed by the lava. Driven by his pathetic need for vengeance.

 _=/= Yuki-kun, get out of there! He's...he's too strong for you! =/=_ Yamagishi screamed again, her focus completely on Makoto Yuki and _not_ on her friends, not on any of the other Shadow-hunters she was supposed to be watching over. But Makoto Yuki cared not about her pleas.

"Tell me," he condescendingly said to Theodore, "why should a monster like you have the right to cry?"

 **"Because we all bleed. One way or another."**

* * *

"This is bar none the weirdest thing you've ever done." Hayase gripped the katana in his right hand. Then he said, "But hey, you asked to join the fight."

He often found talking to himself, of all things, to be the best way to deal with stress. Whether it be stress from taking care of his family members, stress from constantly being let down by his companions in Kendo, stress from his studies, stress from his _many_ competitions, etcetera. Often he'd find himself either making bitter spiels about the unfairness of life which would escalate into lengthy yet subdued rants about expectations, responsibility, and other things he had never been fond of.

"You asked...," he repeated to himself. "You asked for this..."

A land of snow. One without any rock formations of any kind. No mountains. No hills. Not even other forms of life, like trees or plants. The clouds were a bleak shade of grey, not a single speck of light shining through. This was the land Elizabeth had gone into earlier. The land where she'd saved Fushimi in.

There was an ogre of a creature sleeping soundly twenty feet away from him. As large as two buses stacked on top of one another, its body bloated and contracted for every breath it took. Its flesh was a miserably-saturated navy blue, corroded with infections and blights that even the worst of the Black Plague could not even measure up to. It lay there, in the snow, its chest facing the sky and most of its body covered in united masses of white flakes.

"You can do this," he said to himself.

Hayase remembered his siblings, and how they'd all looked up to him as a brother. He remembered how he'd often privately raged about their extreme dependence on him, and how he would often tell himself how _horrible_ of a person he had always been for doing such irresponsible things, only to turn back and fail again. And again and again and again. And never ever change.

"You can do this," he said again. "You can do this."

He remembered his mother, and how she always so fondly looked upon him. How much of a disgrace he was, in his thoughts of her. How much he had truly never really put any effort into loving her as much as she had loved him.

"Mom, I'm so sorry." _God help me._ " _You can do this_."

There were two people, two people, two people—old and grey and wizened—in each other's arms, in old-people clothes, wrinkled and smelly and dry, an old couple, a _couple_ — _They're sleeping soundly, they're alive, they're not dead, but their skin is pale and they are old and they'll almost certainly die in the cold if I don't grab them_ —

He grabbed them by the collars of their shirts and pulled, tugged at their sleeping bodies. Despite their frailness, he needed to get them out of there, get them out of there, and he _knew_ he was breaking the command the pink-wearing girl had _just told him_ and he knew that his failure was going to get himself killed, but he needed to work fast because lives depended on him and he had _so little time_ —

 _Time, time, time._

There never seemed to be enough time to do the things he wanted to do once he found them.

The ogre stirred, the snow was pelting Hayase, the world was whitening and a low moaning guttural noise erupted from the Shadow's massive jugular as it sat up and yawned a terrible yawn — the stench of its breath was awful, smelled like pus and spoiled cheese — Hayase moved backwards, gritting his teeth and breathing quicker and quicker and then he felt someone at his back, then someone helping him, someone screaming at him—

Pink, pink cardigan. Brown hair. She was tugging at the woman of the couple and she was struggling with the weight as well, but they had to keep moving, they had to keep on dragging these corpses through the snow and into the door, and the monster spotted them and licked its lips as it rose and stood on the oak trees it had for legs—

* * *

Saori Hasegawa breathed in and breathed out, a scimitar in her hand. She then opened her door while the others opened theirs.

And she, like Hayase, found herself in the land of snow.

In front of Hasegawa was a little girl, with her hair in buns. The red backpack she'd often be seen with was gone, and in place of her colorful set of clothes was a pair of bright blue pajamas with a polka-dot design. Her skin was pale, frost building up. Despite the supposed ward that was meant to keep her alive, she was surely going to die of frostbite in fifteen minutes, by the looks of her.

"Oh God, please, no." was all the Hermit could say, pressing her head against the little girl's chest. The child's heart was beating. Slowly. Painfully. But it was beating. She was still alive. _She was still alive._

But before Hasegawa could thank God for letting the girl live, a hill suddenly rose from the snow about sixteen feet in front of her and let out a violent screech.

 _Oh no._

The hill grew limbs and a head. In shape, it was like a gorilla. But it was much larger. Much more muscled. It had four fingers on each of its hands and feet, each appendage with eyeballs in place of their nails. It boasted two-foot hairs along its back and its head, its skin mottled and dark grey. It had fangs longer than a person's head, and milky white eyes that were bulging maddeningly from its skull. On its chest was a blue mask of sorts that Hasegawa _for some reason_ identified only as _Magician, Magician_.

It grinned an unbearable grin from its fanged jaw and lunged forward, screaming things that sounded like they were coming from gas chambers at Auschwitz—

—before he'd even landed in front of Hasegawa, she'd gone back in through the door.

* * *

Kenji was scared and he couldn't breathe and he was utterly terrified but he just had to keep at it.

He didn't care to know where he was, because that wasn't the issue at the moment. The issue was trying to save whoever was stuck in this particular part of the Monad Block and saving this person before he and they were dead, dead and gone, eaten alive, whatever. Whatever.

 _Just ignore everything. Just think about who needs you. You have to save them._ _You have to save them._

And he had a khopesh in his hands and he _hoped to God_ he wouldn't have to use it, and then he found himself over someone. He'd tripped and fallen on some rock of some sort and was now looking directly into the eyes of some guy he'd never seen before. And then he remembered he had seen said guy from somewhere before.

Around school. Running some club. Brown hair. Glasses. Jovial. Social, to an extent. Didn't seem too special or anything. Was just some guy. One of his senpai. What was his name? _Hiromi_ _? Hiragi? Hirasawa? No. No. Hiraga!_

Keisuke Hiraga. He was staring directly into the eyes of Keisuke Hiraga. His senpai. His sweating, sleeping senpai who was burning up and was only being protected by the Fortune's ward.

And then Kenji decided to take a look upon where exactly he and his senpai were.

A land of lava, fiery waters spilling and billowing from the walls. Glistening orange waterfalls spilling and singing of damnation, choirs of pantheons of demigods flourishing in their despair. A burning land. A land of catastrophe. A land of death. A violent world of fire and brimstone. However, it had become a battleground just a few seconds ago.

The flames around Tomochika flared up to deadly levels. Levels that would severely burn any man. Severely burn any _thing_ ; human or Shadow. Kenji turned, hearing a most ghastly noise from behind him that sounded like elephants being melted by hot gold. A noise that burrowed into his very eardrums and made him unable to hear anything. He covered his bleeding ears as he turned, sweating horrifically and not knowing why he'd turned in the first place.

And then he saw a gigantic black horse heaving and crying out, a hole in its bony throat and a monstrous wail of endless suffering and torment. He heard gods cry. He heard titans weep. He heard demons laugh, and angels scream. He heard all of these things and yet none of these things, and a sweltering hot wind enveloped him as he felt something burst from behind his eyelids and swarm a horrifying miasma into the very fiber of his being just from the sight of the demonic stallion towering a thousand feet above him.

A bonfire. A bonfire in his brain.

* * *

The Hermit's heart was in her throat. She thought she was having a heart attack. She thought she was going to die. She thought she was going to die. Her body hadn't been eaten, however. She hadn't been mashed into a thousand splinters that had used to be her bones. And it was five seconds after she'd returned to the Velvet Room that she realized that _yes,_ she was not dead yet. And she thanked God endlessly for that fact, almost crying as she slumped down the door. The child safe in her arms.

And then she jolted, the door to her right opening up all of a sudden.

Hayase and Takeba and two senior citizens came from the door, and the four of them were covered in blankets of snow. And then she looked at herself, and saw that her own clothes were covered in white as well.

Hayase said, all of a sudden, "I-I know that I disobeyed orders, but we've only got five minutes left—"

"Stop," was all Takeba grunted out, slapping the snow off her clothes aggravatedly. "I don't wanna argue anything with anyone anymore—"

But they were interrupted when Miyamoto opened his door again (having finally mustered up the strength to do what _had to be done_ ) and stammered out a word that he had really never said before: "P-Persona!"

His eyes burned with a spirit they hadn't burned with in a long time as he pressed a silver gun to his head and unhesitatingly pulled the trigger.

A red-skinned in ash-black robes emerged from his skull. Underneath his ash-black robes was an impossibly decrepit _yoroi_ stained with blood and held together with bandages. Countless arrow tails were sticking out from his back, each one representing every single death on every single battlefield. His shoulders were comparable to washing machines in size. His arms, however, were nimble and lanky. His right leg wore a steel brace, one that had been practically grafted into his flesh.

He wielded a sword larger than he, a sword that was merely a gigantic and pointed slab of iron coated in dried blood.

 _ **"Thou art I. And I am thou. From the sea of thy soul, I cometh. I am Hachiman, Lord of Conflict."**_

The giant centipede screeched as the Lord of Conflict gave an inglorious scream. Miyamoto grit his teeth, sweat now dropping from the side of his head, because the centipede was rearing its gruesome visage at him once more and _lunged at him while hanging from the ceiling_ —

 _Too fast—!_

Miyamoto had his hands to his neck and made choking noises as the centipede's mandibles clamped themselves onto the sides of Hachiman's neck. Pressing and scraping against the meat of his neck and choking his master, choking him to death, cuts and gashes and—

He didn't even know that the words _Stab it stab it stab it stab it_ were echoing in his skull.

Red. Red was now spilling. Red blood. Red. Why? _Why'd it have to look so human?_ The gigantic slab of iron Hachiman had for a sword was running through the creature's lengthy body and making it bleed. But it wasn't dying, it wasn't dying despite its impalement. _Why!?_ screamed Miyamoto, "Why won't you die _—!?"_

The others were screaming Miyamoto's name _—t_ he mandibles were tearing into Hachiman's neck _more and more_ and the ripping pain was digging into his host's neck _more and more_ , he felt he was going to bleed and suffer and die and he closed his eyes _—_

And then as he was beginning to faint from the pain, he found Hayase supporting his body while screaming for help, for advice. Takeba was trying to explain things but she wasn't explaining them in a way newcomers could understand her _—_

 _—_ and all Kazushi could think about was Shuya, and the pain, and his knee, and Makoto, and everyone back on the Kendo team, and his mom _—Mom, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please don't be sad when I_ _—_ and then Yuko, and he _—_

He forced his eyes open and just vocalized a violent, " _Up_!"

Red sprayed out from the creature's body and lathered Hachiman's clothes, the iron of the blade shredding upward through the centipede's form. A shrill cry loud enough to pierce through eardrums vibrated through the air as it bled. Bleeding. Bleeding. Red and red. But it still wasn't dying, it still wasn't dying, it still _wasn't just dying already_ so Miyamoto and his Persona had to improvise. " _Down_!"

Hachiman disgustedly swept his massive iron blade downward, hurtling the still-living body of the centipede down into the darkness of the abyss below, its incredible wails sounding off as it descended.

"H-hey...!" called Hayase, as Miyamoto took a deep breath and lost all strength in his legs. "You okay?"

"Exhaustion is normal," I said. "Especially so soon after first summoning a Persona."

The Chariot held his forehead, a splitting headache blaring through his skull with an intensity to match the pain in his leg. The pain in his leg he was _feeling now_ , feeling again. The pain he couldn't afford to feel again. He needed to rest. He needed to sit this one out, but _—_

But neither he nor his Persona could rest. It was too soon to rest.

They both saw several other creatures floating by him, watching him, having paused in mid-air and just gazing upon his bloodstained form.

One of them was a musclebound warrior with aqua skin and a golden mane of hair. He was about ten feet tall and wore what looked like solar panels for armor. One massive, football glove-sized hand of his wore a red, clawed glove. His other simply looked like the tip of a giant pen. Or a syringe.

An avian-looking one had an armored head and golden-orange wings attached to its limbs, wearing an indigo shade of armor with orange accents all throughout it. There was an effeminate creature which looked like a statue, its dress frozen in motion as its arms stoically lay at its sides. And finally, there was another who wielded twin blades and wore a regal outfit, a knight's helmet clamped tight around her face.

All four of them were just watching him. _Waiting for a perfect moment to strike._

Hachiman raised his massive blade, Miyamoto glaring at the beasts gathered around his Persona. Hayase stepped back, his eyes wide _—_

"Wait, _wait_!" screamed Takeba, as she pushed Miyamoto to the right. Sticking her head out the door, she looked down and screamed as loud as human lungs were able to let her scream, "Junpei!?"

On a bridge made of gargantuan bones, about several hundred feet downward from her were a group of seasoned Shadow killers. All of them exhausted. All of them desperately clinging to any hope of saving the other lives remaining in the Monad Block. A hope that was slowly being eroded for every second they had to spend in said Block.

"Yuka-tan!?" shouted Iori, cupping his hands around his mouth to project his scream. "What're you doing there!?"

She screamed back, and he wasn't able to hear her this time. "What'd you say!?" he screamed back.

She gritted her teeth and turned to me. "Is there a door closer to them?"

"The one to your left is directly in front of them," I responded. And so she ran.

"Junpei! Everyone!" she shouted as she burst through the door.

"Wh-what!?" Iori took a step back, shocked. "Y-Yuka-tan!?"

The Empress, who was behind him, asked, "When did you _—_?"

"Doesn't matter! Get in through here! Something's happening to Makoto!" she screamed back.

The Star exclaimed, "You serious!? _Again_?"

She nodded frantically, silently begging to God for something _good_ to _finally_ come out of everything that already had happened. "Yeah! C'mon! We need your help!"

"What's going on with Makoto?" asked Junpei, unnerved by his friend's grave tone of voice.

"He's buying us time the only way he knows how," she muttered bitterly before exclaiming, "Now come on! Get in here! We've got to save him! Everyone get in the Room _now_! We've only got five minutes left before _—_!"

Door slammed open.

"What the—!?"

* * *

As Miyamoto and Hayase brought in the transfer student from France (whose body was _very_ tough to remove from the meat strappings), one of the Velvet doors slammed open and then closed immediately thereafter.

Kenji Tomochika collapsed, the khopesh he had in his hands now a melted stump of red-hot steel. Keisuke Hiraga, whose skin was still red from convection and wet from sweat, lay at his side.

Tomochika's ears were bleeding and he couldn't breathe, he couldn't see, his eyes were sore, his ears were bleeding, his skin sizzling and smoking _._ The demons and their wails and just how utterly small he was in the face of them all continuing to squirm in his mind. The bonfire burned ever brighter and wasn't fading anytime soon, flickering and dancing and searing into his memory as he hissed out his breaths.

"Kenji!" Miyamoto ran to the spasming body of his traumatized friend as everyone in Makoto's Fool Social Link entered the Room. "What happened to you!?"

Takeba pushed him out of the way, "Off!" and laid her hands on him as he hissed and groaned and throated out noises that were not supposed to come from human tongues. "Senpai!" she shouted, calling over Kirijo. "Help me heal him!"

Immediately, the Empress went over to the Lovers, using their powers to heal the Magician's burned and seared skin. He wheezed like ashes were in his lungs and made out syllabic noises as he wheezed, noises that no one really paid any attention to. Hasegawa, recognizing the newly-rescued hostage as one of her classmates, _Hiraga_ , pulled him aside and got to healing him. His skin was not as burned up as Tomochika's, but still required _some_ amount of medical attention.

The Empress and the Lovers' hands were burning and frying from contact with the Magician's flesh, but they had to keep at it. If they were to break from their concentration, the healing process would fail, and Tomochika would die.

Amada was just happy to be alive, flopping down onto the floor. The android was cooling down, having expended most of her bullets on fending off the Shadows in Monad. The dog whined before limping against one of the Velvet doors, his tongue out. Sanada couldn't help but look around the Room's innards in sheer awe and wonder, and Aragaki _—_ despite his chest _burning_ _—_ was taking in the Room's glory as well.

But Iori just took in all the chaos going on and asked me, "What's going on? H-how many hostages are left? Why are the ones we've saved awake and why's Kenji like this!?"

"Much has happened, Junpei Iori, while you were away," I told him. "You've all managed to save every single hostage, except one. An impressive feat, all on its own."

"Except one?" Iori repeated, much to the discomfort of Takeba, Hasegawa, Hayase, and Miyamoto. "Wh-who's the one? And _—_ " he heard guns cocking and bullets clinking down onto the ground. "Whoa, _what!?_ "

"Where is Makoto-san?" the android calmly stated, her hands having turned into guns. "Tell us, now."

"The chairman's daughter is a robot!?" screamed Miyamoto, as Hayase just scratched his head in confusion.

The android repeated, uncaring of the comments of the newcomers, "Where is Makoto-san? Tell us now."

"I'm not a Shadow, am I?" I said to her. To _it_. "You've no reason to direct your fire at me."

"It is my primary objective to remain at Makoto Yuki's side. Whatever actions I must take in order to achieve that objective, I shall take. Where is Makoto-san?" she repeated, before pressing the submachine gun that had once been her left hand to my face. "Where is Makoto-san?"

All Hayase could murmur was, "I _have_ to be dreaming..."

"You should ask Tomochika," I said to the android, gesturing to the Magician who'd been through a volcano's insides.

Takeba widened her eyes, finally noticing her patient's lip movements. She leaned in, hearing the faintest whispers, whispers that couldn't have possibly been words _—_

 _Ma_

She paused.

 _Ma_ _—to_

Ma-to. Ma-to.

" _Ma—_ " he stammered, " _Ma—ko—_!"

Takeba didn't know whether it was safe or not to stop healing him and go for the door he had just been in. And so she just settled for saying, "He's behind this door!"

At that, Sanada and Aragaki immediately both jolted their heads to the door Takeba was facing. Before anyone else could, they both had gotten themselves to said door. Sanada pried at the doorknob with all his might, but it wouldn't budge. It wouldn't turn at all.

"What's going on, Aki!?" screamed the High Priest.

"I don't know!" he screamed. "It's not _—_!" And then he just gave up and resorted to punching the door. Two and fro, he bashed his blazing gauntlets into the frame, spatters of lightning crashing against it door to no avail. "It's not opening, why's it not opening!?" he then turned to me, "Why are you not letting it open!?"

"Back off!" said Aragaki, pushing his silver-haired childhood friend away from the door. "Mitsuru, Takeba, get the kid's body out of there!"

"Shinjiro!" screamed Kirijo, seeing just what her colleague was getting ready to do.

" _Now!_ "

The Empress and the Lovers pulled the Magician's body away from the door, following orders.

A mighty _crash_ then resounded through the room, the High Priest's broadaxe having embedded itself into the door frame. But not even a splinter for his efforts. The door was not giving way. I was not going to let it give way. "Come on! You kidding!?"

"Step ten meters away," said the android, aiming what looked like the front of a rocket launcher at the door.

"It will not work," I said. "I am doing this for your own good."

"How's keeping us away from Makoto for our own good!?" screamed Iori.

And then they heard it.

They heard a foul scream. A terrible, tragic scream. One that was so loud, it could be heard inside the Velvet Room. It was a scream of a single word. A frightening word. A word that heralded the end, a word that had been used and abused by the modern age and yet has not lost its power in any way.

They heard Theodore's screams of Armageddon. They heard the monster's cry. They heard it, all the way in the Velvet Room, and their courage just shattered into smithereens.

"What...was that...?" was all Mitsuru Kirijo could ask.

I turned to them. And I smiled. "Just wait a few moments. The dust needs to settle. Then, I shall unlock the door."

"What just happened!?" she screamed at me. "What was that scream!?"

"That was what Makoto Yuki and his servant are currently facing," I said. "It is an attack that only few have the power to unleash upon the world. An attack so powerful and massive in scope it can only come from those bred of one single being: Nyarlathotep. The Crawling Chaos."

Kirijo's eyes narrowed, as she crossed her arms. "Nyarlathotep...?"

"What's a 'nyar-lat-o-tep?'" wondered Hayase, aloud.

"Speak to us in terms we can understand, man," grunted Iori. "What are you talking about?"

"It's a creature from the works of H.P. Lovecraft," she said, dauntlessly. "One of the cosmic Outer Gods. A creature that meddles into the affairs of man and sows chaos, and tragedy, and discord. A manipulative being, it uses human languages rather than using an otherworldly tongue to commune with humans and is fully capable of winning over innocent people because of its incredible skill as a wordsmith. It serves the Outer Gods, primarily Azathoth, creator of the universe, and prioritizes maddening its victims instead of outright killing and destroying them."

Everyone stared at her, taking in her words as well as they were able to. They did not know what to say. Some of them didn't know half of what _she_ 'd even said. But it was clear that this Nyarlathotep, whatever it was, was not something they'd have liked to meet.

"That name has come up in the few reports and notes left behind by my grandfather," she growled. "I never get anywhere. I've read those reports and notes over and over again, but everything else is scribbled in unintelligible handwriting. There are words that don't exist, phrases that I can't even replicate, and letters that aren't written in any human alphabet whatsoever. Nyarlathotep is the only word that makes sense in what little remains of my grandfather's work. So, what is it?" she demanded, " _What is Nyarlathotep_?"

I told everyone, "Imagine every figure of evil from every religion. Imagine Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, each and every soldier that had participated in the Rape of Nanking. Every single murderer, every single liar, every single idolater, every single sinner, every single vile human being on the face of the planet Earth. Every single evil thing that has ever lived throughout space and time. Every injustice. Every forest fire. Every genocide. Every. Single. Death. The only thing Nyarlathotep has not surpassed in its evil is the fallen angel who'd defied God Himself. Nyarlathotep is the voice that man gives to his darkness."

Mitsuru widened her eyes, and despite her best efforts, her legs just would not stop shaking. She could not stop herself from giving away her fear and her weakness. She hung her head, a blank gaze on her face, unable to form any real thoughts and her voice muted with horror.

Akihiko's hands balled up into fists as the implications of what Nyarlathotep was and must have been filled his head. He uncurled his fists because he realized that keeping such a strong image in contrast to everything that had just been revealed...made him look pathetic.

Shinjiro just maintained a stoic look on his face, his body still.

"So...like...this 'Nyarlathotep' guy...he's here?" Miyamoto asked, before coming to a reasonable conclusion. "Was the guy that burst in the Room his—!?"

"Yes," I replied. "That was his servant."

"Servant...?" asked the little boy, Ken Amada. "What are you talking about? What happened here?"

"Earlier, the guy with the mask showed us a monster," Hayase said. "It had to be at least as big as Gekkoukan. It rampaged and then busted its way into this Room. Makoto pushed it out and fought it, but...he hasn't come back yet."

"Come on!" grunted Iori. "So Makoto challenged the servant of an extremely powerful Shadow!?"

"He did it to save us...," murmured Hasegawa, looking down at the body of her classmate. "And to buy us time."

I snapped my fingers, suddenly. Everybody wondered what I was doing, surprised at my sudden motion. Another blue door was summoned into the Room. And it was in correspondence with the door in the lobby of Tartarus. Where Fuka Yamagishi was.

The door slammed open after ten seconds of nothing.

Fuka Yamagishi stumbled into the Room, weak-kneed and dull-eyed. Her ears had been deafened and her vision was a blur. She walked like she was falling apart and tears were falling from her eyes. Though they were not tears of sorrow. They were the tears of a person whose retinas were...overloaded.

"Fuka!" shouted Takeba.

"I-I can't see," she said, "I can't see, I can't see. I can't _—_ what happened? Where am I!? I can't see!"

"What happened to her!?" shouted Iori.

I said to them, to her, "She saw the Armageddon spell. She _saw_ it. This is one of the detrimental aspects of being a detector. Her senses can be far too powerful for her own good."

Amada stepped back in horror, gasping for air. The dog whined as her charged for the detector, licking her fingers as she knelt down to the floor. Kirijo scowled and gripped at the sleeves of her shirt, unable to look any longer at the results of her grandfather's sins.

"What is wrong with you!?" Iori screamed at me, unable to contain his anger, his frustration, his pity, his sadness.

"C-can't we heal her!?" Sanada cried. "Will our healing spells work?"

"What can we do to help her?" growled Aragaki, prying his axe off from the door. "Tell us!"

"It will wear off in a few days. Keep yourselves calm. Healing spells will do nothing. All you can do is merely wait."

Yamagishi grabbed at Takeba's cardigan and wept, "It was horrible, it was horrible, there was fire, dying, everyone was dying, I couldn't see _—everyone_ was dying, I _—_ I saw the moon, it's eye, the moon had an eye, I saw it all, it was screaming and crying and it _—something_ was grabbing it, something with four red eyes and a black body and heads on its front and back _—"_

The Lovers stammered out, taking hold of the Priestess, "F-Fuka, Fuka, I need you to calm down! I-I _—_ calm down, it's gonna be okay, you're safe now!"

"No, no, we're not safe, none of us will be safe! We _—we_ , Makoto, senpai, senpai's dead, senpai's dead, Odagiri-senpai is dead...!"

"Wait...!" shouted Yukari. "W-wait, Fuka...!"

"He's dead, he's dead, he's dead, his bones were crushed, suffocation, asphyxiation, pressure, pressure like the ocean, dead and dead and dead _—"_

Hasegawa stared upon the scene in horror as Mitsuru forced herself to continue healing Tomochika, whose body was still burnt and not completely healed. Miyamoto silently raged as the scene went on, horrified at his own powerlessness. Hayase growled at the cruelty of it all, as if he had a choice in the matter.

As if any of them had a choice in the matter.

Immediately I thought of Elizabeth. And I almost expressed my sorrow.

But I did not. "Hidetoshi Odagiri is dead. His bones and his body could not endure the onslaught of Nyarlathotep's servant. But Makoto Yuki is alive. Very much so. I fear, however, that that may not last very long on his end. Nyarlathotep's servant still lives. It is weak, but it still lives. Makoto Yuki can kill it. Or Makoto Yuki can die trying. The latter is more of a realistic outcome _—"_

"How can you say these things so easily?" was all Yukari Takeba could say to me.

"That does not matter," I said. "What matters is that Makoto Yuki lives. Do you know why the Monad Block exists? Do you know what the tower itself is even for? It is a shrine."

"What are you talking about?" questioned Mitsuru Kirijo, her rapier to my throat. "Talk, damn you."

I explained, "It is a shrine meant to herald the coming of something more than Nyarlathotep. Something larger. Something grander. Nyarlathotep had been defeated ages ago by the Sun of Souls. A Persona-user had cast him down into an abyss and ruined him. Nyarlathotep could only return when this tower of death and destruction shunted itself into being due to the works of your grandfather. And even then, he's been weakened to the point where he can now only manifest himself and his influence...in the form of an entire ten-floor block."

And at that, everybody immediately understood just how high the stakes were. None of them dared to speak back. None of them dared to say anything in opposition. For they now finally knew their place.

I snapped my fingers. "The door is unlocked. You can all head out to save him, now. And you'd best do so quickly. Lest the Crawling Chaos take him before you can."

* * *

Junpei Iori. Mitsuru Kirijo. Shinjiro Aragaki. Akihiko Sanada. Ken Amada. Aigis. Koromaru. Mamoru Hayase. Kazushi Miyamoto. Saori Hasegawa.

Persona-users all.

They stepped through the Velvet door and into a grey world. A world of smoke, a world of dust. Dark clouds of unbreathable things blanketed the air, giving a pungent and almost alien stench that resembled that of dead rats and dinosaur bones.

They could barely see through the thickness of the fog, the world crackling beneath their feet like dead leaves. They saw something, however, far off into the distance.

A writhing mass that could not be described in any real _human_ terms, per se. Split open and splayed out for all the world to see. Thunderous limbs and things that looked like tendrils spasmed in what looked like a horrific series of death throes, alien biologies making themselves known to minds that could never possibly fathom them in their entirety.

And then they turned away from that mass, and found a blue-haired young boy staring at it. On his knees. Not moving an inch from his spot.

"Makoto...!" shouted Junpei, turning to his comrades, "Come on! We gotta go and—!"

Something rustled. Something moved.

"Iori, stop! There's a Shadow in front of you!" Kirijo screamed, getting her Evoker out. "Everyone, weapons ready!"

Their swords were unsheathed. Those who had Evokers summoned their Personas and readied themselves for another horrific bout. Kirijo was about to order the rookies to run over to Makoto and rescue him, but she couldn't upon seeing just what her new foe was.

Rising quite literally from the ashes of the ground, the creature had silver hair and a blazing topaz eye. Its arms and legs were broken. Beyond repair. And yet it walked and moved around, its limbs cracking and crunching and making all kinds of terrible bone noises. As its limbs splintered through its boiled and plagued grey skin, a cloak of sorts from the dust and the ash formed and draped itself over its shoulders. It was tattered and had taken on a miserable yellow color, its frayed form billowing in the cloudy air.

Out from its back, from underneath its cloak, then emerged six other hands. Six other hands that were black and veined and looked like they were made of burnt trees and vines. Each hand held a cutlass. Each hand was practically grafted to its sword. Each hand swung and cut through the air like an exotic dancer.

Its face was scared and mangled; gashes and cuts were in places were a second eye, a nose, and a mouth should have been. Puffs of black smoke emerged from said gashes on its head, and its single topaz eye was surrounded by dark circles. In its right hand was a gigantic sword made of sharpened bones and rusted steel, its tip wreathed in hellfire.

It had a name, once. As did more than half of the Shadows in this miserable place. And its name was Hidetoshi Odagiri.

And it dashed forward.

"C-crap...!"

* * *

Yukari Takeba had to stay with Fuka Yamagishi. She had to protect her, her and the remaining unconscious people in the room. But all wounds that had needed to be healed had already been healed. Every word she could've spoken had already been spoken. Nothing more to do.

Nothing more to do than sit with her blind and mildly deaf friend in the hopes of not letting her feel alone. In this miserable situation. Nothing more to do than to sulk and regret and hope things were going to turn out well. It was a simple recovery mission. They were going to get Makoto and get out. Nothing else. Nothing else was going to come in their way. Yes. Yes. Yes—

"I know what you've been doing," I said. "You and your friends. It is not going to work."

"What are you talking about?" she said to me warily, after a lengthy pause.

"Don't think you can lie to me," I said to her. "I am you."

She widened her eyes as she stood up, stammering out, "I-I don't know what—"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. The only reason Makoto Yuki hasn't caught on to your intentions is because he's desperate to cling to any semblance of happiness in his life."

After a few seconds of heavy breathing, she gulped and tried fighting back. "We were trying to help him—"

"By lying? By pretending? You and I both know what he really is," I said. "You're just trying to delay the inevitable."

"That's absurd," was all she could say.

"Is it? We're looking at a man who can break at any moment and whose sanity has been stretched thin because of everything he's experienced—"

She snarled, "You sent him into that slump for weeks after you told him what you did to his sister—"

"And you and your friends decided to play therapist and pretend that you weren't _at all_ afraid of how he might break down at any moment and in turn break something else. Giving him meaningless emotional motivators, afraid to speak the truth out of fear of him lashing out. Trying to put a lid on his rage and willing to pretend. Willing to ignore the massive elephant in the room."

Her jaw was hanging. She darted her head about in several directions, trying to form words. Trying to say something to counter me and deny the truth in my accusations.

"You don't fear him because you know what he can do. You fear him because you don't know what he can't. I will tell you, here and now, that Makoto Yuki has the potential to literally swallow stars. But he doesn't know that. He doesn't even care about swallowing stars. And do you know why? It's because of you. Can't you see? No. I see you still fear him. That much is obvious. I suppose I should tell you the truth, then."

"...What truth?"

I smiled, and said to her, "The final Shadow you and your friends will encounter on a full moon is the source of the Hour. It is far more powerful than any other you've faced before. So powerful that sacrifice...is inevitable. " I loomed over them, hunching my back over and craning my neck at an impossible angle as I narrowed my eyes directly into the Lovers'. "Even necessary."

A few seconds passed with her simply wordless. She turned her empty gaze downward, her jaw dropped and her breaths becoming weightier with every passing moment. Gathering her courage, she marched over to me, looking like she couldn't handle anything anymore. Looking at me like I'd just ended the world. "You can't...you can't be serious," she muttered. "He can't die, he…" And then she glared at me, having thought she'd realized something. "You planned this," she gutturally spat out. "You planned all of this from the very beginning...?"

"No. I did not."

"What the hell is wrong with you? I thought you cared about him," she growled. "I-isn't he—you just _told me_ how powerful he can be. He _has_ to die? He doesn't have a choice in this?"

I told him, "It is the only logical outcome. And it is the most beneficial outcome."

"The 'most beneficial' outcome...?" she murmured, a fury in her expression that even Makoto would find terrifying. "We can't change it at all? We have no chance at saving Makoto in any way?" I didn't answer her for a few seconds, allowing her to vent. "He has to die. You're just—you're just going to let him die, because you—you need him to—you're telling me I can't do anything about it? The impossible is what we do _all the time_ and you're telling me we can't do _anything_ to prevent this from happening?"

"In the end, it is he who will make the choice that will lead to his death. Not me."

"And what makes you say that?" her voice rose as she retraced her memories in the hopes of finding _something_ to counteract my statements. "He told me…he told me himself that he was afraid of dying! He never liked the idea of death!"

"Because the decision he will make in the end, he will make because of you." I said, my index finger directly in the center of her face. " _Especially_ you. You know how eager he is to throw himself to the wind when your life is on the line. He dove into a supernatural television screen to rescue you from the claws of the Shadows, risking his life and limb several times over to ensure your survival."

She didn't want to listen to me. She couldn't help it, however. I was right, and she knew it, but she didn't want to admit it, and it was this conflict of what she knew was true and what she didn't want to admit was true that drove her to spit back pathetic excuses for replies. "That's enough," she said, shaking her head. "Why are you—?"

"When he rages, it is because you are put in danger. During your school festival, even, he thought about how much he wanted to bring you a better world. A stronger, more loving world. A world without the Shadows. A world without the Dark Hour—"

"Stop it, stop—!" she said, attempting to talk over me and failing humiliatingly.

"—because he wanted to see you smile, and because you are all he has left of a time when things weren't so horrible."

"Shut up!" she screamed. "All of this...you just shut up right now!"

"And why should I?" I asked her, grinning to further twist the knife into her heart. "I am merely telling you the truth, woman."

"What would you know about the truth!?" she gripped me by the collar of my neck, "All you've ever done is manipulate people into serving your own needs!"

"Must I really repeat what I'd told Makoto Yuki?" I smirked. "He chose to go on the warpath, from the very beginning. He chose to fight the Shadows and end them, of his own accord. All I've done is make adjustments to the path when things would go sour."

"You can't really think he'll go along with this!" she grunted, gritting her teeth. "It's not like you'll be able to stop me from telling him—!"

"Even if you do tell him, who's to say he won't take on that responsibility? Who's to say he won't take that chance to end the Shadow threat and save his world? He cares not for himself; it doesn't matter to him, how much power he can attain. Growing stronger, to him, is merely a means to the end of protecting you. He had nothing before. No friends, not even a family. Now, he has _you_. He thinks he fears death most of all. He is wrong. He fears losing what he has left."

"You don't even _know him_!" was her last-ditch effort to win this battle of wits.

A last-ditch effort which ultimately failed when I said to her, "And _you_ do?"

I snapped my fingers and made her see.

I made her see him running in the darkness. Sprinting away from a being which had two rifles that were longer than greatswords in its bony hands. He was screaming. Screaming for her and her capped friend. Screaming her name as the guns would blast away at him, as he would sweep himself away from every small explosion. She then saw him run into her unconscious body, and then he'd stand over her with a destroyed sword. Standing defiantly. Standing powerfully.

Another scene, he was slamming her face into a mirror. Blood and glass and shards in her face, her hair, her eyes, her nose. A gaping hole in her chest. She was bleeding and bleeding and bleeding and she was surely going to die of blood loss unless someone would heal her. She remembered. She remembered. She hated it, hated it so much, but then she saw him turn into a white monster before her very eyes and run and kill and slaughter the gigantic viscous heart that had made him do such wrong things to her.

"Stop, please," she begged, "Stop...!"

I didn't listen to her.

She now saw him breaking down at the beach resort, in his bed, sweating and crying and vomiting and wanting to die. She saw him screaming at her, his eyes black and his hands firm and his voice monstrous as always. He then ran away and then she found him crying on her friend's shoulder, crying his eyes out at his own uselessness. Being a weak little human for once.

And then he was running again, it was the Dark Hour, the tank, the gun, monsters. He ran as bullets flew in the air and he'd have died had he not run sooner, bullets ran through his guts and they were spilling, spilling onto the floor, blood flowing out like it was from a wine press.

She put a hand to her mouth.

"He is the key to humanity's salvation," I said to her.

He was now asking the silver-haired girl he'd later on betray if he was truly a good leader, and she said yes. She said she trusted him. Something few others at the time had done, and he smiled at her, he smiled at her—and then he glared, he glared, he was angry, he was hateful, she'd never seen this before, he carried that silver-haired girl using his Persona into a lightning storm which burned her, made her comatose, made her scream, made her cry, made her spasm like a wretch. And then he was weeping at her bedside, apologizing all the while.

She fell to her knees and held her head in her hands while screaming from the physical pain of having entire hours worth of time being compressed into minutes for her head to process—

I continued, "As are you, your friends, and the newcomers. As was Naoya Toudou. As was Tatsuya Suou. As was Maya Amano. As is every single Persona-user I've ever bred!" I ranted to her, I raved at her, I screamed at her so as to get the message across. Even Hamuko Yuki had been meant for greater things!" I shouted. "She once had that spark in her eyes, the same spark her brother does! That rare kind of determination, but it only went so far for her!"

She saw Makoto Yuki now walking along the Moonlight Bridge, battered and bleeding and so close to death he could taste it. His Personas were gone, the world was gone. He'd killed an army earlier. He'd gone through hordes of monsters for her, all for her, all just to save her. He'd come to save her because he was afraid of losing her, afraid of losing what little he'd had left—

"She was _extremely_ capable in battle! A storm, in human form! Something I'd never ever seen out of any Persona-user, Wild Card or not! But her mental instability made her…unpredictable. I believed I'd have been able to push her back on the correct track. That was my mistake!"

Makoto Yuki bleeding for her, being cut open for her, crying because of her, enraged because of her, happy because of her, smiling because of her, caring again, laughing again, being strong enough, being brave enough, being kind enough, being compassionate enough, and then I showed her him and her in that hospital room where they'd had their first _real_ and meaningful conversation all for the purpose of manipulation.

This was a systematic breakdown of Yukari Takeba's will. She'd now seen, in full view, what Makoto Yuki was capable of. What he had done for her. What he'd done to save her. What he was willing to do to save those he cared for. And so into her brain was hammered the knowledge, then and there, that no matter how hard she would try, no matter if she'd told him the truth or not, he would make the ultimate sacrifice.

For her.

She tore her head up to me. Glaring at me from where she was. Despite being on her knees, she stared at me as if she had the right to kill me. Her eyes were the eyes of unrelenting hate. Venomous, toxic to see. They brimmed with a bloodlust so strong that even wild beasts would be horrified at the sight. Her hands were balled into fists, and she got to her feet with a stomp. She pierced her eyes into mine, scowling at me and hating me like so many other Persona-users had.

"You're a monster," she seethed. "You're a sick, vile, manipulative monster no better than the Shadows. No. No, 'monster' would be too good of a word to describe you," she snarled viciously. "You can't tell me this, show me this, _guilt me like this_ , and expect me to just keep quiet to him and everyone else."

I grabbed her shoulders, I narrowed my eyes into hers, and I whispered into her ear as she tried to wrench herself away from me, "If you truly want to, you can tell him the truth. If you think it's what's right, go ahead. Tell him. Scream it to him, right in his face. But regardless of what you do, he _will_ make the choice to sacrifice his life…if it means you all get to live yours."

I let go of her, and she just said, "I am gonna kill you. I don't know how, but I will. Someday, you'll get what's coming to you. And even if I can't kill you—if, if I'm too weak to kill you, if I'm not even strong enough to wound you, I will do my best."

"Go..."

Takeba turned.

The Priestess, whose eyes were bleeding and were a milky white, begged her, "Go. I...I can stay. You have to...save Makoto. I...I can feel it."

"Fuka, what?"

"You have to go...I...I can feel something big. Something big is coming and we're...none of us are strong enough to stop it. We have to run. We have to save ourselves...! You have to save him, please!" she grabbed onto Takeba's cardigan and pleaded, "Please! Please! You have to go! There's something too big for all of us that's coming and wants to kill us! Wants to kill him! _Please_!"

Yukari's expression hardened. She turned to me.

I smiled. "The door is yours. Go out when you think it best."


	6. The Black Butterfly

**" _THANATOS!"_**

I was a fool. In more ways than one.

I remembered that there were consequences to summoning a Persona whose Arcana was that of a broken Social Link. But I had no Evoker. I had no Compendium. I had no means of battling this demonic entity other than Thanatos. And the millions of painful sensations running all across my arteries and veins had convinced me that anything was permissible if it meant destroying the Crawling Chaos.

Normally hate would've filled my heart, my lungs, my hands, my body—and I'd have raged and raged, wanting to kill this new foe of mine as soon as possible because _it was a Shadow_ —but now, for what felt like the first time in ages, I wanted to kill it not because I hated it.

I _feared_ it.

Just standing in its presence overwhelmed me, destroyed my will, broke me. I couldn't think, I couldn't see, I couldn't hear—all the world was, it was just darkness and blasphemies, because of this abominable and indescribable monster. Speaking to it, hearing its voice, it was like I'd died and God had condemned me to a special part of Hell where I would be left to the worms and the swarming things that never would ever leave and would bite my soul and my insides till I couldn't even scream for help.

I screamed. I screamed a miserable, violent scream as I felt my skull crack and grey matter flood out through the crevices of my brain. Thick _things_ came out of my nose, they were clear—nothing red at all, and then my head split and I knew _I just knew_ that I wasn't going to stay awake any longer.

But I had to kill it.

I had to kill it. It was going to kill me. And when it would be done with me, it'd go after everyone and kill them, kill them and destroy everything, destroy everyone in the world. Drag everybody into the depths of Hell and drive them to madness as their very beings would burn and suffer and cry out for God to save them.

Images of Yukari, in my head. Images of Hamuko. Of Junpei. Of Kazushi, Fuka. Aegis. Mitsuru. Akihiko. Everyone—I saw them. Many different faces all coalescing into one mass that just enveloped what was left of my coherent mind and I knew that I had no choice but to win this fight—!

 **you think you can defy My will**

I gasped, having not expected to hear that vile voice echo into my ears again—

And then a gigantic tendril came out from the darkness and swiftly blasted out and charged right into Thanatos' skull—

I screamed as I held my head and Thanatos screamed as the tendril, the black tendril with wide and unblinking and laughing eyes all over its form, burrowed deep within his head and spread like a virus, running through and eating my Persona's insides as my own insides were being eaten alive and chewed and dissected and acidified.

 **you are a child**

Then I felt it, I felt my eyes tear themselves apart and I felt my mouth puke out little droplets of red roses, red glittering roses, red glittering roses and jewels that were now going down and out from my eyes and my ears and my teeth and my gums and my nostrils and my fingernails and my toenails and the pores in my skin and my sweat glands and the blood had a rancid stench like something else was mixed in with them—my intestines, my intestines, my intestines were not there _no they were there they had just become mulch_ and _God help me I can't breathe I can't breathe my lungs are now water I can't breathe where are my ribs_ ** _why are my ribs broken_** _what why WHY_ ** _WHY WHY_**

 **I AM THE VOICE OF HUMANITY**

I screamed again. I screamed my usual violent scream, enraged and afraid and regretful but defiant.

 **YOU ARE NOT EVEN A WHIMPER**

But for all my strength and determination, I could merely wail against the darkness as blood spilled from every corner of my body. As I fell into the pool of blood at my feet, all I saw was red and darkness.

* * *

 **THE BLACK BUTTERFLY.**

* * *

Four minutes.

The darkness lasted me exactly four minutes. I knew this because I'd counted. My mind had still been active, for some reason. The overwhelming pain had left my body, and I'd been left in a static black world. I'd felt nothing, seen nothing, heard nothing. Trapped in complete sensory deprivation. Almost unsure of my own continuing existence at that point.

Once I felt my eyelids on me again, I opened my eyes.

I looked at my legs, and saw that they were _much_ smaller than how I'd remembered them. As were my arms. My limbs overall seemed...rather pudgy. My knees had little bruises on them, and I felt my fingers ache with the sensation one would get by biting at their nails constantly. I was wearing shorts. Blue shorts along with an orange t-shirt which had white stripes on it.

* * *

Somewhere cold. A public pool.

I was talking to a little boy. He was in my face, looking at me, shouting at me and smirking. He was about my age at the time, which was eight. He had borwn hair, tussled brown hair, and he had gleaming bronze eyes. He was saying things, petty things, cruel things that little children would say to make themselves seem better than the other person. Meaningless talks, meaningless everything, but he continued his idiotic ramblings because he was a child and children were prone to these kinds of things.

And then I grabbed his right arm at the elbow and gave it a great _pull_ right down from the forearm. My hand was white and my eyes were burning and I wasn't saying a single thing—

* * *

I smelled something odd, all of a sudden. Something familiar to me, yet I couldn't name it. I did not know what to name it, exactly. I dismissed it. It itched at my nostrils, however, and so I tracked it to the orange t-shirt I was wearing. I wondered why it was smelling the way it was smelling, and then I saw red blotches on it. Thick and fresh red blotches. Like someone had broken a red pen and spilled the ink onto my shirt. The red blotches were on my shorts, and on my face as well. I wondered why, and then I found that there were blotches as well on my hands. My right hand, mostly.

My right hand, which was holding a hammer.

And then I heard screaming. I looked down and there was a leg. A leg that'd been broken and snapped at the shin bone. I did not know why there was a leg there, a broken leg right under me, and I just stared at it like I was staring at a corpse. I tore my eyes up and saw the owner of that leg—she had black hair kept in a bun, wore glasses, and had a rather tiny mole under her left eye. She was screaming, shouting, crying. Her face was red and her bony hands made it to her exposed leg, clutching at it and trying to keep all the blood in. But so much blood, so much had already spilled out. A pool had already formed under her leg.

And I'd caused it.

* * *

The snapping sound was loud, too loud, but nobody seemed to notice the snap and only heard the little boy crying out for his mother as they spotted the bone sticking out from his right arm and the blood fountain gushing from the wound and the bone spilling down to the floor, down to the tiles next to the pool, sweat beading down my head as I stood there, stunned and oblivious to what I'd just done as my eyes turned grey and my hand turned its natural color again.

The little boy's mother came down as Uncle Aizen and Aunt Seiko ran over to me and held me, the little boy said I did it while crying and bleeding and screaming and inelegantly shooting out snot and spit from his nostrils and mouth, and the mother of the little boy screamed at my uncle and aunt grabbed me and reminded her of the obvious fact that little boys are not able to snap bones, little boys my age couldn't possibly be strong enough to do such monstrous things, and soon a lifeguard came in and he hadn't seen me snap that little boy's arm, so he took my uncle and aunt's side and the mother of the boy whose arm I'd snapped was infuriated—

And I'd forgotten this. I'd forgotten all of this because of the _thing_ that was inside my head, the _monster_ that had grafted itself onto my strongest Persona, the beast, the killer, this Death that was inside me, and I hadn't known, I hadn't known I'd done something this cruel, _God help me, I'm so sorry_ , I was remembering things, I was remembering things, I was remembering _every single thing_ —

* * *

I'd caused this. I knew. I had to have caused this. This wasn't even a point for debate. The hammer was in my hand. My Aunt Seiko was on the ground. Bleeding. Bleeding. I'd broken her leg. I'd snapped it, crushed the bone using the hammer—

* * *

I was remembering.

There was a man, a man no older than thirty-three, he must have had such a pitiful life, because I saw him, my uncle and my aunt were trying to get me away from the sight, but I saw him, and I couldn't stop seeing him because of the crowds, the crowds calling out for him, telling him to stop, telling him to not jump, telling him he had so much to live for—

* * *

I was in a classroom now.

It was daytime. It was spring. I was nine years old.

There were four people surrounding me. Four people, children, larger than me, older than me, but still children. They wanted to pick a fight, and so they went all up in my face and outright asked me for money. I did not have any money at the time, because my aunt would still make me bentos despite the cruelty I would so obviously display, but the children staring me down did not care at all and they demanded I stop lying. There were other children in the area, for we were all at the playground. But there was no one willing to aid me, to get me out of this situation.

Willing to let me get harassed by these people because they did not like the look in my eyes.

* * *

For four seconds, I met my eyes with the eyes of the thirty-three year old man atop the roof and he froze in place. He froze, staring at me with a look of torment that was only reserved for those in the fiery pits of Hell. He stared at me and all at once he gulped—he wanted to live, he wanted to _live_ , but he couldn't he couldn't he couldn't, he was so sorry, he was so sorry, he said something, he said an apology to someone, and then he fell, he fell, vertigo stunning him and making his mind spin—

 _Stop it,_ I said but didn't say, _stop it, stop it now, stop this_ —

* * *

I started crying while shouting that I did not have any money, but they still refused to believe me for some reason, and then they saw my eyes, then they heard me snarl, then they saw my fingers and nails turn white, and they, horrified, ran. But one of them could not escape. The one who had pestered me for my money the most. He had green hair, green eyes, and thick fingers. I grabbed him by his green hair and slammed his face into the muck and the ground. Mud and soil and black things were in his face, his eyes, his teeth, his tongue. He was screaming at me to get off of him, but I did not care and I grabbed two of his large and thick fingers, my waist pressing down on his back and on his center of mass as I bent his left shoulder the way I needed it to bend—

* * *

He landed headfirst into the ground and his head was rammed into his stomach. The sight disgusted and horrified everyone there as blood leaked out of his mangled and twitching bones and flesh, his arms splintered and his legs absolutely crushed at the knees. As a woman in the crowd screamed and a baby in the crowd cried, my uncle and aunt took me by the arms and brought me into the car, and my uncle noticed my eyes and he gaped at the sight of my eyes but he said nothing as he brought me into the car.

* * *

I grabbed his middle finger and ring finger and pulled them away from each other in horizontal directions, the flesh between his fingers stretching and stretching—blood was out, blood was spilling out, he was crying, he was screaming, like that other child at the pool, he was calling for his mommy and begging his mommy for something, anything, begging for me to stop as he thrashed about helplessly.

Four minutes passed before a teacher saw the whole debacle and pulled me away from the child as said child screamed and screamed.

I was not allowed to stay at that school from that point onward.

I screamed, I begged God to save me, crying out, but there was no voice coming out, no words coming from me, I begged, I cried, I was desperate to escape, but I was trapped in the body of a nine-year-old me that didn't care about anyone or _anything_ —

* * *

And as my aunt's leg was broken and bleeding and exposed and red and yellow and just rotting away before my eyes, someone called out to me, and I turned to him. A blue-haired man who looked exhausted and dejected, with stubble having built up at the bottom of his chin. He was shouting at me, caught between rage and despair and horror.

And as my uncle screamed, " _Makoto_ , stop!" The world bent and cracked and sounded like stones being steamrollered—

 **you will not fight Me  
you cannot even hope to**

I stared at the gleaming, bloody hammer in my hands before dropping it. I maintained my gaze upon it for a few seconds, my breaths hitched and my teeth chattering. I turned to my uncle, who stared at me like I'd committed a murder, and I kept my horrified gaze upon him for four more seconds before I ran. I ran, running while covering my ears, my eyes, my head, to my room, I slammed the door, I closed myself off to my room, and none of this mattered, none of this mattered at all because I'd forget all of this soon enough—

But I found myself horrified again once I'd slammed the door.

 **you know it in your soul  
for I am your soul**

The blue door to my bedroom had turned into the green door of a rooftop. The world was grey and gloomy and it was about to rain, due to a typhoon about to hit. I was standing here, on this roof, having returned to the body of my sixteen-year-old self, and a deafening calmness grabbed at my head, my arms, my legs. It etched into the skin of my forehead, the veins of my temples, the muscles in my arms, my shoulders, my head, my eyes. Wresting freedom away from me, making worms scramble into my arteries. Painfully, I retched, and I'd have screamed if something wasn't gripping my throat, something I could not see, nor hear, nor feel.

 **you wish to face me  
** **this is the battleground**

My right arm went upwards, suddenly. I wasn't pulling it up. It was like a string had been attached and was dragging it upward, like my body was a marionette. My left leg, upwards, carrying me, propelling me forward. I couldn't speak, I couldn't scream, I could do nothing, _nothing_ , my body was acting on its own, I wanted to stop, right leg right leg _right leg_ , _I want it to stop_ , my legs were jolting upwards and downwards and my body was shambling forward like an assembly of parts attached only by strings—

 **your past is one drowned in blood**  
 **it is something you wish to forget**  
 **but I will not let you**

I writhed and the thing keeping my voice from screaming disappeared, and so I shouted and I screamed and I fought the control, fought whatever was bleeding into my mind. But the more I fought, the more my will weakened. The more I screamed, the more I felt my organs burn. My efforts drove me mad with pain, sweltering vicious things festering and boiling in my lungs and my brain and my spinal cord most of all.

 **time never waits**  
 **it delivers all equally to the same end**

For the thousandth time, I apologized to my sister. For removing everything she'd been, everything she'd had. For stealing her world and making it mine. For fighting and waging a bloody and pointless war in her and our parents' names. My mother. My father. My sister. I had too few memories of them. I did not know how much I'd really cherished the few I had left. And as my mind went numb, as my throat ran dry, as my nerves buzzed and sank inward, I remembered again.

There was a voice I hadn't heard in quite a long time, a booming yet hoarse voice that was calling out a name. I turned my head upward to a man with bleary eyes, a tall man whose hair was blue and whose gaze was stern. He was clean-shaven, but the paleness of his skin only served to accentuate the dark circles that had built around his eyes. His messy blue hair lay in strands and nearly created a fringe large enough to cover both of his glazed eyes.

There was a woman whose hair and eyes were a vibrant red, and she was calling out the same name my father was calling. She had skin of a more rosy color than my father's, and she moved with much more of a spring in her step. A bounce, if you will. That being said, she was frantic and she was scared. Her long hair was messed on account of her being absolutely frazzled by the situation set before her.

We found my sister, alone, weeping, in a corner of the mall. In an area where female clothes are distributed and sold. My father grabbed her and embraced her, apologizing for having lost track of her and begging for her forgiveness as she hit him over and over again in her childish rage. My mother scolded her for leaving us, but stopped scolding her after five seconds and asked for forgiveness as well. And I remember standing there, my little body too impotent to do much of anything. And I watched as my family came together, united by their own mistakes.

I wondered who Hamuko might have loved, hated, feared, cared for, befriended—had she lived, had I not taken her away from the world. Had she—had she been who—

 **you who wish to safeguard the future** **  
have accomplished nothing but condemning yourself to Oblivion**

The pain reverberated throughout me, seared me, made me scream, made me weep.

I couldn't help but recall Yukari now telling me not to leave her again, her crying her eyes out and tears falling on my head. I remembered Yukari getting angry at me for calling her out in that alleyway, and then I saw her being frightened by me, and what I'd done to her, and me screaming at her on the beach. I remembered slamming her face against the glass of the mirror and I remembered hearing her hateful and enraged self when she'd seen me in the TV world. I remembered so many cruel things.

And then I remembered her asking me for forgiveness on that boat on the way home. Asking me for forgiveness after the battle with the tank. Trying to help me after I'd first encountered The Umbra. Handing me food and talking to me and asking me out on little dates and little get togethers and being so unnaturally kind to me after everything that had happened—shouting at me in my bedroom and telling me to stop hating myself as I lay there and suffered—

 **for those who battle the Darkness  
** **will entrench themselves into the shadows  
** **those who carry a banner against evil  
** **will drown themselves in the Abyss**

And then I saw her telling me she'd loved me, and she had been scared and _I_ had been scared and she'd said it and it had felt like the first _real thing_ she'd ever said to me since I'd found out what had happened to Hamuko—I raged and I screamed more and more, my insides burning and melting and bleeding, and I wanted to fight back, I wanted to battle this demon, I wanted to blow it up and watch its remains go all across the world because I wanted to go back, I wanted to go back to her, I'd promised her I'd come back, I'd promised her I'd come back, I needed her, I'd promised her, I'd promised her, _I'd promised her_ —

 **those who wish shoulder the light of Heaven  
will burn and bathe in the fires of Hell**

I, who cursed the world with my presence and ruined people's lives in my rage. I, who'd broken people's hands, snapped children's arms, broken shin bones, made people leap off buildings just by looking into my eyes, every single human being bleeding and dying and suffering. Every sin made itself known to me, every single drop of blood I'd spilt drowning me.

 **and those who seek the light of the World**

And then I was at the edge of the rooftop.

Beneath me was an abyss, a void. I knew it was bottomless from the sight alone. Souls, wraiths, sinners from bygone eras swirling and screaming, their arms and their heads swaying in unison. A garbage heap of the damned; the rapists, the murderers, the liars, the broken and the beaten. Their number was like sand by the seashore, their screams were drowned out by the sounds of weeping and the gnashing of teeth. Singing a choir of lamentations, they bathed into themselves while trapped in the world where the flame nor the worm would die, the Heavenly God unable to answer their cries for salvation.

I closed my eyes and I wept for them. Uncontrollably, tormentedly, I wept; my heart racing and my nerves unravelling.

And as my strength shattered, as my life burned through my eyes and seared itself into my brain, as my left leg rose and was off the edge of the rooftop, I told God what I had believed were going to be my last five words.

 _Dear God..._

 **are those who will consign themselves to the Night.**

 _...let me_ —

 _ **"Is that it?"**_

My hand. My hand. Something was grabbing a hold of my hand. Some _one_ was holding my wrist, wrapping its fingers around my bones.

And all of a sudden, I was pulled upward at speeds that would wreck an elevator, tossed back onto the rooftop. I slammed my head, my back, my legs on the tiles of the roof as I flopped onto the grime, control returning to my body. I spit and breathed and tasted, yet there were still lingering pains in my spine and my skull and my neck—

I tore my head up to see whatever had saved me, and I shuddered. I paused. I almost wanted to dive into the void at the sight of it. It was the being that looked like me, with black hair and white skin. Instead of a crooked and maligned smirk, he gave a scorned grimace at me. His golden pupils burning and flaring right before my very eyes. He stood over me, hunched over and condescending. Looking down at my sprawled body like I was a shameful display.

 _ **"You're a disgrace!"**_

His boot met my face and I felt three of my teeth crack. As my nose snapped upward from his kick, he stomped on my skull before proceeding to kick at it more and more. I tried putting my arms over my head to protect myself, but he kicked at my shoulders in response. Then my scapula, then my fingers. Every single kick, a welt or a cracked bone. Every single kick, like a dumbbell to my body.

 _ **"Get up!"**_ he screamed, as he continued booting me, **" _Fight me!"_**

And once he was at his forty-fourth kick, I found the strength to grab his foot. Clenching my weak and wretched fingers around it and holding it back with all my strength. Gripping it as I gritted my bleeding teeth and gums.

" _This is all your fault_!" I screamed dryly as I lunged at my Shadow, pushing his leg aside.

I tackled him, and after I'd tackled him to the ground, I choked him. I wrapped my hands around his neck in the same manner I had done to the illusion of my sister, months ago. Strangling him, his veins popped in his forehead and he frothed at the mouth as his windpipe narrowed. And as he scowled at me, as he made his glare, he said to me with that poisonous voice of his that remained as clear as day, _**"Yes,**_ **my _fault!_ My _fault! Always someone else's, never yours!"_** And then he _laughed_ at me as he ranted, **_"'Your fault, your fault, your fault!' What are you, five!?"_**

He kicked my stomach and sent my body flying away from him.

 _ **"The Shadows are monsters!"** _ he disgustedly snarled. _ **"The Shadows are demonic, vile, evil pieces of death-worshipping garbage that deserve to be blighted out from this world! Every single one of them claws at the minds of humanity and eats at them and kills them, they are evil, they must be stopped! And if you have one inside of you, if you have a Shadow in you, you must be evil as well! But no, no you**_ **can't _be evil! You_ can _'t be like them!"_**

I pushed myself up from the ground as I spat out little red blots from my mouth. I dragged myself, glaring at the beast before me. My opened left hand coiled into a fist and I growled, "You're not real. This is all in my head."

 ** _"Fine, believe in your lies,"_** he said as he lifted a gleaming silver object up from out of nowhere—a damnable, terrible, miserable silver object that had burned itself into my memory as one of the most destructive things imaginable—and pressed it to my forehead. **_"If you truly think you can win this struggle—"_** I felt something thick and familiar in my hands, **_"—then shoot me! I'm counting down to one! Five!"_**

I staggered to my feet, my knees shaky. I scornfully, pridefully glared at my Shadow, my dull and grey eyes now reddened and swelled with black eyes and damaged skin. I said nothing, for I couldn't think of anything to say, but my counterpart would just not keep quiet as he burrowed the gun further into my head. **_"You hate the Shadows and you call them evil, but you're evil, too! You're capable of being just as monstrous as they are, and yet you_ still _think you have the high ground! Four!"_**

I screamed, I raged, I lashed out at it like a child, my grip on my Evoker shaky and tears welling up in my eyes. "I'm not a monster," I said so quietly I didn't even hear it, "I'm not a monster! Don't you dare lump me in with them! **_Don't you ever call me a monster! This is all your fault to begin with!"_**

He laughed. He laughed its usual demonic laugh as his vocal chords rang out and projected his murderous voice into my ears, _**"If the fault is mine, it is yours, because I am you! Violence is in your bones! It runs in you like it's your blood! It's a part of you, and it has always been a part of you! I am you and I have been you for your entire life**_ ** _and_** ** _—"_** its face hardened and just drove a knife into my eyes for a mere half of a second, ** _"_** ** _—and_** ** _just because_ you don't like me _, you're willing to kill yourself!? Three!"_**

"Stop it," I woefully growled, "stop laughing at me!" I brought my own Evoker up to his forehead and held it there, pressed it against him, burrowed it into his skull, and he just laughed more and more and more and more. I hated it. I hated him. I wanted him to stop.

But he smiled that wide, garish smile of his—it was now stretching and jagged, his jaws ripped apart at its seams, tearing and unraveling at where his upper and lower lips met and forming a Glasgow grin that bled out red—its teeth, its teeth were sharp, its teeth were a golden shade but they were rotted with greenish grime mixed in with thick and fresh licks of blood. **_"You can't stand it, you're afraid, you're a coward, because you can't accept your own evil, your own malice, your own hatred, your own vileness, because you don't want to be a monster!"_**

And I just bled at the mouth, from my left eye, from my right ear. My teeth chattered mildly as I shakily held the gun to The Umbra's forehead, a one-sided standoff between me and my evil. A standoff I had to win. A standoff I could not afford to fire last. We held our guns to each other's heads and waited for the other to fire. Sweat beaded down my temple as I hung my head low, coughing out drool and more red spatters.

And then it said, _**"What about Yukari?"**_

I lifted my head up at it, my scowl fading as my eyes widened.

A hospital bed.

I was in a hospital bed. White. Smelled of medical supplies. Bland. Blank. I was in Tatsumi Memorial. This had been months ago. I remembered it. I remembered it too clearly. Another memory. Another memory, not of something horrible I'd done, but of something good I'd experienced. Another world of torture, another emblem of my past meant to torment me, I was sure.

"You're awake...!"

I turned my head to her, to a brunette with milky brown eyes and a pink cardigan and a white choker. It was the afternoon. The sun was setting, and Yukari Takeba was speaking to me, having stayed by my bedside since a week my first night. After I'd awakened to my Personas, awakened to my power. Awakened to Orpheus, to Thanatos.

"Um, how do you feel…?"

I answered Yukari calmly, telling her I was queasy but able to manage. Then trying to sit myself up in my bed, only to become lazy and fall back down. Lying in my sheets. My eyes on her. My eyes trapped, looking at her. Looking at a woman who had once been my friend. A woman I had loved and still did.

"Thank goodness, you finally came to," she sighed relievedly, before telling me that "This is Tatsumi Memorial Hospital. It's just a short walk from the station. The doctor couldn't find anything wrong with you. He said you were just exhausted." And then she was annoyed, as she would always be when I'd be put in danger, something I'd always been amused by. "How much sleep do you _need_?" She snapped, raising her voice suddenly. "It's been a full week!"

I merely repeated to her, in wonder at my circumstances, that it had been a full week.

"Well, yeah…um…," Yukari tensed up again, her voice entreating into softness. She kept her legs shut and put her hands on her knees, her eyes then meeting her hands. "I'm sorry about what happened…I should've done a better job of defending you…but your power…," she lifted her head to me, her eyes meeting mine and showing some form of... _admiration?_ "It was amazing!"

Amazing? No.

No. It was not amazing. It was a curse. A vile, putrid curse. One that had brought all of us into a horror story beyond our wildest imaginings. It was a mangled, misshapen, horrifically demonic blight upon the psyche, something that had been thrust upon us — no, worse yet, it was something we had chosen to take up for ourselves, something we had willingly accepted as tool to use to fight against the darkness.

She had chosen it. I'd chosen it. We both had chosen this path for ourselves. And I hated it. I hated it so much. She did not deserve this.

She did not even...

"To be honest…I already know about your past. But, it didn't seem fair, so, I wanted you to know about mine."

I'd risked my life for her more times than I could count. I'd killed monsters and allowed myself to become a monster for her. All this time, I'd done everything in my power to make sure _she_ above everyone else I'd known was safe. Safe from the Shadows, safe from the nightmares.

And yet there were times when I would petrify her with my eyes alone. When I would lash out against her during the most inopportune times. When I would...become willing to probe her memories and thoughts simply because I was upset at her. I'd thought I'd wanted her to be safe, but I had been wrong. I had always been wrong. I'd wanted a reprieve. I loved her, because she was that reprieve, because she was a reminder of when things hadn't been so _horrible_ , when I'd had her and Hamuko and the whole world in my hands.

I...who only saw Yukari Takeba as just that. A reprieve.

She continued speaking; about her father, about her motivations for battling the Shadows, about her own powerlessness and her failure to protect me as much as she should have. I spoke to her about my own fear, about how I had been afraid as well, leaving out the particular detail that my fears had been banished the moment I'd realized the truth about my family.

Relaxing her. Calming her. It truly hadn't been her fault. None of this had been her fault.

It had been mine. And it still was mine. It always had been mine.

"While I was waiting, I thought to myself, 'I've been hiding so many things from him…as soon as he wakes up, I'll tell him the truth.'" Hauntingly, she smiled at me again, smiling a smile I hadn't seen out of her in a long time. "So, thanks for listening. I've been waiting to say that to someone for a long time."

I breathed, having returned to the present day and staring directly into the Umbra's hateful gaze. I stepped back from my Shadow, my hands curling into fists. "What are you doing to me?"

It cared not about my queries, and merely continued on its point _, **"What**_ ** _about Junpei?"_**

And then the world shifted again.

I remembered a classroom. My classroom. Morning. My first day at Gekkoukan High. My very first day. After the hustle and the bustle of the train and the commute and the speech by the principal, I'd hoped to get some rest by sleeping on my chair.

Another extremely clear memory.

I raised my head, angered, because there was a person who was interrupting my sleep. I didn't know how much of a friend I'd begin to consider him as later on. Naively, he smiled as he adjusted his baseball cap. Impolitely, I asked him what he wanted, preferring to doze off to sleep rather than have a chat with this individual.

He exclaimed that I should have allowed him to at least introduce himself before writing him off, and rightly so. His name was Junpei Iori.

I was walking down the street, now. Junpei Iori was walking alongside me. It was evening, we were both heading back to the dorm. Again, this had been months ago. I remembered this as well. I remembered how Junpei's face hardened once I asked him how his life had been before he'd joined S.E.E.S.; perturbed by this, I asked him what was wrong.

He stared into the starry night skies with a miserable look in his eyes, a look in his eyes I did not wish to see him have, as he said he did not really like it at home. I asked if something had happened, and he responded that he'd prefer to tell me whenever we would become better friends. Only to tell me about his boozehound of a father minutes later after I would tell him my own sob story about how I'd falsely believed that my relatives had never cared for me. How I was a victim, a victim, _a victim_ , when in truth _my presence alone_ had ruined everything for everyone.

We would shake hands later on as an affirmation of our friendship, and then I would gain the Magus Arcana from this affirmation.

 ** _"What about Fuka? Kazushi? Kenji? Aegis? The senpai? Ken? The dog?_ Yuka? _"_**

And then I was talking to Aegis, on the beach. I was telling her about how I needed her to protect my friends. Thinking that I was lying to her by saying that they held a special place in my heart when I thought I'd _hated_ them and _hated_ their ways, even though I knew they were right to fear me, that I was an object of their fear, that I was a monster to them and for _very good reason_. I would tell her to address me by my first name because I needed friends, I needed someone who would at least treat me like an actual person.

But by doing this, I was disregarding Fuka, who was now pushing me into my bed and telling me to rest. Kind, loving, friendly Fuka. The Fuka who would not leave, the Fuka who'd trusted me and stayed with me when few others would. The Fuka whose obvious feelings I would not return because she deserved someone else, someone who wasn't a monster, someone who wasn't stuck in the past, someone who wasn't busy loving a shade, loving someone who wasn't _someone_ but rather a _time_ _when I was happy_.

Kazushi and I were talking to each other, now. On a bench, chatting about God and whether or not he truly did exist. Kazushi would later on hand me a sports tape, calling it a good luck charm. This was something he'd treasured, something he'd kept to himself and now it was a token of our friendship. A token I would later despise all because it represented Thor, a Persona I could have used to save someone, someone whose importance I'd taken for granted until it had been too late. My friend, giving me something of extreme value to him...only for me to _hate myself_ , _loathe myself_ , not caring about him in the slightest.

Yuka, I'd hated Yuka when I'd first seen her. Her bravado, her buoyant behavior, her refusal to let the pressures of the world get her down. And then she would support me when I would struggle against the Shadows, support me in my madness, my monstrosity. Trust me. And then I would betray her, thrusting her into a lightning storm and frying her alive and making her comatose and ruining everything. Everything. She had cared for me, she'd been one of the people who'd ever _cared for me_ , and I'd betrayed her so malignantly, so horrifically, so vilely that I was just abominable.

Mitsuru Kirijo, a thorn in my side. I saw her raging at me in the command room as we volleyed hateful statements at each other for our respective hypocrises and failures as people. She would then apologize to me when the world would turn on both of us and unleash circumstances we hadn't yet foreseen. Twice, she'd done this; on the second time, she spoke of her mother, and how she died at the hands of the Shadows. She then was speaking to me about my recklessness in rescuing a lone little boy trapped in the damnable tower, noting how I was a most valued member of the team.

The dog was jumping on my leg, and I was terrified at the sight. And then the dog nudged up against me as I lay alone against a tree at the Naganaki shrine, mourning Yuka's loss and raging at myself for my own iniquity. Kenji and I, talking about ramen and women and people he had a crush on. Talking to Akihiko about his childhood with Shinjiro, Shinjiro saving us at the last minute against the Chariot and the Justice, Ken being scared and frightened like the little boy he was supposed to be and me shouting at S.E.E.S. to discharge him from the team only to take him in when the going would get tough.

And then I saw Chihiro and myself purchasing manga in a bookstore. Yuko training a bunch of sixth-graders for the future. Saori crying into my arms because of her issues at home. Mamoru and I sparring before eating at a diner and talking about our ruined homes and families. Maiko being consoled by Yukari and me, about how her parents would not get along and how she needed to cope and to love them still because they were still her family. The monk at the shrine, who would've gotten drunk at Escapade had the club not been destroyed _by me_ , telling me to wash flowers with him. The weak and sickly young man, Akinari, who would urge me to spend time with the living because of his weak constitution and I would laugh and tell him of how my company is that of dead men.

Hidetoshi, searching for the smoking culprit with a determined look in his eyes. Hidetoshi, talking to me about the practicality of school uniforms. Hidetoshi, telling me to do better in my exams after having gotten into a bit of a standoff with a schoolmate he'd been arguing with. Hidetoshi, telling me a man has sincerity when he has nothing else, unknowingly enacting the last conversation he would ever have with me. Hidetoshi, dead. Dead. Dead. On the ground, eyes wide and hollow and chest crushed and bones destroyed. Because I had been his friend.

Hidetoshi, suffering and dying all because of who I was, and what I had meant to the creatures of the darkness.

 ** _"They're not your friends. They're excuses."_** I took a rather long look at the being that looked like me. _**"To think you are so weak so as to let yourself die because you are just afraid of who you are. You'd leave them behind, all out of your unwillingness to cope with your own self-hatred and disgust."**_

Something arrested me, stopped me from screaming and ranting into its face. Not the Shadows, not Nyarlathotep. Something potent, something from within myself.

I saw Junpei again, raging at me for having smashed Yukari's face against the glass of the mirror and almost knocking me out cold. Fuka, her ears bleeding because of Full Blast, bleeding and making her faint, now brain-dead because I'd refused to keep myself leashed. Mitsuru and Akihiko, defending my body from the tank and the cannon and getting blasted by a grenade—shouting at me and berating me in the command room, confronting me for my deceit, making it known how much of a monster I'd made myself out to be.

My uncle, Uncle Aizen, the man whom I'd thought was an abusive monster, begging me to come home with him, begging _me_ , the man who had broken his wife's leg, the man who'd used a hammer against him, who'd shown himself as a monster several thousands of times—me telling him I had a duty to fulfill, people to save, too much was hanging on me, I'd put someone in a coma, I needed to do this, I needed to do this—him leaving, having realized that I had changed and yet had not.

 ** _"You are afraid. You are afraid of becoming a monster, so you label those around you tethers to your humanity, sheltering yourself away from the pain of knowing just who you really are. You tell yourself you are good, because you have them by your side. Because you love them, because you fight for them. Because you risk your life for them. Monsters would not love. Monsters would not risk their lives for others. You cannot be a monster."_**

Yuka, Yuka, _Yuka,_ _dear God, I'm so sorry, Yuka,_ electrocuted and friend and screaming and crying, crying out for hope, for help, for God to save her, for her mother to save her. Yuka in the hospital, her reddened eyes blankly staring at the ceiling, and she would be saying nothing, breathing faintly, with me of all people weeping at her bedside for all the things I'd done to her—

 ** _"And so it becomes acceptable and even mandatory for you to sink to your lowest depths in the name of protecting them. For every action you take is for the express purpose of keeping them safe. And when the horror within you wells up and rears its ugly head, you quake in fear, for you cannot, you_ must _not be the horror. You must not be_ the evil _. Two."_**

 _Yukari_ , Yukari shouting at me at the beach on Yakushima. Having come hot off the heels of having discovered the truth of her father. She screamed at me, telling me I didn't know a single thing about her and what she was feeling, and I was enraged _not_ because I'd truly wanted to cheer her up but because I'd thought she'd have become my _friend again_ if I were to comfort her in her hour of need. Yukari, terrified during the battle with the tank and the cannon, me telling her I was going to save her and everyone and her _apologizing to me again_ —her in the hospital, firing an arrow at me, scowling at me, hating me again, looking at me in a way that I didn't want to see from _that little girl from ten years ago_.

Yukari, in my bedroom after the train and the Priestess, telling me that she'd been worried for me and enacting the Lovers Link while inadvertently making who she truly was known to me. Yukari, crying because of me, dying because of me, suffering because of me, comforting me on that rooftop, telling me how much time she had spent struggling with me and apologizing for having struggled with me, and all I'd ever done was see her not as Yukari Takeba, but as that girl from ten years ago, from when I had been happy.

When I had done nothing for myself. Nothing but wallow in my own loathing. Wallow, and allow people who had feared me and yet cared for me, _actually genuinely cared and loved me_ , to save me when I'd need to be saved.

 ** _"The cruelty within you is within every man, woman, and child. The Shadows are that which lie at the bowels of humanity. As such, every single human on this planet is capable of committing sins as grave as yours. Your belief that you must become a monster in order to fight monsters has cost you everything, however. You have done evil in the eyes of your allies all in the name of destroying the Shadows. And yet instead of attempting to pick yourself up and dust yourself off, you weep and mourn and cry about your own weakness, never making an attempt at change. Never even making an attempt to become a better person. And so you repeat your sins in an endless cycle of hatred and self-pity, forcing your allies to pick your pathetic corpse up after you. You care not for them as people. You care for them as ways to keep_ you _human._ " _  
_**

Its expression was solemn. Its mouth was still. Its hand remained directly onto my forehead. It kept itself in a static position and didn't say a word after its lengthy speech about how much of a terrible human being I was. My hand was shaking. My hand was sweating. The Evoker in the palm of my hand twitched and made _clack_ ing noises as I tried to steady my hand. As I tried to make sure that there was _still_ a conflict.

But there was no conflict. The conflict had already ended. I'd already lost.

I took one large and deep breath. I pulled my hand downward, and let it rest on my side. I let the Evoker make its clattering sounds as I dropped it to the ground.

 _ **"What do you truly want?"**_

My mouth gaped as I breathed. My heart was almost palpitating and I was done closing my eyes. I apologized to myself. I apologized to every single human being I'd hurt. I remembered their faces, and I begged God to show those who'd died because of me some mercy. Little tears fell from my eyes. Little transparent droplets. No extravagant, enraged flurry of screams and weeps. Nothing large. Nothing powerful from me. For I was nothing. I'd never been anything. And I'd only realized this now.

I'd wanted to escape the nightmares, escape the darkness. I had thought I wanted the freedom to finally live my life like a normal human being and face a brave new world with my friends at my side. But I was selfish, cruel, manipulative, pathetic, condescending, and deceptive in my pursuit of that because the friends I would experience this brave new world with were people I'd use to strengthen my abilities and give myself some form of happiness in this miserable, piteous, destructive, crippling world. This world of darkness, of monsters, and of the men they'd belonged to.

It was this miserable world of darkness and monsters and men that forced me to finally realize just how easily the lives of my friends can be shattered into nothing, beaten into dust, and sent to God with little of my say in the matter. It was in this miserable world that I'd found people whose lives depended on me, people who'd changed because of me, people who'd matured and grown and lived and seen things they'd never seen before because of me. People I was ashamed to call _friend_ because I was a selfish, egotistical, violent, self-righteous, cowardly, abhorrent young man who was willing to use them as means to obtain power to fight against the darkness and quell the nightmares that had plagued me for far. Too. Long.

It was in this world that I'd found a woman who cared for me, wanted me to live, had hated me, had fought with me, had struggled with me, had struggled because of me, had lied to me, had lied for me, had said she'd loved me, deserved so much more than me—

—a woman I'd only cared for because of what she meant to me. Rather than for who she really was.

I knew exactly what I wanted, now more than ever before.

I stared at it. At him. At me.

"You know, I...I never really knew how much I...," I muttered, to myself. "I never knew...how much they mattered to me. How much all of them mattered to me." And for a second, his hand, the one carrying the Evoker, trembled. And at that, I gave him a sad smile.

 _ **"Is this really what you want?"**_ he asked me. I did not answer him. Which was an answer in and of itself. _**"So be it."** _ His expression hardened, and he smiled. As did I. _ **"ONE!"**_


	7. Still Alive

" _Persona_!"

Earlier, Takeba and Yamagishi had lent both of their Evokers to the most courageous newcomers—Miyamoto and Hayase—in order to at least give them something to fend for themselves in case something were to ever impede their progress. Hasegawa hadn't needed one; dia worked, regardless of whether you had a summoning tool or not.

Hayase was using his Evoker for the very first time, and when his Persona made its triumphant barrel out of his skull, the very first order he'd given it was a simple _Stab it!_

The eight-limbed creature that had once been Hidetoshi Odagiri was struck in its side by a katana — a katana as large as a light post, adorned with the pattern of a jade dragon. The blade was made of an impeccably-refined diamond, and gripping the hilt was an overly-muscled powerhouse wearing a darker-than-night _gi_. Locked around its shoulders, wrists, thighs, and shins were plates of armor that resembled dragons' skulls, each skull colored a beautiful shade of emerald green. Its helmet, like that of a mercenary, bore a majestic white plume.

 _ **"Thou art I, and I am thou,"**_ he gallantly declared, as he drove his great blade further into the body of the former Emperor, actually rending the Shadow to the ground. _**"From the Sea of Souls, I cometh. I am Futsunushi, Master of Blades!"**_

But despite this excellent display of power and force, he was still _just_ a starting Persona. A low-level Persona that needed to cooperate with other low-levels if they were even going to have a chance at fighting any foe. Odagiri spun like a whirlwind and before he knew it Hayase was on his knees and clutching his throat, his chest, his stomach, his _eyes_ —Futsunushi's armor cracked and sputtered into pieces—pieces of his body were shattered, just shattering into the air, like fragments of glass—

"Hachiman!"

Hasegawa ran over to Hayase and began healing him, Miyamoto's Persona charging at Odagiri.

"Wait!" shouted the Star, "Don't be so reckless—!"

The Lovers, who'd just arrived, watched the scene unfold. The Adjustment summoned his own Persona. Then the Fortitude, then the High Priest. The Magus and the Star had already summoned their own Personas, and they were going to pile on Odagiri with everything they had.

The Empress' Persona was in shards, in pieces, fading away after having battled with the creature, "T-Takeba!" shouted Kirijo, who herself was covered in ash and had keeled over, "Get Yuki _and get him into the Room_!"

All of a sudden, the Lovers remembered her purpose in arriving to this dismal place, and took to running.

* * *

 _ **STILL ALIVE.**_

* * *

She ran like she had never run before. Her legs were kicking up dust and soot and grey into the thick air, covering her body even more. Her friends were battling, risking their lives, right behind her — all she needed to do was get Makoto Yuki out of there, get him out of there and then they could all just go home and forget this miserable nightmare, forget it and try to live—

But she would never forget this even if she'd wanted to, and she told herself that she _should_ never forget this because forgetting it would just undo every single terrible thing that had happened.

She could barely even see through the smoke and the soot, but she saw something that _looked_ like him, had his head, had his posture, his shoulders — she took it as him, she wanted it to be him, _needed_ it to be him — but it was staring at something large, something squirming and wriggling and moaning and groaning, floundering in a pool of its own black blood—like a whale that had been divided into six separate pieces but had somehow managed to _live_ through it all.

She didn't even see the whole being, yet she wanted to vomit from the stench, from the sounds it made, from the ghastly stink its exposed guts and organs made in the air, and when she fought back the retch, she found herself directly looking at the blue-haired boy she'd ventured in this world for. He was kneeling in an almost _submissive_ fashion, simply gazing upon what was the stuff of nightmares.

"Makoto...!"

* * *

Hachiman's massive slab of iron for a sword made a great sweeping motion to its right, dragging the ash through the air in its force and just _barely_ missing the eight-armed Shadow. And as Miyamoto grunted out an expletive and gripped his knee, he realized that he'd lost sight of Odagiri in the _one_ second he had swept his blade in his corrupted schoolmate's direction.

And then he immediately felt a presence emerge from _right behind him_ —

Six slashes, six sizeable gashes running over his chest and his stomach. Blood spilling like fountain water and a scream that sounded like a snarl. The Chariot was sent back, the sheer force of the slashes forcing his body to fly upwards and crash down in a noticeably large arc.

Miyamoto hacked and bled and felt tears well up in the corners of his eyes because _it hurt, it hurt so much,_ and no vision of Yuko could save him, no vision of his nephew or of his teammates or of Makoto or his parents or _anyone else_ could save him now, could force him to get back on his feet, because he couldn't feel his legs anymore. He was sprawled face-first along the bloodied and gray ground, dust and soot filling his chest wounds and stomach wounds and making his blood sear into his skin.

Jerkingly, he moved his head and got a look at the eight-armed monstrosity looming over him, wondering and hoping that there was indeed some truth to Hayase's statements that this had all just been some ridiculous dream—

Like a _missile_ , something hit Odagiri and sent him flying. Something large and black and bulky. Something with blonde hair, something that wore a set of armor that resembled electrical panels and was a horse from the waist down. Castor reeled from the impact of his heel on the newest victim of the Crawling Chaos' corruption, a corruption caused by the sheer dishonor to life that the Armageddon spell was.

"You!" the High Priest called to Hasegawa, as he gripped at his aching and almost _broken_ ankles. " _Fix this guy_!"

Hasegawa didn't even make a statement in affirmation as she dutifully ran over to the bleeding Miyamoto, a weakened but still strong Hayase following her closely behind.

The Corrupted Hidetoshi Odagiri was driven a hundred feet through the ground from the impact of the hit, and yet within just four seconds pulled itself back onto its even-more broken legs. It staggered and bled out red, not black, its mottled form fizzling into sandy particles, sandy particles that mixed in _with_ the red.

"Orgia Mode activated."

The Corrupted whipped its head around, its fiery eye sputtering out light through the air—

—it was being drilled now, being drilled into the ground. Blood, red blood, sprayed out of its form as the artificial Persona dug and cut and simply burrowed into its body, red and dust and flecks of decayed bone just flying in the air now. Mangling the Shadow's form, Palladion gave all it had in this fight, to the point where its host was already overtaxing its central processes just trying to increase the lethality of its Persona's attacks—

What passed for the android's ears, its sizeable headwear, burst open into an array of wires and gears, hissing and puffing out gasps of smoke. Sparks and nuts and bolts and other steely things flew out of the android's inner cranial structure as it stammered and jerked and made its motions like a marionette, and this overblowing of its own systems gave the Shadow ample time for a counterattack.

Another whirlwind, and the fight was over.

The android lay bare, parts of it strewn all over the place. Steel bolts and copper mechanisms and titanium seals continued to rain down onto the ground as the Emperor of Smoke rose from his hole, battered and wounded and with a hole too big for its own good—yet still alive.

"Come _on_...," muttered the Magus, as he raised his blade and charged, hoping his inevitable death would at least be quick and painless.

* * *

Makoto stared ahead at the mass of exotic organs and remains, almost transfixed at the sight of it. The Lovers wondered for a second if he had truly caused that mess before weighing in the odds and then coming to the conclusion that he _must_ have. She gave one glance at his expression, and immediately saw something in his face that she had never wanted to see.

She noticed the blue set of clothes that had once belonged to Elizabeth, noticed the silver gatherings of sand at Makoto's knees, and platinum blonde flecks of hair in his bony fingers. But, too concerned about _getting him and everyone out of this place_ , she didn't put too much thought into what the clothes and the sand and the flecks of hair had really meant to him.

She just grabbed onto his arm, saying his name, "Makoto, come on," but he wouldn't budge from his spot. And he kept on giving such a poisonous, _venomous_ look in his eye directly at the writhing mass before the both of them, the writhing mass shrouded by the fog, the mass that was spasming and groaning and still moving, still just _barely_ alive.

And she remembered him fighting for her, fighting and suffering and sacrificing his own body just for the sake of protecting her, protecting everyone, and as such she immediately knew, she _knew_ just what he was planning right now, and they had no time for that!

"Makoto, come on!" she screamed, still tugging at his arm. "Please!"

She remembered him lashing out against her, on that beach, all those months ago. She remembered his room in shambles, he for some reason having just completely ravaged it. Always an enigma. Always a mystery. _It's never just one thing with him, it's always something that makes the world bleed and choke and die._

"Makoto, snap out of it! Come on! We've gotta go—!" She then stopped talking, because Makoto looked at her. Looked solemn. Looked... _scared_. Terrified. But of what? And _why_? "What are you doing?" she managed out, unable to even imagine him looking at her the way he was looking at her now. She looked around before returning her eyes to him, and she simply asked, "What are you looking at?" because she couldn't handle the suspense any longer.

His brows furrowed, and his voice was cracked, as he simply and pitifully said, "I can't. Yukari, get out of here."

 _...What...?_

And The Lovers, having known what he was planning to do, _because what else was he going to do_ , shouted, stammered out, "I'm not gonna go without you!" and began tugging harder on his arm.

Dryly, tiredly, he hoarsely spoke her name, "Yukari—"

She knew what he was thinking, she knew him, she knew what he was like, what he would do in this situation, how he would react to a gigantic monster that needed to be killed, and as such she needed to get him out of there, she needed to pull him away and do whatever she needed to do in order to pull him away—

"You can't fight that thing!" she yelled at him, before he could continue trying to drive her away any further, "It's too big—!"

"Haven't you seen what I've done to him _already_?" Roughly, he pulled his arm away from hers as he reasoned in an uncannily _calm_ way, "If I let this chance go, he's going to keep on coming after us. I'm ending this now. You have to get out, now."

And he turned away from her, his eyes set on the giant mass that had been Hamuko Yuki's Velvet Room servant. His eyes set on yet another battle where he would risk his life, where he would suffer and bleed and choke on his broken bones, either for his own sake or for the sake of his friends.

The Lovers remembered what Philemon had told her, remembered Makoto bleeding and burning and crying and screaming, remembered that he'd bled and burned and cried and screamed _for her and everyone else_ , and that if he were to keep this up, he was going to— "I can't just leave you alone here, with him...!"

Impassively, he just said to her, like she had _no right_ to decide, "I've got one more trick up my sleeve." In his eyes was a sober glint, and in his voice a melancholic assertion. "I have to go alone."

"What are you talking about!?" she shouted at him, after having landed a rather stinging slap to his right cheek.

"Don't argue with me." That was all he could say to her. That was all he'd had. He was completely out of energy even for an _argument_. "Please."

"Is this your way of 'making things right again!?'" she shouted, now trying to use what he'd said to his uncle in a desperate plea to not get him to destroy himself and leave her and everyone else behind, "Letting yourself die — is that going to fix what happened to—!?"

Pathetically, he murmured as he hung his head low, "Don't say that, please — just go, leave — "

She shook her head, her hands balling up into fists as she screamed at him, "I am not going to leave you here—!"

"Yes, yes you are," he ordered her bluntly. "Or else he'll kill all of you."

And she just couldn't _believe_ him right now, " _He_ 's going to kill _you_!"

The intense way he looked at her now was yet one more look from him she had never expected to see. She almost took a step back as he exhaustedly explained, "I'm not going to let anyone else die because of me again. I've got a plan. It will work, I think. You have to trust me."

Unable to handle the mountains of excuses he was pulling out of nowhere just to kill Theodore, she crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes in aggravation as she said, "You're not even trusting _me_ to help _you_!"

And all of a sudden, he screamed, " _You've done enough_!"

There had been no anger in his scream, however. No aggressiveness on his end. Only a kind of desperation she could not even _fathom_ coming from him. He looked at her like he was looking at someone he did not want to lose. His hands were shaking, and so were his knees. His grey eyes narrowed the way eyes would narrow when someone would cry. He marched over to her and as he marched, she remembered the times he'd wept for her and because of her and because of his own self-loathing, and she now couldn't help but ask herself silently if his shoulders had ever been so broad.

She opened her mouth once more in an attempt to say something else that would drive him away from this miserable place, but he shut her up. "Months ago, you told me, 'Please don't leave me again.' I won't. I'll come back, I promise."

She was now remembering more and more and more things between the both of them, things she should have done with him instead of _hating_ him and _fearing_ him and never ever knowing just who he really was nor what he had truly felt about her. And as she saw him now, she saw not a strong and powerful Persona-user embittered and defiant at the world due to the circumstances of his miserable past—instead, she only saw a man.

She knew he had said what he'd said to drive her away. To break her heart and to assure her that he was going to come back. But she knew he was lying, she knew that he was scared and frightened and _terrified_ at the thought of leaving her and everyone else behind to take care of this ungodly monstrosity—she knew this now because now, for the first time in an eternity, she was actually seeing _him_ again.

Not the monster. Not the madness. Just him.

And when she saw him again, she expressed just how much of a beautiful and bittersweet fondness she had for him in three simple words:

"I love you."

And when she said those three precious words that she had thought she'd never be able to say to him, she saw.

His lips quivered, and his eyes widened. His hands shook at an even more troubling rate, and he looked at the ground like he was in mourning. He breathed like he was having an asthma attack as he clutched at his Compendium, his blue book, the blue book that had been _Narukami_ 's, and he gritted his teeth because now he wanted to stay with her, now more than anything, but he knew that he could not stay with her without condemning her.

She watched him break and tear himself apart, now feeling something sting behind her eyes, unaware that she wanted to cry just as much as he did now. "Please don't let everything rest on your shoulders," she pleaded, gripping him by his collar with her creased and emboldened hands. "We can help you, let us help you! You're not alone in this—!"

She stopped speaking because his lips were on hers.

And a torrent of memories flooded her mind.

She and he on the riverbanks. Them both in the middle of the Dark Hour, the world bleeding for the first time and him turning into a monster right before her eyes. Them both reuniting after ten years of separation, her horrified at him, her seeing his kindness and his happiness and all of a sudden later on _not_ disliking the rumors pervading the school about them both being a couple. The Lovers Shadow, shredding their relationship. Them patching it up. Then, the summer festival, where they would speak of mothers and familial ties and the things which burdened her. The Hermit, ruining everything again, driving him and her to the brink. The confrontation in the hospital, her regret, his nightmare, a fear in her she had never expected to rear up because of him, a pity for him, for the man who had lost and regained everything, for the man who had cared for her, the man who was willing to break Hell in half for her, the man who was willing to burn in the fires for her.

She just lost any will to argue, then and there; and as her lips parted from his, he said to her with a tenderness she had never thought could have come from him, "I know. I was never alone." She memorized every single little detail in his face, his expression something to behold. "That's why I can't let you. I can only hope that one day, you'll forgive me."

The tears started coming, now, "Makoto—"

A slam. She hadn't even noticed the book.

Orpheus immediately bolted out of _Grimoire Animus_. Makoto wasn't even able to look at her.

 _No._

His massive metal arms wrapped around her frail human body of flesh and blood, and she, unable to escape his grip, merely outstretched her arm to Makoto, merely reached for him, knowing she might as well have been reaching for the sun.

 _You can't do this to me!_

And then she stopped remembering him fighting, she stopped remembering him doing all these horrible things for her and his friends' sakes, and all she thought of now were the times she and he had smiled, she and he had been together and treated each other like normal people instead of remnants of each other's past. Him hanging around the railings, on that boat on the way home. Him smiling at her, as she would tell him to address her by her first name and just being so _accepting_ of that. Them both at the summer festival, tending to a young boy whose mother had suddenly left him behind. Them both inside Chagall Cafe, in Paulownia Mall, drinking coffee and confessing things that they'd never have confessed to anybody—

"Makoto—!"

And as she was being carried by the Master of Strings, as she called out his name and reached for him in futility, he turned and ran. He ran to the gigantic mesh of body parts that had once been a demonic black horse, planning to end what remained of its life. But neither he nor she knew what was down below.

* * *

"Senpai!" Iori called to the Empress as the android and its Persona were taken out of the fight, "Did you get any of its weaknesses before—!?"

"I couldn't sense any weaknesses!" screamed an aggravated Kirijo, still keeling over from the pain of earlier. "But it's impervious to flames and ice attacks!"

" _Wait wait wait_ , impervious means it can't be hurt by it, right—!?"

" _Akihiko_! Hit it with lightning!"

Polydeuces immediately complied as Akihiko held a terrified yet resolute gaze upon his newest opponent. Cracks of lightning bore down upon the form of Odagiri as if the Shadow were a metal rod, the bolts making terrible noises as they would make their blazes through the air.

But the Corrupted was affected little by the thunderous lights stabbing through and into its form. Shrugging the 100,000 volts of electricity crashing into it as if they were merely thrown stones.

Akihiko merely grunted, and he mentally called for _more_ bolts of lightning, for _more_ blasts of pain, for _more_ power. Anything, anything at all, just to make sure Polydeuces would put him down for good, but then Odagiri started walking, started marching over to him, staggering yet _marching on_ , and soon that march turned into a run and then from that run it became a sprint and then from that sprint he unleashed his flurrious set of swords.

Hermes carried the Star out of there before the blades could run through his form, and Odagiri was left stabbing the air—

"Nemesis!"

Odagiri whipped his form around, and was met with a hail of red bullets. Razing him, Nemesis' scarlet eyes spat out savage bursts of red light, each small burst charging with the force of a cannonball. The blasts were enough to make the Emperor of Smoke stagger in his steps and writhe in his agony and yet Odagiri would _still_ rise and march forward, brandishing his blade and spinning them through the air and roaring this time, roaring like an animal—

Only for the actual animal of S.E.E.S. to unleash its Persona and have him pounce, holding the Corrupted soul down and giving three massive _bites,_ each bite with the force to crush raw steel. Making Odagiri writhe, making Odagiri scream his vile screams. Cerberus' three maws clenched tight around the creature's head and shoulders as the Emperor's multiple arms slashed and cut and dug into the three-headed dog's belly—Koromaru howled and roared and folded in himself in pain, curling into a little white ball—

But Kazushi Miyamoto wasn't going let this chance for attack go and he ordered Hachiman, "Run them both down!"

Hachiman's metal slab that was too big to be called a sword impaled the three-headed dog and the Emperor of Smoke down into the ground, running through them both like they were paper. The dog wailed and whimpered and twitched and spasmed and frothed in his maw—Kirijo and Aragaki and Sanada recoiled in horror, Iori gritted his teeth, Amada fell to his knees and wept—

The Emperor of Smoke, like a cobra, then stretched his mouth wide. Wide enough to swallow an entire person. From his abyss of a mouth crawled out a ghastly groan, one which sounded like a baby elephant being eaten alive.

"Guys!" Miyamoto screamed to his allies. "Zap me! Pin everything on my Persona! Gimme all you got! Use me as a lightning rod—!"

Only for a golden creature to land atop him and wrap its gleaming legs around his body.

His muffled screams were drowned out by mechanical screechings as the rest of his teammates watched. What was on him was a beetle, a golden insectoid creature with blasphemes engraved into its form, and it said things no creature in the mortal plane had any place saying, said things that would send any mortal to Hell were he to say them—

—and it had been the same kind of golden creature that had latched itself onto Makoto Yuki, just moments ago.

"Wh-what!?" exclaimed Kirijo.

Akihiko screamed, "Get it offa him!" as Miyamoto's Persona shattered into nothingness alongside the dog's. Shattering into ashen fragments, like the rest of the world.

And then, everybody saw.

The chasm opened to an abomination the likes of which nobody could possibly describe.

Erupting from the ground were massive black arms that broke the rules of nature with their existence alone. They grabbed at Theodore's destroyed body and pulled it down to the bottom of the Monad Block. Hauling the massive dying body of Nyarlathotep's servant into the abyss, they scraped the air itself as they moved, a violent and otherworldly nothingness echoing from their forms. Madness, given form. Terror itself now able to commune with the physical plane.

Yukari Takeba thrashed about in Orpheus' arms, being carried through the winds. She stared at the mass of arms despite the fact that merely _seeing_ such things would drive any normal person to madness, and she stared because Makoto was just dumbly standing there, as if unable to turn away from the sheer spectacle of it all. And because he just stood there, his eyes locked on the thousand violations, he fell into the darkness below, a chasm having opened up from under his feet and taking him.

As the arms gathered the gigantic corpse in themselves and pulled downward, dragging it into the abyss, Yukari screamed and thrashed in her frustration and her rage and her hatred of just _everything_ as Orpheus shattered into nothingness, shattered into faded glass, as Yukari fell to the ground, tumbling a few meters away from her allies.

"T-Takeba...!"

Though Mitsuru was the first to call her, Junpei was the one who ran right to her. But all he heard from Yukari were screams and all he could do was hold her as she continued to thrash in defiance.

"Y-Yuka-tan!" Junpei shouted. "Snap out of it!"

—and all she did was push him, and crumple to the ground. She hadn't even the strength to let out a sob, let out a word, let out anything that could properly articulate the rage and hate and fear and love and sorrow and agony coursing through her veins and boiling her blood. So she just slammed her fists down on the ground as she continued to scream and choke and weep in her unabashed loathing and self-pity and contempt and depression.

So Junpei just held her close and he hoped she would stop soon because his whole body hurt and he didn't know what else to do.

But as Polydeuces made his stride forward, Kirijo warned, "Wait, Akihiko—! Shadows coming in from above, they're—!"

Before she could even finish, their two foes that evening had crashed to the ground like meteors. One golden creature, the size of a dog, a massive roulette wheel of sorts hovering at its back. The other, a giant woman with a blue mask and pale yellow hair, dressed in white and kept in a bouquet of sorts, thorny dead roses wrapping around her legs. And as they descended the Persona-users heard a sound. A horrible roaring sound, something that they'd been repressing. Something that had bubbled up in them in their horror, something that was coming to the forefront of their minds and blaring through their ears and they knew the sound wouldn't ever ever stop till they were all dead and gone.

The two Shadows they had been meant to face that evening came down from the sky, as though they were angels of death. The choir of the underworld rose and the whole world seemed to demand the blood of the foolish mortals who'd dared to battle against destiny itself. And everyone fell silent. The Persona-users became frozen, in their fear. This was simply too much for them all to deal with at the same time.

Mitsuru's breaths were heavy and her knees were weak. Akihiko could barely stand and his arms had become lax. Junpei held himself close to Yukari, who had found herself frozen in place as well. Ken tended to Shinjiro, whose side had blasted in pain due to withdrawal. Koromaru whimpered as he curled into himself, his ears folding backwards in his terror as his tail fell between his hind legs. Mamoru and Saori had made it to Kazushi, but they couldn't free him from the golden creature wrapping its mechanized legs around his body. So Kazushi lay still, almost dead it seemed, as the two who'd tried to rescue him also found themselves completely stilled at the sight of the unbridled horrors coming down upon them all.

The Fortune Arcana made a silent descent as the Strength laughed very loudly, so loudly it stabbed at the mortals' eardrums. And as she laughed, more golden creatures came from the foggy skies. Shades of them came, but they emerged and they swarmed. Golden Locusts; despite being as large as pillows, they still were like sand on the seashore in number. Each one made such horrific _clicking_ noises and the edges of their claws gleamed even in the musty landscape. Their golden sheens shimmered as they got themselves to ground and jittered and jutted their bodies around like the insects they were. The grey, smokey world turned golden and vibrant but for all the wrong reasons.

And despite their insectoid appearance and the clicking noises being loud enough to drown out a train rushing by on a subway, their voices could still be heard. Speaking of things, of events that had happened, events that were happening, events that could have happened, events that could happen, events that would happen in the future, may happen in the future, may happen now, may have happened in the past. They spoke and their voices were all clustered. Each voice spoke of a whole new timeline, a whole new world.

Strength explained to the poor humans trapped in this golden nightmare that Fortune's Golden Locusts can send anyone into another timeline, can transport their minds into world they may never have even been able to imagine.

But S.E.E.S. knew. They knew that such a fate would've been too kind for them. These thousands of insects were going to devour them all alive. Right down to the bone. There was most likely to be nothing left of them. Not even their weapons, not even their clothes. They were going to die, in this rotten and dismal place. And they could have left. They could have run away. But they had chosen not to.

They had chosen not to because I, Makoto Yuki, had trapped myself in this Greek Hell. I had willingly descended upon a Shadow far too powerful for any of us to take on because I hated it. I hated it, and so I had thrown my friends' lives away. But in the end, they had still made the choice. In the end, they had still decided that risking themselves in the name of saving someone like me had been worth it all along. So they stood.

Junpei stood himself up on his blade and pressed the Evoker to his head before pulling the trigger. Yukari stood up along with him, knowing that even without her own Evoker she would be able to at least heal someone. Mitsuru and Akihiko looked at each other and nodded, Akihiko managing out a weak "It's been an honor," before pulling his own trigger. Mitsuru herself unsheathed her magical blade and stood tall, Shinjiro getting up from his agony and raising his massive axe. Ken summoned Kala-Nemi and held Koromaru, trying to comfort him in their last few moments as the dog continued to whine. Mamoru and Saori remained close to Kazushi's body, but stood their ground as well, summoning their own Personas.

They were going to die. And they were going to die fighting. Because they knew, after everything they had been through, that this was the only fate that could have ever awaited them at the end of their journey. They had consigned themselves to the darkness, enduring battle after battle. Excruciating pain, both physical and emotional. The team may have been led on the field by myself and Mitsuru, but every single one of them could have left at any time. They did not because they could not, because once a man were to see the darkness of the world in all its ingloriousness, he would find himself unable to turn back. Unable to plug up his ears or cover his eyes.

For they did not fight the Shadows because they wanted to, they fought the Shadows because they were compelled. Because even if they were to die fighting against such ridiculous odds, they would have done something that had meaning. And in this impossibly horrific world, that was enough for them.

But not for me.

 **" _ONE_!"**

 _ **BANG!**_

The indescribable primordial mass that rose from the chasm I had fallen into wailed and blared out its pained groans echoed through the last floor. The Lovers and the Magus saw in it a resemblance to a ribcage during open heart surgery. The Emperor and the High Priest were convinced it resembled a hairless mammoth with sixteen trunks and forty-four eyes. The Adjustment and the dog could not even comprehend its shape, and thus were both overwhelmed by an impossibly strong grip of fear. The Empress and the Star and the Hermit only saw it for what it was: an extremely powerful Shadow none of them could ever hope to defeat. Not as they were.

But from the way it screamed, from the way it flailed, from the way its body thrashed about through the air, they all knew that it was in _pain_. That this monster that had a million eyes and arms and hands and _everything else_ was suffering, and those who knew me best, those who knew that there was only _one_ person who could've done something so horrific to a creature that already was an eldritch horror, they watched. And they hoped. And they were awakened.

"Makoto."

And I stood. I stood and I saw them all. Surrounded by gold.

I stood on the back of a Persona that was three storeys tall. His face was white and his hair was gold. His armor was red, and his joints were bronze. The lyre on his back was large enough to squish a van, and his red eyes flared open as he saw all the living injustices swarming around our allies. All that mattered was getting everyone out of this nightmare safely. And so my Persona grabbed at his lyre and strummed, and a single strum of his strings washed over the world like a firestorm hotter than a million heat deaths of the universe.

I saw everything, now. I saw each individual crease of skin on every living being. I saw every single little detail in the glint of a smile, the wracking pain of loss, the numbness of apathy, laughter and its bombastic nature, anger and rage marring a face so suddenly and so powerfully. Each fold of flesh, each little movement. An entire world of emotion. And it all mattered so little.

I didn't know if it was more a blessing than a curse. But I was willing to face the consequences of it, whatever they were to be.

 _ **Thou art I!**_

 _ **And I am thou!**_

 _ **Thou hast proven thyself worthy of my power!**_

 _ **I am thine Persona, thine True Self!**_

 _ **I am Orpheus Telos, Grandmaster of Tragedy!**_

And the sound sent the world crumbling.

A thousand 8.0 magnitude earthquakes ravaged the grey dead block of Monad as the Shadows swarmed. They did not swarm for my allies, however; instead they charged for the exits. Charged for any world that would take them as long as it would not be this one. The Fortune, the Emperor, and the Strength all scrambled for the upper floors as the Golden Locusts attempted an escape in droves. The golden world was now in disarray and every single creature that was not human nor Persona fell into an inordinate cluster of chaos that I hoped would not be able to escape.

The whole of Monad would crumble. Every single block. No monster would escape.

And everyone saw me. Everyone saw me and could say nothing. Everyone witnessed me, coming down from my Persona. But they didn't look at me like they were looking at a man. They were looking at me and they could no longer keep their secrets. They could no longer hide behind the mask of mundanity. So they looked at me and they saw me for what I truly was and were not in the slightest going to keep up pretenses.

Yukari was the only one to step forward. And she and I shared a look that neither of us knew how to describe, a look filled with something neither of us could discern in any meaningful way. And even as the world continued to crumble, even as everybody came back to reality and saw the cracks begin to form and the world begin to break and heard the rumbling noises grow ever louder like a million elephants stampeding, Yukari and I could not tear ourselves away from where we were now.

But I stumbled. And I fell into her arms.

And her heart dropped from her chest and she could not fathom what had just happened to me. But then he came.

"He is asleep. He's gone through quite a lot, this evening."

She saw him; the person wearing the white mask, the one who had told her of my destiny. The one who had saved our lives more than enough times, the one who was willing to end my sister's life to ensure that havoc does not tear apart the time stream. And he said:

"Makoto Yuki is going to die in your final battle against the Shadows. He will give his very soul to save all of yours, and, through impossible odds, attain a power so immense in its scope that not even I would be able to render it accessible to mortals as I am. He will then continue on living the rest of his days for another few months, a soulless and forgotten husk of skin and meat wandering around and dying slowly. On March 5, 2010, his brain will shut down. Only one will remain by his side at that time, and you all will attempt to reach him only to find him unfeeling. Mere days later, he will perish; pallid, cold, withered, and ultimately just another corpse to the rest of the world."

So Yukari held me in her arms, held me again and promised both me and herself that she would not let me go anytime soon—but then Junpei came. Junpei arrived, Junpei grabbed my other arm and shouted at her to "Pull!" as he ignored Philemon and did his best to ignore the rock falling from the sky and the dust and rubble coming down upon them all. Mamoru and Saori grabbed Kazushi and pulled his unconscious body, the Locust that'd wrapped itself around him having made its escape from the crumbling world just minutes ago. Mitsuru, Akihiko, and Shinjiro all dragged what was left of Aegis, each of them carrying different parts. Ken and Koromaru were the first to get to the Room, and the former shouted.

"Hurry up! Get in!"

And Philemon turned his back on us as Yukari and Junpei dragged me and everyone made their scrambles to the Room. Philemon looked at the black writhing mass of everything, the Crawling Chaos I had utterly ripped apart, and he looked as though he were sad, for the very first time in his existence. But as I was dragged and as I looped in and out of consciousness and unconsciousness I heard a voice I would never forget.

 **human**

 **you have changed nothing**

 **the apocalypse shall come upon**

 **you and your human ilk**

Philemon's hands grew bright as he stared at Nyarlathotep and brought the light to him. Mamoru and Saori and Kazushi had made it to the Room, and were already calling out everyone else to make it to the closest thing we had for a sanctuary.

"I'm sorry," I said to Yukari as she continued to carry me, dragging me by my arms. "I'm sorry for lying to you. I'm sorry for seeing your memories."

 **and you shall accomplish nothing**

 **everything you've ever accomplished in this**

 **wretched life of yours will be forgotten**

Philemon rose from the ground as the light in his hands grew brighter and brighter to the point where it would blind anyone unfortunate to see it. None of us looked back at the light; those in the Room covered their eyes as they kept on calling, kept on calling for everyone to just _come on_ and enter and before they knew it Mitsuru and Shinjiro and Akihiko crashed into them with a ton of metal parts.

"I'm sorry for smashing your face into a mirror. I'm sorry for yelling at you on the beach. I'm sorry for only caring about you because you made me happy. I'm sorry for loving the you of ten years ago, and not the you of today."

 **put to waste, put to scrap, never to return**

 **never to live again**

 **in your hubris, in your defiance of the word of destiny,**

 **you will doom humanity**

"I'm sorry for always leaving you behind when you told me not to leave you again. I'm sorry for always putting you through the biggest nightmare of your life. Please, forgive me."

 **and I, The Crawling Chaos**

 **shall watch as Hell scrapes Heaven**

 **and Death befalls the world.**

Yukari did not say anything. And if she did, I'd have heard it. And the moment I fell completely unconscious again, the moment Yukari and Junpei got my withered corpse to the Velvet Room, the moment the light in Philemon's hands blazed into an eternal light that would never ever be quenched even in the darkest night, the Monad Block made its last gasps and choked and crumbled in itself and died.

* * *

I walked up the staircase slowly.

Never before had my steps felt so heavy. Never before had my heart started racing as quickly as it was at this very moment. Taking everything that had happened into account, of course.

I'd been told that time delivers all to the same end, no matter who you are. You can't plug your ears or cover your eyes. Now, _only now_ did I start truly taking that to heart. I'd found nothing in this world worth any sort of value before I had met any of them. Everything had just been stone, or trees, or skies, or floors. Just constructs of man and nature that would falter and break and crumble to dust.

But then after meeting _her_ , I'd found myself frenzied—in battles, I would give myself and my body over to the darkness and rip and tear whatever stood in my way. For her. I'd wanted and still wanted to protect her; to keep her safe. Not because I'd loved her, but because she had been a reminder. After years upon years of missing her—I had found out that she'd taken up arms against the Shadows as well. I had wanted to keep her safe. I had wanted to love her, hold her, make sure that they wouldn't take her.

But I had held her too tightly—so tightly that she was being strangled. I almost disappeared, my very self almost having vanished under the weight of my sins and my fears. My fears of losing her, of losing anyone else.

So when I opened the doors to the rooftop, when I managed to muster up the courage to face my fears and face her, I very nearly crumbled at the sight of her standing by the edge of the roof, her hand on the guard rail. And when she turned to me, when the wind caused her hair to flutter and flow and brought a cold breeze through the new autumn air, I took her in.

I took every single little detail I could find of her. The brown of her hair. The pink of her cardigan. The deep lines in her hands, the hazel of her eyes, the way her hair spiked up at the ends and how bright her skin was in the sunset. I saw the expression in her face and recognized that it was one of neither love nor hate; it was apprehensive yet welcoming, confidently shy, and bravely afraid.

It was an expression I did not quite know how to discern, and I wondered if even she knew what she was feeling anymore.

There were people who cared about me. People who wanted me to live. People who had changed me, had saved me from myself, people I cared about so much that it made my heart break when I thought of how their lives were going to be taken away because of my own mistakes. I wanted to live. I wanted to live a full and long lasting life with all of them. I wanted to see the world change and I wanted to see them change along with it. I wanted to grow old with these people, continue speaking with these people, doing stupid things with these people, doing dangerous things with these people—I wanted to save this world and I wanted to do it with them at my side.

With her at my side.

But I knew that if I were to create a new world with her, I would have to destroy the old one I had created for myself.

* * *

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

* * *

...I have to say, it's good to be back.

Just put this up to inform you that the story ain't dead. Hence the title.


	8. No More Secrets, No More Lies

There were people who cared about me. People who wanted me to live. People who had changed me, had saved me from myself, people I cared about so much that it made my heart break when I thought of how their lives were going to be taken away because of my own mistakes. I wanted to live. I wanted to live a full and long lasting life with all of them. I wanted to see the world change and I wanted to see them change along with it. I wanted to grow old with these people, continue speaking with these people, doing stupid things with these people, doing dangerous things with these people—I wanted to save this world and I wanted to do it with them at my side.

With her at my side.

But I knew that if I were to create a new world with her, I would have to destroy the old one I had created for myself.

So I took in a deep breath, and I began, "Yukari, I—"

And then she punched me.

She punched me so hard I almost fell unconscious from the force of the hit. My cheek swelled and I felt something wiggle in my mouth as I shakily steadied myself and stammered, "Wh-what—?"

She punched me again, this time in the gut. Almost puked up breakfast and lunch and fell to my knees, clutching my stomach. Yukari then grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and before I could even say anything, she slapped me from cheek to cheek with her other hand, relentlessly smacking me around as though I were a rag doll. The last slap sent me to the ground and then something _rammed_ against my stomach, forcing me to keel over as my guts ached and writhed. She may have been wearing brown loafers, but her kick hit like a shotgun blast.

She then walked away from me briskly and gripped at the steel railings of the roof, letting out a scream that could be heard all throughout the city. But she then turned back around and kicked me again in the stomach, having rushed back to me in the span of a second.

"You don't know how _long_ I've waited to do that," she says, the malice in her voice practically a Shadow all on its own.

* * *

 **NO MORE SECRETS, NO MORE LIES.**

* * *

I had spent the entirety of yesterday sleeping. And even throughout today, I had still found myself rather exhausted. So to call what Yukari had done to me a wake-up call would be fitting, if generous.

"Okay...I deserve that," I said to her, rubbing my cheek.

"Yes, _you do_ ," she said gravely. "After what you pulled, you're lucky I'm not throwing you off the roof."

"I'm sorry...I was scared," was all I muttered out.

" _I was scared_ , too!" she shouted. "You always, _always_ do this! Every single time something bad happens to any of us you put your body on the line and nearly get yourself _killed_ but then you make things so much worse than it ever needs to be! We could have helped you, you could have gone back to the Room, but you just _had_ to go and kill that thing, didn't you!? We could've gotten outta there with everyone we saved and none of that horrible stuff with the arms would've happened! And then you whine and you mope about how much you wanna kill the Shadows and how much you hate them 'cause they killed your parents and your sister and you _justify_ it 'cause they're monsters and you're not so it's okay for you to do the kinda monstrous stuff they do and then we end up hating you again but then you injure yourself and make yourself _more crazy_ so we forgive you and it all happens all over again and it _won't ever ever stop_!"

I let her breathe. I let her stare at me angrily; didn't even move an inch off the ground in case she wanted to throttle me some more. If anything, my ego could use a good bruising. But she had nothing more to say, and everything she'd said had pretty much encapsulated the whole misadventure we'd been on since April. So all I did was nod meekly and let out a solemn, "I know. And I was wrong."

And she continued to look at me. While her posture remained hostile, her eyes turned ambiguous. As though she wanted me to continue. So I did.

"Throughout every single battle, I've been relying primarily on my own strength. I disregarded the input of others' because I was so convicted with myself that I didn't wanna listen to what anyone else had to say. And all that did was make things worse. I just ended up playing into the Shadows' hands and caused divisions in the team, if not outright harming its members both emotionally and physically. I was wrong and I've always been wrong."

Yukari breathed, letting out a weary sigh. She turned her back to me and set her hands on her hips. She stayed silent for a long time before coming out with, "I remember what you said to me."

"Wh-what?" I stammered out.

"When Junpei and I dragged you to the Room, which you totally haven't explained either by the way, you apologized a lot. I heard every word you said," she answered, turning back to see me face-to-face. "What did you mean when you said you saw my memories?"

I blinked at her, then lowered my head. "I'll explain it to you and the team when we get back home."

"Why not now?" she asked, stepping forward.

"Because it's something you all need to hear, not just you. I've also called up the others. Kenji, Kazushi, Mamoru, and Saori have all been contacted. Yuko herself, along with Chihiro and Hiragi-senpai, all seem unaware of what happened two nights ago. Which is good."

"You're literally calling everyone for this?" she questioned.

"Yes. If I'm going to really live up to my word now and actually become a better person, there'll have to be no more lies. No more secrets." Yukari just knelt down and eyed me, boring her gaze deep into mine. Demanding the blunt truth from me with her eyes alone. But I simply told her, "I'll tell you everything you don't know about me, my Personas, that Room, and what I do with that Room. Everything, since the very first day I came back to this miserable place."

And for the longest time, we just shared a look. She said nothing, I said nothing; her breaths were still while mine were labored and mildly panicked.

But all she could do was ask, "What kind of person are you?"

"I'm a bad person!" I coughed out, almost ashamed to admit it myself, despite everything. But I forced myself to continue because how else would I make any strides? "I'm a bad person who's so afraid of knowing how bad he is that he's willing to not listen to anything or anyone else even if he knows they're right. And I hate it that it took me so long to figure it out."

She blinked at me, closed her eyes, and then took in a very deep breath. She opened her eyes again and her expression turned solemn once she said, "I thought I'd feel good when you'd finally admit something like that." She then rose, before sitting herself back down next to me and bringing her knees to her chin. "It all just feels so empty."

We just then sat next to each other in silence, looking at the sunset bathing the whole world. The sky was varying shades of red and orange and purple and we could faintly hear the clamor of the students living out their lives down below. The skyscrapers of the city all looked like monoliths again, like giant white tombs meant for kings. I looked over the horizon and I saw all the buildings, and all the clouds, and all the little walking things that were supposed to be people. I saw everything, and for some reason, despite how _expansive_ everything was…it all just seemed so very small now.

Even this fleeting moment between myself and Yukari seemed utterly insignificant.

She murmured, "Are you really going to try and change now?" in genuine wonder of whether or not I was actually going to stick to my words this time.

"I'll work myself to the bone," I said. "There's so much I can't ignore anymore."

"Do you really honestly think you can make a difference in things now, when we're so close to the end?" she asked.

"I don't know. But I know I can't do it alone," I replied, my voice raised again.

She turned to me, before turning back to the sky. " _Now_ , you need us..."

And we just kept on looking at the cityscape. All the buildings, all the tombs. And despite everything that had just happened to us, I wanted to stay by her side more than ever before. I knew that in the face of the clouds above us and the space above the clouds and the space beyond the space beyond the clouds, none of this would matter in the slightest.

There was something now, between the both of us. Something neither of us could ignore. And while we could have left the spot at any moment, we found ourselves entranced by the sky and unable to push ourselves up and leave. The world seemed so much bigger than it had been in the longest time, and the minutes that passed by while we sat by each other's sides stretched into days.

So I felt compelled to say something. "About what _you_ said to me...that night..."

She kept her eyes on the clouds, her knees on her chest. After a few moments, she decided to answer me. "We'll talk about it tonight. After everything's said and done with everyone else." And then she lowered her head in her knees, muffling her voice and leading to her next statement sounding like _Im thrr lrrbrr._

"What? I'm sorry, I couldn't understand you."

She then tore her face up, still refusing to look at me, " _In the lobby_. Once everyone's asleep."

"...okay."

Her eyes then turned downcast. Her lips pursed. She lowered her head into a sulk. And after another long silence, she then came out with a genuinely morose, "I'm sorry. We couldn't save Odagiri-senpai."

For a long time, I could not find it in me to speak. But when I did, I said, "He wasn't the only one we lost." She turned to me stoically, giving no hint of any expression. I finished, "That woman...with the blue outfit and the silver hair. We...I..."

"What was her name?" Yukari asked after a period of nothing, now looking at me intently.

I tore myself away from the sky to look back at her, and my brows furrowed as my breath turned just a little ragged. And I said, "Elizabeth."

At that, we continued to sit by each other's sides till the school grounds were empty and the clouds grew darker. Neither of us said another word till evening and we both knew that the moment we would leave this rooftop would be the moment everything would change for every single one of us. Whether or not that change would prove beneficial, we did not know.

All I could think about now, during this fleeting moment on the rooftop, was how little of her I had really known, how much of her I had taken for granted, and how if we were going to start again on any semblance of normalcy I would have to do something that terrified me just by thinking about it.

"Before we get back to the dorm, I need to head to Paulownia," I said to Yukari.

"What do you need there?"

Dourly, I said, "I need to talk to the bald hunchback in the elevator."

"He's _there_?" she asked, turning to me.

I nodded. "I need to talk to him for a little bit. It'll be brief. There's something I need to know."

It took a few seconds before she said, "I'm coming with you."

And I said, "Okay."

* * *

Paulownia Mall. Velvet Room.

Philemon was not there. Elizabeth was not there.

But Igor was there. Along with all of my Personas, including Orpheus Telos. But the hunchback had something to say that was enough to make me want to die right then and there. Just straight-up have a heart attack and not have to deal with anything anymore.

"Only eight floors of the Monad Block have been destroyed."

Instead of dying out of sheer agitation, I lived to cough out, " _How is that possible._ I _literally_ broke the block."

"You and Master Philemon," he corrected.

I blinked, "Wait, how —?"

"Master Philemon, in his desperation, unleashed an attack against Nyarlathotep which compounded the effects of your Persona's attack. Even so, all your efforts amounted to destroying a mere eight floors of Monad. Nyarlathotep's influence still thrives, in some small fashion. Your allies did not notice that the door to the block remained standing upright, because they were weak and tired and all they cared about was getting you and everyone else who'd been trapped in the tower back out into the world."

So I leaned back in my seat. Half-defeated, half-exhausted. All-around just resigned. "So Nyarlathotep may come back?"

"Yes."

"And Philemon?"

"He gave his all to bring Monad down as best he could. He has silenced Nyarlathotep for a time; the Crawling Chaos is dormant. But not gone. His presence still stains the tower. Master Philemon himself...there is no trace of him."

So I looked at my hands. Looked at them pitifully. Then looked at my Personas. All of them were silent. Refusing to say a single thing. As if they knew of the precariousness of my situation in terms of both my bonds and my progress in Tartarus. So I muttered, "It won't end with the twelfth Shadow, will it? It's too simple. The Shadows won't spend an entire year breaking me and my friends down without one last heartbreak to be done with it all. Am I right?"

"That is for you to find out," said Igor, simply. "Elizabeth gave her life to rescue you. Master Philemon allowed this Room to physically occupy Persona-users who were not Wild Cards, all to ensure success against Nyarlathotep's servants. You have come this far on the backs of others far stronger than you. Now, you are left to those beneath you. You have led your Social Links this far, and you now must bear the weight of your actions. No one else can help you aside from myself and the people you've forged bonds with."

I couldn't argue with that. So I did not. So he continued.

"There has been a change in you recently. Have you noticed? And I am not referring to your change in circumstances. I am referring to the change in your mentality. Going forward, there is one thing you mustn't forget. Shall I remind you of your commitment?"

"I chooseth this fate of mine own free will," I said, repeating the contract I'd signed so long ago.

"Whichever path you choose, I shall respect your decision," said Igor, his voice stoic and serious, deepening somewhat. "However, only you will bear the responsibilty for your actions...no matter what end they may bring about. Please remember that."

He knew what I had to do. And I knew what I had to do. About this Room, about my Personas, about everything I had kept shut from the rest of the world for what seemed like ages. So in our mutual knowledge of how this needed to end, I said to him, "I'm sorry for Elizabeth."

He mourned, but did not weep. He was heartbroken, but he did not allow the anguish to reach his face. And instead of scowling at me he let out a somber look as he broke out into something like a smile. "She knew the dangers of her task. And fulfilled her duties magnificently. The Room shall never forget her sacrifice. You had best not, either."

"No more secrets. No more lies. I'm telling them everything."

"Do what you will. This is your journey."

And I nodded. And he grinned. And I got up from my seat and left the Room. Meeting up with Yukari, so she and I could both return to the dorm and do what needed to be done.

* * *

The lobby of the dorm was filled with people. All of them had the same face on. Rather understandably so.

Junpei was seated on the couch, along with Mamoru and Kazushi. Mitsuru was seated on the armchair while Akihiko and Shinjiro stood behind her, as they often did. Ken was sitting on the floor, Koromaru next to him; both of them sat at the feet of Junpei. Saori had pulled up a seat from the kitchen and was sitting next to the aforementioned couch. Kenji was left to sit at the coffee table.

Fuka was apparently supposed to stay at Tatsumi Memorial for the next few days to get treatment for something that'd happened to her eyes, and Aegis was having repairs done to her somewhere in the city.

All of them fell silent the moment Yukari and I walked in, through the door. I looked upon them all somewhat bashfully, and rubbed the back of my head before asking, "So...has anyone else filled the new guys in on what everything is?"

"We were waiting for you to show," Junpei said. "Now that everyone's here...who has the first question?"

Kenji raised his hand first, so Junpei gestured to him only to get this: "What. Happened."

What a completely natural question to come up with after the horrors of two nights ago. And I wondered just where to begin as Mitsuru said, "My grandfather, Takeharu Kirijo, attempted an experiment ten years ago which had gone awry. This experiment had led to the creation of the Dark Hour: a one-hour time period that rests between 11:59 and midnight. During the Dark Hour, anyone who is not inside a coffin will be preyed upon by Shadows, extradimensional beings that feast on human minds. Those who have Personas are the only ones who can fend off the Shadows in any way. The Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad is tasked with the killing of these Shadows in the case they would ever pose a threat to the city, with the ultimate goal of finding a way to end the Dark Hour for good."

"Okay," he said. "Could you run that by me one more time?"

" _No_ ," said Mitsuru.

"I still can't believe it. Everything from that _Monad_ place all just seems like a blur in my head...," Mamoru muttered, straining to remember everything.

"Memory loss is normal, in the first few days," said Akihiko. "Also disorientation, lack of sleep, a chance you'll end up bawling to yourself out of nowhere. It happens."

"Good to know," Mamoru said in a half-whisper.

"So that masked dude gave me, Kenji, Hayase, and...sorry, who're you again?"

"My name is Saori Hasegawa," Saori said, replying to Kazushi.

"Right, Hasegawa-senpai—he gave all four of us Personas and... _now_ we gotta fight the Shadows?" Kazushi asked.

"Ideally, yes," I said. "But you don't have to. It's your choice, whether or not you wanna help in the fight. We won't hold it against you if you decide not to join up."

"That's...nice, I suppose, but...well, how're you guys gonna end the Dark Hour in the first place?" Kazushi then questioned. "What, 're you just gonna fight and fight 'til it all ends one day?"

"There is a plan," Mitsuru said. "Every month, during every full moon, a large Shadow will appear in the city and cause havoc. We've discovered that there are to be twelve of these large Shadows. Two nights ago, on October 4th, we'd faced two of the twelve."

"We faced a _lot_ more than that, come on," grunted Mamoru.

"The Arcana," Mitsuru cut in. "It's ingrained in your memories, I know it is. It's what happens when you gain Personas. Do you remember the Arcana of the Shadows that had descended upon us when we had tried to rescue Yuki?"

I felt a little uncomfortable at the mention of my name, but said nothing. Mamoru and Kazushi closed their eyes firmly, trying to recall the names until Saori said, "There was a Fortune...and a Strength. Both of them were...powerful, in comparison to the...other Shadows that'd swarmed us. Not counting the one with the yellow scarf...," and then her eyes widened, having remembered something, "and the horse..."

When Kenji heard _horse_ , he held himself and asked, "What...happened to the horse, by the way...?"

"I did," I said to him. "I ripped it apart. But I don't think I killed it."

" _What_?" Kazushi asked flatly. Saori, Kenji, Mamoru, and Yukari all looked at me in something like horror, as I explained.

"It was taken away before I could deal the final blow," I said. "Taken by something I don't even wanna talk about—"

"You mean Nyarla-whatever?" asked Junpei.

"— _how do you know_ about Nyarlathotep?" I blurted out.

"While you were off fighting that Nyarly guy's servant, everybody here save Fuka and Aegis was in the Room. Masked guy told us about him, said how dangerous he was compared to everyone else. And I guess it's safe to assume that's the thing you _wrecked_ at the bottom of Monad, right?"

I shook my head, "I may have _hurt_ him, but I don't think I killed him. I don't think anything can kill him, now that I think about it. I went to the Room earlier. The hunchback said only eight floors of Monad were destroyed; not all."

"Wait, but didn't you bring the walls down on the place!?" exclaimed Kenji. "You couldn't have _not_ destroyed everything..."

"I didn't. Even Philemon tried to help bring the walls down, and he didn't do much either," I grunted.

"Philemon?" Saori asked.

"The guy with the mask," I said. "While we were making our escape, he tried to help add to the damage. Ended up blowing himself up in the process as far as we're concerned. Even with _that_ , there're still remnants of Monad. On _any_ of those two floors, Nyarlathotep might still be alive somewhere. He'll most likely be very wounded, granted, but he'll still be there. And the horse might still be there, and the Fortune and Strength Shadows might still be there."

"Even the guy with the scarf...," Saori muttered.

"Okay, what's this with 'the guy with the scarf'?" I asked. "What are you talking about?"

"Another Shadow, Yuki," said Mitsuru. Before the Fortune or the Strength arrived, there was one Shadow that impeded our progress. It had multiple blades and it was just as powerful as the Fortune and the Strength."

"You think it was the twelfth Shadow?" I asked, my heart dropping at the thought of it.

"It was an Emperor, not a Hanged Man," she said. "From what you're telling us, it may still be alive? It and all the other abominations in that block of Tartarus?"

"And that's another question," Kazushi cut in, " _Why is our school the tower_? When we left, I recognized all the buildings 'round us! Gekkoukan is the tower, how did that happen!?"

"My grandfather used Gekkoukan as the test site," Mitsuru growled venomously, causing Kazushi to flinch and withdraw.

"Why _did_ your grandfather even go through with the experiment in the first place?" asked Mamoru, not learning from his peers' mistakes.

Akihiko and Shinjiro looked at him sadly as Mitsuru slammed her fist down on the armrest and shouted, "Because he _wanted this to happen_!" He withdrew as well, as Akihiko laid a hand on Mitsuru's shoulder. Our senpai then exhaled sharply and recomposed herself, continuing, "Sorry. I've just been on edge lately, with everything..."

For another set of minutes that felt like hours we all fell silent again, unknowing of what to say next and just grasping at straws silently. At this rate, things were going to end up horribly for all of us and the team would be splintered even further than it had already been. I hadn't even gotten to spill the beans yet. But luckily, a middle-schooler in the room managed to somewhat salvage the situation. _Somewhat_.

"Senpai...," Ken suddenly asked me, an air of solemnity in his voice. "What was that blue room about? Who was that masked guy, that hunchback, th-the woman who came in to help us—what was _any_ of that?"

And so we came to the inevitable question which would end everything.

"That...was the Velvet Room," I said. "It's a place between dream and reality, mind and matter. It's for people like me. Wild Cards, they call them..."

"Wild Cards?" Akihiko asked.

I quickly replied, "People who control multiple Personas. The people in that room make new ones for me, they store 'em all in Compendiums, and they give me advice about Personas and Shadows if and when I make time for them or whenever they so choose. They're also the ones who call me whenever somebody's stuck in the tower."

"So they're how you found out about us...?" Mamoru asked.

"One of them was," I said sadly. "The masked man, you knew as Philemon. He seemed to be the one in charge of it all. Igor is the hunchback; he's responsible for giving me new Personas, and he's the guy I go to when I have questions. And...," I turned to everyone who knew of her for even the briefest of moments, everyone who had fought alongside her and me and seen her power. "There was another one who was with us, that night. Trying to help us save the hostages in Monad...her name was Elizabeth."

" _Was_...?" whispered Junpei.

"She's dead. Nyarlathotep's servant killed her."

"The woman with the blue outfit...?" Mamoru began. "I-I remember her! She, she fought that giant horse and—and she died...!?"

"No. She didn't die, then. She died trying to protect me." My voice turned morose as I put my hands in my pockets, keeping my head to the ground, "Nyarlathothep's servant—Theodore was his name—he tried to use an attack on me I'd never seen before. She had a resistance to that kind of attack—it was strong enough to turn the whole world into ash. She shared that resistance with me. So you can imagine what happened to her, then."

At that, everybody fell silent again. But this silence was cut off when Saori solemnly told me, "I'm very sorry for your loss."

"Thank you," I said. "But...she wasn't the only one who died. Hidetoshi Odagiri."

"Oh man...the student council guy, I remember," Kenji murmured, a hand to his mouth. "W-we heard he got..."

Saori and Kazushi didn't say a word; though they must have seen him around, since they _were_ part of the same school, they most likely didn't get to know him that well. None of us did. Not even I. So they just kept silent, not knowing what they _could_ say at all.

"Philemon told you that, too?"

"Yamagishi tried to," Mitsuru said, eyes downcast as well. "She came in the Room with her eyes burning, but could only make out half-sentences." But then she faced me directly, "But she was helping you in the fight against this Theodore, wasn't she?"

"The Armageddon must've reached her, too," I grunted, scowling for just a little bit before deciding to face everyone. "This is all my fault."

"What do you mean by _that_?" Shinjiro suddenly asked.

I looked at everyone. Decided to take the whole scene in. Saw each and every one of their faces. Felt their confusion, let it take me. Couldn't afford to stop now. I'd already come this far. If we were going to move forward, I would have to be honest with everything. From all the secrets I'd kept, all the lies I'd told. All the places I should never have gone to.

"You're all my Social Links," I said.

At that, everybody just waited for me to continue. But Yukari was the only one to say something and physically try to get a _direct_ answer from me, right then and there, "What's a Social Link?"

"Social Links are my bonds," I told them all. "You all correspond to an Arcana, in my head. The whole group is the Fool. Yukari is the Lovers. Junpei is the Magus; Mitsuru, Empress; so on and so forth. The stronger my relationships with each one of you go, the stronger the Personas of the corresponding Arcana become."

Yukari's eyes widened. Junpei's jaw dropped. Mitsuru kept a scowl on her face. Akihiko, Ken, and Shinjiro looked at me ambivalently, while Koromaru's ears folded downward. The others didn't seem to know what to think.

"Wait, so I'm a Social Link?" Kazushi asked. "I-I'm responsible for helping your Personas get stronger?"

"Yes. You, and everyone else in this room," I said. "Even Elizabeth and Odagiri. Though...that brings to mind how their Links're supposed to work now, considering..."

"The moment we form a bond...?" Saori wondered aloud. "S-so, when I came to you that day, asking if you wanted to help out in the clinic, we formed a Social Link?"

"You're my Hermit Arcana," I said.

"And the day we went out for ramen?" asked Kenji.

"You're the Magician."

"A-and the Kendo tourney?" stammered Mamoru.

"Navigator Arcana."

"The day you joined the Kendo club!?" exclaimed Kaz. "Since then!?"

"You're the Chariot. And," I rubbed the back of my head, "you and I have forged an unbreakable bond."

"Wh-what...?"

"The day you gave me that tape...," I muttered, almost embarrassed. "On that day, you and I essentially formed a bond that won't ever be broken by anything."

Kazushi blinked. "Well, that's...actually pretty cool," he chuckled a bit, before realizing something. "Wait. Does that mean...?"

"So you were using us?" Mitsuru asked in his place, her voice thick with something caught between concern and rage.

"The only way a Social Link will work is if a bond is formed between both parties involved," I said. "Though...if I'm going to be honest..."

"What?" Junpei growled, getting up from his seat. "What do you mean by that? What did you do?"

At this, everybody looked at me in different ways. The only face that registered was Yukari's. Hers was ambivalent, as though she had known all along, yet couldn't find it in herself to prepare for what I was to say all the same.

"I did something horrible to a teammate. Under the influence of a Shadow that could create illusions, I had nearly killed a member of this group," I said, Yukari shrinking away from the conversation, from me. "I became alienated from the rest of the team, and I grew angry. Angry at myself, angry at them, angry at the whole world. Instead of trying to talk to them, it got to the point where I became willing to even lie; pretend that everything was fine when everything was not just to keep up the facade. But I realized I was wrong. And I have never gone back to that."

"For how long did you lie!?" screamed Junpei. "And to whom did you lie!?"

"I lied to Yukari and kept up the lie for three or four days, I don't remember! Then I stopped because I realized I was being stupid and wrong and presumptuous!" I shouted at him, to which he shook his head.

"You've been keeping this secret since the day you met us," he grunted out. "Weren't you? You've been using that Room since the beginning of the year and you've never told us about it once, not _once_!"

"I know!" I exclaimed. "I've been so reliant on myself throughout this entire year that I thought it was unnecessary to mention the Room. And I knew how big a can of worms Social Links were, but I decided not to say a thing because I was afraid of how you would react! I didn't trust you to understand the circumstances I'd been part of behind the scenes, and I was wrong! Throughout this whole year I've been wrong! And two nights ago, it registered how utterly wrong I was! Because everything I've ever done was because I was afraid! Afraid of dying, afraid of losing people, afraid of failing the mission! And in my fear and hate, I forgot _everything and everyone_ else!"

Again, everybody just stopped talking. Again, everybody couldn't say a word. Kenji, Kazushi, Saori, and Mamoru all looked confused, as though we were speaking another language. But those of us who had been through this suffering since the beginning knew what I was talking about, knew what I was saying, and understood. So it was up to me to say something _else_ that had been on my mind.

"The twelfth Shadow won't be the end of it," I suddenly stated. "I can feel it. I doubt something like Tartarus wouldn't have one last trick up its sleeve to ruin everything we've ever worked for."

And at that, another momentary silence came about, but Mitsuru managed to come out with, "I don't think you're wrong. The Philemon you've spoken of said something about Monad heralding something greater than even Nyarlathotep. Whether or not he was speaking about the next Shadow, I don't know. What matters is something _big_ is coming." She then stood up from her seat. "You're not the only one who indulged in their conviction due to fear."

Junpei muttered, "Senpai, what...?"

"What could possibly be the point in starting arguments _now_? When we're on the verge of battling something more powerful than anything else we have ever faced?" she growled, turning back to me. "Whatever will come, we can't allow personal grievances to get in the way of working towards our common goal. After Monad...we have to push on. The Shadows will grow ever stronger."

I nodded, but she then turned to the newcomers. First to Kenji, then to Mamoru, then to Saori, then Kazushi. The innocent ones who had gotten a mere taste of battle; they were afraid and confused and they didn't know what would happen next but now was no time for fear or confusion or ignorance. "Whatever happens next, happens of your own accord. You may choose to join us, or walk out that front door. But know that if you do choose to take up arms against the monsters that thrive while the world sleeps, then you will be put through everything you don't want to be put through. You may never sleep again."

Kenji turned his eyes groundwards and looked as though he'd gotten to question for the first time in his life just what he had been _doing_ all this time. Kazushi looked at his coarse hands and wondered if they were strong enough to hold a blade that could kill Shadows. Saori just put a hand to her mouth inquisitively and stared at the wall, while Mamoru leaned forward and held his head in his hands.

It took a full two minutes before one of them could say anything.

"I'm in," said Mamoru, getting up and shaking Mitsuru's hand so suddenly she was mildly taken aback.

"Are you sure?" she asked. "You may die. You may leave everyone you've ever known and loved behind in the pursuit of this one goal."

"I know," he said. "My family's in this city. If the Shadows get to them in any way, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Count me in."

"Me, too," said Saori, getting up from her seat. "With everything those monsters are capable of, I can't stand idly by and let them do as they please. Not with the power I've been given."

Kazushi sighed, "I'd love to help you guys, but...my knee's all messed up. I don't know if I'd be able to help out much anyway..."

Akihiko said, "It aches, right?" Kaz nodded. "Unfortunately, healing spells don't work on those kinds of things. I had a real bad back that only could really be fixed by medical attention. I'll book you with Hayashida-sensei. He'll help you get proper treatment for your leg."

"Y-you mean it...!?" Kazushi exclaimed, to get a nod in return. "A-awesome! I'm in your debt forever, senpai!"

Wondered how Kazushi would manage, even with his kind of leg. Hoped it wouldn't get to his head and he'd forget everything we'd learned these past few months. But with those three out of the way, there was only one person left who hadn't answered.

"Kenji," Junpei said. "What do you think?"

"I...," he mumbled, shifting his hand through his hair, "I-I don't know...with all this, it just...it all seems just so _big_. I don't know what I should do, could...," he turned to me. "Could you give me some more time? Like, b-by next week?"

"Sure," I said. "But remember: we've got a few weeks before the next full moon. Choose carefully."

So Kenji nodded and he stared at the coffee table, seeing his reflection in the sheen of the glossy mahogany surface. Mitsuru, however, laid a familiar silver briefcase on the table, the sound of briefcase-meeting-wood enough to bring Kenji out of his fugue.

"Mamoru Hayase, Saori Hasegawa, Kazushi Miyamoto," she said, opening the briefcase. Unveiling four silver guns and four red armbands. "Welcome to the Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad. We will begin your training tomorrow."

And at that, for the final time, nobody was able to find anything left to say.

* * *

 **author's notes**

* * *

This was the only way this kind of conversation could go. With everything that had happened before this chapter, the only way I can see the team moving forward in any significant way was if Makoto decided to undo his secrets. Undo his lies. He and the team will be honest with each other, with everything, because they have to in order to make it past all the Shadows' machinations.

The only way Makoto can make any decent stride forward is to come clean with everything, so that S.E.E.S. can finally be the team they were always supposed to have been. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Because updates'll be infrequent. Still gotta fix up Part I in places.

Thanks for reading!


	9. I Will Not Let You Die

Fourth floor of the dorm. Evening.

They'd gathered themselves around me just a few moments ago. Junpei Iori, Mitsuru Kirijo, Akihiko Sanada, Shinjiro Aragaki. Yukari Takeba.

Hours ago, we'd just strengthened our ranks with a few more members. Now, I was about to do something which had a fifty percent chance of undoing all of that and sending us back to square one. And I knew it was stupid, I knew I was wishing for too much, and I knew that after _everything_ I'd been through you'd think I'd just expect the worst instead of hope for the best. I was flying to the sun on wax wings and I was aware my wings were melting. But I was gonna go for it anyway. Stop the presses, Makoto Yuki was gonna make a stupid decision which was probably going to end horribly for everybody involved.

In attempting to abuse my abilities, I wronged them. In staying silent, I allowed my sin to be forgotten. But after everything that'd happened, I was forced to finally remember what I had done. And I could no longer ignore the urge to confess my sins. For if this team were to have any chance at moving forward in any fashion at all, I had to do this. The twelfth Shadow was not going to be the end of the Hour. This I knew, from the bottom of my heart. If we were going to stand against whatever abomination would come upon this world, we needed to be free of the shackles of fear, hate, and anger.

They needed the truth. And seeing as how a blue door had appeared out of nothing, standing before us all and only being visible to me, I knew that Igor thought the exact same thing as I.

Mitsuru sat across from me, again in an armchair. Yukari, Junpei, and Akihiko all sat together on the couch in the room while Shinjiro sat to my left, he and I having taken our seats upon two cushiony stools. I'd called them up here; they were the only ones whose memories Philemon had shown to me. They were the only ones who deserved to know.

I was jittery and I was nervous and I felt several blood vessels in my heart spurt out uncontrollably as my chest throbbed and ached in my fear. It was time. After all these months, I was finally going to act like an adult for once and actually start taking responsibility for my actions.

* * *

 **I WILL NOT LET YOU DIE.**

* * *

It was Yukari who began the conversation. "What do you need to tell us?"

I took in a deep breath, repeating to myself _There's no going back_ over and over and over again in my head. When I exhaled, I had to force myself to keep going. Everyone didn't dare talk; they just had to hear what I was about to say.

I then said, "I want to make this clear. Between every single one of you. I care about you. Each and every single one of you, and I know that the many things I've done to you indicates otherwise. But I do. You may think I'm a liar, you may think I'm a pretender, you may think I'm saying these things to ensure our bonds remain strong but I really do want to move forward. Together. That may sound stupid and cheesy and flawed, but we are closer than ever before to something like the end of this miserable road and so I need you all to listen. The only way we can move past all this as a team is by unloading everything we've been hiding from each other. Starting with me."

Yukari, however, just wanted me to get on with it: "What. Did. You. Do."

So it was time to stop stalling. "What happened at Yakushima angered me. But I kept up niceties because it was convenient for Social Links. Eventually I grew so sick of it I went to the Velvet Room and made a terrible kind of request, purely out of spite."

Yukari looked at me in something like horror as she recalled something I had said about memories, while the rest of them, in their anticipation, just maintained cold expressions.

"I asked if I could see your memories," I said. Now, everyone else shared Yukari's face.

"What...?" Junpei uttered, almost getting himself up off his seat.

"I tried using our breaking bonds as an excuse. Social Links determined the strengths of my Personas, and if our bonds were to remain the way they had been at the time, my powers would be put at risk. Said I wanted to see into your pasts so I could find a way to curry favor with you. But those in the Velvet Room saw through my ruse. And as such, they gave me what I asked for—"

Junpei just couldn't hold it in anymore and by the time I saw he was coming he'd already gotten his hand around the scruff of my neck. "You...you saw...!?"

"I _saw_ ," I said. "And I regretted it immediately."

He then let go of me, pushing me away from him. He turned to everyone else, then turned back to me, and that look in his eyes reminded me of the look I'd give to Shadows when facing them down. "So what now, huh?" he asked, mock-laughing in his anger. "You do this and you expect us to let you off the hook with a 'sorry,' again? Huh?"

Of course they were upset.

I had done this months ago. Much had happened between then and now. We'd saved each other's lives and endured a thousand hells just to get here. But I had forced my way into something that was supposed to have been theirs and theirs alone. This wasn't like Philemon, who had forced them to see the truths of my own past. I had _requested_ this. I had asked for it. And it was something that could not be kept silent. Not when silence was all that we'd engaged in for the past few weeks. We were so close to the end of everything.

Akihiko's eyes widened as his hands balled into fists. Mitsuru's expression turned cold enough to freeze the whole world over. Shinjiro said nothing, didn't give me a look, didn't even move his body or flinch in any way. Junpei was just _waiting_ for someone to give him the go-ahead to beat me down, while Yukari maintained that fearful glint in her eyes.

Their anger was completely justified. I hadn't the right to even beg for forgiveness at this point. Yet if we were going to have a chance at defeating the Shadows, if we were going to have a chance at making some actual _progress_ instead of staying trapped in this cycle of genuine rage and pragmatic forgiveness _again_ , this was what I needed to do.

"I know I can't make up for this by just saying _sorry_ ," I said. "I've apologized a lot this year and I failed to learn from each one. There is only one thing I can do at this point."

I reached into my pocket and pulled something out of it that flashed a bright blue before materializing into a physical object. I then set it on the table, before them. It was a Key. A Key I had hoped Igor would have made visible at this time. I was thankful he knew me so well.

They all looked upon it in warranted suspicion. Mitsuru faced me then, icily asking, "What good will this do us?"

Then everyone save Shinjiro faced me as I told them, "This...is the Velvet Key. When I first came to Iwatodai, my very first night here, I encountered Igor and Elizabeth in a dream. They gave me this Key. Once we went on our very first Tartarus expedition, I spotted a blue door standing upright over to the side of the stairs. The Key is my way into the Velvet Room. And now, it will be passed amongst all of you, one-by-one, per week."

Yukari's mouth opened ever-so-slightly as her eyes widened. Junpei maintained his glare, but his lips quivered and his shoulders deflated somewhat. Shinjiro actually now found it in himself to give a glare while Mitsuru and Akihiko's faces turned placid. Nobody said anything, and I decided to continue before anyone could interrupt.

"I will only be able to fuse Personas on your say-so. You will gain full access and knowledge of the powers, strengths, and weaknesses of each Persona within my psyche and will even have a hand in the creation of new Personas. My Personas will be able to share their affinities with the Persona of the current owner of the Key; whoever keeps the Key at the moment will be able to use my Personas to strengthen their own."

At this, they still said nothing. But they each took turns gazing upon the blue Key, then back to me. Mitsuru was the one who first grabbed it —but she didn't see the door just yet. Instead she took to examining it in all its eldritch, unknown potential. Soon most of everyone took to examining the Key, Yukari keeping her attention on me.

I drew everyone back to the conversation at hand as I admitted, "This whole time, I've been trusting myself and myself alone. I attempted to exploit this power to serve my own petty ends. I'm handing full control over it to you all, now. My strengths, weaknesses, affinities and resistances are out of my hands. You all literally hold the key to my potential. I won't justify myself or my actions. But I ask, once more, that you forgive me. At least to the level where we can work together as a team."

My voice then turned deeply grave, "The Shadows won't die off on the next full moon. I'm sure of it."

"...like I said earlier, I do not think you are necessarily wrong," Mitsuru suddenly spoke up. "When we encountered her in the Velvet Room, Philemon had spoken of the Monad Block as a _shrine_ meant to herald something far greater than Nyarlathotep could ever be. Initially, I thought it was a shrine for the inevitable Hanged Man Shadow...but I must wonder...what is Nyarlathotep's Arcana?"

"I didn't recognize an Arcana at all," I said to her. "All I could feel was something...chaotic."

She nodded, "If this Nyarlathotep creature is powerful enough to create an entire ten-floor block in Tartarus _and_ fill it with Shadows...then it casts some doubt that even a large Hanged Man Shadow would be even stronger than it. Perhaps there is truth to what Yuki says. If Nyarlathotep's influence is enough to keep two floors in the Monad Block despite everything Yuki and Philemon had done, we can only imagine what kind of abomination it must be heralding. I should speak to the chairman about this; perhaps he can dig up some files in my grandfather's research detailing something we may have missed along the line. We may be able to find something in them about Nyarlathotep or what this mystery creature is..."

"Your grandfather wanted to make a time manipulation device," I stated bluntly, earning from her another stoic glance. I stood up from my seat as I asked her directly, "I recall your father saying something about how your grandfather ended up having only _nihilism_ in his heart, by the end of his life. I know this'll sound curt...but do you think plans may have _changed_ somewhat at that point?"

Akihiko turned to Mitsuru in caution, Shinjiro eyeing the both of them. Mitsuru's eyes drifted downwards as she faced her left, "I've been thinking the same thing, actually."

"What...?" Junpei muttered in shock.

"So you think they _planned_ to create the Dark Hour?" Yukari asked, fists balling up as her voice raised in her shock.

"I'm not sure," Mitsuru grunted, "but it makes sense. Though my father and Ikutsuki have stated my grandfather's plan did not diverge from its intended goal...there is one last person we could speak to about this. The woman at Shinshoudo Antiques once worked for the Kirijo Group."

I blinked at her. "She does." Mitsuru nodded. I scoffed, "Well, that makes things a little easier..."

"Perhaps she has information my father does not. Apparently, from what I've seen in my grandfather's papers, she worked closely with him and...Takeba's father."

Immediately Yukari rose from her seat and demanded from Mitsuru, "Take me to her as soon as you're ready to head out."

Mitsuru blinked and nodded gravely. "This madness...," she sighed, putting her hands to her hips, "there may've been some method to it after all..."

"S-so what now?" Junpei asked. "Do we tell Ikutsuki about this...?"

"I don't think we should," I said.

"Why not?" Mitsuru asked.

"My Social Link with him is the Jester Arcana," I said to her, causing her eyes to widen ever more. "Inverse of the Fool Arcana."

She breathed in something like confusion mixed with fear as she repeated, "'Jester...?'" and expanded. "Your Social Links can have inverted Arcana...!?"

"What does an inverted Arcana mean...?" asked Junpei.

"If his Arcana's inverted," Mitsuru gritted her teeth, "it can only mean trouble. Shadows follow the inverted principles of the Arcana they wear; instead of following the values they supposedly embody, they distort them into something monstrous."

"So...you think Ikutsuki's hiding something from us?" Shinjiro grunted, finally saying something throughout this strange conversation.

"It may be best if we keep things secret from him after all...," said Mitsuru.

"This is...," Junpei groaned, arching his back forward as he rested his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands together. "Look at us..."

"What?" Mitsuru asked him.

"This all used to be so simple," he said. "We fought the Shadows when they would come. We followed Ikutsuki's lead. We'd make mistakes along the way and learn from them. We're stumbling into uncharted territory here. If Ikutsuki is keeping secrets from us, then what does this mean for the city? What does this mean for the Shadows? Was he lying about _them_ , too? What if killing them _won_ 't end the Dark Hour...?"

"What if killing them heralds something bigger than Nyarlathotep?" Shinjiro asked, to himself. To which everyone turned to him. "Just a theory," he said, actually somewhat shyly.

Mitsuru looked upon him with an expressionless face. But she swiftly turned to me and Yukari, "You both will come with me tomorrow to meet up with Narukami's mother and demand from her the truth of what my grandfather had done." We both nodded at her, but Mitsuru continued, directing her next few sentences at me alone. "What you did to my memories? I am not quite sure I can forgive that entirely, not right now. But there is something that is coming for us all. We cannot afford to be torn by bitterness."

Akihiko then took his own chance to speak up, "Mitsuru's right. There's too much at stake here," he said as he stood up from his seat. "In a match, you do everything within the rules to defeat the enemy. But this thing...it's probably gonna be beyond that kind of stuff, even more than the Shadows we've already faced," He then turned to me, "If these suspicions turn out to be correct...I'll be willing to look past what you did. We need answers, now more than ever."

Yukari just stood and went over to me. She and I did nothing but share a look that seemed impassive on a surface level but I could feel the space between us thickening more and more as the seconds went by.

Junpei just sat in his seat, mouth agape at the thought of everything that had transpired, while Shinjiro leaned back and sighed.

"So...," the latter muttered, "we're gonna be going against Ikutsuki now."

Everyone's eyes were on me now.

There were a great many secrets about the Dark Hour still just waiting to be discovered. We were all just petty mortals, born to die and be forgotten. In the end, no matter how much had changed since then and now, we were still characters in a story battling the one writing it.

"No more secrets," I said. "The moment one of you agrees to the task of manning the Room, we keep nothing from each other—"

And then I heard a _**HSAMS** **!**_

" _GAH_ —!"

"Yuki!"

"Wh-what happened...!?"

 _ **"Thou hast initiated a change within a sacred bond...!"**_

"...what...?"

"What, what is it? Makoto, what —!?" Yukari cried.

 _ **"If thou wishest to gain anything further from the Fool Arcana,  
Thou must start anew, a clean slate must be forged..."**_

"I...it's Social Links...," I said.

"What about Social Links?" asked Mitsuru.

"Something's happening— _AAGH_ —!"

"Yuki—"

 _ **"Thou shalt be blessed if thou chooseth to imbue thyself with the Arcana Beyond the World...  
Thou shalt be blessed if thou chooseth to imbue thyself with the Arcana of the Twenty-Second Fool..."**_

...

I turned to all of them, "We've forged a new Social Link. I think."

"A new one...?" Yukari asked.

"It said...something changed in the bond we already had. If I wanted to move any further, we had to start again from a _clean slate_...and now our bond is something called the _Twenty-Second Fool_..."

"XXII...," muttered Mitsuru. "If our bond with you was of the Fool Arcana, this technically still counts as it. The Fool is the first and the last of all the Arcana. Beyond the World, there is another version of the Fool Arcana which is numbered twenty-two, indicating the beginning of a new journey at the end of an old one."

"So this...whatever we've got going on here...it's been revamped?" Akihiko said, not knowing for sure if _friendship_ would be the proper term for what we'd created.

I nodded, "I suppose so."

Then immediately after that, Junpei threw his arms up in the air and stormed out. Suddenly. Unexpectedly. Before I could even take notice of him getting up off his seat. No one stopped him. The night was heavy enough as it was.

So Mitsuru gazed upon the blue Key in her hands before turning to me and stating, "I'll take the first shift."

"Good. Now, do you see the door —?"

"—wh-what the...!?"

"—you see the door."

Sure enough, Mitsuru stepped back in a mix of awe and fright as she saw in full-force the giant blue door in front of the monitor. Akihiko asked her, "What, it's here...!?"

"I don't see it...," said Yukari.

"That's because you haven't gained ownership of the Key yet," I said to her. "I don't see it, either. Not anymore. I've passed it on to you, senpai."

"S-so...I'm...," she muttered, half to herself, "I'm really in control of that Room, now..."

"For the week," I said. "You want to enter now? I'm sure Igor's excited to meet the new owner of the Key."

"Igor?"

"The hunchback."

"R-right...," she muttered. But then her shoulders lowered and she let out a sigh. "Quite frankly...I think it'd be best for me to try this tomorrow. Everything these past few days has just been exhausting..."

"Very well," I said. "After we head to the mall?"

"Yes...," Mitsuru replied, holding her head. "This is the sort of thing people take medicine for."

But then at that moment, 'twas Shinjiro's turn to stand up. Looming over all of us despite his arched posture, he walked to me and gave a deep glare. "I don't like you. Not one bit, not after that day in the hospital. You've done a real bad thing to all of us here, and I'm not gonna let you forget it anytime soon. But...if I was gonna let my feelings stand in the way of saving the world, might as well just throw me out the window right now."

He then walked past me as he headed to the door, saying one last statement before he slammed it shut on us, "You'd better make all of this worth it."

And all of us for the thousandth time today, found nothing more that needed to be said.

* * *

I was alone, in the lobby of the dorm. It was 10 PM, and all I was doing was waiting for the Dark Hour. Waiting for Yukari to come down the stairs so we could have the talk.

But I also sought isolation to just...think.

After everything that had happened, I had thought they'd have hated me once I came clean with what I'd done to them months before. Instead, a new bond had forged between us. And while I was pleased with how events had turned out, a part of me thought it was unfair. Kind of.

I'd spent a long time lying to them. I'd forced my way into their memories, and in the end even this was taken down by the wayside due to bigger things taking precedence. Though, I suppose it made sense. If things really were as screwed up as we had come to think they were...then nothing was of more import than finding out the truth and making sure that whatever it was, it would not destroy us or the rest of the city or the rest of the planet.

Still, it was as though I didn't deserve it, really. I didn't deserve this sort of mercy. But then I figured…when has anyone _deserved_ anything?

The world doesn't owe humanity any sort of thing. It's not contractually obligated to kindness. Someone may win the lottery one day, but the next he may find his mother's corpse in his bed with a knife jutting out from her spinal column. No matter how harmless someone believes himself to be, the world will not hold back against him. No matter who you are, the world won't refrain from pushing your head down the grime and the muck when it feels like it.

People are dime-a-dozen. No man can fight against that fact. To fight against it would be to fight against the world itself, and that's impossible. The world is too big for the likes of human beings. Why should it care about what a pile of meat and bone has to say? Why should it change? Who in their right mind would be so narcissistic to think that they out of the billions of others in the world would be able to change it?

Shouldn't the weight of impending death be enough to make people _not_ want to waste time with petty squabbles? Is it worth it to argue with others and insult them rather than to form relationships with them? Meaningful ones that can stand the test of time? Ones too strong to be affected by wasteful and ephemeral things?

"Wanna talk now?"

I turned. Yukari. Coming down the stairs. Expression somber. Eyes tired. Like mine. She was withered. Yet still, I found her beautiful. Even up to now.

"You sure?" I asked her.

She nodded, "Might as well. I'm tired. If we wait till the Dark Hour, I'll just end up...," she yawned, "sleeping the whole night away."

"I see," I said to her.

We just sat in silence for a time, until Yukari came out with, "Do you remember how we first met? All those years ago?"

I nodded sheepishly, rubbing the back of my head, "You were taking care of my sister. She was sick. Your father and mine worked together to try and take care of her."

She tilted her head, "Kinda remember something like that. What I remember more was the mountainside."

"Mountainside?" I asked her.

"You and I were in Kyoto. We were running along the side of a mountain, on some stepping stones. Our parents weren't watching us. They really didn't want us to go as far as we did, but we did it anyway because it was fun. We ran up higher and higher and neither of us really cared all that much. Then I scraped my knee on the pavement 'cause I tripped on a rock. I wanted us to keep on going up, but you knew I couldn't. You carried me on your back and I told you I was fine, I told you about how you promised we'd see the top of the mountain." Throughout that whole spiel, she didn't even look at me as she took her seat on the couch, on the cushion next to mine.

"You said you wanted us to be standing on our own feet to see the world," she said in conclusion.

I just nodded soberly, "You argued with me the whole way down the mountain."

She nodded back, "Even when we finally got home, I stayed mad at you for days." But then she finally turned to me. "What you did to me and everyone else back in the command room happened months ago. There's hardly any point in dredging up resentment now, of all times. Not after what happened with back in Monad, nor what happened with you and your sister, nor the fact that we've got two people dead because of the Shadows. Besides...I've already beaten you senseless. Heaping more conflict onto the situation would just make things so much worse than they really have to be."

And at that, I just had to ask. I didn't care how sudden it was. I just had to ask what was on my mind. "Why did you say you loved me?"

She blinked and lowered her head. Her expression remained the same, as she bit her lower lip and made an exhale. But she then raised her head to me, her face stone-cold. "I didn't want you to die."

I exhaled and I leaned back in my seat, half-melancholic and half-content. "So it was just out of fear...?"

But then she quickly said, "You're going to die when March begins."

At that, I shot back up from my seat immediately, "What?"

"You're going to give your life to save me and everyone else from the Shadows on our final battle. Your body's gonna slowly die over the course of the next few months before your brain shuts down on March 5," she just said, still maintaining her stone-cold gaze upon me.

"Wh-where is this coming from?" I asked her, more than a little fearful at the thought of _how_ she could've predicted such a thing.

"Philemon. The masked one," she grunted out. "Told me that your death will be," she cleared her throat and continued, "a necessary step to ending the Dark Hour and defeating the Shadows. Said stuff about how you will gain some kind of immense power along the way." Then her head lowered. "Said you'd die with only one person by your side, that everyone else is gonna try to make it to you, and you'll be dead before they get there."

At that, my eyes widened and I turned away from her, looking at the coffee table in the middle of all the chairs in the room as though it had undone everything I'd ever believed in. And yet I didn't feel scared. I didn't feel angry. I just got to thinking. I thought of my life up 'til this point. Everything I'd ever done. Everyone I'd ever met. All the lives I'd helped, the lives I'd ended, the monsters I'd destroyed, the friendships I'd ruined time and time again. I thought of my family and I thought of how they had died and it seemed like the universe was just bringing me back to them and setting everything right. My being here was all unintentional, after all. I should've died, my sister should've lived.

Perhaps my death was supposed to fix that mistake. Joining S.E.E.S., meeting Junpei, and Yukari, and Mitsuru, and Akihiko—meeting and knowing my friends in the school and throughout the city—throwing Yuka into a lightning storm, cradling Elizabeth's ashes, calling out for Hidetoshi to wake up, and apologizing and apologizing and _apologizing_ —getting to know all the people I'd met throughout this horrific journey of mine and theirs and Iwatodai's, none of it should have happened. None of it was ever supposed to've happened at all.

What was going to happen to me? What would happen to Yukari or Junpei or everyone else? What kind of monster would we face, in the end? What had I even come here for? My city, my friends, my family, myself...what had I been fighting for? What had all this struggle and agony and strife—what had it all been for? I was just going to die in the end anyway and I would never see my friends or this city or anything in this uncontrollable tumultuous chaotic world ever again—

"I won't let you die."

I turned to Yukari, regaining most of myself in time to make a half-conscious, "Wh-what...?"

She faced me directly, her eyes sharp and determined and all those things I thought I had been but really had never been.

"You've done a lot of horrible things. But in the end, you've also put yourself through hell and high water to save my life, along with everyone else's. If I were to just let you die, I'd never be able to live with myself. You said earlier you wanted to change, and you knew you couldn't do it alone. So I'll be here for you, and I won't let anything stand in our way."

And all at once I saw something in her, the thought of it vanishing either due to me or the Shadows or the fleeting nature of time enough to shake me to my core. I asked her then, "Can we start over?"

To which she repeated, stammering, "S-start over?"

"You said you loved me, back in Monad. Whether or not it was out of fear...if I were to reciprocate that here and now, I think that would be disingenuous of me. I want to get to know you the way you are now. Throughout all this time, I've just been thinking about how you were back _then_. And what my feelings for you were. But really," my eyes turned downcast as my voice drifted and I murmured, "in the end I never actually tried to see you as anything more than the person you were in my memories."

Yukari was silent for a little bit, before finding it in herself to reply, "I was afraid of you, you know?" smirking sadly and furrowing her brows in her discomfort, "We all were. We were afraid of what you'd do if you went off the deep end. We were all just really bad liars." Then she faced me once more, with that look in her eyes that would shake me like nothing else ever could, and she gave a sad chuckle as her mouth curled into an exhausted smile. "I think I'd like to start over, too."

I nodded, "Glad you agree."

And we sat there together, like we'd done a lot throughout the year. Yet after a little moment of that familiar silence, she and I found it in ourselves to turn to each other. We stared at each other in half-curiosity and half-wonder, because we both seemed to have gotten a thousand years older in these paltry six months.

 _ ***HSAMS!***_

And of course. A new bond was forged.

 _ **"Thou hast initiated a change within a sacred bond...!  
**_ _ **If thou wishest to gain anything further from the Lovers Arcana,  
**_ _ **Thou must start anew, a clean slate must be forged..."**_

"What is it?" she asked, noticing the pain in my eyes.

"Our bond...it's changing, too."

She blinked, "Another clean slate, huh...?"

 _ **"Thou shalt be blessed if thou chooseth to imbue thyself with the Arcana of United Division...  
**_ _ **Thou shalt be blessed if thou chooseth to imbue thyself with the Arcana of the Two Paths..."**_

"Two Paths...," I repeated. "Our Social Link is the Two Paths."

She blinked, leaning back into her seat and sighing in resignation once more. "Gonna be a long few months ahead of us..."

* * *

After the Social Link restarted in my head, she made coffee for the both of us and we drank on the couch. Indulging in meaningless small talk while not really looking at each other. We just spoke whatever was on our minds, not really saying much of anything but the idea that we could engage in something that passed as _normal_ again enough to compel us to try and keep the conversation going for a little while longer.

When we could no longer figure out what else to say, we both agreed silently that it was time to head off to our beds. So we walked up the stairs after washing our cups and said not another word. But we were walking close to each other, closer to each other than we'd ever been in a while. Neither of us could bear the idea of what would occur if we would catch a glimpse of the other's gaze; we both maintained the same expression and neither of us knew that by the time we'd reached the second floor, we were bumping shoulders.

We swiftly moved away from each other at that point. Her face was red and so was mine. But still, we said nothing. I rubbed the back of my head as she averted her gaze from me, her fingers entwining as her hands settled behind her back. We both then nodded to each other, knowing that it was time to go our respective rooms and try to get some sleep for tomorrow.

Once I entered my room, my back leaned against the door and I slid downward. I sat with my back against the frame as I breathed, asking God for a sign of what was possibly going to happen between us in this uncertain future I'd created. Asking if there was any way to avoid my fate, if I could defeat the Shadows without dying or leaving her and everyone else behind.

* * *

And then I saw her.

I saw her, leaning against her own door. The Lovers sat there, staring at her bed and breathing in much the same way I was breathing. She then brought her knees to her chest and gave a long exhale, wrapping her arms over her shins and pressing her face into her knees.

"What now, Dad...?" she said, despite there being no one else there. "Am I stupid to actually _try_ to believe in things like trust and friendship...? This old letter of yours...I must've read it a thousand times since it came last spring..."

And the letter read as such:

 _March 6th, 2000._

 _To my family,_

 _Tomorrow, I'll bring this letter to the opening ceremony for the Moonlight Bridge. It'll be stored in a time capsule, and sent to you ten years from now. Yukari...you're so small right now, but in ten years, you'll be sixteen. You'll be in high school._

 _I know you've been sad because I have to work so late, but you still always greet me with a smile. I'm really proud of myself. Kirijo-san appointed me Head Researcher. I'll be starting on a big project soon, and I'm happy to be receiving so much recognition for my work...but, I swear to you that nothing is more important to me than you and your mother._

 _Yukari...are you remembering to enjoy life? Are you still bright-eyed and hopeful, like you are now? No matter what happens in the next ten years, I hope you are happy._

 _Well, I hope this letter brings a smile to your face._

 _Love, Dad_

She folded the paper. Rubbed at her eyes. Her nose had gone all runny as she'd read the letter, and she hated that she was still getting all teary-eyed even though it'd been months since this letter had come into her possession. But she figured she didn't care anymore. The Lovers had been through a lot these past few days. Let her cry everything out if she needed to. Everything just...seemed so much bigger now.

"I can't lose hope... for his sake," she said, wholly to herself. Like she wanted to make something clear, something she felt she'd forgotten. "I won't turn my back. I won't be like Mom. Not ever..."

Then she stood up from the floor, making her way to her bed.

* * *

Then I stopped seeing her. Then I held my head.

And I couldn't believe I'd forgotten that Orpheus Telos was also a detector.

* * *

 **author's notes:**

POSITIVE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AHOOOYYYYYYY

Yeah, I felt the story was also getting a wee bit grimdark for my tastes, so I thought the best way to separate Part II from Part I was to make sure Makoto was gonna actually have some tangible character development instead of going from Angry to **Angry** and then _**Even More Angry**_. The story would suffer if he was the same guy the whole way through.

Every story has its highs and its lows. Gonna actually try to make Part II mostly a high point. Keyword being try.

This is, after all, where the second half of the story takes place, and we all know what happens there.

Also, Part I now has a co-editor/co-writer in Emiya2004! Requested him to help me out in editing since college was driving me up the walls in work. So far he's been doing things at thrice the rate I've been doing! Make sure you follow and favorite him! Stop by and review his works; he's helped me out a great deal over the years just from the goodness of his heart, it'd be wrong of me not to give him a shoutout in some way.


	10. From Out of the Darkness

And again...I saw.

The sun was setting by the time she arrived at the hospital. Visiting hours would be over soon and she wanted to see her daughter before the hospital closed for the night. The doors silently slid open, revealing a white hall that she had walked through several times since that day. The black-haired, blue-eyed receptionist she was used to seeing saw her enter and she gave a sympathetic nod.

Mrs. Narukami walked up to the receptionist's desk.

"Here to see her again?" she asked. Mrs Narukami nodded.

"Yes..." She wrote her name down on the visitor's sheet with familiar movements. She mused sadly that something like this shouldn't be routine. And yet, in the short time since the incident, it became routine for her.

"Not many people have been to see her," the receptionist told her, looking the sheet over before putting it away. "Not since her class came along... I guess she didn't have many friends?"

"No," Mrs Narukami said after a lengthy pause. "She's like a lone fox. I can't say that I was surprised that she didn't have anyone here she could call a friend."

"You weren't here to see it, but there were many bouquets of flowers in her room," the receptionist told her. "Everyone from her class came to give her them, hoping that she'll wake up soon. I think, at the very least, she's still in their hearts. Even if they don't come to see her very often."

"...life goes on," Mrs Narukami said. "I'm certain that Yuka wouldn't want them to worry over her so much. She always thought she had to handle all her burdens alone."

Mrs Narukami started to make her way to her daughter's room but the receptionist's voice stopped her.

"Oh, I should tell you that someone else is here to see her. She said that she's Miss Narukami's Sensei. She heard about what happened and rushed over as fast as she could. She looked distraught... I can't imagine what she's thinking right now."

 _...sensei...?_

With a look of recognition, Mrs Narukami quickly walked to the room her daughter was in. She took a breath to compose herself before she entered. She noticed three things as soon as she entered. A large tan jacket hung up on a coat hanger. Her daughter lying on the bed. And, sitting on a chair beside the bed, a woman. Long light-brown hair and eyes, wearing a light pink t-shirt with a floral pattern and blue jeans.

The woman looked up at Mrs Narukami before setting her eyes back at the still form of Yuka. Mrs Narukami walked over and sat on the chair beside the woman.

They sat in silence for a while, both of them staring at the one who had been such an important part of their lives.

"...this is the first time we've met, I believe," the woman said, breaking the unnatural silence that had fallen between them.

"It is." Mrs Narukami nodded. "I do know who you are though. My daughter talked about you all the time."

"She has? I hope it wasn't anything too bad."

"No, no, she had nothing but kind words to say when she spoke about you."

"I'm glad... I should probably at least give my name. Mariko Kusumi. I'm known in the world of magic as the Magician of Death."

"...Kumiko Narukami. I'm—"

"Yuka's mother. Yes. I'm well aware of who you are. Most of us in the realm of magic do. What you did in Roppongi was quite spectacular. Even the normal are somewhat aware of what happened. An entire area of Tokyo, smothered by fire."

"...it was a pointless war," Kumiko told her. "A senseless waste of human life."

Mariko was silent for a while. She couldn't help but feel something off about Kumiko. Like she was hiding something. Curious to see if she would actually get an answer, she decided to ask.

"...I've always been curious about one thing," Mariko started. "The details of the war in Tokyo can be found, though not very easily. I know pretty much everything that happened during that month. Except for one thing. There's never anything about what happened after you got to that shrine. So... What exactly happened in that final battle? What did you see?"

Silence filled the room. It was made extremely clear to Mariko that she wouldn't get an answer. It wasn't as though Kumiko had used a self-geas scroll to will herself into silence. Mariko would have been able to tell straight away if she had. So the only thing she could take from her silence was that whatever she saw scared her enough to never want to speak of it. She sighed.

"I suppose it doesn't matter at the moment... I never thought this would happen." Mariko looked at Yuka's still form. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was steady. She didn't look like she was in any pain at all. "Who did this to her?"

Kumiko had to pause to make sure she could tell her this in a way that didn't boil her blood. She would rather not mention him ever again, but Yuka's Sensei had the right to know. Who had harmed her student in such a cruel way.

"Someone who she trusted. She honestly believed that he was someone who wanted to protect this city. Who wanted to do the right thing... And then he did this to her. He threw Yuka through a lightning storm and forced her to use a power he knows will kill her."

Mariko's expression hardened before it softened into the look she had before. Whatever passed through her mind in that brief moment after hearing the fate that befell her pupil was something Kumiko didn't want to know. She could tell, however, that it was a dark path. A path she didn't want to think of again.

"You're a living legend, you know?" Kumiko said suddenly, to get off that subject. "Everyone who resides in the world of magic knows the name Mariko Kusumi. The Witch who killed the Aristotle, Beowolf."

"...it's been almost five years since that day," Mariko said off-handedly, almost dismissively. Kumiko noted that she treated it like it was an everyday thing, even though she made history that day. That battle was one that fellow Magicians and Witches would be talking about for decades.

"...you paid quite the heavy cost to put an end to it, didn't you?"

"No. I would have won that fight regardless. That price I paid, was for something else entirely."

Kumiko was silent for a while. She wondered about what she paid the price of giving up ten years of her life for. She gave up a lot of her time left on this world, and Kumiko could only guess as to what she was trying to accomplish in doing that. She doubted that she would get answers if she asked. After giving her the silent treatment regarding what happened in Tokyo, she didn't have the right to, she thought to herself.

"When she told me about that," Kumiko said, "there was a light in her eyes I hadn't seen in a long time. She had a crush on you." Mariko's eyes widened in surprise. Kumiko guessed that she never figured that out in the time she and her daughter spent together. "I think she still does. She sometimes mentions you, worries about how you're doing... and wonders if she would ever see you again."

"...I didn't think I had that big an impact on her."

"You did," Kumiko said with a smile. "You know that she could never make friends. In any town we moved to, she was always alone. The only time she was truly happy was when she was at the shrine. And then, one day, you came along and made her smile again. I didn't think I would ever get the chance to thank you... So I'll take the chance to do it now. Thank you."

Mariko stared at her for a moment in bewilderment before smiling, though hers was a little more mischievous than the person sitting beside her.

"Ah, it was nothing. But now I'm a little troubled. Now that I know that she likes me, I can't just ignore it." Whatever intention was behind her smile, it faded for just a moment. Kumiko noted that it was more warm and genuine than before. "I'm flattered... Truly, I am..." That mischievous smile returned as Mariko continued talking. "She's just a little too young though. Maybe in a few years I'll consider it." She winked at her playfully.

There's the playful woman that Yuka told me about, Kumiko thought to herself. She could tell that she was joking. Possibly. Despite knowing that she was – possibly – kidding, Mariko couldn't help but think that it wouldn't exactly be a bad thing for Yuka. There was a little bit of age gap, but Kumiko didn't exactly have a problem with that.

She shook her head as she noticed the kind of thoughts she was having.

 _Pulling all those all nighters making those weapons was probably not the best idea._

She thought that she should probably speak up soon. The silence that she left in the air could be misconstrued and Kumiko didn't want that.

"...Heh. And what makes you think I'd let a wandering Witch like you have her, you lolicon," Kumiko said with noticeable amusement. Mariko's brow twitched as her smile became forced, much to Kumiko's satisfaction. She knew that she would never be able to defeat her in a fair fight, so to be able to beat her in something as small as this was immensely gratifying.

"I already get enough grief from Sadako about this, I don't need to hear it from her mother."

Though the atmosphere was jovial for that moment, it didn't last. Inevitably, the air in the room thickened, sucking any joy that could have been found, and left only the knowledge that there was something important that needed to be discussed. Both women knew this, and that they couldn't put it off any more than they already had.

"So, what are you going to do?" Mariko asked. "It isn't safe in this town. What with those strange black creatures and... something feels off about one of the buildings here."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't say for certain, but...it's like...it's like it's trying to create its own world within its bowels. Sort of like that tower, but less... chaotic."

"You know about Tartarus?"

"Oh, is that its name? Doesn't matter. Yeah, I know about it. I did some looking around before coming here. It's pretty clear to me what's going on... I shouldn't be here. I re—I really shouldn't be here...and you two shouldn't have been here either."

"...I know." Kumiko looked at Mariko. "And soon, we won't be. As soon as she wakes up, we're getting out."

"...and leave this city to those creatures?"

"...yes."

"She won't agree to that."

"I don't care. She's my daughter, and I won't let her fight with that man a second longer...I looked into the face of chaos, Kusumi-san, and I'll be damned if I let her face that."

Mariko stared at Kumiko before looking back at Yuka, unaware of what was being discussed at that moment.

"...I guess I have a new reason to stick around for a while," Mariko said.

"What do you mean?" Kumiko asked curiously.

"I mean, I'll stick around so you two can get out safely before going... You and I both know who she is. She won't be safe once she awakens. She might be in more danger than ever before."

"...how long have you known?"

"Ever since I met her. When I realised what her fate entailed, I couldn't just stand there and ignore it. A lonely girl with a lonely destiny... Knowing the kind of person I am, how could I just abandon her? We're the same..."

"..she can't be moved from this room," Kumiko told her. It wasn't needed for her to say how long she had known. It was obvious to the two of them when she learned of the fate her daughter was carrying. "That equipment is keeping her alive."

"I think it'll be okay leaving her here for the time being," Mariko responded, that wistful expression she had before fading away. "This room might be the only safe haven for her right now. Someone's keeping a watchful eye over her."

"I don't exactly trust the Kirijo Group about this."

"What makes you think I'm talking about a human?"

Before Kumiko had a chance to process this, a few raps at the door made themselves heard. The door slid open. A nurse walked in and bowed slightly.

"Excuse me, but visiting hours will be over soon."

The two stand up. Mariko went to collect her coat from the coat hanger while Kumiko looked down at her daughter once more. She purposefully avoided using a certain word. She had already said it to members of her family one time too many.

When Mariko came back, she looked down at Yuka with a soft smile. She brushed some hair out of the way of her eyes and spoke softly.

"I'll see you soon, alright?"

In that short exchange, Kumiko knew just how much Mariko cared for her student. Mariko picked up her suitcase, and the two of them exited the hospital.

Kumiko invited Mariko for a cup of tea back at her home. Mariko refused, saying that this won't be the last time they see each other. She told Kumiko to prepare everything for the trip out. Everything she and her daughter had. Kumiko nodded, and the two went their separate ways.

By the time Kumiko finished her preparations and made the connection, it was too late to stop what was already in motion. Though, when she thought about it, it was difficult to tell when the wheels of fate were set into motion.

* * *

And at that point, I woke up. I was in my bed. It was morning, early morning. Early enough to be dark still.

I felt guilty. I felt horrible. But I knew what had to be done and I in no way wanted to turn back now. So I got my clothes on and gathered my school supplies. I saw everything I needed for school, my pencils and notebooks and pad papers and protractors and rulers and all other things and all at once I thought I heard laughing, I thought I heard crying, I thought I heard a great many things —

—then I dropped everything to the ground.

I slumped back into my bed. I gritted my teeth and I held my head in my hands. I remembered Yuka. I remembered Mom and Dad and the idea of how _proud_ they must have been of their son crawled into my mind and _tap_ ped away like an archaeologist carving out bone from rock.

Even now, I was being punished for a sin I'd already confessed to. The past wasn't quite done with me.

* * *

 **FROM OUT OF THE DARKNESS.**

* * *

 _HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?  
HIDETOSHI ODAGIRI  
AGE 18, STUDENT AT GEKKOUKAN HIGH SCHOOL  
_

It had an address, some contact numbers here and there, an email address. His picture wasn't very flattering, but it did its job.

I saw several posters like this stapled to the notification boards throughout the school. Even though I hadn't even gotten to Paulownia yet, I was sure Kurosawa had already gotten some of them taped to the walls of the police station.

Teachers had spoken earlier of Hidetoshi Odagiri and how he was still missing; how a number of students had gone missing over the school break caused by the typhoon and yet despite all of them returning home, _he_ of all people had not made it back to his mother's house.

So I sat there, on a bench at the roof of the school. Perfect place to be alone. There was no body to bury. No funeral to be had. All I could do was talk and lament and say a bunch of things to the sky, hoping that the thought of him looking down on me from Heaven was not _just_ a thought.

"They would not believe us even if we had told them the truth, obviously," I said, folding the wanted poster I'd brought with me to the roof. "Keeping the true circumstances of your death is all we can do. If word of the Hour gets around, it'll be laughed off. If not, there'll be panic. I wish we could do more, but right now we're up against a corner. I hope you understand."

Of course the air and the sky and the world did not respond because none of them could. Because in this cruel stupid universe where Personas and Shadows battle for the fate of this big blue rock floating in outer space for no reason whatsoever, there were no ghosts or spirits to give the living some peace of mind.

"Frankly...I don't quite know if you're dead. Time, it's...it's weird to me now. When I got Orpheus Telos, I began seeing past and present events in conjunction. It's like the past is _compressing_ into the present. I can see through other people's eyes now, I can see events that have already finished happening; sometimes I see _both_. I don't think I'm in total control over it...but I'll hopefully be able to master it as time goes on." I lowered my head then, "Maybe then nobody'll die."

After that, I stopped talking for a few moments.

Smirked to myself before whispering, "Of course not. Who'm I kidding?" Raised my head again and looked at the purple-orange clouds blazing through the evening sky. "I hadn't thought much about it, but after getting Telos I _saw_ a Shadow with a scarf and grey skin. I saw it fighting the others, and I could swear for a moment that it was—it, it just _felt_ like it was—I don't want it to be you but I-I, Hasegawa said something about a scarfed Shadow in Monad and now that I think about it, I can't—I can't..."

Gritted my teeth and exhaled. _Get through this, get through this. He deserves at least something._

"I'm gonna die by March. And I'm gonna lose a lot more people like you along the way, because I'm just that much of a failure," I chuckle. "Everyone else was saved because I had people on my side. Alone, I'm nothing. Now, you've become a Shadow. Probably. Maybe. Hopefully not. It's all so hazy. I never thought I would make it out alive that night, even. I didn't know what to do because after _everything_ I had all these memories bubbling up from some dark part of my life I don't wanna go back to in any way. What could I say to my friends? Was I even _ever_ their friend in the first place? I didn't know."

And then I stood up. "Then I remembered...you told me about a man without position, honor, or education. You asked me what he could cling to as he struggled through life. You said _sincerity_. And I've not been sincere. Even now, I'm lying to the world about how you're dead even though _you're probably not_ and it sucks and it's horrible but I hope you are. I hope you are because if you're a Shadow I'll have to fight you. I don't even know how or why you've even become a Shadow, but because the world is cruel and it's empty and it's vile and it _does not let up_ I just _know_ I'll see you again. One way or another. I'm doing my best, Hidetoshi. And if even that's not enough, I'm sorry."

I did not budge from my spot. The wind blew through me, my body light as a feather.

"You were proud. You were driven. You wanted to abide by society's laws, and you made sure that everyone you knew would abide by them too. Though you could be a little reckless in your approach and kinda overbearing, it was pretty cool to watch you work. In my book, you did a fine job as a member of the student council...and you were a better friend to me than I've been to anyone I've ever met these past six months."

I gripped the wanted poster in my hand, gripped it so tightly it was getting crumpled and torn. Before I turned to the door, I said one last thing as the sun lowered even more and the sky darkened further.

"I'll miss you, senpai."

And for not even a single moment did it ever register that I was not crying.

* * *

I had no right stepping into that antique store. Not after what I had done to her daughter. Yet there I was, searching for answers to this horrific mess. **  
**

Of course, when Narukami's mother saw me, her expression turned bitter. Of course I didn't want to see her. Of course Mitsuru and Yukari knew just what kind of a landmine they were stepping upon by bringing me to her. But we three needed answers and we needed them fast. We only had a month to discover the truth behind all of this Dark Hour nonsense.

She had the first word in. "What is _he_ doing here?"

I said to her quickly in response, "I've seen Nyarlathotep."

At that, she took a step back, her expression remaining much the same. She turned away from us three before heading over to her counter. Procuring a large green bottle from a mini-fridge she'd kept next to her table, she quickly poured out a swig of red wine and poured it in an orange-tinted glass. After downing her drink, she coughed a little and sat herself down on a wooden stool. She was facing us now, and she looked like she'd resigned herself to something.

"When. Where. Why. And _how_."

I turned to both Yukari and Mitsuru. They nodded. I nodded back at them. Turned back to Narukami. "First things first: is there something bigger than he is?"

She was now glaring at us, because I did not know how many lines I was crossing just by asking that one question. But she then shook her head and grumbled, " _Something bigger than Nyarlathotep_...there're a lot of things bigger than he is and I don't even know most of their names."

* * *

We descended into the basement of her shop. It was dusty and damp and dark, a single ceiling light shining down upon all of us. Musty cardboared boxes, cobwebbed and torn, were stacked atop each other and were so numerous that only one person at a time could pass through safely without toppling anything. I, Yukari, and Mitsuru sat ourselves down on a withered red couch. Narukami grabbed a white sheet from one of the boxes and hung it over a metal pole. She then headed back up the stairs and returned to us in a matter of seconds, carrying two large bags in both hands. One bag carried a projector, the other her laptop.

The ensuing setup had taken fifteen minutes or so. Her laptop wouldn't read the projector for a while, despite the cords connecting perfectly. All the while she looked like she didn't want to be where she was, didn't want to even see us in any conceivable fashion. But she kept at it and once she had gotten the projector to shine directly on the white sheet, she opened a file that said _Operation: Paradox_ , and spoke. "The time-manipulation device. You've heard of it?"

I nodded. Yukari didn't react. Mitsuru asked, "What of it?"

She said as she tapped away at her keyboard, hitting an exorbitant amount of keys in entering her password, "The plan, at first, was to use it to help mankind. Go back in time, cure any unwanted ills. Of course, it was dangerous. We didn't know what the results of it would be. But we were all carried by something. Words can't describe it properly. Irresistible fear. Unbridled ecstasy. Some mad nihilistic determination about the possibilities. It was like something was dragging us along and wasn't stopping at any moment. It was like venom, but we wanted more."

Then she opened the folder. Clicked on a video file that just read _Untitled_ —and we saw.

There was a crack on the screen, as though something had broken the camera prior to recording. We heard screams and there were dark lashes of matter flying all over the place. Causing gashes in the steel. Steel panels flew by as more people screamed, dark shades that resembled bodies flying in the air and crashing into the walls. The footage turned black as we heard a distinct voice say _Hrrrpuzzz_ and we heard talk of _bugs_ , endless talk of _bugs_. _Bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs_ **—** then the camera flashed back to normal and we heard a roar. There was a great red shape of a thing that could not be properly described because the video was all fuzzy and it was roaring, but I saw shapes talking to it, trying to demand what it is.

And then finally we heard a real coherent sentence, "Turn off, turn off _the camera_ —!"

Then for the briefest second we saw a flash of someone familiar. Someone who had brown hair, stubble, milky almond eyes, looked worried and terrified and like he was just _wetting_ himself.

"Dad...?" Yukari muttered.

"What?" I asked her.

"G-go back," she demanded, almost getting up from her seat as she repeated, "please go back, just—"

Immediately, Narukami replayed the footage and paused at _just_ the right moment. Yukari saw him. She saw him, and to describe the glint in her eyes at that very moment would not do it any justice at all. She then leaned in the sofa, looking at her knees as her lower lip quivered and her breaths thickened.

"It identified itself...as a Persona," she said. "A creature borne from the Sea of Souls. An aspect of humanity, enraged by its untimely appearance in the mortal plane. It was at that point we all knew that we could no longer halt our research."

"What...?" I murmured.

"We sought to harness the power of Personas and Shadows. Never before had I thought it possible to actually bore a hole into the other side through here...but we did it. I don't know how, I don't want to know how. But we did. Eventually, we tried something more extreme. Kirijo wanted us to breach further in. Eventually, stations changed to Gekkoukan High and we created something that not even Takeharu knew of..."

"What did you keep secret from _my father_?" Mitsuru asked.

Narukami licked her lips with disgruntled eyes, her fingers coming down hard upon one more key as a picture opened up.

A simple white chair. Above that white chair were dozens of wires and cords and pipes and tech coming down from the ceiling, like mechanical intestines and organs hanging from _somewhere_. Nonsensically arranged, the mechanical organs seemed as though they were moving and shambling despite being part of a still image. In the middle of it all, directly seated on the white chair, was a simple silver helmet attached to a white cord; it too, was long enough to reach the ceiling.

"What is that?" I asked.

"We called it _Charon_ ," said Narukami. "It was...our gateway. We'd hoped."

"Gateway...?" asked Yukari, shuffling forward in her seat.

"To try and physically traverse over to the Sea of Souls...after Samael's appearance, we realized it would have been too great a cost. Three people had died already, thanks to our previous attempt at creating a breach. The Sea of Souls is a mental landscape. It was the _safest_ option to psychically send someone there. Through Charon...a creation of mine and Eiichiro Takeba's."

"Takeba—?"

Mitsuru and I turned to Yukari. And she looked exactly how you'd expect her to look in this ghastly situation.

"You're his daughter?" asked Narukami. Yukari nodded slowly. "Then I'm sorry. I wasn't there to save him. He was a good man, and I was honored to have worked so closely with him. But after their first attempt at using Charon, they let me go."

"Why would they...?" Mitsuru wondered aloud.

"Most likely...they wanted to hide something from me," she said. "I was...the foremost researcher they had on Shadows and Personas, after all."

"You were?" I got up from my seat. "Then why would they hide something from you? You'd have been the key to their whole research."

"I know," she grunted. "But Kouetsu Kirijo...wanted to test out Charon for himself. He was eager, and we all knew it was a bad idea, but he demanded. Practically forced his way in the lab the moment he found out we'd completed the machine. Put the helmet on and after a few seconds...," she shook her head. "After that, he remained indoors for the next month. The day he returned, he had me leave. He had a lot of us leave. The big names I knew he kept close to him were Eiichiro Takeba, Han Masatoshi, Shotaro Mifune, Ushio Yuki, and Shuji Ikutsuki—"

"Wait, what's this about _Ushio Yuki_?" I asked her.

"What, is he _your_ father?" I did not answer her. "Figures...," she muttered then. "Out of all of us, he was the most excited about the job. Never saw a wider smile on his face than the one he had on the day I left..."

Mitsuru and Yukari both turned to me, but I paid them little heed as I shook my head and decided to hold off on knowing what _my father_ had to do with this horrific plot. "W-we came here to ask questions. Shuji Ikutsuki, first and foremost. What was his role in all this...?"

"Chief of staff," she grunted. "Dunno how he managed to get himself a position as Gekkou High's chairman of the board...he was second only to Kouetsu Kirijo and had more access to information than even Takeharu did."

"What...was he like...?" Mitsuru asked.

"Secretive. But pleasant. He'd tell jokes often, bad ones. And he _seemed_ genuine when he wished me well, as I packed my things and left," she said. "What is he to you?"

I turned to Mitsuru, and she turned to me. Pursing her lips and furrowing her brows, she turned back to Narukami and asked, "You know nothing about what they planned to do after using Charon to...cross over?"

"No. Before I knew it, midnight turned to green. My husband and son died. And I was left with Yuka. The rest...," she grunted, slamming her laptop shut. "Is history."

I blinked before gathering up the courage to say something, "You said...you know of a lot of things _bigger_ than Nyarlathotep. What are they? And...how did you know of Nyarlathotep in the first place...?"

Disdainfully, she sighed and turned away from us, "I've been...around the block in these matters. I've fought things like Shadows, things bigger than Shadows. Heard a name or two thrown around, decided to ask the Compendium about it after I was let go by Kirijo. Once I hit Nyarlathotep, I stupidly asked if there was anything more powerful than it. In my prime, I thought I was capable of anything and everything. But the thought of the Crawling Chaos alone...made me wary. I wanted to know of a creature stronger than it, so that if I were to ever encounter it I'd be able to search for ways to destroy it. The book only gave me one name. I asked if there were more, but it said that I didn't have the _mental fortitude_ to even be able to physically read them without keeling over and puking involuntarily."

Silence reigned between us three Persona-users for a time, but then I gathered my wits and I decided to ask, "What was the name...?"

She said nothing for a few seconds before taking in a deep breath. She quickly grabbed a piece of paper from a nearby box and scribbled the name on there.

 _Νύξ_

Mitsuru then asked, "How do you pronounce this?" after mouthing the word to herself for a moment.

"I wrote it down specifically so I wouldn't _have to_ pronounce it," she said. "Normal people can say the word just fine, even talk about it in normal conversation. But for people like us...reading it should be enough. It triggers something, in Persona-users or those closely attuned to the Sea of Souls. Saying it carelessly, at best, will give you nightmares for weeks. I knew someone who pronounced this name correctly and she ended up a shut-in for four whole months. Even when we finally got her to step outside, it was still difficult to talk to her because she'd developed bulimia and severe obsessive compulsion the whole time she wallowed indoors."

"But...what is it?" I decided to ask, staring intently into the word. "What kind of monster is it?"

" _Monster_ is too kind a word. _Abomination_ scratches the surface. What word would _you_ use to describe the mother of the Shadows?"

At that, both Mitsuru and Yukari got themselves up from the couch and gave her exactly the same look I did. We turned to each other, our breaths hitched and our spines suddenly freezing up. Felt my guts crawl up to my throat and my lips quiver in horror as the thought of what this monster even _was_ just hammered itself over and over again in my frail human brain.

"S-so, this...?" Mitsuru muttered.

"It has an extremely personal connection to humanity," Narukami casually uttered, sitting herself down on a stack of boxes to our left. "Much more so than others of its ilk. Which is why we can read its name without issue. Once I learned its true nature from the Compendium, I wanted nothing more to do with the Kirijo Group at all. Let them make their experiments, so long as they don't drag me or my family into their mess."

"You made no attempt to _fight back_?" Mitsuru suddenly exclaimed. "You knew they must have been planning something large. Why did you do nothing?"

"They let me off easy," she muttered. "They could have killed me at any time, but decided not to because they had information on me that they could have used for future endeavors. If I fought back against their demands, they'd have done things to my family. Irreparable things I would never be able to forgive myself for. But in the end, it didn't matter at all."

Nobody said a thing after that. Yukari swiftly turned on her heels and left the shop, myself and Mitsuru following her. Unable to imagine what would happen if we were to stay any longer than we did.

Narukami's mother slumped in her seat. Staring at the word. Like it had hypnotized her.

* * *

Later that evening. Command room.

Yukari had gone back to her room, utterly exhausted from everything we knew and didn't know about the Dark Hour or Ikutsuki's involvement or the Shadows or whatever this _Νύξ_ creature was. I was with Mitsuru and we were both in rolling chairs, debating on how we were going to go about discussing these terrifying revelations with the rest of the team.

"I'd already contacted our new members," she said. "We'll head to Tartarus this weekend. Give them more time to prepare."

"You sure?" I asked. "With everything that's been revealed, it might be best to get them to start training as soon as possible."

"They've very recently awakened to their Personas; realized earlier it'd be best to give them a few more days of rest. It'd help them muster up the fortitude for training."

"I see. Now. Have you discovered anything else about the... _mother_ of the Shadows...?"

She turned to the monitor, went over to Google and tapped away at the keyboard. "Searched that word up earlier and I found something you may find interesting."

She pressed _Enter_ and all of a sudden we went to a page centered around figures in Greek mythology; the page itself titled _Greek Primordial Deities._ Mitsuru scrolled down, scrolled for a while until my head hurt from all the names that were on the page until she came across _that_ name, that one name Narukami's mother had written down.

The description spoke of a Goddess of the Night, one that even Zeus himself feared. She was born of Chaos. With Darkness, she birthed Brightness and Dayl by herself, she spawned Doom, Destruction, Pain, the Fates, Friendship, Strife, Sleep, Dreams, Blame, Death.

Death, Death, Death, Death. Her home is Tartarus, and she would enter that nightmarish land of sin just as Day would leave; and once Day would always take her place upon her return. Her name was _Νύξ_ , but when translated to English, I could only recite it in my head because any attempt at actually saying it would result in a lump in my throat as big as the world.

 _Nyx._

"You can't say it either, can you?" asked Mitsuru.

I shook my head, "Have you found anything about her in your grandfather's files?"

"No," Mitsuru replied bitterly. "I've even asked my father to send any documents of his that could possibly contain even cursory bits of information...in those documents, there was nary a mention of this being."

"Ikutsuki may have some files in here about her."

"I've searched. Nothing. Perhaps he'd deleted them all."

"Do we know anyone good with technology?" I asked. "Do you know how to recover deleted files?"

Mitsuru blinked, her hand cupping her mouth as she rested her elbow on the dashboard. "But if Ikutsuki's deleted the files, he must have been very thorough about it. There's nothing, not even in our backup drive. Searched every inch of every folder. Nothing at all. Though..."

"What?" I asked.

"Perhaps we could ask Yamagishi...," Mitsuru muttered faintly.

"Yamagishi?" I asked, having heard her.

"Not only does she excel at providing support during battle, but also at obtaining information," Mitsuru replied, leaning back in her seat. "She has a lot of experience working with computers and her technical skill was enough for me to...," she lowered her head, "ask her for her help back in Yakushima."

Remembered beaches and crying brunettes and screaming and androids and I felt _horrible_. "What does Yakushima have to do with this?"

"I wanted her to help me find out more about the incident ten years ago, in full," she grunted. "Thought that perhaps she would be able to get that information through the computer databases stationed at my father's summer home. Though my father ended up revealing the truth in the end...he had discovered my intentions before we were even able to go through with our plan."

She continued tapping away at the computer, looking for more information on this _Nyx_ character as my head began to burn from merely thinking of that name. I leaned back in my own chair and decided to come clean with something that had been on my mind.

"Orpheus Telos is a detector, kind of," I said.

She turned, stopping for a moment, "What?"

"I'm not in control of it, but...he can see events taking place, either in the past or happening in real-time," I said. "Last night, I saw Yukari slumping down to the floor with her back against her door, and when I slept I dreamt of Mrs. Narukami going to the hospital and checking up on her daughter."

"You're sure you weren't just dreaming all of it?"

"I'm sure. They were both too... _real_ to be a dream. I'm not able to control it yet, like I said; it happens at random intervals. I just thought you should know."

"I see," she said. She then lowered her head once more, her hands unmoving. "The door is right next to you, and you don't even know it."

I blinked and turned behind me. Still couldn't see it. "Really, now...?"

"It's just...standing there. Like it's waiting for me to enter it," she sighed in her own exhaustion. I took a good look at her constantly closing-and-reopening eyelids as she strained to keep herself awake.

"You need to get yourself some rest," I said. "Wouldn't do us any good if your leader ended up passing out in Tartarus."

"I can't. This is too important. This has always been too important."

"You'll drain yourself at this rate," I argued.

She then suddenly _slam_ med her hand on the dashboard and exclaimed, "My grandfather and everyone else responsible for the Dark Hour is dead or regretful or _Ikutsuki_. The Shadows being in this world is a result of my family trying to awaken _something_ that most likely wants us all dead. Tartarus is the legacy of the Kirijo Group. I have spent entire nights agonizing over every single little detail in my grandfather's notes, reading and rereading and _rereading again_ just to make sure I got everything right. My mother is gone because the Shadows have taken her. My father looks like he wants to kill himself every single day and I'm sure the only reason he doesn't is because he figures living is a more fitting punishment. I couldn't _afford_ to feel vengeful, I had a whole city to look after. So don't _tell_ _me_ , after everything _you've_ done, to get some rest when Armageddon could happen at any moment now!"

We stayed silent for a while, after that. It lasted for about a minute or so, however.

"Then I'll stay with you here," I said to her. "And I'll help you get to the bottom of this. Even if it takes us several nights."

She blinked at me, breathing heavily before heaving out a sigh. She turned back to the computer and began hitting keys again as she said a simple, "Thank you."

 _ ***SMASH!***_

"Oh, _what_ —?"

"Yuki?"

 _ **"Thou shalt be blessed when thou chooseth to imbue thyself with the Empress Arcana..."**_

"Really...?"

"What is it?"

"Our Social Link's advanced...," I muttered weakly, clutching at my head in pain.

Mitsuru just nodded in half-annoyance, half-amusement; tapping at her keyboard all the while. "I see. I'll make a visit to the Velvet Room tomorrow...tonight, I'd like us to try scrounging up any information we can find in the files here."

"Sure. How many are there?"

"Four hundred and forty-four."

I lurched forward in my seat, "Are you _serious_!?"

"We have a long night ahead of us, Yuki," she said, stretching her fingers. "Time to put that willpower of yours to the test."

Then she opened the folder and suddenly sleepless nights began for me once more.

* * *

 **author's notes:**

* * *

We'll get back to Social Linking next chapter; gonna be quite a while till the next Full Moon. Right now, I want Makoto to spend more time with his chums; if we got into the action so soon after having left it, then there'd be little in the way of plot progression.

What I'm gonna try doing for Part II is emphasizing the character aspect of things more. While Part I focused more on action setpieces, this one is gonna focus on Makoto's growth as a human being and the bonds he cultivates amongst his friends. This one's gonna be a lot more dramatic, a lot more interaction-based, and a lot more... _human_ , I feel.

Please do review and favorite and follow, if you can. Hoping to make this a really personal work XD


	11. Like Toy Soldiers

A dream.

One more dream, of this nature. Perhaps my last one.

When I came to my senses, I found myself in my lyre-shaped chair. All my Personas stood behind me, their backs straight. None of them said a single word. I turned forward and I saw what they loomed over, I saw what lay before me and I recognized it all too well.

The urn was as large as my forearm. Igor held it in his arms and got out of his seat, walking over to the middle of the Room. He nodded, but he didn't nod at me. He nodded to a woman who stood at my left. One with pale skin and topaz eyes and platinum-blonde hair, one who carried herself with an air of nobility. One who wore a blue attendant's outfit, much like Elizabeth's. Her hair was long and cascaded down to her back, held back by a hairband. She didn't even spare a glance at me as she made her way to Igor, taking the urn into her arms.

She then bowed to Igor, a blue door suddenly snapping into existence behind Igor's seat—right underneath the giant golden clock running its hands endlessly.

"Death is not a hunter unbeknownst to its prey, one is always aware that it lies in wait," Igor spoke. "Though life is merely a journey to the grave, it must not be undertaken without hope. Only then will a traveler's story live on, treasured by those who bid him farewell. Alas, the life of a trusted ally has ended, her tale never to be forgotten. May her memory live on within the Sea of Souls. May we see each other again."

It was at this point that the woman with pale skin and topaz eyes and platinum-blonde hair, the noble woman who held Elizabeth's urn, walked to the door. Walked to it without even addressing me or Igor or any of my Personas. She only faced me once, the moment she opened the door under the clock. She stared at me but didn't emote, spoke a million words without saying anything at all, and just held the urn closer to her chest.

It was at this point that she decided to actually tell me something. "Do not let my sister's sacrifice be in vain."

And the moment she exited the room through the door under the clock, I slouched in my seat and I exhaled.

I'd been to too many funerals.

* * *

 **LIKE TOY SOLDIERS.**

* * *

"What do you want?"

"I want to talk," I replied to him.

Sourly, he muttered, "What's there to talk about?"

"A lot of things," I say simply.

"Fine. Where do you wanna start? You tell me, maybe then I'll be interested in talking."

Junpei's back was turned to me. He was eating some udon, having sat himself on the couch in the living room of the dorm. Of course he did not want anything to do with me after what I'd confessed. It was a given that not everyone would be so keen to just sweep things under the rug after I had once more done something so terrible. And frankly, considering how many times Junpei and I had come to blows these past few months, this was all too expected.

Though I normally would not have left this well enough alone, the past few days had tired me out enough. Some part of me wondered if Junpei would remain so uptight if he were to learn about _That Which Must Not Be Named_ , but then the thought left just as quickly as it'd come.

"Nothing?" he then asked. To which I had no response. After that, he got up from his seat and addressed me pointedly, "You know the reason we all started hanging out with you so frequently? The reason we all decided to be all buddy-buddy with you when the going got tough? It was because you were a time bomb, waiting to blow."

So decided to let him rip me apart and not to get all defensive, because there was nothing I could defend myself with at all to begin with. He was right, though it was quite uncomfortable for me to really accept that even now. But what he said next caught me off-guard.

"Look, I don't think you're a bad guy," he grunted, folding his arms. "None of us do. And it sucks, what you went through. It's beyond horrible. But there's always _something_ — always some issue that gets dredged up every time we're out there, in the Hour, and either you or the Shadows or _both of you_ or even us —we all end up making things so much worse. It ain't entirely your fault. It's just one big mess where everybody just hates everyone because it's easy to hate and get mad."

Awkwardly, uncomfortably, I turned to the door and back to him as I asked, "So, what now? What now, after all of this?"

"Right now, I'm too tired to really get upset at you or anyone anymore," he said as he took his seat again. "You've already said your piece and I'd just be making things worse by complaining again. I just want this to be over with, y'know? I don't wanna talk to you, I don't wanna talk about anything having to do with Tartarus right now. Just leave me alone."

I knew that this would bite us hard sooner or later, especially if neither of us ended up making peace before the next full moon. There was a lot on the line, but I was done trying to enforce peace between us. It was only going to bring us back to where we'd started. Then I texted Mitsuru, asked her Fuka's room number, then left the dorm. I didn't see Junpei's eyes boring into the back of my blue head as I exited the dorm and headed out to Tatsumi Memorial.

* * *

"Yuki-kun..."

Fuka Yamagishi was a truly kind girl. So kind sometimes it defied logic, I felt. When the whole team feared me and my powers, she simply came to my aid because that was the kind of person she was. Even in the face of all the monstrosities we'd faced, she still kept up an optimistic lease on life. That kind of thing had gotten her bullied relentlessly, but it was because of her kindness that she was a lot more admirable than I could ever be.

Not that that was ever really hard to do...

So of course it made me more than a little upset, when Mitsuru had told me about the injuries she'd sustained to her eyes. Injuries that were thanks to Theodore's Armageddon and were reportedly supposed to blind her for the next few days.

Injuries that weren't there, by the time I'd arrived to see her.

Her eyes were open, she was looking at me, she was _smiling_ at me and I don't know why she'd _smile_ at me after everything that'd happened but then I remembered she was Fuka, she was like that, and that was a good thing. Because in this messed up world we needed people like her to keep people like me going.

But now I was getting sidetracked. "How'd your eyes get fixed up...?" I asked her.

"I don't know..." she said, closing her left eye and touching her eyelid. "But a few hours after I'd been dropped off here, I just...regained my sight. The doctors still advised me to remain here, though, for at least until tomorrow. They still want to do some tests, see what exactly happened."

"That's fantastic," I said to her, smiling now.

"Yes, it is," she replied, smiling back. Smiling a little sadly now. "But..." then her expression turned dour, and she asked, "I have to know: what happened after I lost my sight...? It's all a little hazy..."

"Frankly," I said to her as I took a seat and sat down, "a lot. Too much, in fact..."

I told her everything that had happened the past few days. How Elizabeth and Hidetoshi were the only ones we'd lost in Monad. Lying to basically everyone in the school about Hidetoshi's death because _what could we tell them_? Inducting multiple newcomers to S.E.E.S., people we knew of from the school deciding to join the fight against the Dark Hour. I even told her about that creature with the name we couldn't say, the name we couldn't even _think_ of without feeling something like a headache.

But the part about Social Links, Velvet Rooms, and confessions was what _really_ got to her. The look in her eyes when I told her all that, the way she didn't say a single thing at all as I spoke. Whether she'd hate me for it or not, I didn't know. But as a member of the team, she had a right to know just what had been going through my mind at such a troubled time in the year. She had that right because out of everyone on the team she was the one who was willing to support me the most and for that I was grateful.

"I knew that saying _sorry_ wouldn't do much at all. So I decided to give them control of the Velvet Room."

Of course, when we got to the stuff concerning the Velvet Room, I held nothing back from her either. Told her about Igor and Elizabeth's roles, how important they were in the development of my skills, about _Social Links_ and all their implications, and the whole time I was left hoping that she and I wouldn't end up at odds.

I told her about Elizabeth sacrificing herself for me, and how the stakes...had grown so much.

"What do you mean by that...?" she asked me then. To which I stared deep into her eyes, solemn and sober.

"The next full moon Shadow..." I shook my head. "Defeating it might not end the Dark Hour."

At that, she moved forward in her sheets, " _Why_...?" being all she could say at that. "What...how could that be, after...?"

"Back in Monad, in the Velvet Room, Philemon spoke of how the whole ten floors were meant to herald something even bigger than Nyarlathotep. Judging from how Nyarlathotep's power exceeds that of any Arcana we've seen thus far...and the fact that Monad itself still has two floors untouched, after everything we did to it...I have a hunch that the Hanged Man we'll face in November won't be the last we'll see of the Shadows. There's so much we don't know yet, so much that's been hidden from us. Especially more so now that we've actually gotten the _name_ of..."

I trailed off, unable to think of that name for more than two seconds without getting a headache. Fuka then asked, "Yuki-kun...what name are you...?"

"The _name_..." I growled, trying to endure the pain. Hissing not in anger at Fuka, but in the agony of my brain aching as much as it was, I said to her, "her name is..." then I got one of my notebooks and wrote down the English name for the creature so that Fuka would be able to fully read it; she was good with English, she'd understand, hopefully she'd be able to discern what it means without feeling too pained.

She stared at it for a while before slowly placing the notebook down. Her eyes darted to look over at me.

" _This_ is what we're up against?"

"Yeah...," I said. "This is the name of the supposed _mother_ of the Shadows...we got this info from Narukami's mother and though she didn't know too much, she was able to set us on the right path."

"So...," Fuka asked, closing her eyes for a moment before she turned her head to look at me. "What are we going to do about this...?"

"That's where you come in," I told her.

"Wh-what?" she stammered, eyes widened.

I exhaled, "Kirijo-senpai and I need you to hack into the terminal in the command room. See if there's anything encrypted in the files, anything that may be recoverable even after it's been deleted."

"Y-you think Ikutsuki-san is hiding something from us?" she asked, getting the gist of the situation almost immediately.

"Yes," I said without hesitation. "He just might be. Kirijo and I searched all the physical files we could get our hands on concerning the Shadows and the Kirijo Group's involvement with them, but nothing in them or in her grandfather's notes suggested anything even remotely related to That Which Must Not Be Named. Ikutsuki was close to Mitsuru's grandfather, so either he's hiding something or he really doesn't know what we've dug into either. Nevertheless...we need you to look into this. If only to be on the safe side."

"...this...is risky," she said eventually, closing her eyes and letting out a nervous breath. "If you're right about this, and if I get caught—"

"You won't. You're too good for that."

"We're working on nothing but an assumption, you realize that, right?"

"And what if it isn't?" I asked her. "We can't make mistakes now, Philemon said that Monad's meant to herald something greater than Nyarlathotep, and this monster," I pointed to the name on the paper, getting another sudden headache, "is the closest lead we have on that."

Fuka was silent for a long while. Perhaps she needed to think things over. I didn't blame her. We were asking a lot from her, especially so soon after recovering. Her eyes rested on the open notebook for a while before she let out a breath through her mouth.

"...getting to those files should be easy enough," she said. "Even if they're deleted from the terminal, depending on the system, they should have left an echo somewhere that I can track and restore...this is going to take some time. Probably a couple days. And possibly nights as well."

"That's alright," I told her. She had a worried expression on her face that suggested that she was concerned about the amount of time it would take to do this. "This is important, so we need everything we can get."

"...he can't know what I'm up to..." she murmured to herself before speaking up. "Are Mitsuru-senpai and I the only ones you talked to about this?"

"Oh, uh...y-yeah," I said, with a nod of my head. "She was the one to bring up the idea, actually."

Fuka closed her eyes in thought. As though she was absorbing everything I told her. It _was_ a lot of information, so it was hard to blame her for taking a moment to let it sink in.

"...you don't have to do this," I told her. "Even if you refuse, we'll find another way."

Fuka let out a giggle in response, turning to me with a confident smirk.

"What's a gamble without risk?" she asked. That smirk vanished as she continued. "...after everything that's happened...why are you still fighting?"

My shoulders deflated, and I told her outright, "I don't want anyone else to die."

"Is that all...?" she asked then. "Is it really that simple?"

"Back then, it wasn't," I admitted. "Back then, I was angry and afraid and was so desperate to have you all stay with me, I couldn't bear the thought of the Shadows taking you. I wanted to kill them because I hated them. I wanted to kill them like they killed my family. But _none_ of that matters anymore. This, right here," I pointed to the name once more, "is bigger than any of us will ever be. If we're not careful, it may kill us and we won't even know what's going on until it's too late. My hatred, my anger, all of it is _nothing_ compared to it. Everything, our triumphs, the blood, sweat, tears, corpses, all of that will be for _nothing_ if we let this chaotic monster come and kill us all. I won't let that happen. That's all."

At that, Fuka looked at me. Then she looked at her hands. With her newly-healed eyes. She stared at the creases in her palms, and I took a look at them myself. Seeing that they were soft, not callused like mine, and yet not as smooth as they should be.

"What about you?" I asked. "Why did you join S.E.E.S. to begin with? Why are you fighting?"

"I...," Fuka sighed. "I don't know. I guess I saw this as a chance to break free from the cage my parents trapped me in...they're doctors," she explained. "They had high hopes for me, following in their footsteps...I knew for a long time though that following the path they walked wasn't what I wanted. It wasn't who I was..."

She let out a short laugh, holding her hand to her mouth.

"I guess I'm pretty childish, aren't I?" she asked, looking out the window and staring at that sky. "I'm a girl whose only dream is to fly."

She stretched her hand out towards it, like she was trying to catch the clouds between her fingers.

"I'd give anything to fly through that sky. To touch it with my own hands. To have wings of my own...anything."

Those were words she said a long time ago. Back when we rescued her from Tartarus, when we talked privately on the roof. Where I saw her staring at the sky above with that same look on her face. Back then, and even now, her wish is sincere. She pulled her hand back and rested it on her lap.

"As long as I'm like this though, that wish will be nothing but a fantasy. My own Persona is a constant reminder of this...a prison...to be honest, when I lost my sight back at Tartarus, I panicked. Not because of what I saw, but because of the thought that I would never be able to see the sky again. Simple-minded, isn't it?"

"...not at all," I told her. "Everyone's different. We can't expect everyone to feel the same way all the time."

"You think so?" she asked before turning to the window again. How often did she do that? Just stare out the window of whatever room she was in, dreaming of something she couldn't do?

"Something on your mind?" I asked, wondering about the ambiguous look on her face, like she was holding something back.

"...not particularly," she replied, turning to face me. "It's just...I...I had a dream last night...it was about Yuka."

 _...oh._

Her look shifted from ambiguous to melancholic. The change was subtle, her true feelings leaking out as she thought back on it.

"Dream probably isn't the right word for it. It was more a nightmare," she corrected. "I...we were on the ground. Somewhere very high. I think it was the top of Tartarus, though I can't be sure of that. I don't know what happened, but we were the only ones there. We were...dying."

She looked scared now. I was starting to get a little worried myself how this dream would end. Though I had my suspicions.

"For a while, all I could see was black, and all I could hear was the snow falling. When I was able to see again, I was...holding her in my arms. M-My injuries were gone but hers weren't...there was nothing I could do to help her." Her eyes began to well up with tears as she continued to tell me about this, her voice cracking every once in a while. She must have been holding this in for a while now. Too long, I'd say. "She said her last words to me...I couldn't hear what they were, but...I knew what she said. She died after telling me _that_!"

"...what did she say?" I asked softly, hoping that I wasn't treading over something I shouldn't. Fuka shook her head after a while.

"I don't think I can say it...I feel like I'd break into pieces if I tried...she said...she said...!" What strength she had left holding back her tears left her completely as she broke down into sobs.

...the sight in front of me was almost incomprehensible. It felt like _I_ was the one dreaming. This couldn't be real, I told myself. And yet, this was reality. This was really happening. Another consequence that I would take responsibility for. The result of my mistake. I have heard her cry before, but seeing it is another matter entirely.

"I carried her body out the tower, a snowstorm blowing over the city by the time I get to the entrance," she continued, her voice rough from crying. She soldiered through her tears as she finished recalling what she saw. "I called out for someone— _anyone_ —who could help. I thought the only answer I got was the raging wind...but...a voice spoke. He told me that it was all my fault, before saying that I have to carry the burden until the end of time...the moment I felt my heart stop, I woke up."

The nightmare sounded terrifying just from her description. I couldn't imagine actually seeing it for myself.

"It was the middle of the night, so I had to clamp my hand over my mouth to stop myself from screaming. I didn't want to go back to sleep, for obvious reasons." She let out a nervous giggle whilst rubbing her eyes. "Why did I see something so horrible? She's been on my mind a lot lately, and I don't know why..."

Out of all of us, she and I were probably the people from S.E.E.S. Yuka spoke to the most. I think she spoke to Fuka a little more, which I could only imagine she would be happy about.

"When she and I were alone, she was always so shy around me. Nerves from being in that tower, I guess. I could always focus so hard on helping the rest of you because I knew she was there, watching my back...I wish I spoke to her more." The guilt on her face showed clearly. She was blaming herself for what happened? No, that isn't right. She had nothing to feel guilty about. I didn't say anything though. Not until she was finished speaking. "She trusted me with something important to her. A secret. I promised her not to tell anyone what she told me...and I don't ever intend to. To be honest, I don't know why she trusted _me_ , but I was so happy she did...really happy...I got to act like a senpai for once..."

"...you miss her," I stated simply. After seeing her cry, I couldn't let the guilt show on my face. It just would have made her more upset, and...I didn't think I could bear it. Fuka looked up at me, her tear-streaked face showing surprise. Like the thought hadn't occurred to her before that moment...There was one other possibility I could think of, for why this was affecting her so much, but I didn't bring it up. That was something she would have to find an answer for herself. If it was what I thought it was, anyway.

"Is that...so...?" Saying that with shaky breaths, she looked down at her lap for a while. Eventually, her hands curled up into fists, gripping her covers as she turned to look at me. The traces of panic were gone. The sadness was still there, but she had a determined look in her eye. "If...when she wakes up, I want all of this to be over. I don't want the world she'll wake up to be worse than the one she left."

"...it won't," I declared, standing up. "We'll make sure of that. You should speak to her when she does. I think she would be happy if you were the first person she sees when she wakes up."

She opened her mouth like she was about to deny it, but she closed it quickly. She instead smiled, probably at the thought that what I said was true. I held out my hand to her.

"Let's save the world."

She nodded, and took my hand in her own. We shook.

 _ ***SMASH!***_

 _ **"Thou shalt be blessed when thou chooseth to imbue thyself with the Priestess Arcana..."**_

 _ ***CRACK!***_

 _Wh...what was that?_

A sharp crack sounded out in my mind. The image of the Priestess Arcana in my mind suddenly cracked. The card itself looked like it was about to shatter into pieces.

 _ **"Be wary, Wild Card. For the owner of this Arcana walks down a path of darkness. Of madness. Of evil. If left unchecked, she will fall prey to the Chaos Arcana..."**_

I gave Fuka a brief nod before exiting the room. I couldn't say anything. What could I say? I didn't know what this could mean, and I was afraid to find out...

* * *

Command room of the dormitory. Everyone was present.

'Twas Saturday. The day of our next venture into Tartarus.

"First off, I would like to thank each and every one of you," Mitsuru began. She was sitting on a small stool, facing the three newest teammates sitting on the couch of the room. I, Fuka, and Yukari stood behind Mitsuru, standing right in front of the command terminal. The rest of the team stood patiently behind the couch. Waiting for what we had to say. "I am very grateful you decided to join us in the fight against the Shadows. However, there have been recent developments as of late which have thrown everything we'd understood about the Shadows and their nature into question."

Mamoru raised his hand, "What such developments, may I ask?"

To which Mitsuru replied, "It is entirely possible that defeating the Shadow we are to face on the next full moon will not end the Dark Hour."

Mamoru didn't react much. But Saori leaned back in her seat, rearing her head up in horror, while Kazushi leaned forward and muttered quickly, "Wh-what!?" Junpei gritted his teeth and turned away. Akihiko balled his hands into fists as he pursed his lips, Shinjiro acting all stoic as well. Koromaru's ears rose and Ken's shoulders deflated as he faced the ground. Fuka remained silent, keeping her eyes locked on mine.

Yukari looked at the ground, unwilling to see anybody's eyes.

Mitsuru continued on, "Yuki, Takeba, and I have recently stumbled upon some new information regarding the Shadows' arrival...their purpose in coming to this world. And we have come to the conclusion that the powerful Shadows we've faced these past full moons _is_ most likely heralding the arrival of something far greater than they. As you were told in the Velvet Room, during the events of October 4."

"You're certain?" Mamoru asked then, still maintaining a still gaze.

"Yes," I suddenly cut in. "I'm certain."

"This isn't just some gut feeling or whatever?" he asked, his hands clasping together firmly while trembling.

"We've looked into it. We've contacted a member of the team that had enacted the experiment which led to the creation of the Hour," I said to him and the rest of them. "This member spoke of a creature that was the mother of all the Shadows. A creature whose name we can't even _say_."

"I-it can't be _that_ bad...," Kazushi said nervously.

To which I placed a piece of paper on the table between us, a paper indicating the creature's name. Then I asked, "Anyone getting any headaches?"

Junpei laid a hand on his head, eyes wide, "You're kidding..."

"So this _thing_ ," said Akihiko then, teeth gritted, "this is what we're gonna be up against, huh...?"

"The mother of the Shadows...," Shinjiro trailed off, staring at the word as if trying to _memorize_ it for some reason. Giving no signs of pain at all.

Koromaru didn't react, as he was not tall enough to read the word on the table. Ken and Fuka read the word, and though the latter had already read it once before, she just refused to tear her eyes away from it now despite the blistering pain she must have felt. Ken kept himself steady, all things considered, but in the end children just aren't meant to be stone-cold and stoic. As he turned away from that simple piece of paper, I spoke up again.

"This creature, simply put, must be _worlds_ more powerful than any other Shadow we've ever faced. Like our Personas, this creature's name has its roots in mythology. Greek myth, to be precise. It is the progenitor of primordial monstrosities and is powerful enough such that even gods feared it. Up to this point, we are not aware if this creature _specifically_ is what's waiting for us, in the end. And we are unaware of what could trigger its arrival. However, we are looking into what this... _means_ in terms of our goals. We've still got a city to defend, Shadows to defeat, and lives to save."

"We'll be looking into this, of course," Mitsuru then cut in. "But then we'll have to dredge up the question again: do you still wish to fight?" She stared at everyone evenly, everyone before her—even the veterans. "I'm not going to lie to you: the game has changed. This is no longer merely the question of if you wish to defend the city or not. Thousands, if not _millions_ of lives may be at stake here. Worst-case scenario is, the world may end."

Kazushi chuckled nervously, "That...that can't be it, come on..."

"Shadows indeed have properties which indicate they are capable of manipulating space and time," Mitsuru continued, her eyes fixed on Kazushi. As he reared himself backward, she kept talking. "If this Shadow is powerful enough to take on the name of a primordial entity, we can only imagine what it can do if it were unleashed upon the Earth. And perhaps not even this creature is the most powerful of its kind. So I must tell you once more: you can choose to leave now, and never come back. You can choose to forsake this journey, abandon it entirely and live out your lives. Or you can stay, and help us find a way to beat back the dark."

The question was not solely directed at Kazushi or even the other newbies. It was directed towards everyone in the room, and we all knew it.

Mamoru kept his gaze sharp and his back straight, Saori kept her eyes on Mitsuru, while Kazushi's pursed lips and arched back seemed to indicate he was more than a little intimidated. Shinjiro and Akihiko glared not out of anger but out of resigned acceptance. Junpei, with furrowed brows and twitchy knee, eyed me dangerously. Ken's hands balled into fists and he straightened out his back. Fuka maintained her expression. Mitsuru patiently waited for what everyone had to say.

Yukari stood next to me and still kept herself still, not emoting or making any noise of any sort.

After another few moments, Mamoru was the first to declare once more, "I'm going to stay."

Mitsuru said, "You'll never be able to turn your back on it again."

"All the more reason," he said.

Then Kazushi said, "Me, too. I'm already...I'm already deep into it. Got my family to think of. If the world's gonna die...I can't turn away from it."

Saori, now, "Me, neither. I'm not going to turn away from this at all."

Mitsuru nodded. "And what of all of you?" she asked, to the vets. "If any of you wish to leave, you may. Right at this very moment."

And nobody did.

Nobody wanted to. Nobody could, even if they did. Not one of them moved a single inch from where they were. Until Shinjiro decided to speak up. "I've already thrown my lot in with you all. Might as well see how this all ends..."

"I'm gonna see this fight to the end," suddenly cut in Akihiko. "There's too much on the line to care about just myself...this kind of battle is beyond every single one of us. We'll all have to pick up the pace..."

Ken suddenly spoke up, "I-I'd...I'd like to...," then his voice lowered somewhat, as he said, "I'd like to talk to you...personally, about all of this...first. Before giving my answer..."

Junpei then chuckled morosely, looking at all of us like we'd all just shot ourselves, "You're all crazy...but then again, that means I must be, too."

"I won't turn my back on this world," said Fuka. Her eyes specifically on me, of all people. "That's all."

At that, I nodded. And then turned to Yukari. She turned to me. Lips pursed, eyes downcast. Voice no louder than a whisper, "Yeah."

To which we all agreed to head out. Mitsuru leading the way out of the command room, "Then let us be off to the gates of Hell."

And right before every one of us made our way out the room, I heard something Yukari said. Something she couldn't help but say, after everything that had happened. She'd seen her father just days before, in that video feed. A member of the Kirijo Group, someone who'd helped catalyze the Dark Hour and rend reality asunder. And seeing him again must have put a toll on her once more.

That toll manifested in a few simple words:

"We're all like toy soldiers."

And that was all she said. I'd have asked her what she'd meant by that, if she didn't just slip past me. Out the door, with the rest of them. And when I stared at the back of her head as she made her way out, I felt a heavy and dull feeling settle somewhere in my chest.

And then I felt a **_*SMASH!*_**

 _Are you kidding me._

 _ **"Thou shalt be blessed if thou chooseth to imbue thyself with the Arcana Beyond the World...  
Thou shalt be blessed if thou chooseth to imbue thyself with the Arcana of the Twenty-Second Fool..."**_

 _No. Of course you're not._

* * *

Outside Gekkoukan High.

11:50 PM.

Mitsuru stood at the gates, her eyes kept firmly on the watch around her wrist. Koromaru stood beside her and just kept his eyes on the school, waiting for it to turn right before their very eyes. Akihiko leaned against the steel frame of the gates themselves, Shinjiro at his side. Junpei, Fuka, Yukari, and I all stood with our newest members, our weapons already unsheathed. None of us said a single word to each other and didn't care that we had our weapons out in the dead of night, we just all hoped tonight would end real quickly.

Ken was at home. We'd decided to have him stay back at the dorm, since he was conflicted and all. Absolutely no one blamed him.

Kazushi had a katana with him, and it amused me that even with Junpei's experience with the blade, Kazushi simply wielded it more efficiently. More like a sword than a bat. And even up to now he was practicing his swing and training his poise, swinging his silver blade downward and shirking back in a constant loop—as though this was still Kendo practice.

Mamoru also had a katana, though he didn't practice with it. Instead, he opted to stare curiously at the school and wait, like the dog. Saori walked over to me and brought me out of my silence once she asked, "The school...turns at midnight, right?"

I nodded at her, saying, "Yes." Then I turned to the weapon in her hands, "You sure you'll be comfortable with that?"

She stared at the sheathed scimitar in her hands, cringing a little at the thought of having to use it, and she said, "I'll have to be."

"Alright. Remember, tonight will be the first night you summon your Persona. Since you specialize in healing, you'll largely be kept on the sidelines. We'll be there to cut in if things get too rough out there."

She nodded then, before asking me, "Since when have you been fighting this fight?"

I don't say anything for the next few seconds, breathing soberly. When I do speak, I say, "Six months ago. Since I arrived here. Shadow attacked the dorm, and with a lot of teamwork and more than a little luck, it died. After that, I joined the team."

She looked at me intently and she said, "I was...told about your parents and...your sister."

At that, my shoulders lowered as I asked, "When?"

She pursed her lips, "Edogawa told me, day after I had you join up with the clinic. He just _told me it_ , and he said it like he just thought it was an interesting bit of trivia. Never brought it up because I thought it'd be too awkward, but..."

"Yes," I said to her, "they're the reason I decided to fight the Shadows."

Junpei, Fuka, and Yukari then all turned to me. Though I didn't see them directly, I heard the shuffling noise of their weapons and I felt their eyes on the back of my head. And I did not blame them at all for being as openly cautious as they were.

Saori then eyed me carefully, the look on her face indicating she thought she'd crossed some sort of line. "I'm sorry for bringing that up."

"No," I insisted, "no, it's fine. I mean...well, of course it isn't. But, well...things have changed from then and now."

"I see," she replied simply, not wanting to touch upon the issue any further.

"So Makoto," Kazushi suddenly asked, coming over to us all, hoisting his blade on its blunt end over his shoulder. "Any tips on what we're gonna face in there?"

I told him, "For tonight, we'll settle with having you train on the first floor. You and the Shadows should be at each other's level. Now, just so we're clear: over the next few weeks, we'll have you all progressively make your way up blocks of the tower, around two or so floors per block. I'll be with you all every step of the way. The others on the team will climb upward, on the last floor we hit up."

"So...you the guy leading this whole team?" Kazushi suddenly asked me.

" _Field_ leader," I replied. "Kirijo's the brains of it all. I just...happen to have powers she and the others don't."

"Which are...?" interjected Mamoru. "I mean...if you're gonna guide us in our venture, we might as well get at least some idea on what kind of help we can expect."

"I can use—"

And then everyone turned to the school. Sky turned green. Blood everywhere. School transformed. Everybody just stopped paying attention to anything else, drawn to the horror rising up from Gekkoukan. And as they stared, I watched and I prayed; hoping that in the ensuing venture nobody would die this time.


	12. History Repeats

Mitsuru had told me a few days ago about that green platform at the bottom floor of Tartarus. It had apparently been built as some teleportation device; something to allow Persona-users to enter and exit various spots throughout Tartarus without having to resort much to Traesto Gems.

The device, called an Access Point, had failed to deliver what it promised in years past due to shorting out on its first day. Every time Kirijo technicians had tried to repair it, tried to fix it in whatever way they saw needed fixing, it'd always just blow up in their faces when they'd try to use it again.

Eventually, they had decided to just leave it be. Mitsuru, however, had other plans in mind for this particular scenario. Now that we had new members in our fold, we couldn't just have them fight Shadows on the upper floors alongside us. They'd be eviscerated in no time flat. Instead, what she had wanted for us to do was have the vets do battle in the upper floors while the new blood would use the Access Points to train in the lower floors.

Mitsuru had told me of a plan she had, one that could possibly repair the Access Points and allow for the plan to work. I trusted her; even if her plan was to fail, she spoke of a backup plan which she would relay to me when we'd enter the ground floor.

Neither of us expected that the ground floor just wouldn't _be there_.

"Everyone...," I said to them, raising my blade and looking down, "stay back..."

"What in the world...?"

There was once a bridge that led to a platform which, in turn, led to a gateway that would transport us to Tartarus' upper floors. But there was no bridge and there was no platform and there was no gateway. We couldn't take one step off the edge of the entrance or we'd fall down a black and seemingly bottomless hole.

"You've gotta be kidding," said Junpei.

"I don't remember the ground floor looking like this," said Mamoru, and I wondered why he wasn't just freaking out like he should've been. Like we all were.

"It's not supposed to," I said. "Never did. Everyone prepare yourselves."

"What're you going to do?" asked Saori.

"See how deep this goes," I said, putting an Evoker to my head, "Jack Frost."

Small but powerful. He'd get the job done. Barrelling out of my skull like Personas would, the new blood still looking visibly uncomfortable at the act itself, Jack Frost summoned a thick block of ice in his left hand and hurled it downward.

We didn't hear it crash.

It was then that Kazushi noticed, "Wait, _that_ 's your Persona?"

I turned to Kaz, eyes half-lidded as the others turned to him as well in mild disappointment. "That's your concern right now, really?"

"Well, it's a legit concern," he replied, shrugging. "I mean...you _are_ gonna lead us in battle. Didn't think your Persona'd look so...plushy."

"Don't worry, I have more than one, after all," I sighed.

Saori asked then, "How does that even work, again...?"

"Velvet Room. Igor. Don't you guys remember? I told you this the day after we got you out of Monad."

"Kinda easy to forget that little detail, considering pretty much everything else," muttered Mamoru.

I blinked, "Got a point there."

"I don't sense any enemies, thankfully," said Fuka. "Nothing'll be rising up on us from here, or so it seems."

"So...," said Junpei. "How do we get over to the upper floors?"

"We could always use our Personas," said Yukari. "Like, we could get on them and ride them the whole way to the gate?"

"What if a Shadow flies up and eats us on the way, though?" asked Akihiko.

"Yamagishi said she doesn't sense any," I replied.

"What if that's not true anymore?" asked Shinjiro. "Remember how she couldn't sense any Shadows down in Monad? What if something in the rules _changed_ between then and now?"

Did I cause Tartarus to glitch out by blowing up Nyarlathotep? Perhaps; didn't seem completely out of the question. Made things a little bit more difficult for us, though.

"Wait," said Mitsuru. "There may still be a way we can walk up there."

"What are you thinking?" I asked her.

"Stretch your foot out."

"What's the point of that?" I asked again.

"Right now, we have to try everything we can think of. Stretch your foot out. If you slip, we'll all be there to catch you."

I breathed, "Okay. Not exactly the best kinda motivator, but..."

And I stepped over the edge.

The moment I stretched my leg out, a series of stone rectangles extended from the stone edge of the platform we were standing on. The stone steps of the self-generating staircase stopped at where my foot was. Blinking once more, I turned to Mitsuru and asked, "How did you know that'd work?"

She shook her head, "I didn't even know if it would. But like I said...we've got to try everything we can."

"Okay...," I muttered fearfully. "Let's...see how this goes."

And I walked forward. Every single step we would take led to more steps forming out from previous ones. The staircase itself was wide enough to accommodate our numbers, luckily enough. Though, unfortunately, there were no railings. So we all just had to keep ourselves huddled close together, hoping that no Shadow would come flying out from the dark below.

* * *

 **HISTORY REPEATS.**

* * *

When we got to the gateway leading to the rest of the tower, we all decided to take a little breather while at the platform. Tartarus' whole structure may have changed completely; it was best to take a moment off before really getting into the thick of it again.

Monad's golden gates stood right next to the portal. So of course we all ignored them.

"What do you make of them?" I asked Yukari, arms folded.

She followed my glance, and understood then that I was asking about the newcomers, who were all just staring at the entrance portal in a sort of a frightened trance.

"They survived Monad with just starter-level Personas," she said. "That's a feat in and of itself, with or without our assistance. Who d'you think's the best out of the three of them?"

"I haven't seen them use their actual Personas yet, so can't say for sure right now." Put a hand to my chin, "But I'd have to say, Hayase. Most skilled with a weapon; he's won tourneys all over Japan, after all. Kazushi's impatient, a little frenzied in his approach at times. But he can hit real hard, if he pushes himself. Don't really know what Hasegawa-senpai's got in store, though. Only seen her use healing abilities."

Yukari told me then, "At the bottom of Monad, against the Shadow with the scarf...I didn't see too much of it, but they seemed to hold their own pretty well. Though they, like us, were eventually overwhelmed. Like that could be helped, though."

I nodded, and so I decided this was as good a time as any to tell her about Telos, "My newest Persona's a detector."

"Really?" she asked, turning to me. "You mean like Lucia is, for Fuka?"

I shook my head, "It's a little different. Orpheus Telos can see events taking place in the past or concurrently, and I'll see these events through the eyes of others. Mainly, my...Social Links." Yes, it felt strange to say _Social Links_ in front of Yukari after a full six months of keeping it all in, but it was what it was. "I can't control it, not yet."

"S-so...you can see events in your Links' lives?" she asks then. "And you can't control it, huh...?"

"Y-yeah," I said to her, deciding not to indulge further into the topic. Because then there'd be a chance I'd admit I saw her reading her father's letter, and things'd be awkward again.

"Did you...," she eyed me carefully, that questioning tone in her voice something I feared hearing from her, "see _me_ , in any way?"

I inhaled, telling myself to man up and speak the truth. "I saw you reading a letter," I said. "From your father."

"I see," she said, turning away from me then.

"You said earlier we were like _toy soldiers_ ," I told her. "May I ask what you meant by that?"

She sighed, "It's nothing, really. I'm just...I'm a little on edge, what with everything that's happened. And I know I'm not the only one, but...I keep thinking back to my dad, and..." At this, I moved closer to her. She didn't tell me to back off, didn't tell me that I had no need to worry. She just continued. "Do you really think we'll be able to beat this? Whatever _this_ is?"

"Are you talking about the mother of the Shadows, or...," then I looked at the rest of what was left of the lobby. She nodded then.

"Even if we defeat it, even if we overcome it with everything we have, will it really change anything?" she asked.

"Well, it'll most likely end the Dark Hour," I mused. "Best-case scenario, killing it ends up silencing the Shadows forever. That is, if Shadows don't ascribe to ontological inertia..."

"I'm serious," she replied.

"So am I. If the universe decides to continue its cruel streak, then perhaps we won't even be able to kill it at all," I then said. "Maybe even if we do end up killing it, the Shadows may continue proliferating in their own horrific way."

"Did you forget what I told you?" she asked. "That Philemon person said you were gonna die, in our _final battle_ against the Shadows. How're _you_ of all people so casual about outlining all _this_?"

"I'm just being honest," I said to her. "I'm not exactly too keen on facing this Shadow-Goddess, either. But this is the hand we've been dealt."

"You sound like you're just _okay_ with the idea that everything we've done up to this point may just end up all being for nothing, as far as we know," she grunted.

"I never _said_ I was okay with that," I said to her. "All I'm saying is, we've got a choice in front of us: fight and most likely die, or leave and most likely doom the world. We've made our choice, and come what may...," I somberly finished with, "we'll have to face the consequences of that choice, sooner or later."

She just frowned at me, "You make it all sound so trivial..."

"I'm not trying to," I said to her. "We've all done what we can. And we're still doing what we can, digging into this mess to figure out the truth."

"But don't you feel _powerless_ at all?" she suddenly blurted out. "We're all just sitting ducks here. We've killed I don't know how many Shadows to get to this point, and you're just telling me all of this so _plainly_ , I don't even...," she held her head for a few moments. "What if we just fight and fight and it never ends? Persona-users and Shadows, what if people just end up suffering more and more and what if no matter what we or anyone else does, people'll just _keep on_ suffering?"

"Then we'll be faced with the same choice as always," I said to her. "Stay and fight, or leave."

"What if there's no difference between one or the other?" she exhaled harshly. "What if either way, we all just...," she raised her arms, trying to illustrate some sort of point, but lowered them all the same when she meekly finished with, "it all just ends up the same?"

And I told her: "Then that means exactly what you said: everything we'll ever end up doing will mean nothing except to ourselves."

Yukari didn't answer me back with anything other than a resigned sigh.

At this point in time, I decided then to speak to Mitsuru; ask her about what she had planned for us and the Access Points. She had her back turned to all of us. Her arms were folded, and for some reason she seemed content to stare off into nothingness.

Yukari then walked over to me and said, "She's been doing that since we got up on the platform..."

"She most likely sees the Velvet Room door. Still wondering what to do with it, I suppose." I then made my way over to my senpai, and asked her, "What's wrong?"

"You don't see the door...," she responded, after a long period of silence. "Even now?"

"No," I shook my head.

"So, all those times you stood still at the foot of the stairs..."

"Fusing Personas."

Mitsuru sighed in much the same way as Yukari, at that point. "I figured as much...shall I enter?"

"If you so choose."

"How does this work, exactly?" she asks then, holding her palm open. In her palm is the Velvet Key, I'm sure. But I don't see it anymore, like with the door. "I'll meet with the hunchback, and convene with him on how to... _fuse_ your Personas together?"

"Pretty much. You'll be able to pick from the Personas already within my psyche, and fuse them into stronger ones."

"And that is it?"

"That's all it's ever been. Also...don't be intimidated."

"Why should I be?"

"My Personas...stand around," I replied. "And they don't talk very much. Part of my abilities."

"They don't speak to you?"

"Not unless the Social Link corresponding to their specific Arcana advances to a certain extent."

She shook her head, then, "To think you kept all this hidden until now..."

"I thought it was too complicated to really discuss," I admitted.

"It's fine. You've already coughed up virtually everything. I'm just...perplexed as to what to do next. Though, would this really be that necessary?"

"What do you mean?"

"That Persona you summoned in Monad...," she said, putting a finger to her chin, "Orpheus Telos. Is he not strong enough on his own? We hardly need substitutes for him, or do we?"

"Fainted when I used him first," I replied. "It's the Thanatos kind of faint, where I lose consciousness after using him. I think he's still too powerful for me to really use, as I am now..."

"So you'll still have to fuse Personas together."

"We don't have to do it at the moment," I replied. "We haven't checked out the inside of Tartarus yet. Maybe we won't even need to fuse new guys. We don't know what awaits us behind that door. Maybe it'd be best to just test the waters, for now?"

"Perhaps," she replied. "Very well. We shall see what the first few floors have in store for us right now. It can't hurt to see what lies ahead," she then sighed despondently, "or so I hope..."

"By the way...," I began, "what were you planning to do with the...Access Points?"

She nodded and procured a small bag from her skirt pocket. "Do you recall reading about Plumes of Dusk, in my grandfather's notes?"

At the sound of that, I eyed the bag carefully. "They're in there?"

She nodded again.

Plumes of Dusk exist in a state between mind and matter, having properties of both, and have the same space-time manipulation ability as Shadows. Plumes of Dusk are what allow Mitsuru's motorcycle, Evokers, and Anti-Shadow Suppression Weapons like Aegis to function during the Dark Hour. Read about them in passing, in Kouetsu Kirijo's notes. Recalled a moment where Mitsuru's eyes had lit up for just a moment once she had read the same passages as I.

"There are over a hundred of them in here," she said, opening the bag. And I saw a blue light emerge from it, a light that I couldn't bear to see for more than a few seconds, lest it'd blind me.

"Wh-why so many?" I asked, my eyes getting agitated.

Noticing this, she closed the bag and replied, "Remember how I told you how Tartarus' Access Points wouldn't work?"

My brows rose, "You're planning to pour _all of those_ into an Access Point?"

"They'd tried before," she replied. "When Tartarus had first risen up from Gekkoukan all those years ago, my father and his men attempted to make it work, tried using Plumes like they'd always done. No matter how many we'd pour, nothing would come of it. But we'd always just implanted a single Plume at a time. Pooling multiple ones at a time was too dangerous. We didn't know what would occur."

"You're considering taking that risk?" I asked.

"Yes. I am," she said, her hand gripping the bag tighter. "I felt even surer of it when we'd seen Monad's gates for the first time. But perhaps not right now, either. If I end up blown into smithereens, the new blood wouldn't react too kindly to it, I'm sure."

I gulped, "W-was that a joke?"

"It actually started off as one," she replied, "but then I thought about it more. It was an honest assessment, all things considered."

"So, guys," Hayase began, interrupting the conversation. "Any advice? What's the battle plan, here?"

I turned to him, turned to the newbies.

"Makoto, this has bad news written all over it...," Kazushi sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "My first real night here, and already, this'll be a way bigger task than just swattin' at Kendo dolls."

"Will our weapons even _work_?" Saori spoke up. "I remember Monad...what we'd faced. Will normal weapons like these have any real effect?"

"You'd be surprised," I said to her. "Okay. The way we usually go about this is, we sneak about and once we find Shadows of any sort, we go in for the kill. Personas are our last resort, because using them draws way more attention than we'd like. Shadows hate humans enough as they are, so you can imagine they don't react too kindly to seeing one with a Persona barrelling out of his head."

"Jeez...," Kazushi groaned. "Alright. So our weapons _do_ work against 'em?"

"Yeah. Luckily, Shadows may be tough, but not tough enough for good old-fashioned swordplay."

"No guns, though?" Saori asked then.

"Well, we use Evokers to summon our Personas," I replied, holding up my own silver gun. "Initially, I thought guns would've been more convenient to use...but the more I thought about it, the more using blades made sense."

"How's this even work...?" Mamoru asked. "We literally point it at our heads, then shoot?"

"S'posed to stress you out," said Shinjiro, cutting in. "Your Persona comes out when you feel like you're so on the edge you can't take it anymore. The Evoker's meant to release all o' that in one big burst."

Intimidated by his size, Mamoru simply replied, "Okay, then..."

"Are you all ready?" Fuka asked then. "We can turn back right now, if you're not feeling up to it."

The vets wordlessly stood straight and brandished their weapons. Kazushi, Saori, and Mamoru all felt a billion times smaller. Just as Junpei, Yukari, and I had felt the first time we'd entered this place.

Mamoru said, "Ready."

Kazushi and Saori nodded along with him. I knew deep in my heart they were gonna regret their decision. It was all a question of _when_.

* * *

"Okay, this _didn't_ happen before."

Cuboid structures with checkerboard patterns drifted all throughout the world, and we were on one of them. The structures had large clocks in them, each larger than ten men and each with their hands set firmly at midnight. The walls were a dark green and of course the red seeped through the cracks and the crevaces, down to yet another black abyss just right below us.

Unlike Monad, there were no static platforms of any kind. No bone bridges, no staircases, no grips on the walls. Just a bunch of cubes floating through space without issue. And we were expected to go from one platform to the next, no biggie.

What drove us mad was the fact that the platform floating closest to us was twenty meters away; roaming around at faster speeds, and in more random directions.

"Wait, so, it wasn't like this before?" asked Mamoru.

"They were just hallways before. Just hallways...," Akihiko responded.

"This ain't right at all...," muttered Kazushi.

Junpei cleared his throat, "That's Tartarus for you...you can always count on it to surprise you."

 _=/= Everyone, stay sharp! I sense five Shadows inbound! Coming from the abyss! =/=_

"Everyone keep your weapons up," I said then. "Aragaki, Kazushi, Mamoru, Junpei, Akihiko; you stay at my sides. Yukari, Kirijo, Hasegawa, all of you behind the four of us. Heal us when we need it!"

Wordlessly, everyone got into position. The fear and pressure in the air palpable, they raised the steel in their hands and hoped that nothing too bad would come at us.

"Y-you sure we can't summon already!?" Kazushi yelped out.

"Not until we see them!" I exclaimed. "We summon, we only draw more attention to ourselves! Plus, we paint a bigger target on our backs..."

"Quick question!" Mamoru cried. "If our Personas get hit, do we feel the same amount of damage!?"

 _Really_ should have explained things better right outside the gates, but, "Yeah! No physical wounds or anything, but the pain can be staggering!"

"A-and how do you fight using them!?" cried Saori.

"You'll _know_ when you summon 'em," Akihiko replied. "It's an instinctual thing—! _Here they come_!"

"What in the...!?"

Three creatures rose from below and when us vets saw them, we were of course taken aback, but more because we were underwhelmed. Giant beetles again. Wearing Emperor masks. I recalled battling one of them, months ago. I, along with Akihiko and Junpei and Yukari. But of course, for the three newcomers, the first thing that came to their minds was a loud _What Are Those Kill Them Kill Them Now_.

" _HYYAAAAAAA—"_

History was repeating itself far too much for it to be acceptable.

"Kazushi Kazushi wait stop for just a second _it's weak to wind—!"_

Kazushi made his dash not because he wanted to look cool or like a hero; he was unlike Junpei, in that respect. He displayed this sort of fearful recklessness throughout our time together, and even though he had turned a new leaf, seeing _another_ Shadow trying to attack us appeared to dredge up that side of him again.

The beetle he'd targeted had already turned its attention to him, the moment Kazushi had made his scream. But before he could have driven his blade in, Kazushi was tackled to the ground by a certain boxer who just _knew_ that Kazushi would have died had he not intervened.

After Akihiko got Kaz a good distance away, the rest of us saw the Shadows distracted, and so found ourselves free to go in for our own attack.

"Come on!" I cried, turning to Saori and Mamoru—they were shaking and they were afraid and like we had been they did not know what to do next—but I called, "You stay still, you die!" as the vets ran to me. I turned then to Yukari, and she heard me exclaim, "Get Io out on the field and blast 'em with wind!"

Immediately she did as she was told, and when Saori and Mamoru saw Io, the look on their faces would make you think they'd just drop everything then and there. But they didn't, thankfully enough, and Yukari's Persona ripped into the beetles before they could even turn to face us.

The pillars of wind hit their bodies from under them, tossing them into the air. Their bodies writhed and their legs flailed in that disgusting flail insects have, even as they landed to the ground. One of the beetles' heads had been crushed and mangled from the moment of impact alone, so we already had one down. The other two staggered. Most of their legs had been torn off from the force of the wind hitting their underbellies, so they could do little more than stagger and shamble and screech out their unholy noises.

We older soldiers looked upon the sight coldly, having gotten used to it long ago. But Mamoru and Saori just stared, not knowing what to say or if there was anything _to_ say. It was obvious that those with more experience would've taken care of first-floor Shadows rather easily. But I'd no idea we'd gotten so _strong_ since before. I turned to the new blood, stretching my arm out to my older allies to halt their onslaught.

"Hayase, Miyamoto, Hasegawa; kill the remaining two."

Akihiko brought Kazushi up and pulled him over to his two companions. And the three looked at the creature, at me, the rest of the team—at various rates. Mamoru was the first to step forward, and he asked me this as he continued glaring at the prey laid out before him: "We can use Personas now, huh...?"

"Might as well," I replied simply.

He turned to me, both our faces cold. He nodded, and I nodded back. Not long after that, he pressed his Evoker to under his chin, and in a cold sweat cried out for his Persona, " _Futsunushi_!"

A katana-wielding giant that wore dragon skulls all over its form roared into the world and brandished its blade; a blade sharp enough to carve through moons in half a second. Mamoru turned to Kazushi and Saori, and they understood. Walking to his sides, they nodded to each other, pressed their own Evokers to their heads.

And we saw them, in all their majesty.

"Hachiman!"

"Circe!"

Hachiman was a warrior that brandished a steel blade that was more a lump of iron than a sword. Circe was adorned in tattered green robes, golden prophecies lining every inch of her skin. Bursting in the world with all the life and vigor of legends brought into reality, they and Futsunushi rained everything they had in them down on the creatures roaring their unfathomably loud roars.

By the end of it, they were all breathing like they'd just freed themselves from drowning. Kazushi was the first to fall to his knees, dropping even his blade. Saori followed not long after, leaning on Kazushi's shoulder. Mamoru just dug his weapon into the ground and groaned as he gripped the handle tight. He glared at me, though it was not in anger, and I nodded back at him.

Not to tell him that he did a good job, but to tell him that this was only going to get worse for all of them as the days would roll by.

 ** _SMASH!_**

 ** _"Thou shalt be blessed_** ** _if thou chooseth to imbue thyself with the Arcana Beyond the World..._** ** _  
Thou shalt be blessed if thou chooseth to imbue thyself with the Arcana of the Twenty-Second Fool..."_**

* * *

Shortly after that, I had Mitsuru explain a great number of things to them; about how Tartarus worked, Shadows and their weaknesses, and the importance of utilizing each other's powers to best benefit the team as a whole. Basically, everything I should've explained to them beforehand, but more or less was not as concerned with explaining as I should've been.

Right now, no Shadows were in the vicinity. Which was a very, very good thing. So the others, including myself, just took the time to rest for a moment. But there was something I had to do, before really getting into it.

"Takeba." She stopped. Then exhaled, then turned. Facing me resignedly. I then said to her, drawing closer to her again, "I don't know what awaits us in the future. I don't know if we'll end up stopping the Hour, or ending the Shadow threat, or ensuring somehow our school stops transforming into Tartarus. But if there's even a small chance of stopping this, I'll take it."

She raised her brow at me. Not saying a single thing in response, yet not pushing me away. So I decided to admit something to her.

"I'm scared of dying, too." _That_ got her to face me directly. "I haven't forgotten what you told me, that night in the lobby. But I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself if I ran away from it all now, when the city needs us most."

Then I walked past her, following the rest of the group in her place. After that, it was her turn to call me out: "What if you're wrong?" I turned to her, and she continued. "What if all this is some wild goose chase that leads nowhere, and all your decisions end up falling down the drain anyway? Will you be able to forgive yourself _then_?"

I blinked at her, just deciding to be even more blunt than I already had been, "Whether or not our choices are the right ones, none of us know. But they're all we have, in the end."

Then I turned away. She and I said nothing more to each other the whole way home. Not even when the green turned black, when night turned to day, and when the den of Shadows transformed back into a simple school building.

Perhaps I should have told her about what had happened, in Monad. How I had faced my Shadow, and what I had decided to change in myself. Perhaps I should have told her about how I'm terrified not only of failing in our mission, but failing to maintain the mask of a _good person_ , in the end of it all. Perhaps I should have told her that, even though she had said it back in Monad out of fear, since that day I still hoped that she and I would be able to talk to each other again like ordinary people.

Perhaps I _really_ should have told her...that even I didn't really know what I was going to do with myself, if all of our deeds up to this point turned out to have been all for nothing. I, too, didn't want to be wrong; I didn't want all of this to have been meaningless. But what other path had we, except to fight?

What if that was our only option?

* * *

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

* * *

Gonna be a few more chapters of this sort of thing; really wanna delve into S.E.E.S.' new members here, and how they'll react to the changes in Tartarus. Hope ya'll liked this chapter, and if you saw some things involving Fuka in the previous chapter that you felt didn't make much sense, those are things that will come around in future rewrites for Part I! So stick around if you're interested, hehe (hopefully you are I'm sorry this story's taking so long for updates :P)

Honestly considering just merging this Part with Part I just for conveniences sake, but well y'know.

Please review, if you've got any thoughts you'd like to give out. :D


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